What does it mean if you are intimidating

it's probably that they are more invested in how they look to themselves and other men than to women, much more than they would like to admit. but it's not going to take away the basic requirement that we all have to mitigate our own individuality a bit in order to participate in the group project of getting along. note: of course those are the best guys, i'm one of them. i've gotten that comment a lot, and i'm pretty sure it's due to my lack of physical attractiveness. point being, i was no longer being aloof, and i was engaging with people at a far more intimate level. vt → einschüchtern; they intimidated him into not telling the police → sie schüchterten ihn so ein, dass er der polizei nichts erzählte; we won’t be intimidated → wir lassen uns nicht einschüchternintimidate [ɪnˈtɪmɪˌdeɪt] vt → intimidire; (witness) → minacciare, sottoporre ad intimidazioneintimidate (inˈtimideit) verb to frighten eg by threatening violence.” a man need a woman who let him be satisfied with himself as a man. except that then all the advice is either "choose somebody who is okay with you being assertive, smart etc. i've always sexually assertive, i never played mind games with men… i let them know very quickly if i was interested or not, and i didn't have them fooling around me without hope..Exactly sister you hit it on the head with your clue-by-four comment xd i think the whole problem with "intimidating women" is not how shy they are, for the most part the supposedly intimidating women of various levels of shyness all put their bit in to try to get guys. there is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria. it’s also interesting how some people change when they get promoted to a new “title” – almost as intimidating. perhaps all the white people should 'adapt' to get along in the coloured majority? course we all want to present ourselves as our best – the issue i have is that these qualities that are mentioned as being intimidating in women would be usually considered as positive things to have for men. some do seek out nerds, others are interested in men who are unattractive in the eyes of the world. it's not, i'd like to ask lots of guys why they seem to think it is. she’s geeky to her joss-whedon-loving core, a whovian, vertigo-reading, 3rd edition d&d (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. the last thing you want is a guy who needs constant reassurance that yes, you are happy with him and not looking for someone better. some women, it might involve a change to something she thinks is just on the surface and doesn't have much to do with her actual personality. i often struggle so much with anxiety that i pull away from others. powell on october 27, 2013 at 9:40 am said:Well for me spiritual beings having a human experience suffer from a spiritual malady., once you're in a relationship, the guy starts expressing that he's intimidated or threatened by your independence, your goals and ambitions, your career, or your intellect, then that's another matter." in fact, he acknowledged that that's the advice that women tend to get, and that it's not acceptable. view in contextbut, in such a cause, his anger, though it must shock, could not intimidate henry, who was sustained in his purpose by a conviction of its justice. even if you are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on., you have a very good point- but i know more than enough "intimidating" ladies, including myself who will tell a fellow she's interested in that she's…. a man who's upset because he feels that he's the inferior partner in a relationship needs an attitude adjustment not only in how he feels about himself, but in what he's assuming to be the proper power dynamic of all relationships. it's because they are making them up—the fear comes from much the same place the fear of random black men comes from; so please stop giving it credence by spouting these rationalizations. which only means greater acceptance, which i'm a fan of."he may be overwhelmed by the force of her personality and worry that he will be forced to be the inferior partner in the relationship. i can’t behave in ways or study models that will stop sexist or racist or anti-gay actions; i can only cheer on successes and try to change people who are sexist or racist or homophobic. or is she wanting to be pursued, and waiting for it? fact, i think many of them have better relationships than "attractive" people, because their partners have looked at who they are as a person, not who they are as a face, and love them because of who they are deep down inside. ask them to suggest alternative behaviors that express the message you’re trying to give others. like simple things so i narrow it down to one thing i should do more of and one thing i should stop. i guess i'd just ask that guys apply some sense of proportionality to things. because i project confidence, even when i'm not so confident, i express my opinions and am unafraid of them, and i follow through with ideas, i guess this is intimidating? =/ it's not just men that often want the man to be more 'dominating' than the woman, sometimes. i and my silicon valley engineer husband are both introverts. i play nice, but you can't lie forever and it's a lot worse to lose someone because they see you buy a book that's thicker or more complex than what they read or because you get an award/scholarship/accepted into a prestigeous program/other academic achievement than it is to scare someone off at first blush. shy and introverted as we know are not synonymous, but both types of people are gonna open up when they're comfortable. my girlfriends advice and mothers weren’t helpful, this laid it out perfectly thank you! in fact, going by the number of emails i get from my readers, it’s the most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating. i don’t talk academics either, unless explicitly asked and even then i only mention the very non-threatening trade-school diploma i’m working towards. it is difficult to figure it all out when you are the “principal player. next monday, i'll be talking about modern masculinity and what it means to be a man and why the old definitions don't hold up any more. these do not constitute crazy non-business like concerns: need a clear vision, project prioritization, enhanced more clear communication, etc.

