Running out of things to talk about online dating
How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to
Dating for over a year and no i love you,
Online dating subjects to talk about
i know, myself personally, when i used to listen to these years back and i heard people talking about what they said, i would go out and try to use that same story or try to force a story like that into my conversation and it just wouldn’t come out naturally. in reality, while they’ll certainly feel more tension in the silence, the worst thing you can do is show that it’s too much for you by talking too much or retreating back onto your head. it could be watching a movie together and talking about it, reading the news, reading a new book and talking about it, going to a trip somewhere, practicing a new sport, going out and meeting new people…etc. it’s kind of funny enough where it’s not like, “oh, this guy’s a pervert talking about it. i wish i could talk to you about this complex, to me anyway, problem i’m having with girl tha5s so dear and sweet 5o my heart. and then i was learning salsa for a while in my early days learning about dating advice, and the girls naturally want to talk to you then too.., you might look into meet up groups in your area that match your interests (hiking or whatever) and try to meet people while doing things you're interested in. when i talk about asking for compliance it's more just about being straight-forward with my intentions whenever i can, but in a way that seems appropriate for the mood and style of the given conversation. i mean, that's a whole other topic, is finding the interesting things in your own life and finding ways to take aspects of your own life and twist them into something a little bit more interesting. they almost always follow the same pattern:– first the smalltalk and casual jokes (as with anyone else). we talk because it's in our nature to connect with each other. in places like clubs or when you're in a situation where you're expected to talk for hours (jesus christ), you're not going to discover an amazing topic easily. bobby rio, our guest today, had developed a program specifically to help men with this issue, make small talk sexy, so he came on the show to provide some tips to keep the conversation rolling. you’d be surprised the things the very relevant things that come out about their illnesses later on if given the chance to open up. This guide will help you avoid those tense pauses and ensure you never run out of things to talk about. your gut: why dating with your instincts will help your love life. she just enjoyed talking about her favorite band with you the same way she would like to kind of post on a forum somewhere with an anonymous person. Long distance relationship Skype talks can get boring, that why it's important to know what to talk about, and how to keep a conversation going. the day many things happen, even if it may not seem like, but when you go through the day with an eye for new things to tell your girlfriend, you’ll start noticing some interesting things, stories, funny stories and so on, that would make for great conversational topics when you girlfriends asks you “what have you done today? if you like a girl but still have that talk-barrier maybe try to explain to her what your problem is and find ways to communicate. my issue is that i just don't see the joy in talking to the women i approach in the way that they are expecting to be talked to. i'm talking to other males, regardless of our level of familiarity, the conversation will always be easy-going and casual. i mean, as far as sexual things, if that was what you’re asking, i like to use stories, and that's what i kind of talked about earlier, how, with your job, let's say, i can turn my job into a sexual story., in light of that, i read your statement:"you are right that my strategy is asking the girl for too much, but i’d rather ask for instant compliance at the risk of getting shot down hard than having to waste time talking to someone who might never be able to feel attraction for me at all regardless of what i say. ( “what you on about”c girl i randomly hooked up, next day she did not even wanted talk to me). you don't want to tell stories, fine, then talk about an interesting science article you just read, or art or the people around you. please, if anyone needs to tone things down, it's you. every single guy i know has said no to an attractive woman at some point, because there will always be times when there are other things that you value more, whether it's your career, your marriage, the esteem of a woman you really care about, a conflicting opportunity, not getting entangled with someone you can tell is bad news, etc. it’s when you stop sort of limiting what’s okay to talk about and you just take some chances and see where it goes, that's where it starts to flow and you get in the zone and it’s just a spontaneous, natural conversation rather than if i had said to you, “well, you should talk about these four topics.) i’ve tried using canned stories mixed with some questions and casual talk. there are so many programs and courses out there that give you huge lists of techniques, lines, things to say, etc. first, i think one of the reasons guys run into that problem is because they spend—you know, i just got an email from a guy who told me he talked to a girl on the phone for an hour and a half before he met her on the date, and this was his first date with her. i think that mistake is guys get caught up in rapport, and when you’re in a really strong rapport with a girl and you are talking about something like, let's say, a band… let's say you start talking about a band you both like. i think they just expect that you'll talk about stuff in general, with a bit of a flirty feel. the moment im dating a guy who hardly ever does this 'storytelling' thing and, frankly, i myself dont get how everyone on this thread is giving it that much importance. you talk to people in order to transfer something to them. where are you getting that women don't want to talk to me after a few minutes?[bobby rio]: but at the same time, on the first night we went out, we got to talk, we were talking and we had a mutual friend who had a sister and i was like—this was later on after we had been in new york together, in a couple of different locations, and now we had gone to a bar to kind of have a late-night drink. i'm talking to a woman who is approaching me, the situation is also pretty much the same. so they’ve been talking for a while but things kind of dry up from the girl’s side, have you got any suggestions there on how to kick the conversation back into alive mode? again, i don't see anything wrong with this, and this has honestly helped my hitrate on the ons side of things more than anything else. i do like talking about things i did and retelling fun experiences but i found that my current bf doesnt really know how to respond when i talk to him like that so i talk about other things with him, no big deal, right? this means that unless they will go out of their way to make things easy for me, long-lasting social interaction with them become extremely awkward and painful due to the incompatibility in both of our expectations from each other. lastly if you’ve tried the techniques above and you still tend to run out of things to say (because you haven’t really used the techniques above correctly), here are two more ideas that might help you out. every new thing you’re doing in those hours or days while you’re not talking can be a great subject to talk about.
