My boyfriend is still on online dating site

Boyfriend still on online dating sites

 the most i ever got from him, before we broke up, was that there is nothing wrong with “just looking” and i was just way overreacting. second one was completely different – clearly keen on me, rather in awe of me in fact, but a widower recently out of a long marriage who was rather insecure and had a bit of a “kid in a sweet shop” attraction to the dating site. existential question:If a man cheats openly on his live-in girlfriend, is he actually a cheater? in the article above i recommended that you update your profile to show him you’re still active. things are well, but i’m still struggling with it all. boyfriend – who is over 60 – has had more dates than anyone i know and still receives notifications of women who have emailed him constantly. after 6 months of dating, he still introduces me as a friend to people he knows when we go out. neither of us had an official discussion about bf/gf labels yet, but i wasn’t in a hurry for all that stuff, as everything truly felt great and was going so well. i meet this guy on a dating site 3 months ago and we do have feelings for each other. he said that he had taken his match account down, and i believed him. i asked about it and to his credit -it is an old flame and he hasn’t been on the site since april. but for some reason – i am resistive to be ‘all in’. my sense is true, he is doing his best to keep barb confused and baffled. think i’m hot but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to think so. from the very beginning he was sleeping over at his ex, vowing they were just best friends now. i said it was up to him (i want him to take it down because he wants to not because i want him to…) i did say that him keeping his profile active made me feel that he wished to keep his options open and that if he wanted me to feel that way then to carry on.) last night i went on (my profile is hidden) and his profile is active for everyone to see. a man leaves his online dating profile active, what does it mean? said, if you’ve only been dating for 4 or 5 weeks, i think i’d recommend you just be patient for a while longer. weirdly, i kind of wish him the best – he’s being true to himself. i try not to pressure him about it and he hasn’t been dishonest with me. and that he stays online because he is afraid of closing all doors and just be with me, the first woman. i get that you can view profiles for free… but my thing is that if a person is into you seeing you more than once a week – nine times out of ten you have nothing to worry about… dating more than one person is not something most guys are good at and let’s face it… it is too damn expensive. not in that place to talk about exclusivity but one thing that i find bothersome for me is when i see he is online immediately after i’ve left his place or he’s left mine. – i don’t think expecting someone to be honest is being “needy”. he knows that i will soon live where he lives because that is my future plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. i know it sounds petty but he is being petty by saying stuff like that to you and even being on those sites. to be honest, i’m not convinced that all the guys doing this even understand why. it’s so frustrating for me that the website charged him (earlier than they should) and after he had cancelled his sub. we met on a dating site and i knew when we started dating his profile was hidden ( i wanted to show my friends who he was but couldnt find it! he opened an email and my friends said he was online within 24 hours. infind an expert featuredexpert supportexperts advicethought leadersbecome an expertexperts faq love quoteslove stagessingletakenengagedmarriedstarting overcomplicatedaboutabout uscontactfriends & partnersmedia buzzfaqadvertisingsitemapprivacy policyfeedbackjoinjoin our communitywrite for usjobsmore categoriesdatingmencouplehoodchallengesbreakupscelebslifestyle follow us sign up for newsletter follow us sign insearch articlesfind an expertvideos categorieslovesexfamilyheartbreakselfbuzzvideosexperts featured expert support experts advicethought leadersbecome an expertexperts faq love quotes love stages singletakenengagedmarriedstarting overcomplicated about about uscontactfriends & partnersmedia buzzfaqadvertisingsitemapprivacy policyfeedback join join our communitywrite for usjobs more categories datingmencouplehoodchallengesbreakupscelebslifestyle sign up for newsletter my boyfriend is still “looking…” 64 shares + barbarakennedycontributor heartbreak december 15, 2010. you are old and wise enough to read the tos and have basic respect. if he still doesn’t make the right decision (taking his profile down), i think you may want to consider putting yours back up as well to see if you can find other people to date., in your response to cat, not all guys are like this. 3 weeks of talking he came to visit me for the weekend, and there was no nervous or uncomfortable feeling between us, just really had an amazing time.’m realizing that the bottom line is, i don’t trust him anymore.’ve decided to try online dating and found yourself talking to a man that seems promising. my sister looked on her computer from he account as she is on there, too. openly displaying his online activity is openly displaying his power in the relationship, showing pride in being able to manipulate another’s perception to the point where he can get away with continued online dating activity. the risk of being lied to is higher online because it is a catalogue of sorts. how he hates the fact he makes me feel the way i do with all this. we were going to hang out all day but he told me yesterday that it’s his friend’s birthday on saturday, i mean how do u forget that? i then said: ” i am the other girl” the look on his face was priceless especially when he realised that all of the stuff he had written (and there was pages and pages of very intimate stuff) was all sent to me..but between the texts and the online dating profile still being live i am not sure what to do. again, i calmly asked him about this, and he seemed genuinely confused. so i can see how the boys would struggle to manage that and think that continuing conversations online harmless… it is an enormous confidence booster, flattering to receive attention and the thrill of first dates really good fun. after almost 4 months, i was really falling for him, and had stopped dating other guys after month 3. your situation is a little different because it sounds as if he didn’t have a dating profile when you started dating but now he has one (? there will come a point that you will need to draw a line and make ultimatums but i’m not convinced one month into the relationship is that time (especially if you think you’ve found a great guy). because he’s a narcissist, but because he won’t leave his ex alone and turns nasty. mean we are just getting to know each other, and it’s still very new, but since i had asked him if he is still on dating sites or talking to other women, i feel like he wasn’t sincere by telling me he wasn’t. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. we have taken our relationship to the next level (if you can call it a relationship) intamacy is great. there are some great guys using dating services but sometimes it takes having a good deal of patience to find them. i’ve met his family and friends, he takes me out everywhere and even wants to book time off with me. he may have secretly been hoping for a commitment from you after having this conversation and when that didn’t happen he’s now not sure the relationship is going where he had hoped it would. i met someone online a year ago and we started dating six months ago. i was kind of shocked – as i was never part of this ‘game plan’ discussion, in fact he had not discussed anything further with me about living together! you had the conversation about killing both profiles there is no excuse to open the emails or winks even now that you know the tidbit about the cookie auto log in i just told you about. asked me about it in person i said i was checking his profile. this would put our “relationship” on hold and already up to a tough test. i met a guy on plenty of fish in june. i didn’t ask him if he was going to delete his, i assumed that of course he would. i’ve lived in a military town my whole life, and i avoided dating military men for that entire reason. thoughts are that yes a girl makes this decision more quickly – instinctively not wishing to harm the budding relationship. situation is very similar to what had been described in a few of the comments earlier..what am i going to be with you, sleep with you, & be wondering whats going on; on the side with the dating site…. the attention from online dating is just more food for the narcissist. saying, this second guy wasn’t a player at all but just an insecure man hooked on the attention…. the next morning i asked why he always tried to meet me during weekdays and he said it was just a coincidence cos his weekends would get so busy.. even if after i take mine down, because it is just a profile… and i have decided… (just now) after reading all these comments that unless he cheats and i can prove it (and i will be gone)… nothing else matters…. we had an amazing connection and he made me his girlfriend about the second time we hung out. he apologized and said that he did panic and freak out because he is afraid to ‘settle down’. he might say nice things, flatter you etc, but if his actions aren’t consistent with his words, he’s sending a message, loud and clear. sent the email not as an ultimatum but just as an fyi… and i am sure he will stay on line until he decides what he is looking for and if in fact it is in me. my heart is finally caught up with my head and i just know that nothing will ever change and no good will ever come of it. accidentally discovered that my bf had recently logged into his online dating profile..he is such a great guy who i think is worth it. met him on pof in august 2013 and to be honest, i had just started dating again since my divorce 6 1/2 years earlier. so my question is should i be concern about his profile is still up and he’s still checking it, since i never mention or ask him to take it down.  he will tell you that all of these dating websites is how people make new friends. she's asking the man she's been w…"barbara on what do i do with a boyfriend who lets his daughter exclude me?. he told his fwb girl ‘love you’ in a text, and that was a little over a month after we first met. i then said well, it is partly because of you, i am not interested in talking to anyone else while i am getting to know you. he even had me add a tracking device on my phone so i can see exactly where he is at all times. guys are just passive, so it’s hard to know if there’s any issue here. he hides his friends list on facebook and has changed his relationship status from “single” to hidden since he asked me to be his gf. are just guesses but the fact that he took it down in the first place is the most interesting part to me. it hurts me that he denies our relationship to people he know but is all about it in private. he still makes updates to his site and says he is single and “looking for long term and short term dating. i checked the messages tonight and it said he was online now so i messaged him with hi how are you, he didn’t respond. the online dating profile is tellng me that he is still keeping his options open just incase. all that being said, i do have some family issues in my life, i have a brother who has a drug/alcohol problem who is always getting in trouble that i have to look out for, my mother passed away 5 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. no wonder so many lose faith in the online dating venue. hours from where i live, so we knew that dating each other wouldn’t be that easy, but we also said to each other that we would make it work. if you haven’t agreed to be exclusive, i feel this is the point that the relationship would need to reach before you would be in a position of strength to ask that the profile be removed.’ve been dating the same guy for 4 months and today i asked him where i stand and he is not answering me back is he hiding something from me. curious of anyone’s thoughts on this…been going out with a guy i met online. then i said how about we just put this off till next week but he seemed eager to see me cause he said no let’s meet on saturday.***ladies please,i know this is very hard to understand and comprehend and digest, but plain and simple if you have been in a relationship with a guy and it has been over 2 months or so and he has told you that you are exclusive and that he does not want to be with anyone else, yet he still keeps his profile up even after you have confronted him… plain and simple, the guy is not that into you! to nathaniel branden, self-esteem is made up of 2 components: self-value and self-confidence.

My boyfriend still on dating site

the site was deleted and i never heard anything else about it. slept together after about 5 dates and it just felt right but neither of us mentioned about being exclusive, i think we both took it we were only seeing and sleeping with each other, at this point he was still active on site but my time on there was becoming less. a friend advised me to keep dating other people, but i’ve never really worked that way… but i do feel i need to back off a bit from this man. so, again, not defending him but i prefer his response over a lot of other responses i’ve seen. that’s besides the point really but it’s still true., forgot to mention, i go over to his place a lot and everytime i leave, he begs me to stay and says he hates that i have to leave..he said no, just that he is struggling at the moment. “if then it dosn’t work out boys – by all means go back online, chat and date all the people in the world that you desire! we made some mistakes by not talking earlier, but i did not want to use that as a reason for exercizing caution when i knew i would not go forward. when you bring up the fact that his profile is up, do you tell him that it bothers you? if after a week his is still up, you could try dropping hints: maybe mention that you took your profile down or talk about how you enjoy spending time with him. as i discussed above, i would recommend against being aggressive or angry. it was identical to the match account he had (still has actually, but there’s been no activity for months).  he became very controlling, and got very nasty one day when i objected to his behavior and condescending attitude. he even had the brashness to say in his email to this imaginary girl (who was me): ” i am also very honest with my partners, nothing can be built on lies…. he also told me at night that he’s missing challenge in his life. non-cheating; your feelings of hurt and betrayal, instead of the why: why is he motivated to go online and do this? i slightly said some of my concerns today (coming off as joking) and he lied and said he hasn’t been online since the time of our date to take his profile down.  he will tell you that you make new male friends all the time and so he’s making new friends – and you might really be making new friends but the key of course is the difference between making a friend or new acquaintance and dating someone. i kinda already mentioned about this… i dont know how to play it. about a week ago, i noticed that he had the pof app installed on his phone, and he just got a new phone a few days before that – so i calmly asked him about it. this might provide him time to come around while at the same time giving yourself a chance to find someone who’s looking for the same thing you’re looking for. he wants to spend all of his free time with me and i feel that due to the fact that hes new to the city that’s mainly because he doesn’t know a lot of ppl. he replied jokingly asking if i stalk him haha and that he didn’t know why because he turned off his roaming of data to not have a cost explosion. a company that lets its ceo cook the books and embezzle from them because he’s a smart, charismatic guy. online dating was an avenue i hadn’t tried and i was curious! if we dont choose wisely when we are young, choices are slim when we are just a little older - no matter how "hot" we are. i know that when you are dating you should do this but i just can’t and he said he was the same. that i will want to continue in the same way knowing he is looking/browsing for someone else? can’t really speak to how much hope there is in this situation but maybe instead of walking away, you just open your options as well? it seems to me that many people want to be open to long distance relationships but then when they get in one, they decided to keep their options open for something closer. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. then i can still look online and see that he is on those sites almost everyday. realistically i believe that whether or not he has paid for a subscription, if he is interested in me – then he shouldn’t be using it! there is a definite difference between a sociopath (called antisocial personality disorder in the dsm iv) and a narcissist (or narcissistic personality disorder). this morning i texted him the usual good morning text, please be safe out there etc. i in your situation, i would make it clear to whomever i was dating that absolute commitment was of the utmost importance to me. he was very interested in asking me about my life, my opinions, my family, my experiences and he genuinely seemed to care and to want to listen. i did my usual hey there sexy, he said lol…i asked him how his work thing was going, no response. he told me he was going away for 2 days for work (this is true), so i took that as a hint not to text because he was busy. also, it is worth loosing a dream for a love. figure with all the things he has done it sounds like he is interested in me.? does that really…"stacy2 on what do i do with a boyfriend who lets his daughter exclude me? we both want to get married, so this site and our culture is the norm for that. kinda confuses me…but i have created a fake profile on the same site with no picture and said that i don’t have any kids and made myself 2 inches taller and also put that i live in the town i grew up in. he lives about 120 miles away and is busy finishing up his residency. after a couple of weeks i told him that i had deactivated my profile and he told me that he had cancelled his subscription. i think is high-time you let him know that if he wants to play the game; two can play the game. one thing bothers me though, his profile in the dating site is still active – though he told me before that he rarely checks or chat with women in it. lied when he said he added pictures to his profile just to see if i would notice and to see if i was still online. months later, i wrote him a letter detailing why i was done dealing with his narcissistic, rude, abusive behaviors. he immediately guessed my name – so guess at this point he’s only seeing me. i took some time to reflect and by the end of the week i realized how much i missed him. not by his charm or anything, but by the effort he puts into being with me and everything.. which is solely his decision… however i have the right to vocalize my thoughts which is what i did… i would never tell him to close his account and also to those of you that are upset that you man has his account out there… how do you know unless yours is out there or you are still online? i wonder why dating is so hard for myself but seems so easy for others. but i must say his profiles up still really bother me, especially since we have been intimate. need a bit of advice as i’m recently dealing with this. this doesn’t make leaving his profile up is right…but it could mean that he is committed to you even though he is taking an action that suggests otherwise (so don’t lose all hope! of the most amazingly insightful, and accurate, observation of a narcissist i have ever read. don’t over react but do not ignore the nagging inconsistencies. there is a temptation, for both men and women, to try to continually “trade up”.” so i admitted what i had done, he got mad that i didn’t trust him, and i got mad that he was still on there. to turn things around he tells me he likes me very much and misses me when he’s gone. we have been calling/texting each other about everyday since we met online. i understand his availability issues because of his work as a nurse, but i’m feeling this sadness and doubt inside me because it has already been almost a week since he last sent me a message. while i agree that this is an emergency situation, and my gut is telling me barb should get the hell out, i understand that barb can’t see this for herself yet, at least with her head. you were a bit persistent while i guess i didn’t help matters! the answer is to step out of the game and pull the covers off…step out of the matrix and see what is real. first, the idea that you calling his phone or texting him would drain his phone battery is a lie, although i imagine he’s going to use that event if pressed on why he’s not talking to you. i began dating, i realized what fun i was having with it, even if a date wasn’t great, i just loved getting out there and meeting new people and discovering things about myself and relationships that i hadn’t before. i do have some advice but let’s first look at one reader’s email and user this as an example for better understanding where you stand with your guy:My issue comes with him still having his profile up, and with my curiosity getting the best of me, i check almost everyday just to see when he last logged on – seems to be every few days or so.  what kind of person remains on that dating website after his live-in partner tells him that it upsets her? i immediately drove over to his house, and asked him (not in an angry or confrontational way) if we wanted to date other people.” he took my hand, placed it on his chest which was beating as fast as mine and said with a smile “it’s what happens when you’re falling in love” a few days later, he updated his headline on pof to “undecided” —- i dont even know what that means. they can be crazy about you and still want to screw the basement chick. to be honest the site was for marriage purpose, i have been in there for some time and gave up hope. the worst part is that he is doing this while i am sitting in the same room, but hides what site he is on! we have gone on trips, and had wonderful dates, he told me i’m just the girl he’s dating. are some very interesting posts here and you give great advise. question: do the same mechanics apply vice versa (woman continues to browse the onlinedating site)?’m still very interested to hear your thoughts and advice. and sadly, sometimes they do this right until the day they kick the bucket.  he is not 25, in a new city looking for love or friendship. he said that he is very much excited in seeing and dating me, and already planned on where we would go. when we are together his behavior to me in without fault and amazingly caring. i definitely can not be physical with him if i know he is talking to other people. literlally with in mins of saying good nite to me he was online, he disappeared for a few min and then came back up and now his profile was saying he was looking for a relationship, so it went from nothing serious to looking for! but i just dont know how to really tell if his idea of a relationship is the same as mine or if he just wants to date. he has not only changed his profile picture, he has added a picture from our trip, a picture that i took of him. if he is honest and admits to having a commitment issue, could you give him more time? boat here…been dating my guy for 11 months now – we are both 42…. he finally set up some time for us to talk, but i was frustrated that at this point, he had already given his landlord 30 days notice. all this bull about the guy being scared of commitment and just being a guy is bull crap. i texted him and said that i think if he wants to take this relationship seriously as he says (kids, marriage, moving in together, etc) then it’s probably a good idea to delete the profiles. i disagree with the person who said this isn’t about barb’s lower self-esteem.. ladies, be smart about this, like a previous poster said, respect yourselves, love yourselves, and have enough confidence to kick his azz to the curb if you have to… one day he will realize what he had and how he messed it up, may not be tomorrow but one day he will! then i saw just two months ago he was texting w/ his buddies about have spring time itch again. we were approved he never moved in because he has his own home.  he’ll tell you that he’s deeply hurt that the woman he built a life with for over a year is participating in baseless witch-hunts. 4 units so busy but he bought it to my attention that he saw me online previous day. so i know this is wrong but i decided to make a fake profile using my sister’s photos since she lives in another country.