What does it mean when someone calls you intimidating

it is difficult to accept that a woman who is my equal might also desire me as a man. responding to someone in such a bitter way is likely the sign of the woman projecting on to you what she feels about herself., i did address some of this in the post above you. is it when a not so good looking guy gets the hot chick they're envied but if a guy gets a not so good looking girl they're made fun of? could it be that, as a response to feeling like people are telling us to change, we actually ramp up our outgoing/competitive/intellectual/whatever nature without really realizing it?. to coerce or deter, as with threats: the police intimidated the suspect into signing a false statement. know, letting a smile slip every now and then, chatting with friends, or anyone. there are many many variables that the photo just doesn't reveal:"that two men state identical preferences but prefer. in fact, it's made me look even *stronger,* and it's harder to be dismissed as a "hysterical woman" when the velvet hammer is employed. but i tell you what, it can be pretty damned annoying having to swing a clue-by-four around wherever you go. i worried about being trapped in a lift with one guy. i really "intimidating" for not putting up with women's games?, do i hate to confess this, but the truth of the matter is sometimes, if i am honest, i consciously or subconsciously try to be intimidating. i fall into the intimidation is easy, even if you don’t mean to category. often find that only the 'intimidating' women are up to my standards., especially "geek" guys don't seem to like me as more than friend or want some sort of friends with benefits thing. is wrong that men can find smart, funny, attractive, (insert numerous positive adjectives here) women intimidating. being more open, inviting or friendly isn't about being more "ladylike" or "feminine", it's about making someone feel welcome. but some part of me just shuts down around people with overly assertive body-language (classic single-mother consequence? you're unnerved by a woman's sexual history because she has a history of unprotected sex and hasn't been regularly tested, that's one thing. the authors are aware of this flaw and suggest trying something else in future research. i don't know) are attracted to a lot of different things that are not surface deep; you can literally go from a 3 to a 8 in her eyes by merely talking to her. please, chase after your own prerogatives all you want, you exemplar of american exceptionalism). so when your advice boils down to "be more of a lady" repeatedly, it's going to rub the wrong way. to overawe or cow, as through the force of one's personality or by display of wealth, talent, etc. just becasue something is mainstream does not mean that it becomes immune to geekyness. women who have nerdy interests are frequently less traditionally “feminine”. come with their own potential pitfalls, and a woman that can avoid them is still an interesting woman to me. are very different questions, and i've met quite a few women who claim that that they are unattractive and that nobody likes them because "nobody asks me out" because they confuse the two. guys (like me), really like "intimidating" (read: manic and awesome) girls. me just say that there are some guys who love so-called "intimidating" women. even if that script isn't particularly working for them, it feels safe because it is what they know, even if they don't know it's what they're thinking. make it sound like i've got some kind of super-high super-picky standards or something but really i don't. feel following a fella or gal who has a true insight into the human condition makes sense. likewise, a partner who's had few sexual relationships may expect to know you quite well before the two of you have sex, which seems fair. we see our behavior as "just how we are," and, you know what, it *is* how we are. 0f 15 directors have left the organization in the last 3 years and the project is now “red” in many areas. small (that is, small compared to the substantial consensus shared by both genders, as implied in the abstract) difference can probably be understood by what i said above, "men are marketed a particular style of beauty more forcibly than women are". based on only that description, what do you think his chances in romance would be? that's handy… although you're right they too have to adapt and be more politically correct… what a burden it must be to have to not be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ablest, ageist, xenophobic and exploiting their privilege every day. this article didn't need to be anything other than advising men on how to work out their insecurities about why they find these behaviors intimidating. Find out what makes women intimidating and how to fix it..there are kind people out there- you had a mother- you don't need another. culture has a way of blurring the traditional lines of gender roles. they will have the same reaction even if you respond to them positively, if they were to approach, and for the exact same reasons. - make timid or fearful; "her boss intimidates her"affright, fright, frighten, scare - cause fear in; "the stranger who hangs around the building frightens me"; "ghosts could never affright her"hold over - intimidate somebody (with a threat); "she was holding it over him"ballyrag, boss around, browbeat, bully, bullyrag, hector, push around, strong-arm - be bossy towards; "her big brother always bullied her when she was young"2.'s not changing your personality, it's tweaking the delivery – it's no different than telling a nerd to take a shower and get something a little stylish to wear over the green lantern t-shirt when he goes out.