Online dating stuff to talk about
[bobby rio]: so i just don’t like to imagine that, and if you saw any of these girls on campus, you’d look at them and you’d think, “oh, she’s a cute little cheerleader,” but back in the sorority house when nobody was watching, the stuff she’s talking about is just amazing. you learn how they react to things, if they have a sense of humor, what they enjoy and all in an entertaining little story.” people say interview mode like asking lots of questions and stuff, but if you know how to talk about anything, there's really no topic that is that bad. if this is someone who might be interested in you, she’s going to be wondering why you’re not giving her anything to work with – it’s hard to figure out whether a guy likes you or not when he’s only talking about the weather or his job. it was only when you completely disregarded anything they had to say that things broke down. running out of things to say doesn’t make women feel uncomfortable, running out of things to say and then feeling awkward about it makes women uncomfortable. had to actively make friends with men and get over my own anxieties about talking to. the same time, she shouldn’t be pushing the conversation forward every time, lest she gets the impression that you’re not interested in continuing to talk to her and that she’s doing all of the work. if you can do this, you will never run out of things to say.[bobby rio]: yeah, i don’t mind talking about them. he sees what’s going on, he knows it,” but it’s also good because you get to observe… when you get a little bit more aware of what’s going on within a conversation, like i talked about earlier, when you’re able to say, “she just kind of gave me a weird reaction there. essentially the lower the price of admission to the conversation the more gaffs she'll be willing to "let go" as she's talking to you if she likes you. i just don't think it's fun to talk about past events in a completely uninteresting manner, and i don't understand why anyone else would? to all the " valuable insights and observations and the blah blah blah" pretentious pile of crap you're talking about. if you talk to a woman you've approached about going hiking, then yes, of course you're supposed to talk about how beautiful it was and how exhausting it was when you got to the summit.[angel donovan]: right, and in social situations basically that you’re kind of used to and that you’d expect to be talking in, right? if you were to relate what she said to something else, you could talk about so many related topics like: how cool it is to watch movies at the cinemas; when was the last time you went to the cinema; what movies genres does she like most; showing her some other trailers of some cool movies that you can’t wait to watch; what famous actors are playing in that movie that she told you about; what actors do you both like in general…and so on.” you start telling her things about herself in relation to travel, of the topic, but you’re getting the focus in on how you see her, because now when she talks back to you, she’s now talking to you rather than talking solely about traveling. way i promise you, you’ll never worry about what to say next, and sometimes (as it often happens to me) you’ll never even get to talk about those things that you wrote on the paper, because you’ll have so many other spontaneous topics to talk about. podcast is a weekly podcast where angel donovan seeks out and interviews the best experts he can find from bestselling authors, to the most experienced people with extreme dating lifestyles. the former is what i'm getting from you; it seems like you're approaching things from this calculated logical manner, which based on what you're saying makes you seem cold and distant (you may not think that, but the writing's on the wall). so if they go on a date, and one of the questions that we often get is, you know, you’re on a date and it seems like a long time to be talking, okay? so you’ve been talking a lot about kind of sexual topics. the matters we're talking about are of course skills to be learned and mastered, but your unfamiliarity with even the concept makes me think you would do yourself a favor if you went back to basics on this. i mean, i’ve lived quite a bit and, i mean i guess to answer your question, are there things that i would change? "i went on vacation" might not be all that informative but "i went on a hike " conveys far more information about you than merely the fact that you once went on a hike – for starters, it indicates that you might be interested in exercise or nature or both, and this information in the hands of a person who is interested in one or both of those things might then be the beginning of a relationship based on mutual interests. so i gave a handful of examples through this interview where i talked about, let's say, my story of when i used to paint houses and i found a box of sex toys and it kind of would lead to a sexual conversation. he's at some kind of business conference and he meets a girl he likes and they start talking about something.” so that's definitely my first piece of advice, is practice on girls that are going to be receptive to talking to you. that will make you more confident and relaxed about getting what you want, which will make it a lot easier to talk to the people you want.) i’ve tried talking to women like i’d talk to a friend or any other person, but the social dynamics between two strangers are too different from the social dynamics between two friends, and i find that despite being friendly, inviting and making non-threatening casual observations, i never really get a reaction from women beside a courteous laughter or yet another question (which leaves me back at square one of having to keep talking). more of us women go out simply to be social and have fun, but even when we're open to casual sex, we do still want to talk first and get to know you a bit! if you don't demand a drink from every girl you talk to, you'll have plenty to talk to to find someone else willing to engage with you.[bobby rio]: but you know, in general, it’s any way you can get that spotlight shining on the two of your interactions along with whatever you’re talking about.” it’s always got to be a mixture of the experience you’re having now together along with whatever else you’re talking about. truth is that there is no magic pill for it, but with a little effort and creativity we could be still having fun and exciting things to talk about even after 3 years of 2-3 hour daily skype talks. a lot of times i’ll be telling a girl a story and i’ll throw in like a totally made up like exaggerated lie, and then when she believes me i’ll make fun of her, i’ll tease her about being gullible, and i’ll start talking about how… you know, i’ll use that sort of as a piece that i can use throughout the rest of the conversation.'s just a few things we reveal in this info-packed interview:the surefire products that are proven to work - based on 15+ years coaching men to dating success. we all have different views on things, and two people can witness the same event and tell completely different stories. what i like about it is that, especially if you’re at like a bar and the girl’s sort of looking at you like, “oh, he's just another guy hitting on me,” then you start to kind of bring it up like, you know, you talk about some tv show you both liked when you were like 6 years old.[angel donovan]: then she has to respond back towards you rather than just talk about the topic.), i get stuck on this phrase: "waste time talking to someone who might never be able to feel attraction for me at all regardless of what i say. those people like to talk about nonsense and for no purpose at all. then you downshift to, let's say, where you start talking about things that are a little bit more r-rated, and that i consider things like talking about secret sides and swingers and stuff like that. if you want to steer away from stories, you need to subtly direct the conversation toward more opinions on things and observations of things, and there will be less stories.