My boyfriend is on online dating sites

need this inscribed on my soul so i never, ever forget again! i’ve been to a work picnic once but haven’t met his friends . to me this makes it feel as if hes expecting us to fail or something. at this time he posted that he was “single” on ok and so did i. then, one day, out of the blue i decided to see if he was still using the dating site and he was online and chatting with girls. not that you can’t find success, but often this approach mentally “locks” us into continuing to pursue a relationship even when it isn’t that great (and there are lots of other reasons to date multiple people in my mind, but i’ll not go over all that again here). so i checked online later monday and low and behold he created a new profile recently online and he was on that day. i still haven’t come across a problem like mine. you don’t have to be aggressive when you talk with him about this but i would be direct and ask him straight out where you stand and explain the confusion he’s creating for you. of the last couple of weeks ive had this nagging suspicious feeling and i couldn’t put my finger on it. everything i’m hearing is that if you open the email (even to just delete it), match will now show you as active. it is being wise and mature to set clear concise boundaries to value and protect your emotional sexual health. barb’s letter i suspect her boyfriend is an all too typical narcissistic type personality. the narcissist has all kinds of defense mechanisms designed to allow in only positive empathic information about himself and all kinds of control systems designed to generate this positive feedback. but what if he doesn’t… i cannot go on for years knowing the profile is there. however, after a while i think we both stepped back slightly due to this situation. on monday he asked if he could see me on tuesday and i told him i wouldn’t mind but i wasn’t getting intimate since i didn’t like the idea of him flirting and dating other women. i finally told him he need to set up a specific date with me where we could go out and talk about this stuff together and privately. he left he kissed me on my forehead & cheeks before the lips. at this point in time it is not wise to promise exclusivity to any man without a proposal. later that night i noticed he had taken his profile off and i was very happy. i mean, if he meets someone else online it’s not as if you’re exclusive any longer. he said that he wants to continue dating me and that he wants to work on things. i am really confused cos y’day he was online 3 times i haven’t even gone into my account.) photo: weheartit the 2 magic words that make men commit instantlyphoto: istock this shocking video shows the real reason you aren’t losing weightphoto: istock the 1-night challenge that totally revolutionized my relationshipphoto: weheartit the truth about how men choose the woman they're going to marryphoto: istock if you’re sick and nobody knows why, here’s what you need to knowphoto: weheartit the kind of woman he falls for hard, according to his zodiac signphoto: weheartit 3 mind games all narcissistic men play in relationships photo: weheartit do not say 'i love you' until you can honestly answer these 5 q'sexpert advicephoto: weheartit 3 mind games all narcissistic men play in relationships watch out for these signs. you need to reach out to friends to get their input on his behaviour and his character. i’ve don’t a ton of research on this and cannot find any explanation of how a dating profile can show recent activity if the user has not been on for supposedly over a year. he has a difficult time discussing a lot of emotional things. he said that’s fine cos him & his friends would go back to the city in any case. it seemed as if we were back to where we were 🙂 but something got me curious and so i went on the same website that we met on thre years ago and there he is on line that day.’s tricky to suggest an amount of time set in stone for when you should expect things to move forward as every relationship is different. i told him i appreciate his honesty and that if he still wanted to ‘date’ (not spend nights, yada yada) while we both date others, to keep our connection going, i was ok with that., let’s just say for example he was doing it because he was bored, but had no other intentions… well even that is dangerous because i personally know so many couples who have broken up over facebook accounts, comments, pics etc… it always just starts so innocently, a person looks cute, they say hello and that could lead to a full blown relationship/affair/fling. heard from him twice while away – one sentence texts, with no greeting or emoticon – i answered and then he never responded – both times were like this. it is as you say evan, do not negotiate with a man like this, just cut him off. you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like google for your love life! the fact that you’re taking the time to answer each person is truly amazing.’s establish a few things that should be indisputable when it comes to online dating. have heard of guys like this who were elderly and playing these games at the nursing home! all that wasted time waiting for him to make the right choice only to have him start dating someone else. any insecurities i had were short lived – he has proved to me through his actions that i can trust him. we spend a good deal of our free time together, he’s met my friends and family (he has no one here, but his family knows about me), and we have an amazing time whenever we are together. he promised that was not his intention and again said he would take his profile down, but needed help because he couldn’t figure it out. – that he could go back online without telling me – this feels like he is going behind my back in some way – though the forum is public so of course i then think the act of going back online means he is making a massive statement that he is no longer interested instead of having the respect and courage to say so to my face… if you know what i mean. too don’t think that barb suffers from low self-esteem, but just wants to make sure she is doing the right thing before she does it, both in her head and in her heart – to know that she has done her best and is not over-reacting. and he replied with a nice good morning text as usual, apologizing for not texting yesterday but he didn’t go to the wifi place but went to the base and finished settling in and going to bed early.  he’s keeping his hand in to keep his options open. i ended communication with all other guys, hid my profile and gave this guy my full attention because that’s the kind of woman i am. lied to me when he told me he had not said ‘i love you’ to anyone since his ex-wife. – i can’t really speak to what’s going on in his head. to hear but this is how it should go if you expect to be trusted. i am going to do what i want because he is surely doing what he wants. and he said he had logged in to show his friends my picture that i was the highlight of the weekend. i am not sure if i can handle knowing that he is with me and others. i told one guy who was interested enough to keep dating me occasionally but not contact me regularly, i am not a back-burner girl. i agree with @paul mawdsley, he is probably spinning you an intricate web of lies and deceptions which makes you feel unsure and doubt yourself. then if it doesn’t, you could tell him a friend told you that she saw him actively online and you could ask why his profile is still active. notice shes still going on this same dating website we met on ( i had taken mine off since we met) but this worries me so much that i asked if she still went onto the site and she said she did. at least some of the guys will admit they’re keeping their profile online updated or keeping their options open. he said he was trying to hide his but couldnt do it on his phone but when he gets a laptop he will do it, i said ill hide mine too. i’ve been dating this guy i met on pof for 3mts now., this is just my sense of things, my theory, based on a small amount of information and a lifetime of experience that helps me recognize the meaning of patterns in the subtleties of behaviour very quickly. you don’t want his profile up and that’s what i think you should have said. deleted my profile about 2 weeks after we had started being boyfriend and girlfriend. i know, because i have a friend that is on the same dating site and she keeps me updated, unfortunately. i know he’s been feeling unwell & low lately and my sister doesn’t help the cause. i don’t think that means that you should have concerns that you’re being cheated on, but i do think you should have concerns around “why does he feel that he still needs to be checking his dating profile? he had asked me to meet his mom a few months ago, but we had to cancel and it has yet to happen. day 3 he texts me and apologizes for his coldness and tells me that i don’t deserve that. you both have a profile on match and have been intimate on more than one occasion, one or both of you should step up to the plate and discuss the options.  ironically, i told all of my new male friends that i was already in a relationship so that there would be no misunderstanding. i recently started seeing this guy and we met through an online site a long time ago but we just started talking through facebook. and my rule for kate is “just let me know what you’re thinking”. he is gone the third day only, and when he arrived there he texted me that getting a wifi hotspot is problematic, but that he would figure it out. i guess i’m writing because it seems like we have a good connection and that he likes me (he even told me so) but he hasn’t made a move to discuss exclusivity and he doesn’t seem like he’s interested in giving up his profile. and if the car situation didn’t exist, is it likely you’d find another reason to worry? in the begining i didnt have a problem with him still being active on the site cus it was early days, i was still on there too. the next day, he disappeared and went totally dark on me..he wasn’t being extra sweet to me in his texts…one night from my hidden account i looked on match and noticed he had his profile up, he even uploaded a picture i took of him. he said he could ask me the same thing and that i had blown up his phone all day until it died. am struck by how similar my experience is to so many others. i have also made myself avaible for this same night. i am just going to start dating other people and not even worry about it.  i know…i had a guy like this in my life…and i am so embarassed that i took this emotional abuse. does he really think that i will be happy to settle for being his ‘she’ll do in the meantime’ girl? another problem is that a few times he had informed me that he is confused and do not know what he wants in life or keeps on changing his problem which makes me feel so confused and disappointed. i was able to see his messages and as of today it shows that he had logged in and there were messages from women in which he had responded to just a couple of hours earlier before i came home. the goal is to find a guy who will both say and show that he cares for you.  this guy is hopeless and has been at this crap for years. i understand not wanting to fight and dropping it but his excuse for being on the site was pretty weak…. the assumption that guys see things just as women do is risky business…especially if you are rapidly ending relationships based on that assumption. just finished it on the assumption that he had had plenty long enough to decide if he liked me a little bit or not. i had touched on a similar topic last year in my post my boyfriend has kept his online dating profile active. until now, nothing about him has bothered me at all, and i would hate for this to ruin what could be a great thing. except the fact that my bf wanted to date me and see me, but still thought there was someone else out there “better” for him, so he kept the site up. so, while perhaps this seems immature, i got gussied up big time and decided to go out that night, knowing we were supposed to go out together later on. come everyone i want to meet online isn’t interested in me? you other questions on if his story is true or if he was using you for sex…i really have no idea. you are short, fat, older or an asian man, you must read this. i think having the talk on this will clear that up and if he still won’t take his profile down, i think that will be the sign that something is really wrong. lots of dates, exchange of christmas gifts, meeting family and a lot of his friends. i want to trust him, and i have… but i found out that he still visits his datig profile regularly.