How do you set up a speed dating event,
Running out of things to talk about online dating i've been trying to *break free* of my idea that talking to strange women is different, and i've told myself that it's just a mental construct at the result of cognitive bias, but honestly, no matter how much i've tried to approach these social situations with strange women, they always fall back into the same story-seeking behavior. today’s writer, frequent commentator ancom brings up a common set of problems that i hear about with great regularity from my readers: how you avoid running out of things to talk about with someone you’ve just met and – importantly – how to transition from “great conversation” to “getting the number” and “asking them out on a date”. i was with my girl and they would just talk openly like i wasn’t even there. i mentioned this earlier in my comment about how strange women most definitely are different from other people, because unless they are interested in you and will go out of their way to talk to you, they will expect you to talk to them in a manner which they are used to, which i suppose is the way they tend to talk to their girlfirends.' you sound like you just want the cheat codes to the challenge of dating but there aren't any. #18 how to talk to women and not run out of things to say with bobby rio.#19 david tian (asian rake) -dating asian women: attraction, social and cult. i said this technique could help you have endless conversations, and it’s something that we all use naturally when we talk to people, without even realizing it. any case, you've mentioned in comments above that you've have plenty of success engaging other dudes in talking strictly about the present and/or future. i don't want to talk about my beach visit because everybody's been to a beach. you talk about things that pop into your head, or that you care about. and what happens is a lot of guys don’t know how to and they wind up talking for an hour and a half thinking that, “hey, this is going really, really, good,” but it didn’t. can relate to this easily as i am always trying to find a good opener so that i can talk to this girl and it normally leaves me looking around wondering where she walked off to while i was thinking. am inclined to agree with @djteslarose here… it seems like you, ancom, are really unwilling to see any value in conversation, and perceive it as a roadblock in your dating life. now, i don’t know about you, but my friends and i talk about a lot more than just boring “here’s what i did today” stuff. lastly, the simplest yet sometimes most effective way to prevent running out of things to say is to take little break from each other. seems like small talk is okay because it is all these short answer things. now, we get a lot of people asking us questions about what they should say when they first meet a girl or what they should say when they’ve kind of been talking for a while and then they don’t know what to say, or if the topics of conversation that they’re talking about are the right topics or if they’re actually kind of turning the girls off because they’re talking about the wrong things. is that the kind of thing you want to talk about? you can talk about going back to her place and having a pillow fight, or if she says something you can joke that you’re going to spank her later. 1-2 or even 3-4 hour daily skype talks or phone conversations can become really predictable after a while. and mind you, it doesn't need to be anything deep in order to matter, but this empty, shallow soapbox-style talk that is expected of me? so what i take from that is that you should kind of aim for a new environment, like aim for an easy environment to talk in where you’re expected to socialize but which is new and different from where you currently kind of operate socially. like a personal example i have was i worked in bars and you know, obviously you have to talk with the clients, right? point is, with every thing you say, you have to do two things. you're not into conversation (by which i think you actually mean "small talk") as a way to bond with or meet people, that's cool (i find it a little odd, but i'm married to a guy who majorly sux at small talk, has no interest in it, has no interest feigning it, etc. guess what i'm asking is, how do some people manage to internalize a mental process where they actually enjoy talking about stuff like this? me names and generally derided me for so many things. even if you find a way to manipulate conversation to avoid telling stories yourself (and that's what you're doing, manipulating), chances are you're still going to come across stories from the person you're talking to now and then, if you keep talking with strangers. i talk about how the culture was so drastically different, that it's just simply mind blowing. i don't banter much with strangers either, and talking about something that doesn't relate to either you or your conversation partner get boring or lead to dead ends easily. one, when we talk about "storytelling", we don't mean some grandiose "once upon a time in a far away land" epic like you think it is. i don't think either of those things are wrong, and depending on the day and the person i'm talking to i'll be looking for either or all of those three things. girl you are talking to will probably want to tell you stories. you seem like the kind of girl who couldn’t deal with like third world kind of things. this sounds like to me is that when you’re talking to a woman “like she’s a friend” is that you’re not expressing interest or flirting; you’re keeping it strictly to small talk, which is profoundly unsexy. their reaction is to restrict with they’re talking about and to get more concerned about exactly what they’re saying. i talk about how the community i stayed at had some of the coolest people in the world that i've ever met. nerdlove talks about girls who love the abusive assholes or why geeks continue to have low opinions of themselves.! don't get any of this confused with my asking doc nerdlove for advice on how to deal with talking to women in the scenarios i've described in my original letter, because that's not at all related to my romantic- or sex life as much as it regards my interactions with strange women in just about any kind of every-day situation, romantic or not. i enjoyed the events when i experienced them, but if they contain zero information worth mentioning i will simply not enjoy talking about them. and that's generally, i mean, knock on the wood, that's pretty much the life i’m living right now, traveling with my girlfriend, and just things are going really well., but getting out of your daily routine, first of all to have a more interesting lifestyle, and second of all to have new things to talk about. so like about your situation today, or actually like about the two situations, you know, where you’re dating, just kind of seeing lots of girls and your situation today, is there anything you liked about it and didn’t like about it, and would change or have aspirations to change for the future? i communicate with my friends it's about new things only.