Why is my boyfriend still on online dating sites

he says he is, yet i’m not so sure at this point. still he kept his profile up as “single” so i did too. fisherexperttom burnseditorvideophoto: pixabay the one big truth men and women need to realize about divorcewe need to change the conversation. > blog > online dating > my boyfriend refuses to take down his online dating profile. it’s just what always happens to me and i really would appreciate it if you would tell me what my next move should be and how this should turn out/how he feels and what he may be thinking. i’d be careful: if he’s now dating another girl and things don’t work out with her, he’s likely to try and come back and make you feel like everything was fine and you were overreacting. i feel like i’m just there and he is still looking for something better and it makes me feel bad. it seems that this was the choice he was making prior to you making an issue of it so i really don’t think your actions need much scrutinizing. have both been under a lot of pressure and stress this past year and i haven’t had the guts to bring it up. don’t know what to do at this point – my friends say just lay low, wait it out, don’t contact him anymore and see what happens – my gut is leading me into the mindset that he found someone else while i was away, or just decided he went too fast and is now backing off way too much. when a day ago he made a point in asking me how it was going on the site. i told him again that it makes me feel as though i can’t trust him if his profile is still visible because that means he is still single. i think you getting your profile down and then asking him where he sees things going is the best thing to do. but revenge wasn’t sweet as he then sent me an email about his lack of self confidence and his poor self image and how it gave him such an ego boost as his mother never loved him blah, blah, blah, blah. then in febuary, i was at home and i needed to use his computer to chek and email. his last email he said he was thankful to me for giving him the kick & the confidence to get back out there. i’d hope that if there was real chemistry, things could work out (cars or not). if you’re two months in and his profile is still up, it’s time to get your profile back up as well. while he’s not being asked to marry or make babies, he is being asked to stop looking to date other women. 3 months in is when i saw he was still logging in……it upset me…. come to find out that she was actually his online girlfriend. he had told me earlier that he wanted to get off the dating site. i asked him if dating or seeing somebody and he replied he is dating here and there and kinda seeing someone but nothing serious. all of our contact – texting/dates, was due to his initiating – i never texted first or asked him out. he strikes me as someone who has a void and emptiness at his core, who needs to experience his value through another’s eyes and will not let caring about someone else get in his way when he’s filling his void. when i saw him last night i casually (on the outside) mentioned when deleting my profile that i’d seen he was still going online. its long distance so we met for the first 2 weeks after talking and the date went perfectly, she even bought me dinner! i so like him that i cannot help but hope he realises what he’s letting go of. am just so scarred to bring my feelings or the site thing up……. – have you tried talking with him about this more aggressively? i’ve met his friends and he’s met my friends and some of my family. i knew it was going to be tough but hey, it was only for a few weeks, and we promised each other that everything would be fine, that he would be fine. i get that i hurt him, and we obviously had some sort of miscommunication about what i ment by needing some time to think. i know he was clearly a player – is it possible he is a reformed player? why would a man want to keep me as his friend after he knows he’s messed up? i hope all guys aren’t like this because it seems like it. he has had it rough…a lot of ups and downs with his ex who has refused to let him see his babygirl. so i made up another profile to see if he would chat and low and behold, he started chatting and added me as his favourite! that is a…"stacy2 on how can i turn drinks into dinner without scaring guys off? there’s no doubt in my mind she is someone i want to date, be part of my life and take it from there and see where im this goes from there. he lied when he told me he hadn’t been with anyone else in a while, which turned out to be about 7 days… and he told his fwb girl that he hadn’t been with me in a really long time – which actually was like 3 days. can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact barb tolerated his sleazy behavior for two straight years – that certainly tells me that she’s got a high threshold for psychological pains. are going along great, he talks about the future alot, i mean making plans and things like that but he still calls me his “friend”. on the other-hand, if everything is fine and he’s just been busy you’ve done no harm and might even kick-start things again. he keeps saying he just gotten out of a relationship & do is not ready.!First off let me say that many men keep their profiles active even though they are interested in the woman they are regularly dating. a few minutes later, his short worded texts suddenly stopped. don’t know, barb, but the picture you’re painting is of a really unfortunate arrangement. you can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here. brown griggsexperttom burnseditorvideophoto: unsplash when you’re really in love, your brain does this (who knew?” i then printed this section out and asked him again if he was cheating on the internet and he looked me straight in the eyes and said: “definitely not”. ive been very patient about the situation because hes so good to me and my daughter he cooks for us every single day, and hes told me that he saw me as wife material and introduced me to a lot of ppl in his family. very sad to see all the comments on here about the hardships that everyone is experiencing. so for the first time, i decided to do some checking, and did a search on his profile username. i got my revenge though and set him up by using a friend’s profile to catch a great big rat (and even though it was me he was writing to he still lied and lied and lied) and i caught him out big time. he had planned romantic trips for the two of us, we were together practically every day, we went on family camping trips, i met his parents several times, he was talking about future stuff with each other. he gave me a key to his place also and told me to stop by whenever. if being online and chatting to other girls was face to face lets say and you met a man in this way. had not been looking at emails that came from his dating site, let along responding to them. i have not confronted my boyfriend about this online dating profile yet. before all this i knew we have a whole lot in common and there was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension plus i really like him. whether he’s just checking until it expires or he renewed after he showed me the cancellation it still means he clearly isn’t that into me. if you’ve read a lot of my advice you’ll know that i do see dating one person at a time as problematic. shellbell – i’m emailing you a response on this (sorry for the delay if you wander back! he claims a friend must have hacked his account as a joke and that he still wants stuff to work. tell him if he’s going to continue posting that he is single and updating his site, that you are too and you are also going to start seeing other people.  he was in frequent contact with exes, making me feel unwanted and disrespected and though he knew how i felt, continued to see them anyways. i feel that it is his way of letting me know that he is not doing anything behind my back and is totally honest. a day or so later i really kind of had a moment where i texted him asking him if things were ok between us because he was being distant. my feelings for him were getting so deep and i wanted to be his gf. i know you make a case for not doing this in your comment but i worry that there is some risk in expecting a man to recognize:The moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally). where he stands may not be where you hope, but he should still know where that is! actually i have some of my toiletries in his bathroom and he’s fine with that. he’ll say he’s taking down his profile and that he’s a changed man.  he’ll tell you that he has health problems and financial problems and problems with his family – and his grandfather might even pass away. i doubt asking him about being friends would scare him off but at the same time you wouldn’t want to repeatedly make him uncomfortable about where you stand so i’d recommend just accepting things as-is for now. i had a dinner date that evening & due to some sudden dramas it didn’t go ahead – i came home & realised i couldn’t find my mobile.” of course, the other women are not aware of his living situation. we both want a faithful and loyal partner, and since his last girlfriend cheated on him constantly while he was deployed to iraq (3 times), he said he really doesn’t have time for games. i find this truth out many many months after dating when she kept walking up into his house and always there when i came over. i don’t want any distractions as i am getting to know him. i’m not saying this is what is happening but i would argue he seems to deserve a little more benefit of the doubt than some of the other guys discussed here. he did & told me his dad’s very ill – he seemed so upset. he was sent to them as a mutual match and it showed that he was online that day within one hour after he had with me in bed the night prior. i told him if i ever considered dating another man i would be honest. he introduced me to some guy as his girlfriend but tells everyone else i am his friend. met him through an online dating site six months ago. i have a question, i have been dating a guy that i was introduced to by my sister. he held my handhe put his arms round me and we had a lovely time once more. it is concerning that he would trying to chat with other women where you met though. i checked, and he’s been online in the past 4 hours. up to receive new blog posts straight to your inbox:What do i do with a boyfriend who lets his daughter exclude me?. when i think back i am surprised to find that each and every time it was i who decided when he should have an opinion about me, i decided when he should take down his profile and actually i decided everything about timing etc based on my instinct and my feelings. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. everything is great so far, we go out for dinner, watched movies, sometimes just stay in his apartment and ordered pizza and cuddle on the couch and watched a movie. if he’s just looking for his ego stroking, he shouldn’t need it right now should he? we’ve had this dang conversation at least 4 or more times! i have checked a few times by searching users on pof and each time i see his profile it says he has been on that day. we were casually talking about something and he slipped something about the site and i asked him: “wait, are u still on the site” he answered that yes he’s still on it but it’s “just there”. i don’t want to tell him i know about the profile because even if he appologises and deletes it. admit the date was perfect but i had bit of committment issue to because i got hurt in the past and due to this i dumped him on the third date but we quickly patched things up. good thing is, it doesn’t sound like you’re approaching this situation in a demanding sort of way.

My boyfriend is still on dating sites

if the two of you have worked out some understanding on a difference between exclusive and girlfriend/boyfriend, isn’t he still headed towards breaking that agreement?  even better if you can somehow convince him that it was his idea to leave (it was my apartment so he would be the one to leave – if it’s his apartment then you can leave at once). i recently met a man i like very much – we met for drinks/appetizers, had a great time, lots of laughter and connection, nice goodnight kiss as well. i have only been seeing this guy for three weeks. i asked why he was online recently, and he said it had to be a mistake, that he must have accidentally pushed a button on his phone that logged him on without him even realizing it. he said that he hadn’t been on that one in months and didn’t even remember the login – even though it said he had been online literally right before i called him. he said ‘no’, he said he had posted those pictures to see if i would notice, and because he was curious to know if i had been online lately, which he saw that i hadn’t.’ve been dating a guy online for a month, and he brought up the idea of being exclusive, to which i agreed., based on his responses to your previous questions, i get the feeling if you were able to prove he was using the services his response is going to be a strong one (and to me it seems like the wrong person is getting angry!’ve also had the experience of having someone i was supposedly in an exclusive relationship with try to “spin” it back on me as a character flaw when i discovered through a friend he was still online. he even offered to show me the “fake” account he was using to help his friend. when we first met he was so into me calling me all day and making his way to see me whenever he had free time. jenn – i actually touch on this issue a bit in my article on when a guy disappears after a few dates. then he will always know that i found out and, the guilt he may feel could jeopardise our relationship. i still believe what i wrote there, i’m finding that many of the women who are contacting me are not at the point where they are sure if the man is their “boyfriend” or not. his response was “that the site is for friends, just like facebook” i said him he has got to be kidding because it is a dating site not a friend site and what would he do when girls want to meet him? i don’t know how it got to this point.  he’s not shopping at a clothes store, hes shopping at an online dating site. strange thing is, while i deleted my profile from the site on which we’d met, he hadn’t and i assumed he’d just cease using it or hide his profile and not renew his subscription but, turns out he has a match membership discovered by my suspicious sister whose brought it to my attention. i also said that i wanted to be there for him and support him, and that what he gets from me is honesty and loyalty, but that i require the same. that’s like saying, “the 0 i spent on my subscription is more important than what i have with you”. i’ve been dating a guy now i met online for almost four months now.  90% of his new female ‘friends’ never got the memo that he was already involved – not just involved but living with someone. if he’s hesitating because he’s concerned about commitment, this approach could scare him off. we hit it off and are still seeing each other. if hes searching for something better which i feel is the case as much as it hurts me im not afraid to be alone.  i was open to discussion of things if he should choose to contact me, but he never did. now the only reason i knew to look and see if he was on there was this gut feeling that i got. i think it’s more likely he still wants attention or that he’s lying (unfortunately).  even if he straightens out with the online dating hell likely show his defiance in other ways – money, career decisions etc. once the “exclusivity” talk came up (from my end): i asked if he was still on that dating site, because i took my profile down about two weeks after we met. i know he got my messages yesterday i messaged him on facebook and it tells you exactly when he read it which was this morning around 8. only problem is that i now trust no-one and everyone i meet on the net is suspect, although now i keep my profile up (even though i do not use it) so at least they know i my profile is still active. what is this new phenomenon, that guys want to live with someone in a loving relationship, but then have this other secret side to them in which they are playahs or users. there’s the possibility of a move for him in the future after his military career ends, and he has asked me to go with him if that possibility becomes a reality – i accepted. then about two months after, i went on the site with my friends user info and searched for him. it’s early may, and we’re spending mothers day with his parents. this could remove some of your problems but it would also be nice for those who are still dating online and trying to find someone interested (and obviously you’re not! it doesn’t matter if there are a hundred other wonderful things, without trust, there is no sustainable foundation. saw texts between him and his hockey buddies about how he wants to f*% everybody and how we was getting that ‘spring time itch’ really bad. if he’s introducing this way to some people but that way to other people, i think you have a right to know where you stand. and i don’t care how innocent it might be, it still hurts. his status updating from:“interested in meeting women for dates”. am his first relationship since a divorce from a 16 year marriage from a woman who had cheated on him. in my mind the matter is so simply about respect and i find it difficult to understand how to tolerate the ‘continues to actively online date’ thing…. there is no shame in publicly searching as a guest when he has or she has already lied or had been interested in emails and winks from people on there once exclusive. i got another funny feeling one day, agian while waiting for his text. he texts me the other day and says he it on pof just out of pure boredom and then tells me he misses me and wishes he could see me. saw each other every weekend and we would stay the night at each others house…i trusted this guy, he made me feel loved by his actions.  so it is perfectly normal to not be commited in the first month you date someone. none of this one foot in the bed and the other on the floor while exploring options. his parents are apparently reaaaaaaaally keen on this idea and so are hers. may (2014) he got an out of the blue text from his ex (fwb girl), saying he should come to a party she is having in june. also, ladies, exclusivity is a trap for women and a benefit to men. he claimed a guy he worked with asked him to check out and see if his wife was messing around. across the country, today is the first day i haven’t heard from him at all, even though i’ve made several attempts. the 2nd time i had a little too many and it got a little too late and we ended up going back to his place and well you can guess what happened.” so obviously, i creeped today and you can see (even if you’re not a member with a profile) if a username of a profile exists. and this was the first time in my life that i had actually dated a variety of men at the same time.? and do u think he is using me for sex ? is not too much to ask that a man put other girls aside for the moment but sometimes it’s important that you explicitly ask it! i wonder if her tolerance of it is fear of being alone, esp. i took mine down right away and i just figured he always had his up. we are both very well established and pleasing to the eye. friend of mine said that he is a pisces and thats just the way they are. i did bring up exclusivity but he said isn’t it too early? there was all these messages from the dating website that we meet on. he has written a free online dating guide to help others find success with online dating. for the last few months this has been by far the question i’ve received most often from readers. we started off as being friends with each other and now started dating but he never mentioned about being exclusively but when i check the dating site each day he seems to be on it very often as i am very confused as to why when he informed me that he is my boyfriend and still looking for someone else.  what we should all be looking for in our so, above almost all else, is sterling character. and then he’ll go back to online dating, which is what he’s been doing for 2 years.’m definitely not defending what he did (i disagree with it and think it was wrong of him to do so) but you did get a much better response than many women: he removed the profile quickly and i think he was a lot more honest than most guys in admitting that creating it made him feel better. and then i saw that he actually had been online in the last 3 or so days. on the other hand i don’t want to continue to put a lot of time and effort into this relationship if she’s looking for something else as i don’t want to be the fallback guy either…. i am sorry i know it is painful to hear . towards the beginning, we decided to go withthe flow and see where this relationship would go. he said his data on his phone wouldn’t work (i think he meant he didn’t want to risk paying for the roaming), but he would text me whenever he would get a chance. i’m really freaked out about commitment – i love this guy and have a relationship with him like no other, he accepts everything about me, he adores me, is kind, gentle and makes it his daily goal to do things that make me happy. he has a void and emptiness at his centre and operates from an overwhelming need to fill that void. well i found out he is now with a seperated lady he met online. met a guy on a dating website about 3 weeks ago, and ever since then (tons of long emails back and forth), we’ve been really attached.’ i had so many answers to that question like if he liked me as much as he said would he still be looking at other girls, or how do i know he’s not talking to others? if you’ve been on one or two dates and your guy still has his profile up, you have nothing to worry about.  he’ll tell you that you should be more emotionally supportive of him while he goes through these difficulties and that you’re causing himself and yourself stress by worrying about all of this. as a matter of fact, making an issue of things at this point could create a problem when no problem previously existed. he starting to show signs that he is interested in me and i am meeting his friends already and its been 2 weeks of dating. so, if this is the case, why would his profile still be up? because we live on different hawaiian islands, we didn’t meet in person until about a month after emailing and talking. in your case, he asked you to be his girlfriend…he needs to cut out the unnecessary continuation of online dating now. i try and not let these things effect me but of course they do from time to time, my friends are always telling me i need someone who is going to be there for me…a superman…and yes this guy has understood things, told me i could talk to him, however recently their was another family episode and my guy wanted “a break” ok. in your case it sounds like he’s keeping it online (for whatever reason) but he’s also lying to you about it. i admit this to be a gross generalization but one that is also true. i know you care for him and i know that it hurts, i’m just afraid that he’s establishing a pattern where he’s showing that he’s going to continue to hurt you throughout your relationship. i once again bring it up because i’m hurt and he proceeds to say he honestly thought it was nothing and had deleted the app and proceeded to even cancel his subscription in front of me. – this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me. if i try to ride it out, what is a good amount of time to see if he takes it down? she says he’s on it regularly and this evening while he’s texting me on the phone, she calls and says, “he’s online at match right now”. so it concerns me when i found out that his profile is still up and he goes online like pretty much everyday. so i went into my whatsapp (that’s how we communicate) and checked when my messages to him were actually read (i normally don’t pay attention to this), and it came out that he seemed to have been online at times when he told me that he didn’t have wifi on his phone. far as barb is concerned – just walk and never never look back. anyone captured by his spell will find themselves in a spin, doubting themselves and wondering where their sense of reality went. How to act when you first start dating a guy