Things to chat about online dating
said that i don't seem very interested in my own life and that doing fun things isn't always about checking off cool things from a checklist, but my issue is that i just don't feel like sharing funny events with other people. that's the first sort of thing i want to keep in mind, is that it’s really hard for me to say what to talk about because if i tell you, okay, talk about music or talk about childhood memories, which are great topics, they’re emotional topics, but if you tell somebody to talk about them but they don’t realize how to talk about them, they run the risk of just spending an hour talking about a topic and then the topic kind of dries up and she has no motivation to keep talking to you now that that sort of mutual interest you guys had in common is not there anymore. i’m curious about your take on this new dating trend that the whole world is using now. because things like that, you make it like, “oh, it’s so cute, you’re so naïve,” or “you’ve got a bossy side. before, i was kind of scared of talking to girls but now i have a newfound hope. of all i think i understand your sentiment about storytelling being irrelevant and i sometimes have a similar problem of not being able to talk to people and just finding myself with nothing to say. talked about it later, and he observed that the thing that makes me "such a good flirt" is that i always come across as really interested in the people i talk to, and that it seems like my default is to like everyone i meet. - how to never run out of things to say and make every conversation interesting. give you an example, if she’s telling you about what she ate for breakfast, let’s say she ate musli with water (yes, we talk about that too) then you can ask her “why musli? am i going to talk about what it looked like? though, she’s not contributing because there is something that’s bothering her, be it something about the relationship or something about her life, and then i encourage her to talk about it. and sometimes, you might run into people you feel more talkative towards. because i think a lot of guys, what they do is they kind of avoid talking about ex-girlfriends and their experiences and stuff. something new that can give you new things to talk about. your letter screams pua in training not "i'd like to maintain conversation with women and actually get to know them but i find it difficult to keep talking". just a person talking about a whole lot of nothing. you can kind of test things out and see the reaction.: talk about your passions, foster a passion for meeting new people, and then find out about them. nerdlove / never run out of things to talk about« previous 1 2 3 view all next »normally on wednesdays, i run your questions for ask dr. bad boys know that nice guys don’t447 how to talk to attractive women335 paging dr. there's nothing you're going to find out through an empty, shallow story that you won't find out through just talking to me. it’s almost never boring unless we need to talk about a boring topic; we wouldn’t be friends if we bored each other after all. learn to talk, doesn't matter if it seems boring to you, because it is not about you. you want a real relationship, however, you're going to have to examine your attitudes toward dating (and women in general) and see what's holding you back, why you feel or think that way, and whether or not you want to change. she's clearly interested, and i'll just give her the basics of my perosnality, my interests, and then i'll talk about pretty much whatever i like and she won't care because she's already decided that i'm interesting and attractive before i even started talking. so i kind of get it), but i think it means that meeting people in bars isn't a good option for you, and you'd be better off meeting people while actively doing things or in situations where you're likely to share a common interest. now you have no excuses to complain about running out of things to say.#21 johnny rocketsmash - dating japanese girls and understanding their c. you'll already know by now too, because i'm here smiling and talking to you! and yes, those things you listed are exactly the sorts of things that people would expect you to talk about if you were telling them about your day hiking.. i have never met anyone who didn't talk about *something* in their past. recommend that before calling her on skype or on the phone, to simply put down on a piece of paper in front of you a few things you want to tell her, or talk about. we like to feel beautiful, but we don't want to be reduced to "pretty things.[angel donovan]: and the media these days is pretty sexualized, so it’s impossible to avoid all of these topics, and i think it would be difficult for a girl these days to not feel comfortable with talking about them because she’s seen it for the last 10 years on tv, right? as you tell the story the feelings that you had in response to it and even the things you learned from it tell her about your character. example you’re talking about her walking the dog, and you could come up with a hypothetical question like:“can you imagine what would it be to have the life of a dog? if something genuinely interesting happened that i feel had an actual impact on me, then i'll share that as well, but everything else is totally interchangeable with anything anyone else has experienced, and it's completely uninteresting for me to talk about it. the interviews were created by angel donovan to help you improve yourself as men - by mastering dating, sex and relationships skills and get the dating life you aspire to., so what i wanted to do now is like talk a bit about bobby rio’s lifestyle, like dating lifestyle, because we’ll get into this studying and learning, but we’re headed in some kind of direction and that's different for each of us. even if it lowers my chances with some women, i'd rather not deal with them anyway as i'd prefer to talk to someone who is positive and open to communication with me. skiing you'd like to do, places you'd like to go to ski, things related to skiing you'd like to try. look, it seems like you want to walk up to a woman, get her to talk for hours with minimal response or genuine interest in what she is saying from you, and then sleep with her (or get her number, etc. first part is exactly what the women are you talking to are looking for. the thing with it is, and i think it’s just that most things in life whether it’s working out or making money or improving any area of your life, it happens exponentially. live in dc, so this might not apply everywhere, but it is super common here to talk about politics (shocker).