My boyfriend still online dating site

few days later i log back onto the online chat room we met on seven moneths ago, i made a new profile and he was online…………. and i hope it goes without saying that when you enter a relationship where you both are only interested in each other, at that point the multiple dating would stop! its a similar situation to the above scenarios – he really has his act together and has made it very clear that he is sure that he wants me in his life (so he doesn’t say anything like “i’m not sure” or “i can’t commit”). have been seeing a man i met online for almost a year now. when he says he’ll take it down when the time is “right”…well, if you’re dating someone and you keep telling her you’re not going to date anyone else then the right time is now! he can never get enough of using empathy in a twisted form to feel and see himself through someone else’s eyes. a couple of weeks went by and he still hadn’t taken it down. i met him online, soon after romeo proclaimed adoration and love for me he “deactivated” his account as he said he is % sure i was the one his been looking for. he visited me one weekend (stayed in a hotel), i visited him the following weekend (stayed with him), two weekends pass and he came to visit me again this past weekend. have the same story as above, i started dating this guy a month ago. he was dating and sleeping w/ tons of women – that doesn’t really concern me too much, as i can’t say i wasn’t doing a little of the same, and we had not declared exclusivity at that point. he is 53, but i am here to tell you 53 can be pretty damn impressive. is staying active on a dating site after you’re supposed to be in monogamous relationship ‘sending mixed messages’? has his ego been hurt that i was online when he had removed the earlier account? doesnt seem like he is committing to the relationship or caring about my feeling the past few days. all this from a woman who a year before had equated dating with despair, rejection and pain. both accounts are still “active” technically, but there hasn’t been any activity on either. you had left a comment in another post saying that he expressed surprise when you told him you only date one person at a time, so i think he is coming at the relationship from a different starting point. notion that men are afraid to commit while women are not isn’t true. a month is enough time to decide if you want to pursue a relationship further. all of this hits you, barb, you will ask him to leave – i asked him to leave – i asked him to leave several times. it’s especially bothersome if his actions suggest exclusivity even if he hasn’t declared so in words…and yet it is still acceptable in my mind for him to keep his profile up, even in this case. curiousity always killed the cat and i checked to see if he was still active a couple weeks ago and he was. is now going away on his own for the next week or so but when he is back i shall ask to see him. that said, she is regularly active on match and i’m a bit concerned putting myself out there with her she may not be ready more given the whole cheating matter she had to deal with. these actions tel me that he likes me and is trying to have a serious relationship with me. this point i don’t want to even mention to him that i’m aware he’s quite active, especially on match which my sister says allows for various forms of communication with people unlike the site i’d met him on, where his original profile remains active. i have met his family, he has met mine and i have come to love his 2 children ages 6 & 9. you two have ongoing sex in any form , have respect for yourself as well as her and anyone else you are whispering to in bed – and either become exclusive if its going well or let her find a man who knows her worth and would like to share life with her. is not a river in egypt and you can do a non member search to check if he or she has lied to you before. i need a break from online dating so i’ve hidden my profile. Jean: 'I just found my serious boyfriend's active online dating profiles. we had a look and he has changed his profile to looking for women for friends. i reminded him how his friend spied on me – he now says it wasn’t his friend but he himself. second, the idea that he can’t delete his profile because he only logs on from his phone is silly…it take 30 seconds on a computer to remove it. i think you should (once again) talk to him about making girlfriend/boyfriend official? i asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (some of whom met my friends online and some who are or have dated online in the past) they all confirmed clearly that if the guy dosn’t remove his profile voluntarily following the moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even ‘by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally) then it is clear he is not entirely certain about you or he is not entirely ready to committ to a relationship. he told me that he would like us to be in a relationship, but because we were approaching his busiest time of the year at work, that he would like to wait until things calmed down a bit…he said 2 of his serious relationships ended over it in the past. he’s all over the shop & i can’t handle this roller coaster. six weeks ago i met a guy from an online dating site. is the thing… when we met online, he stated that he wanted long term, his “last best friend “, or something along those lines. evan, having the experience you do with online dating, i was wondering what you think about some of the psychology of online dating. sure, there is a degree of romance in having the guy take down the profile on his own. my ‘dating’ experience had been extremely limited, despite being married and divorced twice. that for the first time since his divorce, he is ready for a full on commitment, and that it just took him a really long time to get there. reading barb’s post i get the sense that her boyfriend is a reasonably attractive guy who does pretty well with the ladies. i brought it up with him, as i couldn’t pretend i hadn’t seen his profile. i’m having doubts if he’s still interested but i view his page anonymously and he hasn’t been active for 2 weeks and also removed his pictures. yesterday morning i checked again and it said ‘online now’ to say i felt sick was an understatement but i didn’t want to go wading in and accuse him when i didn’t know the story. i am still not sure how to handle the situation.. and then back to the sex thing he thinks he was going to get some from me but i told him not till “the break is over and the sites are deleted” (this is all texting btw) and he goes “you’re demanding stuff because you said were not going to have sex till i delete match”…ummm duh… i said yes and i have a good point to, that don’t you think? i did confront him to discuss it but now i realise i did so – not to understand him – but only with a view to declaring that he had failed, that i don’t ‘share’ and therefore we couldn’t continue in this state. the first step in determining what to do in an emergency situation is determining if it really is an emergency situation. met a guy online we hit it off really great. he can get you a hotel room and take you on a road trip but logging into a website and removing his profile is beyond his time and resources?  you’re still getting to know a person – and you don’t know if he/she will interest you or you will interest them past a date or two. if he can’t bring himself to take his profile down no matter how much you talk about it, i think you need to consider keeping your options open as well. maybe once you know where he stands, it will make it easier for you to make a decision? again 🙂 just clarifying that the part i wrote about him telling his buddy he ‘sort of has a girlfriend’ and that ‘he is trying to behave’, was over a year ago – that conversation did not happen 4 months ago, i got my dates wrong…too much confusion, right! he is introducing me to his dad (who lives out of state but is coming to visit) next week, so thats kind of a big deal but yet he is still doing this…help please! he asked me to come to his area next time and i just nodded. i would just be concerned that this type of game could continue for years. the time august 2014 (now one year of dating), he was spending every night at my house, we practically lived together, even though he still had his own home. seems he wants me on his terms but doesn’t want anyone else having me. we met later that day and he told me his friend had informed him earlier in the week that i’d been on it a bit and he was shocked and angry and that’s why he used this other profile. he promised again he would delete it as soon as he can get back on and he promised i would never have to go through something like that again. question – does his profile say he is single and looking for love? he is affectionate and kind, all the traits i was looking for. i cut him a bit of slack as i was the first person he’d dated since losing his wife, and although i thought it was rather immature of him to be voraciously logging on to dating sites once we’d started sleeping together, i let him get on with it and didn’t really worry about it too much. he’s mentioned having a vested interest in me, has talked about future (unplanned) visits, we text daily and talk almost every night., as with other situations discussed here, i think it’s totally reasonable to expect real commitment at a certain point and it sounds like you’ve reached that based on what you describe. he acts very much like a boyfriend but wait a minute he refuses to acknowledge the gf/ bf thing. i apologised for my amnesia and told him i’d be hanging out with a friend at a pub after work and if he dropped by i could get him a drink to make up. then, he has been trying to sleep with my with no strings attached and even today he told me he misses me and wants me, but still sees people that he met on the site, but i am the only one he really likes… sure…. at this point, assuming you’re right, i’m not sure what other options you have. abruptly changed his mind because he suddenly “didn’t feel it” with me, i had a sneaking suspicion something. do wonder, how would he react if you had an active dating profile online? so it’s been three weeks now since we agreed to be exclusive but he still have his profile up and checking it. he said that it was everything about me that turned his heart around and brought out the person he used to be a long time ago, and that he absolutely did not want to lose me. he told me he would try to meet me somewhere if he could get some stuff done for work and some family things, he told me to txt him in an hour or so and see where he was at with being finished. about a month into dating, i knew i really liked him and wanted to see where it was going to go. im not sure what site i met him on or if he is even on a dating site now. he said that when he’s feeling down he can’t go to the doctors, as it will go on his medical records that he is depressed, which will affect the court case currently happening with his daughter. he said we are not dating but we couldn’t establish any status quo. in my heart i feel that when a person man/woman is in a serious relationship on line dating sites should be out. actually, he kind of chased me online for a week before i gave in and talked to him. of course, you should only do this if you could be comfortable with it. met this guy online and we exchanged numbers and texted each other 2x a week for a month. situation is a little bit different, so i don’t know if it fits this category…i’ve been doing the online thing for just about 3 months now, and have met some nice and not so nice men. initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. his only real response to all of this is that he is a different person now than he was then. he mentioned twice that nobody comes to his apartment but me. ‘dated’ a few guys when i decided to try the online forum. i was getting player’ vibes from him by this time. i still think that’s a fine thing to do but more recently i’ve found myself encouraging women to be a bit more pro-active or aggressive (whereas changing your photo is rather passive-aggressive). would then suggest that if things are still going well between the two of you in a few weeks that you let him know that you would like to be girlfriend/boyfriend and see what his response is. i asked him if things were still good because i really wanted things to work out between us. he always tells me that he has a great time with me and i’m his favorite person, but that he never dated much when he was younger and thinks he owes it to himself to date around now. what he did is not right and you did not deserve to be hurt like that. have been involved with two men who still had their profile up and conversed with other women rather beyond the time i thought they should have taken it down. am thinking of giving him a few weeks and see what happens but at the same time i am concerned as well and confused as to why his profile is still active and he often logs on.  from this i can make an informed decision as my situation mirrors barbs, plus lots of other nasty stuff. Articles on the pros and cons of online dating

My boyfriend is still on a dating site

anyway, i wasn’t worried about the profile as we were only a few weeks into dating so i had just forgotten about it. since we see each other daily (he gets mad if we don’t) i just don’t know how to deal with this anymore and its taking its toll on me. said he is only seeing me and i shouldn’t worry…but…should i? which btw still says “singe” and “actively seeking a relationship”. to play devils advocate: let’s imagine he totally forgot about this profile. thing is in the begining he was referring to our future hopefully it would lead toi marriage and refferred me as his wife, love etc. i wish you the best of luck – whether he changes his mind or not! he’s military, so his schedule is pretty screwy, but since my work schedule is easily manipulated, he proposed that i get it to match it as closely to his as possible so we have the same days off. do with online dating site, so…what had this punk done? he goes online every day brad yesterday he was online in the morning and in the evening. i reacted instantly – saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results (i was talking of myself) and of course a few other choice words…….  he is 60, living with his girlfriend, and showing a lack of respect. you do not know after a month of seeing someone if you would like to eliminate the rest to give her a fair shake, recognize that there is something that is not resonating for you and the best course of action is to be direct and tell her. i think for now, you might want to hide your profile in the off chance that he’s keeping his profile up because he still sees yours is up. i dont know…is that something that can even work? seems really into me, seems genuinely happy to hang out with me and to really want to hang out but we haven’t had the exclusivity talk and i am honestly not going to go down that road and fish for information for another 2-4 weeks. she needs help seeing it for herself and making sense of what her gut is reacting to so her self-esteem can show its true colours and give the bf the boot. the same is happeningto me again so maybe next time i will try meeting someone who doesn’t have a computer as i am rapidly losing faith in meeting someone who is honest and loyal and can commit to one person. the thing is he goes on his match account every day. i don’t wanna pressure him, as i want him to make the choice on his own, but it’s still so annoying that he lied, twice actually. also, speaking as someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone all that much, i think avoiding phone calls in itself probably isn’t a red flag if he actively communicates with you in other ways. long story short, we ended up in a triangle with a woman in france who was totally oblivious of his game. so i took a week to decide if this was someone i really wanted to be in a relationship with because we both have kids, and i wanted to make sure that if i commited i am doing so with the intent that i will stick around for awhile knowing we will start to integrate with the children. i confronted him about it and said that it bothers me that you still have your profile up on match. i didn’t realize that by cancelling an account it just meant that your subscription wouldn’t renew, not that your profile wasn’t still active. i made it clear that i was not looking to settle down, but did want to continue dating him to see where it could lead, but could only do it if neither of us were going to continue to see other people. i think in many of the cases listed here, if the woman waited for the guy to make a commitment…well, it might never happen! a company that lets its ceo cook the books and embezzle from them because he’s a smart, charismatic guy. i had asked him about this issue a few times and each time he just informs me that he is not cheating on me or dating anyone else. i generally do believe he does like me but he is just either not wanting to be hurt again so taking these easy or he is seeing other women. is now day 3 i havent heard from him at all today. he said his profile was up but that he hadn’t been checking it and he hadn’t found time to take it down., you’ll probably want to check out my previous advice on this topic. a married man let me tell you even after years and years with a woman i love, i still rarely know what’s going on in her head. maybe you should join all those dating sites just to piss him off! today morning his picture is public again and he’s been online every hour 🙁 i have deactivated my account since i don’t want to bother with it. he did, when we spoke i said i was upset, i just seen his profile and how it changed and we were literlally with each other hours ago. jean : how soon is too soon to fly across the world for a relationship ? he is in the army and when we first met he only had a couple days before he went to do a month worth of training. jean: is it inappropriate to pick up guys while volunteering? i think these are all good things and he did give me a heads up well in advance and still wants to meet. he asked me if he should take his profile down? i have some serious trust issues from being cheated on in past relationships, but i’m trying not to let that cloud my judgement. – it sounds like the confusing areas in your relationship might go beyond just the dating profile.?If you want someone committed to you, this doesn’t sound like the guy. will try to keep this to the point and as brief as possible which may prove to be difficult since i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. we chat/txt evey day without fail, he has been to my house few times now but i’ve never been to his. once they have one woman, they quickly start seeking others for more narcissistic supply. it will feel like, when challenged, he will twist the truth to spin any perception of him to a positive light. was noticing a few things even when i’d be around his neck of the woods and invite him to join me and my friends he wouldn’t. if the company knows and doesn’t fire him, whose fault is it that the behavior continues? would you be hurt if she did this to you and slyly hooked up with another guy?’m gonna see how it goes over the next month, if he’s still going on then he doesn’t care about my feelings and i’d prefer to be someone’s one and only, not their until something better comes along! he changed the city to the town he used to live in, shrunk his height by 2 inches, and hasn’t put up a picture. that text he sent to me by mistake screams that messing up with me bothers him. it is hard for me to see him everyday cause of my busy schedule and i always work on weekends. have had a 5-6 really great dates, chemistry off the charts, met his daughter, spent a weekend with him.  and by the way, this behavior just transfers to other areas of life.?Now it’s been 4 months and i wanted to see if he’s being true to his promises and i decided to check. this means no going against his grain or his rules. way i see it, the difference between the narcissist and the sociopath hinges around the function of empathy in the person. he had deactivated ,blocked me and deleted his old account so that it had looked to me he was offline yet had reopened a new one!. he has gone from asking me to move in to changing his mind. even after all this thinking and reading: i still don’t understand entirely. i asked him on sunday and he said he was in there cleaning up his inbox before deleting.  the moment i walked was when another lightbulb went off and i concluded that he was the one causing all of us the stress – that if he was really torn up about his grandfather dying and everythign else happening in his life and if he really needed me not to rock the boat then he should be running around with other women – i separated my sympathy for him from the fact that i didn’t deserve to have to deal with s— like that. early in a relationship the narcissist thrives on the positive feedback of young love so there is no conflict with caring for the other person. recently, another woman is doing the same thing on his facebook and it makes me wonder if he’s doing the same thing to me yet again. i just assume that if someone really likes you, then they would delete their online profile right away and they wouldn’t be so afraid of commitment. he asked for my msn and said he is getting on with me shockingly well………. i know he checked his email and eventually he did look at the profile, but he did not take the bait and respond back. after reading many of these stories i have somewhat of an undertstanding that this is not uncommon. i don’t know if he’s been online or not but should i be worried? people change – but i don’t want to be a fool about this. we see each other about once a week due to work and we both have kids, he has his when mine is gone to his dads. i deactivated my pof online dating acount 2 weeks ago as soon as we discussed that we were dating.! this happened to me after being in an exclusive relationship for 14 months. he has continually helped me out, he surprises me with gifts along the way. do think that approaching this with caution is a good idea…you don’t want to come off as if you’re obsessing. i was not satisfied with his anwser so i kept a close eye on things.(and if he did take it down…would you find yourself wondering what other ways he is trying to meet other women? i met my boyfriend on an online dating website years ago. unfortunately, the dsm iv is a product of the movement over the last 30 years or so for psychology, as a science, to become more “objective” and less intuitive, so the criteria describe the outwards signs of these disorders without providing any insight into what’s really going on inside the box. it has been another 2 weeks after that conversation and his profile is still active. brought it up and he told me that he thinks there is someone else better out there for his “lifestyle. he said no, and when i asked if he is talking to other women too, he also denied and said i don’t need to worry because we are good, we are having a great time and that he is being honest. are you ok that you may hurt both of you because opportunities come easier and in catalogue style online? let’s just say that hypothetically speaking another attractive women sent him a message to his profile. his response actually makes me wonder if he even realizes that he could hide his profile. until the conversation happens, i would say it is fair for a guy to keep his profile up. went through this with my now ex bf i met in july 2011 from match. can a sexy woman like me show men online i’m not up for a one night stand? i once heard a comedian say, the reason people marry another is because subconsciouly they think ” she/he is the best i can do for where i am in my life or for my leage” when i heard it, it was a funny but it definitely has some truth to it. i realize every situation i’ve read is similar but i also know the answers will differ i appreciate any insight you can offer.’ve been talking with a man i met on a dating site for a couple of months now. if you see that he’s active all the time, you could send him an email from your dating account to his and ask him why he’s so active on the site. i know he likes me cause his actions shows it., often online dating doesn’t match the real world and i think that in some cases waiting for the commitment/respect to happen naturally is going to be a frustrating experience. i understand his schedule because of his work demands as a nurse, but there’s this feeling inside me that makes me feel a bit sad and worried because it’s been almost a week since he last called me. seems to me like the guy is sending a message so clear that only the op could miss it.’m not sure i follow cathy – did you meet him a long time ago on a dating site but now he’s forgotten? you brad we had a talk and it turns out he doesnt go on it and didn’t realise he had left it, he didnt think it was an issue.

Boyfriend is still on dating sites

he says he doesn’t want to rush things and does not just want to date anyone, he is dating to find someone to marry and wants to be sure. wonder what he’ll think when he sees his fiance’s new profile there. he did and had no problem giving me his number! finally bothered me so much that his profile was still active that i asked him about it. soon after he tells me his parents want him to start thinking about seeing a family friend’s daughter from the same background as them.?Any suggestions on how to deal with this now am i just wasting my time and just move on?!Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it? however, if you go another month without any change, i think you might want to keep your options a bit more open as well (and be sure to let her know this in a gentle way as she’s going to be sensitive to feeling like she’s being lied to). i have told my parents and he has claimed that he’s told his as well. this required him to travel like 3 hours to visit me where i was at that time…. when he see’s you online actively searching, he’ll be the one to broach up the subject and only then you both can reach a reasonable compromise about the issue. said ok, that i would hang in there, but i asked him to please be straight up with me the second he doesn’t feel like this will go anywhere and he promised he would. a healthy normal relationship should consists of time together and time apart.! this after he tells me he’s the luckiest man to have a great catch like me. if she is the same age demographic as her bf. she is now mad at me because she thinks i want to date other people and i am just like the other guys that hurt her. during that weekend we spent a lot of time walking around in the town where he lives, we had lunch and dinner in one of his favorite restaurants, and generally had a great time. have said to him that if he likes, he can continue dating but he needs to tell me, so that i can do the same. know this has become a long message, but i really hope you find the time to reply. do not trust online dating anymore too many bad experiences and too many shady characters. she is now mad at me because she thinks i want to date other people and i am just like the other guys that hurt her. he even introduced me as his fiancee once, and all his friends know about me. her questions are an attempt to seek help understand his behaviour so she can make a decision. i wasn’t invited last year either (because it was at his ex’s home). comment, “i wish my brain would just stop” reminds me of advice my dad gave me when i was growing up: often the best way to get over someone is to find a new someone. he know it bothered me the first day he “forgot his phone” so why would he keep doing it unless he was purposefully ignoring me possibly? that might seem like semantics but i can see where a guy is coming from if he felt like it was commitment. i don’t think you should feel stuck though – obviously this is a relationship you should work on getting away from (but i understand your concern given his response). but i never made it past 2 months with anyone because each and every time the guy would continue with an active profile i would feel disrespected, lose trust and belief in the guy’s intentions and force a swift ending one way or another. this article has been very helpful but i want something a little bit more specific. i…"kk on what do i do with a boyfriend who lets his daughter exclude me? if you can share your body through sexual contact (which is clearly intimate contact), then you should be comfortable enough to have the talk about expectations. i am a relationship girl – cannot do this casual/fwb stuff! if he really cares about you, being open and honest like this shouldn’t bother him. but the whole point of dating – for most of us, anyway – is to find one person that makes you want to quit altogether. that in mind i wanted to review one of the recent emails i’ve received from a reader and offer some additional advice for this problem. i told him i was hesitant to live together as that felt very committed and serious, and i didn’t actually know for sure what his intentions were with me. finally i asked him if he has talked to anyone on the site, and that’s when he got really angry that i don’t trust him. he’s already proven to be the worst kind of selfish, insensitive prick who can’t be trusted with slippery concepts such as “monogamy”."sonja said, "my boyfriend of 18 months has his 12-yr-old daughter’s birthday this weekend. if any of this sounds familiar, you need to take a serious and objective look at who you boyfriend is. basically i met this guy on a marriage website and we got to know each other of the basic stuff. hmm…i don’t think you should be looking for a way to blame yourself for his actions. one thing you shouldn’t do is verbally attack the guy or start throwing out ultimatums. know other men who do this sort of thing, i am no stalker, just keeping my heart in check here. man who is openly defying his two-year girlfriend to stay active on match. we are 4 months into the relationship and he still says he’s scared of commitment. think that many guys who use internet dating think of it as a “smorgesbord” and feel that it is their right to taste everything on offer! i asked if there was anything missing from our relationship as that would be the only reason why i would go on a site. he’s spoken a lot about his parents and himself and his friends and his work. i kept refreshing the search everyday i don’t know why and then last friday morning i was shocked when i saw that not only had he been online but he had uploaded his picture. i now realise that i never actually asked outright for any of them to take down their profile to be with me exclusively. i think it would be better to try to stay away from him at this point…he’s lied enough that it will be hard to tell if or when he starts telling the truth! so i texted him jokingly that then whatsapp must be messing with me, because it says he was last online last night around 9pm. i found he was still on there, not just on there, but online now and he had added a new picture with a shirt that i got for him for christmas. it proved to me this is someone i really want to be exclusive with. it’s not far fetched to wonder about the self-esteem of a lady who tolerates this from a live-in boyfriend who is also a senior citizen.. i ask for a proper goodbye and he hugs me and hesitates to kiss me……. questions to you are these, one thing that sort of bothers me is that we are exclusive, however he only hid his profile. i still had my profile up and so did he. also said she wasn’t one for dating sites ( no sense) and if a guy was to try and talk to her she would say she was dating someone. have been on 5 dates with a guy who i met online, i really like him & feel like we have a good connection, but he has not yet mentioned exclusivity & deleting our profiles. my problem is when i date i can only focus on 1 guy and 1 guy only. there was more to the text that told me his close friends were there at the pub with him. so, after two months and three weekend-long visits/dates, but knowing that he is slow to commit, when is a reasonable time to have “the talk”?  he told me “do not contact me about this issue again today. the other day i did have to make a little remark where i said, you know…i know you arent in this for the long hall, (i only said this because when he told me he loved me, he also said…”this doesnt mean i necessarily feel i want to spent the rest of my life with you…wtf?’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months but he continues to be active on dating sites. i also told him that we agreed to be exclusive and that having an active profile tells other women that he is still single and it is disrespectful and unacceptable to me. however, i do worry that the next time he tries dating someone else he might find himself interested in her and then you’ll find yourself alone. that said, i do agree that in many cases respect is also playing a large role. i am only asking – in these early stages – for respect enough to put all the other girls aside for a moment… is that really too much to ask? 5 days later – screen shots proved he had just been online and active. you just never know but i have given up on online dating. we havent spoken properly about this as this was late last night and when i rang i woke him.  anyone who says they are there to find friends is trying to justify remaining on the site. it took me many years to finally pull the pin and absolutely know that no matter how good the good times are- there is no real commitment or consistency. it does make it harder him living in london and myself in suffolk as we don’t have what i would call a normal dating relationship which does make it harder. after 6 weeks of talking non stop via text, a few phones calls a week, and seeing each other no less than once a week i brought up the “where is this going” talk…. i brought up the online thing & he said he was emailing 2 girls – ‘nothing interesting’. i confronted him about it and told him how much it confused me and hurt me, since i thought we were still good, and that he wanted things to work out. we have yet to have a real exclusivity talk and have not talked about our dating profiles. it takes is one act of unprotected or oral sex and a habitual liar with high risk behavior to expose you to a lifetime of emotional and physical problems. instead i think if there is no mention from him after 6 week i would find it easier to just ignore him & move on to dating over guys. he has told me about some of them and still hears from many of them. that being said, i’d still be cautious – it takes 5 minutes to take your profile down so his excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. i was able to get a hold of his phone last week and saw that he had the dating site application on it. i felt uncomfortable with that but only became seriously concerned when i was told i could not meet the woman because she didn’t want to meet any of his girlfriends. ultimately he said he thinks we need a break for a week or two – that things were getting messy & the last thing he wanted is to hurt me. we still caught up on sunday evening and it was lovely. have read that many complaints from match is the status option is flawed and can be triggered from simply receiving and deleting a email from match in your personal account. low and behold, he had been online sometime in the last week, and had added new pictures. i’d suggest you suggest to him that you meet out his way – if he responds positively and wants to meet, things are probably fine. the fact that he changed his profile means that he still uses the site. he kept his profile online and then during a period where he was busy he removed the profile. each time i saw/found out my guy went online after going out with me for a while i felt sick, duped, confused about where i stand, no longer confident about how he felt about me or what i thought the relationship was, suddently totally insecure and worst of all foolish…., if you let your account expire and can prove that to her, that means you can’t read or reply to any communication so there’s really no risk of your profile being there. he goes to this site and changes his status without thinking about his profile text and logs out.  i suggest you stop having your girlfriend online-stalk him and ask him directly what the appeal of browsing profiles and emailing these women is. you can’t bring yourself to be more aggressive about the situation in person, one thing you could try is to also create a profile on the site (if he’s using a free one)., and by the way, don’t ask him to take his profile down. thing about the advice above is that someone women will want to start this process immediately after the first date.

My girlfriend is still on dating site

it i looked to see if his profile was still active and it said ‘online today’. to the main thread…barb’s bf sounds more like a narcissist than a sociopath. but he didn’t pay for my lunch just gave me the change for his coffee. was dating a girl pretty regularly, seems like it was a fwb situation, but they both clearly felt more for each other and wanted more, but couldn’t seem to make the situation work for their lives at that point yet. i know its him because of the wording he used and the things he is looking for. i love him so much but it seems that he keeps making these promises that mean nothing. i think doing this can be beneficial because a) you might find a great guy who does want to commit or b) he might realize how much it sucks to have the person you’re dating to be open to dating other people. and no a guy views dating so differently to us that it can only be expected that removing his profile is repeatedly a delayed occurrence. without a core self, there is no core self-value so the narcissist consumes the value of himself that he feels empathically through other people’s eyes. i noticed that he was not his normal self around me., i thought i was the only one in this situation. i met my boyfriend (i think) on plenty of fish in july and we’ve been hanging out, having fun since. if that is the case, how long to you tolerate such lack of respect for you, for the investment you are making of your heart and your life? so based on my observation i am assuming that he was checking his profile for a minute or two then logged out. i thought wow he really is an honest guy, what a catch! i told him i didn’t understand this plan since we had not talked yet. we met online mid june and became sexua lly active early august. where has all the trust gone, now i feel he’s been doing this the entire length of our relationship? this morning i decided to reciprocate the photo txt, and i sent him one (nothing i would be ashamed of though if someone else saw), and i sent a message along with it that said good morning 😉 it’s been a good 20 minutes since i’ve sent it, and in another 15 i know he’ll be at work and therefore wont text me. met my current boyfriend online a couple months ago, he kept mentioning thing about me being his girlfriend so 2 weeks ago i asked if we were together and he said yes. during those 6+ years, i focused on raising my two sons, building my career, healing and finding myself and my own happiness. he kissed me and looked at me for a second and said, “hell no!, as i’m getting this question more and more often, i’m hoping the details i’ve included here can help you reach the point where he realizes there is no reason for him to keep his profile active any longer. have been dating this guy i met on okcupid for a few months now. i messaged a guy on a dating site and we texted for weeks before finally meeting up. i only work 5-6 hour days, and then i was back to staying at my place but we were still constantly seeing each other. then even though my fake profile kept telling him i wasn’t interested he kept asking telling me i (real me) was ok with this since he’d been ‘honest’ with me. ever since then i can’t think about anything else and i still feel sick to the very core, i just want to know why he would do this! don’t we all deserve to be with someone who is caring and genuine when it comes to how they treat us? how am i supposed to trust him when he makes empty promises? erica – i’m honestly not sure how you could get him off the sites barring getting more aggressive with him about it. i confronted him about it, we broke up, and then he came crawling back to me 2 weeks later and deleted his okcupid profile. the most part, this does raise eyebrows for a few reasons. we know how old the op is relative to her fella? you get this creepy feeling after awhile, all guys are like your significant jerk. my thoughts are… this guy i am talking to and “having fun” with i will continue to do just that and will never tell him to take his profile down. i like to stay chill, but it’s hard when the person i deeply like and have put a lot of time into isn’t willing to sacrifice his current dating life while i am. have been dating this guy i met from online for about 3 months now, everything was amazing in the beginning. after the first date their was no question weather or not if i wanted to see him again, hope to be his gf and etc. we still text once a week and i usually text first or he does if i don’t. so this was just the tactic he needed to reel me in hook line and sinker! the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account.” just so i could see when he’s online (not to get a response. it will feel like he can lavish attention and gifts but can’t really connect from the heart.  finding friends can be a side benefit to pursuing people to date, but it is not why people are there, if they are being honest. i check his page (because it’s viewable to the public) and he’s made several modifications today. this whole situation sounds to me like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. about three months into dating, i knew i was starting to fall in love with him and i was bothered that his profile was still active, he would be on at least every other day. evan, while i agree with your assessment of the boyfriend and the ultimate outcome of barb’s situation, i disagree with your assessment of barb and her self-esteem. i also feel really guilty for the snooping online i can’t believe i have resorted to this i’m ashamed 🙁. i know he was aware that i disabled my profile because he can check it.?Recently, i started dating a man i began to realise i really really liked. nevertheless, i was shocked and disappointed when he told me one morning that he had been on a date. i dont know, but the last time i tried to have an indepth discussion about something with him he said i was “pushing” him and we broke up for 2 weeks. but again, maybe i misunderstand what exclusive means in this case. is simply no viable, reasonable, acceptable response he can make – even if, somehow, he has not met any new women since “committing” to you.  since self-confidence comes from our confidence in our ability to feed our needs, the narcissist’s confidence is based on his ability to manipulate the perceptions of those around him to fill his inner void. i also took more time to look at his profile than i originally did the last time, and i noticed that at some point he uploaded a recent picture that he actually just posted to facebook back in april. continued seeing each other and finally i just told him that i had made it clear in my profile that i was seeking a long term relationship and that he had indicated that in his profile as well. part of me thinks it just his response to getting caught but i’m really in no place to judge him. are you ok with easier opportunities via online dating while shagging her? on one hand i am his emotional outlet person but he won’t commit. i was dating one for some 9 months, and it was his charm and positive behaviour that drew me in until i started to receive  confusing messages that had me doubting myself. he asked me a month into the relationship to be his girlfirend ive met his family and friends. – i do like your friends advice to continue dating others. i would also like to include in here that she has sent him text messages from her phone, and is talking about setting up a date with him. i can see why some people might not like their friends reporting on this sort of thing regularly…but if you’re close, she would probably appreciate it. at the end of the day, i think everyone needs to make decisions that they feel are best for their own situation. she is trying to raise awareness and make sense of things. he brought up my fake profile but i told him i did ‘t want to talk a put it cos i am still hurting. i am aware that there is a 30 minutes lag off in okc, like you will still appear online even though you already logged out. i stopped answering and next time i saw him i asked him if he was still on the site and he answered and said: “yes im still on there and actually last week someone messaged me on there, and i’m pretty sure it was you. i’m just trying to have a clear perspective on this. but, last weekend over in the same friends house she told me that his profile is still there. i have to add that i am 41 and he is 36, but he said he doesn’t care and neither do i. – i’m guessing here but if i were going to tell a woman i was dating that i had taken down my profile, it would normally be because i would be hinting to her that i want to date each other exclusively. gaining my trust, after my past, is not an easy task and he has managed to do it. anyways, we still met up and spoke very very regularly over the next 6 months. live in hope that not everyone is the same and that there are genuine men out there. after 2 months he asked me to be his girlfriend – actually an old college friend of his we met on the street asked if i was his gf and then a few mins later i told him that i did not want to continue to see him unofficially so he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he’d tried to ask many times but was too shy. i called match to make sure i did not falsely accuse him of being online if he was not., he is still active on the sight and logs in. he suprised me first thing in the morning with an execpected visit, we went to a braves game that we had scheduled a week before and then he invited me to spend the night at his place. we had the exclusive talk, and we both agreed to not see anyone else – but we aren’t exactly “official” yet because of the uncertainty of his job (he’s at risk of being sent overseas for a minimum of 2 years). as i’ve said previously, if you can do this without anger or making him feel threatened, i think it will go better. he told me he would remove his profile and that he was so sorry he upset me. ive been with my boyfriend 3 months, we spend every weekend togther and plan to do things. obviously what you describe doesn’t sound good (in the sense that it seems like he’s telling you one thing and then says something online that is different to your “sister”). i was upset since according to dating norm he should have paid. and i think what you’re saying is that what really bothers you is that as soon as you’re done spending time together he’s on the site, right? can someone, please explain to me what is going on because i see it as one thing and one thing only, i am being deceived in a very cruel way as he is clearly preoccupied with pursuing other women on dating sites. it sounds like this guy decided to start looking again but wasn’t going to tell you. i have never done online dating myself but because of my boyfriends profile i now log in under a fake profile every day to check his activity.” today, i emailed him and asked him if he is dating people from the site and that we should both take our sites down and focus on each other. since i see he’s on, i browse my matches but very rarely wink at anyone and don’t message people back (in all honesty, i kind of got sick of online dating and had just tried it because it seemed novel until that feeling wore off). sum it all up: i would expect that within the first month of actively dating each other that you should have an idea of where you stand and i would expect his profile to be down. so i never talked to him about the dating site but i found out that he isn’t using the site we met on anymore but that he has set up an account for a totally different site and tried to hide that it’s really him so that no one will know. he seems like a great guy, and the compliments are flowing but something is off. don’t attack him about it – show genuine curiosity and i hope he’ll realize that even if he thinks it’s not a big deal that his profile should come down/be hidden. i was hurt but more disappointed because he told me that he would never hurt me like my ex s did or any man before him..but im starting to feel a bit strained because i just dont know where this is all going. so i began “snooping” and found that even though after 6 months he was still using the dating site that we met on, but he is doing it from his phone so that i can’t check.The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do? | Life