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Dating run out of things to talk about reality, while they’ll certainly feel more tension in the silence, the worst thing you can do is show that it’s too much for you by talking too much or retreating back onto your head.[bobby rio]: if you are a little bit more skilled, it doesn’t really matter what you talk about. he has a course named conversation escalation, and bobby has specialized in helping guys with conversation skills, so he was the person i most wanted to talk to about this subject. don’t approach conversations with friends with this mindset: “what do i say that they’ll like talking about? i don't talk about what i did on my second tuesday in india (for the record, i laid in bed with a stomach ache), i talk about how the experience was enriching for me. talk about some physical things to look for, and while they can be valid signs of romantic interest, they can also just mean that she’s extremely friendly and outgoing as well. it's just that i don't think it's fun to talk about stuff that is mostly only fun when experienced. talking about how you failed to have a conversation with this girl. with a friend you’re just talking about boring day-to-day stuff.” and like right there you just went from talking about painting houses to kind of bringing up finding a box of sex toys in an old lady’s…. more on the six most common frustrations that men face in dating, check out our article on the six frustrations of the single man. there are at least 10 other people i could talk to about that exact same situation and get an interesting story each time because they had something else go through their mind when the cops showed up. so if you’re telling her a story about your childhood, you also want to mix in her and getting her to ask you about things or get her to sort of laugh at you. and i’ll say, like i think one of the keys to this conversation stuff, now you’re talking about it, it’s like observation skills, right? when i'm with a strange woman and she throws me one of the classic "story cues," i just draw a blank, because i have nothing i want to tell her other than genuinely interesting things, and those things don't come in story format. so yeah, it’s been great talking to you, man, and having you on the call. occasionally we talk about serious matters: relationship concerns, plans for the future, things we’re worried about. i think that's why a lot of guys quickly run out of things to say, is because it’s almost like if you ever talk in front of a camera, and it’s like you can be totally natural and fun with your friends, but the minute one of your friends like puts a video camera on you, you just kind of freeze up and you just don’t know what to say. like say if the guy starts talking like… okay, let's take another scenario, right?[bobby rio]: the first thing i would do, and i recommend it to guys and i find this extremely interesting, and i think that the influx of dating advice on the internet has good things and has bad things, and one of the sort of bad things that i think is is that i think a lot of guys are really intimidated.[bobby rio]: so, for me, i mean, the location of where you’re practicing—and it’s interesting because earlier you brought up business networking meeting, i personally… if somebody is over 25 years old, or even in their mid-20s and over, i tell them find your local young professional networking meetings because they’re an amazing place to practice, because here you’re going to a place where the girls that are there, they want to talk to you. before you tell me that me viewing these interactions with women differently is the problem itself, and that talking to strange women really is no different from talking to anyone else, please believe me when i say that i've tried to communicate with them in just about any way imaginable, and that it simply hasn't worked, because they've always fallen back into the same "story-seeking" behavior. your gut: why dating with your instincts will help your love life. i don’t dwell on any particular girl, but if i have a story, like earlier, that i went to a wedding with a girl that i had dated and her friend got drunk and wanted to kind of talk me into having a threesome and you know…. in fact, if someone didn't talk about their past, i'd wonder why…. i listened in on some female friends talking to each other the other day, and it was just story after story after story about stuff they had experienced. only thing a conversation reveals about a person is what they want you to see, not who they really are, so there's really no value in talking about uninteresting stuff like that., if i see that she’s not in the mood for talking i might even suggest to end the conversation, because there’s no point in me being the only one talking, and suggesting to continue it when her talking mood gets better, and interestingly enough she instantly becomes more talkative. about her: 7 things you need to compromise for the woman you love. you’re just talking about things that have sexual connotations. Rio interview on How to Talk to Women and Not Run Out of Things to Say including conversation, talk to women, conversation skills, what to say, flirting. more profound in your conversations, instead of just talking about the superficial topics. so yeah, back in college, right, when college ended and i was into the real world, and without having the sort of comfort of my college social circle, i started to lose a little bit of steam and kind of got intimidated to be back out there in the real world sort of dating, and i wanted to practice. and if you’ve ever been with like a friend who thinks you’re really funny and they like almost laugh before you sort of say it, it just makes it so much easier to think of things to say and to be funny when the person’s expecting it as opposed to when the person thinks you’re serious or when the person thinks you’re shy or timid or whatnot. all of your responses in this topic – as well as the whole of them together – indicates a strong tendency to view people as things. love to flirt, i love to meet people, but i hate having to talk to women in the format of stringed-together stories or inane, childish jokes that are segued into each other, because it's not a natrual or fun conversation pattern.[bobby rio]: like i would sit and observe things about people and think of things to say, but i didn’t know how to kind of bring it into a conversation without it sounding weird. and if you talk to a girl for an hour and a half on the phone and then you go out on a date and you spend two, three hours with her, it’s going to get tough to keep it going. i used to be a videographer at weddings, and people that really were the most talkative people in the world, when you find a camera on them, they couldn’t talk. this regards interaction with strange women who are not attracted to me, which could be at work or when talking to a female friend of a friend, because i feel that these women tend to expect me to follow the above mentioned "story-based" pattern that i consider unnatural and boring. he wasn't displaying any "regular" signs of depression, he was a good student, he had friends, but he seemed completely unable to get enjoyment out of things.. #18 how to talk to women and not run out of things to say with bobby rio.[angel donovan]: hi, this is angel from dating skills review and today the topic we’re going to talk about is conversation skills. he has personally coached hundreds of men in countries around the world, and has influenced dozens of today’s up-and-coming men’s dating coaches and authors with his courses, and writings on sparks of attraction. the actual writing down, and knowing that you do have a few things prepared, gives you a great relief, and helps you focus on being present (instead of thinking about what to say next), listening to what she has to say and then leading the conversations naturally.