My boyfriend is always on dating sites

have read that many complaints from match is the status option is flawed and can be triggered from simply receiving and deleting a email from match in your personal account. i’m sure this will make him angry but it will be pretty hard for him to deny (and i get the feeling that you’re going to have to accept him getting angry if you want to pursue solving this problem, regardless of how you approach it). told me the first day i hadnt talked to him that he forgot his phone at his friends, and id like to believe him but now 2 more days of him not talking to me much i dont know what to think… my friends tell me to give him space so im gonna work on not trying to contact him as much today. i guess my thought is that some more time together could help convince you both that it’s a good match (or not) and then all the wondering wouldn’t be required. am not brad (obviously) but if you read my post, which is right before yours, you can see i was almost in the same situation. while it does look like he may be being a bit dishonest with you, there is a chance that he may, for some reason, think you’re not interested in a serious relationship. so how on earth can it be acceptable to do it online! i really hope she does, because that is what is needed (for her, him and the relationship). being exclusive means resisting temptation and focusing on the lady you are bedding and claim to be crazy about. i guess my question is, if it’s almost been a year and his feelings haven’t changed since we first started seeing each other and he’s still going on dating websites, should i even try to thinkta he would someday want a relationship? they’re both in the same college so and both haven’t returned to the site since that day. almost everyone who has success with online dating will have some time where they have a subscription but aren’t using it…assuming they meet someone. they are not looking out for you if they still are checking out the menu while proclaiming they are crazy about you. met a guy online from okc in january 2014, i was evicted 6 weeks afterwards for violating my lease after letting family members stay with me. took 6 months to tell me he loved me, but still has his profile up even tho its hidden…and i just grew on him like a comfortable old shoe…lol.  the moment i walked was when he’s making fake phone calls to cover up for his activities – he tells me he’s going to watch a movie at his cousin and then right in front of me makes arrangements to watch a movie at a girl’s house – and then covers up by pretending to call the cousin and tell the cousin that he’ll meet him ‘there’ (he won’t say the address of course b/c then i would know but he’s operating under the assumption that i think the cousin knows where ‘there’ is). then he’ll later mention ho he misses me of how we needto hsngout more. he checks his emails in front of me and i didn’t think much of it that he still got emails from another dating website and he had said he couldn’t remember the password. must cut ties and move on if this isn’t the kind of relationship you want. i deleted my profile ages ago, but this afternoon i had a look and he is still using it. my guess is that you will find evan is right and dump him. i am in the same boat and i wil be having a discussion with my so called guy about this asap. even after three discussions and several screenshots as well as telling him how to delete his account and how to bury his cookie email tracks, he still could not resist. as maree touched on earlier, these guys wouldn’t try to continue to pick up other women and real life and shouldn’t do so online either. they don’t want a relationship, and certainly not just one woman because it isn’t enough to feed their egos. this last weekend he finally got the courage to inform his mother that he had proposed (6 months ago!. i put his hand on my chest and said ‘omg! we had an amazing day on tuesday from start to finish. gatherings out of state, day outtings with his kids, hanging with his other friend couples (he has always introduced me as his girl), spending long weekends together…. – i think it’s likely that he’ll find another excuse, but you can explain to him how to hide his profile: log into match then click profile then settings and then set the profile to hidden. he said that i have trust issues and that he is not doing anything or talking to anyone else. the responsible party is the man or woman who has to open those emails to stroke their ego or satisfy what they think is a harmless curiosity. needless to say, he has trust & commitment issues and i am understanding and patient…. he said he hates the fact i always have to leave and wishes i could stay at his place all the time. but he still checks it daily so im kinda confused. just looking for a suggestion on how to handle this is all. i recently found that he had set up a profile on plenty of fish. or he could tell me that he isn’t ready for a serious relationship.’ll be the first to admit – online dating can be addicting – especially when you’re getting a lot of attention. was feeling unsure (trust issues from being cheated on 2 out of 3 boyfriends) and so i created a “fake” profile (something i am not very proud of). he said it all has actually caused him to love me even more and strengthen his commitment to me, which he acknowledges might sound strange, but that is the affect it had for him. dating bloghis dating profile is still active – is he interested or not? after the first week he was asking me to be his girl. know this is almost what everyone else is saying but i would like your advice. i wish these readers had written me beforehand because this is often the worst approach to take (at least from this guy’s point-of-view). we have a lot of common interests and have so much fun together, but have had a couple of awkward conversations about exclusivity and where this may be heading. per evans continuing advice: ”sorry this is not working for me. thus, on occasion i sense her guard is up a bit. in fact i said to him that i would now need a brain transplant to ever trust him and that much of the time we were together i have felt like i was on the spin cycle in a washing machine- no-one wants to feel this way. i’m so confused, but over thisyear our conversations and time spent together hs allowed my heart to grow. he has met my family and gets along great with them, i have met his mom and some of his friends., i find really annoying is when he informs me that he is not cheating on me but why is he still on the dating site. so looks like he pulled one over on me and is still online., this guy may not even be thinking about his profile and might be totally confused if you disappeared., if he’s been two years and she’s tolerated this crap — it’s unlikely she’ll make a stand / move like that. thought through all of this for a couple of days before i brought it up to him. i would be eternally grateful because at this point i feel as if i am going crazy. when i discovered betrayal, it was as evan described in his @11 post, he changed his behaviour to keep the status quo. on friday (13 jan) he tells me that he was going to his mates place for dinner so if i’d like to join. i really do love him and want to be with him, everything would be great if i could just figure out how to get him off those sites. now im starting to question if i should stay in this realtionship or go. everything he gives is designed to gain power in the relationship., there are guys on this blog that are restoring my faith in men. if he doesn’t think you are good enough, why would you think he is? met my boyfreind on the site in april 2012, we spoke over txt for like 3 weeks and met up. first off, he has significant commitment and some emotional issues. me, this guy is saying he loves you but he is not showing it. a sociopath has no sense of another person’s emotional or intuitive perspective other than what is communicated overtly. i know its wrong to snoop but i did i went on his cell phone and found that he has an open tagged account. i have been told by a close friend (who is male) that i need to be chased and show him that i am not at his beck and call. my biggest worry is my daughter, she is very attached to him and tells him that he is her best friend and she loves him, and he tells her the same. i have tried to keep my “option open” by staying on the site – but it just makes me feel bad…. he helped with my car, helped paint the shutters of my fathers house, my father is getting old now and it meant so much to me, he even helped with other things around the house, he said he “liked to take care of me. saw each other again, two weeks afterwards, i went to visit him this time. told him i understood as he is just newly ‘out there’."he is a beautiful person and he is so generous, affectionate, well spoken and accomplished. he’s removed his dating profiles, although i don’t like that i had to get very demanding about that. i am going through something similar and i really hope that you may be able to give me some words of wisdom, advice, anything! i was quick to let you know how much i loved my wife but every time i told you this i also punched her in the face. love is not a big enough word for how we feel! my membership came to an end shortly after we started emailing and i chose not to renew – i’m now off of the site, and he knows this. true, we did not discuss what sleeping together meant, but i did not think it was necessary to have the same conversation i might have had with a 30-year-old. it feels so much like a relationship and that he is warminig to the idea, but we havent discussed it cos we cant due to his parents and their plans for him. the daily matches argument/excuse is about as weak as they come. you can read a book together but if he turns around and starts putting a profile online, what good has it done? why is he window-shopping for other women when he says he wants to marry me? engaging in the game, in any way whatsoever, will give him what he wants: access to your eyes so he can see himself, access to your heart so he can feel his value and access to your body so he can pleasure himself. without a core self he has no genuine self-esteem so his primary drive is to fill the void and compensate for the self-esteem he lacks. ive broght it to his attention so i hope it is removed soon. he also said he has friends he talks to but no one that he is seeing or dating. decided that whatever his problem was, that i would no longer make it my problem- and yes, i genuinely loved him, but enough is enough! i still think its about respect… and not so much about committment. you can get everything wrong and still find the man of your dreams. i told him that it hurt to see him on the site and that i felt that everything was going good and i did not understand why he was on. find out how i failed at first but then had great success with online dating – download my free 100+ page online dating guide ebook today! your live-in boyfriend doesn’t want to quit, he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. but he’s still so kind to me to help me in my time of need. this guy sounds like a real or wannabe silver fox who is still playing the odds. i have read what you have written on this subject and i know you said that men are slower to remove their profiles than woman – so my question is how long is reasonable to wait for him to do this before you say something or begin to feel offended by it? – it’s very possible that he would change as we don’t really know what’s causing him hesitation from fully committing to just dating you and hiding his profile. is it something i’d want to make as a general statement for men (or women) in general? i i mean gee, is it really necessary to say that after you just told me you loved me? 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My boyfriend is still on online dating site

logic aside, i would ask any reader who has this issue the same thing i asked the woman who contacted me: are the two of you exclusive and have you both made it clear that you are only interested in dating each other? i told him that i couldn’t continue on with him though if he still wanted to see other women. on, my now boyfriend and i started dating and it was casual dating for both of us. two days ago, someone brought his pof account to my attention, knowing that we were “together”, so i got online and checked it out. he totally denied that he was on the site and could not see how the picture got on it. i texted him that i missed him, i havent mentioned anything to him about deleting his profile, i told him i deleted mine and he said he cant delete his from his phone. he had cancelled his membership (and told me he was doing this) about 3 weeks ago. i admitted to snooping through his phone, and laid out everything i had found and discovered. i’ve planned to take her to do painting of an ocean area with an artist and then a picnic. the “let’s be exclusive” conversation hasn’t happened, i would recommend you start to slowly but intentionally determine if he feels your relationship is headed in that direction.’ve been seeing this guy a little over 3 months now. he didn’t say marriage, but his intentions are long term with me and he is excited to see a long term future together. find it very difficult to give advice on this topic because there are often so many things going on that i can’t really predict.  and the list goes on for all of the things he’ll tell you."i also discovered that i could attract a ton of quality men, in no time at all, if i needed to go back out there. ren – at this point i’d suggest giving him a bit more time. so, i asked “why do you have the profile up when you know it bothers me this way? he met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. he’s told me his biggest fear is missing the boat’ as in not getting married and having kids at a decent age.  your boyfriend is 60 – mine was 27 – it doesn’t matter what the age is – it takes immense work to actually change – and most people don’t have what it takes to do it. i can’t say which one it is but i do think if he’s keeping his options open you’ll really want to do the same thing (and not just saying you are to convince him to stop). though he already told me he wasn’t interested in dating other people, and we had both disabled our profiles a week or two before. he seems genuine but he won’t take his profile off & commit. i just immensely like him, and i haven’t felt this way about anyone. it may be that he’s being honest and he’s only seeing you but the whole “actions speak louder than words” thing isn’t doing him any favors and were i in a situation like yours i would want to let him know that. i said that he really should think about changing that if his goal is simply to date around. it’s just that the sent messages show when that user has been online). shares so much about himself with meso why is he pushing me away like this. that being said, almost 100% of the time when i talk to women in this situation they want to follow the advice your friend is giving you: lay low, wait it out. my profile was still up i did message him while he was online and made a little joke about him being there one day and his response was that when people make the effort they at least deserve a polite ‘no thank you’…but that’s been a month ago.  you don’t know if he/she is looking for a relationship or is just interested in the one-two date experience. if i had met him at the pub, i would have met his friends & seen his place. so as that sixth week approaches, i think it would be best if you let him know that you’re bothered by his profile still being up and see how he responds. i’d say that long of “exclusive” dating should be long enough for someone to know if they’re ready for that step. this after he had spent friday with me & had told me he never shares his bed with anyone. brad, i really enjoyed the post and seems that many of us experience the same issue. after everything this guy has done for me…i just don’t get it…commitment issues? he is now back on the dating website daily again. set up some boundaries to lessen (not eliminate) the likelihood of this happening to me again. even if a woman had been cheated on, the message would still be “i’d like to commit to dating you”. as i usually contact him 1st but he responds like right away, like he is sitting on his phone almost. boyfriend – who is over 60 – has had more dates than anyone i know and still receives notifications of women who have emailed him constantly. well after we had sex and all he is still interested cause we went out again and i told him i had my period and he didn’t care. how many girls he’d been with sexually and not: not many, and if he was dating anyone else: no, and if he was what i like to call a serial dater, dating many at once. a lot of guys (this one included), the clarity at which a woman is able to say something exists isn’t clear to us at all (and i speak as a married man who has conversations like this from time to time with an exasperated wife who just doesn’t understand why i don’t get the obvious). you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t have to be convinced to focus all his attention on your relationship.”, but it confirmed that all he thinks about is how things affect him. this is what you are dealing with if he truly is narcissistic. he told my fake profile in his last email 2 days back that there was no spark between us & that’s why he kept it casual. i can totally understand having caution after being cheated on, but at the same time you don’t want to wait months and months only to find out this might not go anywhere. never apologize for checking up on a person who has lied to you and promises to do better. of december, it seems his fwb girl pretty much cut him off. now, he only goes online for a couple of minutes at a time whenever he does log in. i asked why and he said he wasn’t really feeling the site etc. however there is one problem: his dating profile is still active. you been dating exclusively for 3 months or have you not had a talk on being exclusive? his excuse was he did not have a computer, only his phone to access, and there is no way to deactivate from a mobile device. during the date, he continued to say the same things that he’s been saying to me and he couldn’t keep his hands off me. i suppose that is were trust comes into place, and mine is a bit shaken.. but at the same time i cant understand the need to have a conversation with guys on a dating site? have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match.?Also since posting this, we’ve had more discussions, all of which have been helpful. thought barb’s answer was effective, but your analysis is perfect. i think that might be a next step: to let him know that you’re very unhappy that he keeps his profile up. however, if we use your examples of the real world versus online dating (and really a case that you appear to make that they should operate more similarly): if it were the real world instead of online dating wouldn’t you have been more firm that he shouldn’t be talking to another woman/making himself available to other women? we worked things out and he promised me he would delete it asap. i was living in the belief that he had deleted his site and i didn’t even doubt him about it for a second, sine he had promised me he would. to hear your experience went that way kelly…i promise not all guys are bad though! a guy checking his dating profile isn’t always a sign that he’s unhappy and based on your agreement i guess it’s fine for him to do so. yet my gut says there is something not right about his profile being up still. he also tells me that he hasn’t told any women that he loved them since his ex wife – and they have been divorced 11+ years at this point.’ve had several readers write me after they argued with the man they were dating to ask if i thought they had made the right choice. stoneexpertphoto: weheartit whatever follows your "i am" is what you attract into your lifeit's all about the law of attraction. i’ve seen this with some regularity talking to people over the years and while i can’t say for certain, that might be what’s going on here. i have checked simply out of curiosity and really to keep myself from getting to attached at this point. when we were saying goodbye i told him i would miss him and he said i am already missing you’. had trouble getting her on the phone as thats something shes uncomfortable with and shes unsure about being able to visit cause of money going towards a course. i checked, and again i was right on the money (i should have read this blog before so i did not do what i did again) i called him out, this time he flat out lied and got verbally abusive. always see dating profiles that say ‘in a relationship now’ and one that said “married now’.  the moment i walked is when a couple of the women had contacted me (over the same 48 hour period) and it became clear that some of his physical attentions to them were more than ‘friendly’. he wanted to meet me on sunday evening but i couldn’t and then i was shocked to see that he had repeatedly logged into his account. i’ve met his parents and extended family and he has met my parents. he told me he’s not into the casual thing with other girls, i know he’s active on his dating profile. he even said never look a gift horse in the mouth’ and i asked who is the gift horse, you or me? the narcissist is a paradox of using empathy without caring. she sounds like she is struggling with a conflict between what her gut is telling her and what her head is telling her and is seeking synthesis between competing views without disowning the information from either.’v egot the same problem on ly mine is a little different. the first one was a stunning looking guy, womaniser, who said he wanted me to be his girlfriend after about 3 months but actually just wanted to keep me “in his stables” whilst he was constantly on the look out for new conquests. i want to be with someone who is at least sure enough to put all the other girls in the world aside for a moment and give the relationship the attention and respect it deserves – for however long ‘it’ lasts – for whatever ‘it’ is. but as you stated, the attention a narcissist receives from as many different women as possible is what they seek. obviously the profile is not “just there” and obviously its not there for his friend’s use because he is putting up pics of himself and updating his own info. it’s one thing to say someone is the only one for you, it’s another thing to actually live that out. he probably doesnt even kno that i love him or that i still want a relationship with him cos i try hard to act calm and cool with everything….  what kind of person lives with a partner for 2 years but stays, looking around on a dating website even if he’s not actually “cheating”? they also indicated that to open an email or wink from the service from the associated account would show them as online. that being said, i believe a month of spending time together is a good general time frame to expect some concrete definition to your relationship, especially when you’re going out of your way to interact with each other every day. it’s clear he’s online but not yet dating anyone. op really needs to leave this guy, he sounds like a total jackass and totally selfish to boot. i find it difficult – impossible – to continue with someone who isn’t sure about me. i mean, when is the point where he would take his profile down? – i guess i don’t understand what the difference is between being exclusive and being boyfriend/girlfriend. he goes out of his way to text me just to say hi, good morning, or see how my day is going. 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My boyfriend still goes on dating sites

i’ve been dating this guy for 5 months now, we spend every weekend together. i was very worried because i knew that as an army soldier, deployment is always imminent. what you describe is spot on and so well written. what if this other guy he sees has a car and they meet up regularly? they like to look and the crave for attention from the opposite sex. if you’re just not comfortable with that, it sounds to me like you could bring this up again.. i brought up the subject and he insisted it was nothing that he had an app on his phone and would click on it when bored but that he would remove the app. i realize she’s already reached that point where it would be devastating for her to lose him but allowing it to continue only to have things end over this a few years from now isn’t going to improve things for her. he is super attentive when we are together, has introduced me to all of his friends who have warmly accepted me into their circle as one of their own. it’s a good idea to let him know that the active profile is the source of much of this feeling (leaving this out could leave many of us guys, who can be dense when it comes to relationships, confused or surprised). there where little things that happened when we first started dating that i didn’t concern myself with too much at the time, but now i felt like i had to get resolution about those things if i was really going to make a big commitment like this with him.! yes he needs to appreciate what he’s got instead of fretting about what he’s missing out on. have you been 100% open with him on how all this makes you feel? he has told me about some of them and still hears from many of them. i hope he comes around to appreciate what he has instead of worrying about what he might be missing out on!  but dating is a way to find someone who you want to try to build something with. jean: i want to date, but i still live with my ex-husband. unfortunately it seems that at this point you should have a conversation with him about this and where he sees things going…i’d hate to think that he’d be using you for a place to live (and hopefully that’s not it).. after fighting about it for weeks he’s now saying he’s going to delete it but when where together to do it… because as soon as i saw he had his, damn right i put mine back up and he said i did it out of “revenge” …. i even told him i had to get his confirmation because i have trust issues with previous guys cheating on me. and lets just say that because i went out for a girls night instead of hangin with him, that he responded to this other woman. this would make him behave in predictable ways that are very charming, very charismatic, very exciting and very attentive but always there is the sense that he can’t commit his feelings all the way down. he says hes not dating/sleeping with anyone else but why is he still online? again, not with any type of ultimatum, but i’d let her know that you’d be interested in concentrating on dating each other exclusively. i treat him so well, cook, clean, and care for his kids but yet i seem to have no standing with him. he answered back telling me that he knew i’d been online too. on sunday (and i knew he was going to do this) he cancelled saying he had to go to meet his folks for lunch he didn’t even reschedule. it sucked because my friend offered to give me rides to his dorm but now that’s canceled.!2 days ago i checked to see if he had taken his pof profile down (along with another one i had found several months ago – sexsearch dating site). the next day he says he went online and couldn’t find me. his facebook page and his relationship status says involved with another girl. i really like this gy so i want to give him a chance to delete the profile of his own accord. this is how your valentine’s day is going rhia. he asked me to be his girlfriend shortly after we got the apartment. i then asked if he was still on the dating site and he said yes. i didn’t get it and still having a lot of  difficulty understanding it but you put it perfectly., paul mawdsley is 100% spot on, i lived with a man with npd and it was a roller coaster ride i chose to finally get off.! it’s going to be hard to trust a guy after this. he had left it logged in and i noticed from the history he had checked some of the women out but he didn’t have a premium account. i am in my late 40s and was seeing and sleeping with a man in his late 50s who i learned was very active on the dating site we met on. and just to make it clear, my sister isn’t creating suspicion with me, i’d noticed how all along, he’d be texting me and suddenly stop with no goodnight, see ya, nothing, just stopped in mid conversation. i have also noticed that on his computer he is getting on another site and looking at personals, mostly from other states. dating profile is still active – is he interested or not? similar story met a guy online 2 months ago we meet once a week on the. do text and talk on the phone quite often but i had came to realise that its already been 3 months and his profile is still active and he goes on it quite often. he then when he was at mine told me he wanted to keep me satisfied so i didn’t go elsewhere! i would expect the bf will do what he has to do to keep the game going until he can turn it in his favour and continue milking as much as he can from the relationship. i am trying my hardest not to bring this up again, but the recent picture really has me thrown for a loop.  i would dump his sorry behind, work on myself and why i’m prepared to sacrifice myself by putting up with this kind of behaviour! yes first time i get an invitation to his place. we met on a dating site and were surprised to find that even though we live in a small town we had never met. in the browser history i was looking to see if he had been viewing porn websites when i noticed a dating website there. he’s an adult and for whatever reason, this is the choice he’s making right now. since we have dated for almost two years, i asked him to cancel his online dating account. he said the only reason he was on it was to try to figure out why they took out of his account. how do i let what would normally be a wonderful relationship (if it were not for his dating profile) progress, or how do i let it go? i told him he shouldn’t be taking his frustrations out on me & that he can date my ‘friend’.  he’ll tell you that you’re the only woman he wants to be with and the only woman he cares about and the only woman in his life for over a year. doesn’t he realise i am losing trust in him? its been like 2months together and he is really great guy if i have to be honest and i do have my moments too in annoying him too. i expected to see the original profile from when we first meet but this one was different and his profile picture was a picture of him and his daughter that we took after we moved in and decided to take family portraits to hang around the house. also, you might want to ask him why he wants to keep his profile up if you are using words like that. once that talk is done, i think it’s much easier to get a real feel for how much respect (or lack thereof) a man is showing. i know it’s fair game and it’s just a first date, but i can’t help but think this way. now 5 weeks later i will be meeting his kids and going to a family gathering soon but he is still online. i have no idea how he’ll respond and whether he wants to keep seeing other people, as he had stated his doubts about our relationship before when we broke up. it seems to have disappeared overnight and i feel lousy and worthless. am surprised to hear so many experiences similar to mine. am a woman in my early 50’s and i have been dating my boyfriend who is a year older than me for about 8 months. he said that his ex did not want his daughter at my house anymore and that was that. 1,000 questions already answered:search for:Ask evan: ask me a dating question. off, let me say that this guy’s “reason” for keeping his profile online makes absolutely no sense to me. guess my queston is why does it seem like we are playing house with no real commitment? in the meantime brad he treats me very well and has introduced me to his parents and all his friends. i don’t like to come across as the vulnerable one & dating commitment phobes in the past has made me tougher so i don’t want to bring up a conversation of where are things going or mention his profile still being up. surely… surely it means he is ‘not really that into me’ etc. relationships are unique things and you’ll need to decide when it is best in yours to start demanding more…but at some point he will need to commit or you will need to move on. i am not asking for a commitment or exclusivity but when he knows how much it’s hurting me why is he not turning it off? this might come off as being too ‘charming’ or ‘player-like’, but it’s actually not.’m guessing barb is getting mixed messages from her boyfriend and is finding it very hard to make sense of him. still, these are areas you will need him to define. so i plucked up courage and sent txt, saying i had a good day etc but im upset and i needed to talk to him, his instant reply was are u ok, whats wrong. everyone and a while i would get on his phone or computer and check.  the moment that i walked away – kicked him out – is when a lightbulb went off in my head that all of this was a front – it all was lies and there was a world i didn’t know about that existed. he also stayed with other exes and chatted up new women along the way, all the way declaring his love for me. and then he asked me to accompany him to his brother’s girlfriend’s b’day.’ve checked and he’s not been online since i mentioned it so hopefully it’s made him think. the fact that you had to fight about it for weeks is a really bad sign too. out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women. i saw that his profile was still up, which was a bummer since he said he would take it down and he hadn’t. he is sending me all these confusing messages and i am afraid to bring it up again since we already had the talk. he did not have any sent messages in his sent out box. i suppose if she’s just dating you casually, it may be less stressful to think that you might be cheating on her. seemed we were perfect together with him professing his love and talking of marriage. as far as the deployed thing, he is getting deployed in a few months, and this is something i knew about not long after we met. i checked online today and it said that he was online today. started talking to a girl for around 2 weeks, we met on a dating website and have been talking daily., it is possible that he just likes getting emails to stroke his ego and isn’t looking for a relationship. he has no idea that i know about this site.)anyway,i said, so i am just going to enjoy this while we’re here. i messaged him on my friends proflie and he answered very nicely that i was pretty and he was still looking for a relationship. i want to take it the relationship slow too but i also don’t want to be seeing a guy that is looking for the bigger better deal.
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My boyfriend is still online dating