Topics to talk about online dating you find yourself being the only one trying to come up with new things to talk about, then it means that she’s not playing the game, and your job as a team player is to encourage her to play as well. forget about dating, just go out and make some new friends.[bobby rio]: but a lot of the attitude stuff that i got from the newsletters of his that i was reading really changed my mentality about women and sort of seeing myself as more of the prize and not being the nice guy and all those kinds of things that we take for granted when you’ve been in a community for a while.[bobby rio]: look for a girl to say something that sounds a little bossy or sounds a little like cranky or just try to find things she’s saying that you can twist and exaggerate them to be a little more of the behavior you want to make fun of than it actually was.: i dig the underlying theme of truly being interested in the person your talking to, whether it be a friend or an attractive girl you just met. you're going to have to like yourself enough and be interested in yourself enough know what it is about you that's fun to talk about and fun to share. like i said, i know you’ve done all your stuff in conversation skills, so i thought you’d be the best person to talk about this stuff. i talk to my friends about past events, i literally only give them the facts. the person i'm talking to could tell a story about the time she went to the beach, or maybe she doesn't like the beach but is really into rock climbing and went to enchanted rock the other week, etc. so most guys, they’ll run out after an hour or so of talking, they kind of run out of subjects, and in particular they have an issue where if the girl stops kind of talking and contributing herself, right? your life starts following the same routine every single day, no wonder that you are running out of things to talk about. if you genuinely enjoy talking about growing up in different parts of the world and want to get to know her better when you ask the same question, then she’ll immediately feel that and know you’re one of the guys that she rarely gets to meet. these are the kinds of things i want to talk about while i’m with her. from experience these things tend to be quite hard to force, and also tend to work themselves out naturally.[angel donovan]: okay, yeah, especially when it's a danger area, if you feel like you’re still into one of your ex-girlfriends and you start to talk about her, maybe that's something you should stop talking about pretty quickly because you’re more likely than not giving some kind of emotional vibe off about that that's going to give bad signals.[bobby rio]: and we’re talking about our mutual friend’s sister and i said, “yeah, you know, one time i walked in on her kissing another girl,” and she said, “oh…” we got into talking about the idea of girls kissing, and then she’s like, “well, have you ever had a threesome?'ve actually never said a word about talking to women just to get into their panties, and if i did it was a mistake.” are often spoken of disparagingly in the dating advice industry as something to avoid at all costs for being too boring and common, but they’re the questions that most commonly come out of my mouth. are right that my strategy is asking the girl for too much, but i'd rather ask for instant compliance at the risk of getting shot down hard than having to waste time talking to someone who might never be able to feel attraction for me at all regardless of what i say. if you’re going to be putting yourself out in the dating market, whether you’re looking to get laid that night or if you’re looking for something long-term, you need to be able to talk to women. a human who actually enjoys doing fun and challenging things.[bobby rio]: you know, you’re able to just kind of tune in to reactions you’re getting and sort of the subtle things she’s saying. practice spotting things, like try to find things that you can twist. i’m not sure how long we’ve been talking for.'m also rather confused by the statement "i just don’t see the joy in talking to the women i approach in the way that they are expecting to be talked to.'s a lot more i can say, but these are the first things that i feel need to be said. don’t think that because that's what guys in some program you were listening to, they’re talking about bars and clubs, but that doesn’t have to be where you go out and practice. there are at least 10 other people i could talk to about that exact same situation and get an interesting story each time because they had something else go through their mind when the cops showed up. said we each have things we have to grow out of. i mean, you want a woman that if you start talking about traveling can share travel stories for two hours and the conversation will never ever end. i think it is necessary for society that we all start doing things based upon actual evidence of personality rather than snap judgments based upon physical queues and stereotypes. this is probably weird, but i think you're cute and i'd beat myself up all night if i didn't gather the courage to come talk to you., even though the things you've mentioned can be arrousing to a man, i think male sexuality tends to be detached from everything else. as a guy i find myself having to do most of the approaching, which means i'd rather find out sooner than later if the woman i'm talking to finds me attractive or not. keep in mind two things: vary sentence length, and your first sentence should have them asking questions. a girl is interested enough to buy you a drink, she would still be that interested if you only asked her to sit down and talk with you."in any case, you’ve mentioned in comments above that you’ve have plenty of success engaging other dudes in talking strictly about the present and/or future. i had a flat mate i had to make the biggest efforts to talk to and his gf who was my friend would be so offended whenever i wasnt in the mood to make that effort and it just made me resentful that i was forced into this situation. if you're telling me those three things (how beautiful the forest was, how steep the hill was, and then the joke about losing weight), those three things give me, as a potential date, three critical (and positive! i have real problems shoving the conversation into a more sexual let's go out on a date kind of direction, but i can converse with random girls for hours, talking about random bullshit from our lives. livius besski leave a comment how to not run out of things to say on skype.[angel donovan]: yeah, you’re like, i mean, we talked about two areas i guess, like you talked about work, get a job, which is social, or take a class, which is social, right? could this be a catalyst to talk about "future events", possibly? and you have to keep that in mind because it really expands… when you don’t have that self-censorship of what can i not say, what’s going to offend her, it makes it a lot easier, this whole kind of question that we started with at the very beginning of what to talk about. tell me to try to tell a woman i approach about a past experience, but i literally don't know where to start because i don't find any of it interesting to talk about.
Online dating running out of things to say so, yes, in those situations where you have to talk, the relaxed approach is the best approach, but turning the casual intro into a. if you can't entirely paint a picture of yourself through past experience, maybe you can start to fill in some blanks by talking about future events that interest you. i don't think it dehumanizes women more than it dehumanizes men when they're expected to be good talkers. like when women are open, funny and easy-going, and don't follow the contrived formal exchange of stories where i have to act "like the lead in a dance" because honestly, it's just unnatural and fake to me, and i don't think it's a natural and fun way to talk to people, which makes me completely uninspired to even talk to them. me, there's no *need* for stories, becaue it's possible to just… talk. no matter what, even if you keep things short and sweet, and remain a man of mystery, you still need to give enough pearls of information and lead into the next subject for her to know you aren't blowing her off.[bobby rio]: now, they’re not necessarily there to meet guys, but to practice your skills on them, i mean these girls, they’re going to talk to you. and the way you communicate is one way so if you find that a girl is not compatible with you or expects you to tell a story then there is no shame in moving on to a person who youre comfortable talking to. if you’re sitting there and you’re having the same sort of level of conversation for two-and-a-half hours, no matter what you’re talking about it’s going to start getting boring. this is all from personal experience, where i know myself or guys, they start talking about travel and they immediately want to talk about their vacation. everything that i’m going to be talking about i learned the hard way. learn that talking to them doesn't have to be any different from talking to your friends. when someone is talking you can see exactly what they're trying to communicate, what they're trying to hide, what kind of image they're trying to put up and what kind of responses they're fishing for.[bobby rio]: and for the next year i really just tore it up in college, and i wound up, again, now meeting a girl who i did really, you know, the homecoming queen of montclair, a girl i had a huge crush on, and wound up dating her and then kind of got into a relationship with her. man, i just want to say something there, because like, i mean, the way i kind of look at it, you’re talking about behaviors, right, rather than aspects of themselves, is like things they do. we speak about things we're passionate about we tend to bypass this logical self-filtering mechanism and speak from true emotions, this makes the conversation automatically become interesting., i don't see why validating someone as a conversational partner shows more respect for them as a human being than being attracted to them for their beauty?#45 angel donovanjackson hunter - bangkok dating: where to meet women, what to av. and i’m not talking about my job recently running psb magazine and dating advice. scenario probably sounds all too familiar for you, and when we sent out our survey the other week asking you what your main frustrations with dating are, this was your number two answer compromising twenty one percent of the responses. and i know that's probably an answer guys aren’t going to like, but if you’re the kind of guy who winds up in the friend zone a lot, it’s probably not a good idea for you to get a girl talking about her ex-boyfriend because if you don’t know how to handle that, you could wind up turning into her therapist and it could kind of kill the momentum or the attraction of the conversation. don't think experiencing something is the same thing as talking about it.[bobby rio]: and that experience probably was one of the best things that ever happened to me because i got to see just how raunchy and stuff girls actually are, like it was probably worse than being in a frat house listening to these girls talk about what guys they wanted to fuck, how much a guy was a pussy for not making a move. can i talk to the others, get a story about the situation and have it be interesting? you should do when you run out of things to say. matter why she is not contributing, it’s not healthy for the relationship to be the only one talking and investing, and therefore you must encourage her to talk as well. do you really want a girl who is going to talk for hours to basically a wall? i see people telling stories to other or when i talk to women and they start telling me stories, i just think, "where the heck is all of this coming from?'ve never befriended anyone who didn't talk about their past experiences at all, not male, not female., talk to people when they aren’t in a time crunch! about her: 7 things you need to compromise for the woman you love."listen in as we share the top takeaways from the best dating products ever created. they either go in and they put the spotlight on her by just drilling her with questions, which makes her uncomfortable and it creates sort of an awkward vibe, or they try to do all the talking about, you know, they’re either telling stories or they’re even using one of those, you know, something from like routines or something like that where they’re talking about something else, and now they’re putting the spotlight on them, which kind of is a lot pressure. that is, i think maybe you're afraid that what you have to talk about isn't as interesting as it "should be. many guys feel the solution to keeping a conversation going with a woman involves planning a long list of things to say that he can jump into incase he draws a blank. doesn't have to be the first thing you talk about, but if you expect to build any kind of a long-term (or even medium-term) relationship, it's rather expected that you'll talk about your past. there’s nothing you’re going to find out through an empty, shallow story that you won’t find out through just talking to me. why not let the girl you're talking to decide if she thinks you're interesting? think about the conversations you have with your friends, do you ever feel the need to keep talking just to be saying something? you have the opportunity to direct the conversation that can still say things about you. mentioned in this episode include:Conversation escalation: make small talk sexy: bobby rio's audio course teaching conversation skills. problem certainly isn't that women don't want to talk to me, nor is my attitude toward women a problem. and then at some point if you’re having a good time and you sense that there's flirting, you want to downshift a little bit, and at that point you begin to express a little bit of sexual aim to her and kind of feel her out on that level, because now you’re sort of opening up a whole other can of worms of things to talk about. if i meet a guy who looks like ian sommerhalder (my "cute guy" celebrity crush), but all he can talk about is sports scores and beer, i'll be out of there in about five minutes. other women complain that guys don't run to do things for them like they do for me, and attribute it to the flirting.