’m currently in the same situation but we have only been dating a couple of months. i know it’s annoying but he’s being open about it and i don’t feel like anything you describe is “shady” (yet).  once you’ve identified that there is someone you want to spend more time with – and live with – this is when you put your efforts into seeing if you can make the relationship work and see if you can build something together. is fabulous to have a weeded out process available in this day but the downside is evident. have been dating a guy for 5 weeks, been out 12 times w/a couple of overnights. ive taken family vacations with him and his father so im thinking things are just fine. i realised it was early days and though it hurt i let it go. however i told him i am relationship girl & not at ease with this casual arrangement. is it too late to salvage anything…or was there anything to salvage? – if i understand correctly, you’re saying that if he doesn’t decide to take his profile down in 6 weeks then you’ll not talk with him about it and just end things? as it turns out, he continued to see his fwb through mid december, sometimes he was ‘with’ both of us on the same day! i’ve talked to a lot of women where this type of situation can drag on for months only to see the man start dating another woman. so i know he is not in it for the sex.… i guess the question we all want to know is: what is in a man’s head that makes him think / or not even think at all i guess from your comments? i would be as kind as possible if you decide to have this talk with her: you’re not trying to punish/reprimand her, just letting her know where you stand. and there is also narcissism as a personality trait that exists quite normally in all of us from time to time. i realised quickly he would never be a one woman man and left him. she could be tolerating it b/c finding men that age who aren’t too deluded to date someone their own age is hard . just met someone this past weekend and we “hooked up” for a few days and it was nice…and i find it weird that he still emails me on the site seeing that we have had such a hot weekend… i have stated that i find it weird to communicate since he and i have each others phone number and i also stated that i date one person at a time and that if he chooses to continue looking that is on him…. have met an army man on an online dating site about 6 weeks ago, and we pretty much hit it off right from the beginning. in fact, he has since told me that he is actually glad i went through his phone and handled it the way i did with him (holding him accountable to it, ready to dump his butt, but didn’t attack him like the tasmanian devil). he has told me about some of them and still hears from many of them. me, if a month goes by after you’ve expressed your concerns and he is still refusing to remove his profile then setting ultimatums seems more reasonable. we met on a dating website, and the relationship took off right from the start. shed some light on thisand please tell me what i should do. those of you that ask why about how i found his profile, my friend created a blank account to check her dishonest husband a few years ago, and i logged on (with her permission)…my profile has been down for a long time. mine is pretty similar however, like most others, i really don’t know how to handle it. his last message though was that he was going to message me the next day. i guess you could mention to him that your friend told you that she saw his account was still up and you could let him know that you’d feel much better if he hid it. is us women risks a lot of emotions right away when by fact we should be more objective in the first place. there is no cure but an expensive therapist to sit with you for several sessions for emotional damage – to help re establish your self worth and value that was destroyed by one person who had the audacity to demand no expectations while you jump to his cool as heck laid back beat. after that i did what any respectable women would do and i deactivated by online profile.  naturally, he did not return home that night and in the morning walks in, asks for his favorite omlette and says he stayed at his cousin. when i caught him online he turned it around on me and said i was the one who was cheating because i never deleted my account. he hasn’t asked to meet since i just nodded at his suggestion. i love him but he wont commit, using this family thing as an excuse i guess, but then he still is online tlking to random women whilst keeping me in and out of his life? i know that’s easier said than done but if you do end up dating him again just be very cautious…sounds to me like he would have cheated on you if he would have had the chance. i don’t know if i should give him more time or move on to find someone who is more committed to me. guess i’ll be renewing my membership in the site where i’d met him since i did talk to a couple decent men there despite having had little in common with them but, who knows, maybe i’ll get lucky. that moment i realised i really do have feelings for this guy. the most telling sign, if this is the case, is the feeling that he is only giving to get something in return. well…i don’t think it’s a *good* thing that he’s still logging in. a month ago, i complained about his dating profile still being active. austin may comfort you for a few months, bur ev…"ali on i have to choose: my boyfriend or my career"stacy2,"so think about it for a second. then in april he tells me he spoke to his 19 year old son who was still living at home but looking for his own place, that the game plan was to be out of his house by june 1st, that is when he would be moving in with me, so his son better get active in finding an apartment. i even had one reader who had gave the man a hard time the day after their first date when his profile was still up. and barely said much at all…this past week i got a bad feeling so checked the dating site where we met, and his profile (which wasn’t there a week before) was back up. once i texted him he was quick with his response and asked me to come over to his suburb.’m concerned telling her this may rattle her a bit givien her prior experience and scare her off. you are risking stds,emotionally injuring people who deserve respect and maybe losing out on a really good person. i asked if his feelings changed at all towards our situation. the fact that he won’t allow you to post pictures of the two of you together but then has photos with his “online girlfriend” is particularly troubling. as his lover’s perspective starts to become less euphoric and more reality based, the narcissist resists, stops caring and implements the control systems created to maintain positive feedback. he is only able to exist through empathy of another’s perspective while not caring about the person whose perspective he is consuming. he takes out so much time from his busy schedule to skype with me, which he initiates a lot, and he drove to see me and paid and was a huge gentleman. if he’s not going to commit, this is a risk for you and i’d see talking to other men as a valid approach since you can’t know what he’s going to do down the line. he had all the excuses for why he was still on a dating site- just that i didn’t buy them. i thought everything was great his parents know all about me i’ve met his friends and some family. a week goes by and it still says active within 24hours. explain how much you enjoyed spending time with her but given how infrequently you are seeing each other and given the fact that she’s still looking online, you feel like you should keep your options open. i have active accounts on the on line sites as well but its been months since ive even thought to look at them. ms curious – i’m not sure anything is jumping out at me here as requiring a lot of worry. he said he had in the past gone from one serious relationship to another and wants to see what dating around is like. his job is stressful right now, but in my mind, if you like someone a minute or two to send a quick hello is not a big deal. i don’t know if you would necessarily want to “let it go” but at the same time if he’s keeping his options open you might want to do the same (including staying active online). this infuriated me, and to my utter shame i called him out immediately. he said he was extremely hurt as well and he still cares for me a lot, but wants to take it slow. i’m happy to say i accomplished all those things and with support from my best friend, decided to start dating again – but i was certainly not looking for a relationship or to get serious. he knows that i will soon be going to live where he lives soon because that is my plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. i’m going to do a lot of reflecting about his behaviour patterns in relation to me. if a woman continued intereacting with men she was meeting online, the man she’d been planning a future with wouldn’t dismiss it as innocent. but i now know what his problem is,  and maybe why he does what he does. in general, he was never pushy or anything, but the opposite, and i got the impression of him as being a nice and honest guy. – my personal opinion is that you have every right to be concerned. we met on a chat room site back in june. he works the graveyard shift so it is sometimes hard to see eachother but we usually manage a couple times a week. to me, it sounds like another guy who isn’t necessarily cheating but is struggling to commit. i had been on a few dates from the site, and was just about to lose interest completely when i met him..and during all this, we are both still active on the dating sites….”, he says he was already feeling that way for me, but this whole incident deepened it for him. know, we can call the boyfriend a sociopath, but who moves in with a guy who still has his online dating profile up? we have been itimate and he told me he hasn’t been with anyone since he broke off his engagement last summer. the monday after a long beautiful weekend, bam, he is online. only way to fix this is to dump this him when you’re done reading this. i’m still also unsure if i want to be in a serious exclusive relationship with him. i am one to not talk with other men when i am a few dates into seeing a guy, but we aren’t to that place of discussing taking down profiles yet. i will tell you that he does the same with his job though. to me, he sounds like a guy who can’t admit when he’s found a good thing and wants to keep his options open…but this sort of thing is only going to make his life (and yours) more difficult. he invited me to stay at his place and we again had a great time, very easygoing, no tension or uncomfortable feeling at all. i don’g want to pushtowards anything, because i feel as thoughhe will if he wants to…but am i wasting my heart on someone whois using me as plan b or using me as a passing fancy? see the narcissist has having empathy but lacking a core self.. which has been cancelled but not hear anything about a visit. – it sounds to me like you were exclusive at some point (at least in his mind) and then later, without you knowing exactly why, you stopped being exclusive (again, at least in his mind). if you don’t get a response to that you’ll definitely know something is wrong. he was suddenly not wanting me to meet his friends. know it is difficult to address this issue but i do worry that if you don’t, in the long run your daughter could be hurt more, not less. he came all the way here (drove 40 minutes in practically a blizzard), and his birthday was three days ago so i made him a cute blanket. it is not about a sense of sharing and caring and acting from a place of core connection. however, i know has has a dating profile because a few weeks after we started dating my friend who uses the site told me she saw a profile for him. this of course, hasn’t cancelled his current 6 month subscription. yes, i still had my account but had stopped going on when we got together. he told me “let’s go inside and delete it right now, together” we tried but the site was having an error.
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My boyfriend is using online dating sites

just wanted some suggestions from you about moving on or should i still date him as it really bothers me and also when he tells me that he doesn’t know what he really wants. this online dating drama made me push him & drove him ‘crazy’. his treatment of barb is abusive, but she is putting up with it.  i never checked his phone or went through his emails – so it took some time for the behavior to have gotten so bad before i really noticed how bad it was. moment that you walk barb – the moment that i walked is when i realized that he was unable to do anything with his time other than be on websites to find ‘friends’, go out with guys cruising for girls, call up girls, etc. if we are “monogamous” should we even have these sites up? it’s hard to judge why his profile is up otherwise – it might be because he’s still looking to date others or it might just be that he’s forgotten about it. in her case, it is very reasonable for her to expect her guy to offer some clarity on where he sees their relationship going. when i didn’t hear from this guy till friday afternoon, i was in no mood to wait and was not happy and you can understand why since i had spent all my patience with my ex. i think you’d be better off talking about it now (assuming you can’t stop worrying) than waiting another four months and being miserable with concerns. in some cases, this could cause what he saw as a healthy, budding relationship to end abruptly. i told him i’m a straight up woman if he wants to explore to just tell me and that i hoped he finds what hes looking for and someone who loved, respected and appreciated him as much as i did, this set him off right away…. both have 3 children, although his dont live with him and are a bit older than mine. in the cases where his profile is still up, i would expect that another month after bringing up your concerns is all it should take for him to decide (and it really should be much faster than this). (this is because my 20 yr old is here still and this way we can have alone time.? if this is the case, then ill do the same thing hes doing to me. maree – i think from a guy’s point of view it can be, at least in some small part, a commitment issue. if i want to check on someone i just use a friend’s profile to see when they were last online. he is still getting messages from other women on there and i told him that she accidentally hit it (i didn’t even act mad) and he turned it around like it was me and said i was probably snooping (this time i really wasn’t! that’s how things went for my wife and i when we met online. – that’s its okay to continue chatting and even dating online while dating and building a relationship with one of us. also, he is seeking a long term relationship and he loves love as i do (from what he’s told me). thank you for seeing that there was something to be seen in me, that i didn’t even know existed."being able to check in with evan each week was like a safety net to give this a go. the reader above waited six weeks and i think that is very patient. now whether you really talk with other guys is up to you…but honestly, i think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually do so.  i had to be persistent for the sake of those ‘hard of hearing’ over the course of a couple weeks till i reminded him every conversation about him leaving and that it finally would be today – that he would leave today – that i was not dragging out the breakup any more. he said he is so excited to date and see me, and already planned where our date would be. if you think this is annoying i definitely understand but i would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue. my friend asked if i check to see if he had gotten on his profile, so i did, and that sunday night he had been on.! now i’m really starting to panic – so without hesitation and with some authority, i look him straight in the eyes and tell him in front of everyone – ‘that is not a for sure thing yet, as we still have not talked about the details’.’d try not to worry too much at this point. i recently signed up on another website and have been looking at other prospects because i feel even though i care about him, i don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket if he is unsure of me as well. my situation he is now an ex for a reason. i could honestly envision us together for a long long time, and it just came as a blow.’s normal to still be online dating or dating in general for the first month you’re getting to know someone. in other words, in many of the cases described in these comments the woman is put in a situation where she needs to force the “let’s be exclusive” conversation. i’ll bet this isn’t the only problem in this relationship. you care for him and while some of his actions declare he feels the same way, other actions make things less clear. he then texted me and said he too tired was but i saw he was on his match account. would you guess that a man who has a membership on a dating site is actually, you know… using that site for its intended purposes – to meet new women?, the goal of the op is not to have the guy pull down his profile, it’s to have the guy want to pull down his profile (which means that asking him to do it probably doesn’t get what she really wants). also that he got to go and wished me a great day and that we would talk soon. whether his behavior was “just” ego-stroking or serious looking doesn’t matter–i found it repulsive and a waste of a mature person’s time. i was in the same fix as this woman, dumped him, but keep seeking to understand. then this past month the texting died down a lot.) if you think the grass is greener somewhere else you can jolly well get out of my pasture and go see. she writes, “(he)…has had more dates than anyone i know and still receives notifications of women who have emailed him constantly. would you be at ease knowing that if you are looking online you cannot give the relationship a chance? no doubt i would have drawn the line at about the 6 month mark but we didn’t get that far – he sent me a 3 page e-mail full of the most luridly disgusting sexual fantasies one day and it put me right off him so we broke up! we text when we aren’t hanging out or he calls on lunch, and he is always talking about our future with my daughter. you could continue to date him if you want, but if he says that he loves you but refuses to take down his profile even when he knows it bothers you…well, i find that very concerning. his title on the site is “just looking” but his goal is to “fall in love”…. i just have no idea what to do anymore…he is acting like everything is good other than my crazy moodiness lately (i think some of it has to deal with him and the other is just a mix of things bothering me). i got really sad about he still having it up and went into my zone for the rest of the night. we were out with his family and friends yesterday and i just happened to catch a text message on his phone that said “what are you doing babe” to the very same girl. jackie – as with the other situations, i can’t say exactly why he would keep his profile up. or maybe he’s doing this to get my fake profile girl.  the moment that i walked is when i stood there in shock – somehow making the omlette – and realizing that i would have nobody to blame but myself if there was a repeat of the faux-phone-call-to-cousin/girl-movie tomorrow – or every single day for the rest of our time together. but my daughter has this thing where she loves to look at his pictures and since his phone is touch screen and she is only 3 she sometimes hits other buttons, well about a week ago she opened his browser and ended up on the exact dating site i am talking about. retain some reality, because being online is so surreal and the rules of engagement so different to real life that some surely find it unbalancing. i have only been dating him 3 weeks, but i don’t want to be with a guy who just wants to string me along so i will wait maximum 6 weeks for him to mention something. but also texts me and tells me how much he misses me and how much he dreams about me, blah, blah, blah. would say let him know how he’s made you feel and then keep your options open to date other guys because at this point it seems like he’s proven that you can’t believe what he says. love it sasha…although i’m sorry you had to go through this. i was already assuming we had broken up so i was surprised. he also said his friends told him i was cheating on him, because the narcissist must always be the victim in the eyes of others. perhaps it’s a commitment problem, perhaps it’s a fidelity problem or maybe it’s something else…but regardless of what it is, it’s not a foundation you’d want to build a solid relationship on.’s a long article just discuss having a guy take his profile down! but after three years of giving my heart to him i feel that i deserve more than that, i feel that he is being disrespectful and dishonest if he is spending all this time with me and saying he loves me, we are even doing 5 love languages together to help our relationship. – i need to wrap this up, it’s way longer than i meant for it to be! the subject is in your email subject line and says: so and so sent you an email. perhaps a taste of his own medicine will wake him up to what he’s doing…but honestly that’s not the point or the goal. he evenetually wanted to come visit me within a couple of weeks of chatting. oh, and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend in february. that is another trait of the narcissist, they can never accept blame and have to always turn it around on you. i was completely honest with him that i had looked him up, and he told me that he ex-wife took his old computer after they split up and that’s the computer he had used to sign up.  i think you need to look at this as an issue of character. i recently confronted him about a woman on his facebook that was posting pics of him and about how much she loves him. along really well communicate during the week and he comes over even when he is exhausted just to see me wants to meet kids and his kids we have had 6 dates and wants to go out from the beginning not to b too serious go slow and asked me two weeks ago to settle down didn’t really answer him but told him i like him. he asked me to cancel the recurring payments in paypal, which i did for him (english is his second language and he’s not terribly computer savvy). this is the relationship i want, and i have it! i am protecting myself from a man who had to answer an email to some woman on a dating site to be respectful. doesn’t matter what his personality is if he engages in behavior that is detrimental to your relationship and to you. it hurt so badly, and it made me feel extremely dirty and disrespected that he would mess around with me and talk to others the same day. week two came and i found that while i was waiting for him to respond to a text i sent (45mins) he was on the dating website from his phone. when he tried to confirm, i told him i hade forgotten we had a date and promised lunch to a friend. told me he isnt keen on that idea but at the saem time how he doesnt want to make them unhappy. anyway, last week his sister had been awful to me and i was home alone and upset. so when i met him on thursday i asked him why he was online if he so wanted to get off. that was the last communication we had, and i am kind of glad that i didn’t say anything about the badoo profile, but i am now feeling uncertain of what really is going on, and if i should leave it for now or until he comes back in october? are there guys that such a statement is true for? that or i would just cut him off… the guy i used to see from okc has a new gf supposedly but he is still on there., if my wife told me that she put an online dating profile up because she was a pisces…that wouldn’t fly with me! he came back all defensive asking me why i would say such a thing and of course he is. i’m just hoping if he knew he could talk to you when he’s tempted to do something silly like this, then maybe he wouldn’t need to go through with it. did a very filtered search on the website and discovered a replica account without a public picture. put it to my 5yr on again off again bf that unless he wanted to marry me and build me a house, get off dating sites (which i’d recently found out about through a mutual friend) and consistently treat me with consideration he could forget it. his last message was that he was going to send me a message the next day…but he didn’t. How do you tell if he is interested in dating you exclusively?  needless to say, there are better men out there and you shouldn’t need to “ask” him to remove his profile if he really was in a committed relationship with you. he’s been too busy to delete it and also his friend is using it to find women.

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