How To Talk To Women Confidently Without Running Out Of Things you're asking doc and the internet how to talk to women, but in parentheses you keep repeating how much you hate talking to women. you both happen to like the dave matthews band and she starts telling you about the concert she went to and now you’re both talking about your favorite songs and stuff, it’s very hard then to like kind of break away and get into that flirtatious mode. than that, i mean, there's really not anything that pops in my mind of like, “don’t talk about it. *completely* understand the purpose of storytelling that you are trying to explain to me, so please don't feel that i am disregarding your message, but the benefits of storytelling are also inherent in just talking to people without storytelling. those are sort of… they get the spotlight going, that i talked about earlier. the girls are going to talk to you, and now you can get good at it. what to do when you run out of things to say. what you need to do is stop with the creepy-ass pua shit and learn to talk to and relate to women as human beings. maybe from your point of view this is true, but the woman you're talking to may not feel this way. everyone does the same thing, and i don't feel like talking about stuff that people already know. maybe you feel more comfortable with doing something fun than talking about it, which is the way it is for me. my problem lies in actively taking initiative to talk to specific women i want to get to know better, and i can't seem to get it to work right.'re trying to reach for reasons to why you would view talking to women you are trying to pick up for in this certain way. so what i’ll do is if i’m out, you know, let's say i’m sitting at dinner, and dinner’s probably like the worst thing you can do as a first date with a girl, but let's just say you went out to dinner with a girl and you start running out of things to say, and let's say there was like a table, like a few tables up and there's like a swanky-looking kind of couple there, you can just make a comment about them, say, “you know, those two over there totally seem like the swanky seventies swinger type. way to always make sure your conversations are interesting is to talk about something you’re passionate about. a result you might end up talking about eating healthy, and you might discover new things about her. you’ll already know by now too, because i’m here smiling and talking to you! seem to assume that the social dynamics of the situation are binary: either you’re talking to a friend – in which case must stick to strictly boring, platonic topics – or you’re talking to someone whom you want to bone and therefore have license to flirt. love talking to guys and i love talking to women who are into me, because conversation is natural, flow nicely and is just all-around fun. the other half are emotions, emphasis on some little things the teller shows- what about the story made them happy, what was the saddest part, what were their thoughts at that time and why they acted how they acted. - how to never run out of things to say and make every conversation interesting. make a living creating successful dating profiles for men: here’s my top 5 tips.@ancom: i think i know why girls don't want to talk to you after a few minutes. i'm sorry if i'm triggering something with you that makes you feel that my mentality is perpetuating a social injustice, because i try to be as aware of these things as i can.'ve gotten a lot of comments suggesting aspergers/autism/asp or some other socially inhibiting condition, but really, i'm just a normal, flirty and sociable guy who isn't comfortable telling stories and talking about a whole lot of nothing. and the way i like to kind of explain it is imagine that there's like a giant spotlight, and when you go up to talk to a girl your goal is to get the spotlight shining on the two of you as quickly as possible. i also realized is that this is not how i talk to my guy friends at all! way you make this last three to six hours is by being interesting to talk to. i understand you have to be able to talk to people and keep up conversations with all kinds of people due to your job (or at least you had to 97 weeks ago…) so that is not an option for you. you’re not talking about fucking or anything like that. someone else is telling you a story and you just go blank and are completely uninterested, that's going to tell, and they're not going to want to talk to you at all anymore, even without stories. it doesn't sound like you have specific issues with carrying on smaller-talk conversations (e. stayed with her for a couple of years, and then college ended, and that's the point where college ended where i talked about how now i was sort of a fish out of water again, and that kind of brought me not back into the community per se, but it got me back into that mindset of, “i have to go out and learn this all over again. the kind of smalltalk i just gave you is the kind of constructed, canned bs i use in all social contexts. the reason i try to stress that is because a lot of guys say, “well, bobby, what should i talk about? you'd want to brag, show off, maybe not with strangers if you're shy or whatever, but even with your friends you'd want to talk about it, especially if there's shared interests.. "went to a club"), it's indirectly talking about yourself without having to try to fill out an online profile or have an interview. in these advice that you give out, do you put into consideration that some people are introverts and the much they can do is just dream of talking to that dream girl. if i had to listen to myself talking like that i'd just zone out or fall asleep standing. your unwillingness to invest time in talking about yourself, and allowing women you are interested in the same courtesy tell me that you might have some personal philosophy work that needs to be done before you're really ready. i just couldn’t imagine you in africa having to take a shower in a hut,” or just kind of talking about a subject but continually bringing it back to her or to you. so today i have bobby rio from make small talk sexy.[angel donovan]: okay, just to kind of reiterate, like what i’m getting from you is that you’re saying like, okay, there are good topics like travel, for instance, which are easy topics to start with and everyone can talk of them, but you really have to talk about these subjects in a certain way in order to get both of you involved rather than just to run through the topic and kind of dry it out. maybe i don't have an issue telling stories, but i don't ever find a lack of things to say to new people. but every time i talk to strange women, it appears as if this is how they want me to communicate with them, and it's just so very, very unnatural, boring and weird to me.
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