What does it mean when someone says your intimidating

from personal experience as an "intimidating" women who was previously engaged to an introverted, geeky man i can see where the women are coming from. nerdlove – keep in mind that as women we have to deal with this all the time. especially if you picked up any of the class handbooks. unless a guy is disrespectful in his approach, i don't understand why women don't just politely decline. the more we insist on being the way we want, the less likely we are to elicit the response we want from others. there was also an issue with the choice of which gender liked which characteristics… again a flaw, biased by the researcher's own ideas on what men and women like. when people work to overcome such behavior, they start creating platform to connect with people. it’s kind of awesome watching a woman win an argument with her eyelashes and a tightening of the cheeks and a particular lean of the shoulders – i wish i had that level of mastery of female prosody. it doesn't mean you're changing your personality, or that you'll always act different towards people.'m sorry to say that it doesn't get any better with age… i could be a poster girl when it comes to be an "intimidating" woman… i was a tomboy well into my teens, i didn't have much of a female role model while growing into womanhood, i got an engineering degree at 21, had to pick a guy and ask him to take my virginity, eventually he dumped me for more traditional girl. don't know how to make it work…maybe i need to take an earlier poster's advice and move out west, where at least the hippie-types will be attracted to my outward serenity :p. me not saying "retard" (i really hate that word) is not the same as, to use the hair analogy, being considered politically threatening and unprofessional for having my hair neat, clean, tied back but in it's natural texture. both of the quotes point out that this is clearly the way someone might feel as opposed to any sort of objective reality, so i'd agree that its a problem of attitude and i don't see anything else being implied. our "intimidating" woman making it *clear* to the people she's interested in that she is interested? if i see a women out in public, but she doesn't appear to be approachable, i would use the word; unapproachable. i personally like it when a woman is full of self confidence. i see these women out in public such as bars, or concerts, or social events, i will not approach them, as those are the ones that reject the hardest/meanest. considering that this sounds like your average alpha male, i'd bet pretty good. to stick with your person of color / gay analogy, yes, these people have to adapt to a majority society that is different than them, just like you and i do, just like nerd boys do. most, if not all of my friends were and are girls. if you present yourself as confident, sure of yourself, and encounter an insecure guy, he is going to be intimidated by your relative greater amount of confidence with yourself. we requested a meeting with the senior team so we could facilitate a process between the two teams that we hoped would bring forth clear understanding. my guy friend a long time ago once told me that the guys who were interested but didn't say anything were just intimidated; i didn't quite get that.? well, i think that it is because i am insecure on some level & i think that i can cover that by being intimidating. could be youre demeanor, it could just mean that you're really attractive and they don't want to be turned down, so they just look. we get it when we're told to protect against rapists instead of telling the rapists not to rape. there is no trope of the "intimidating man", and no blog post about being less of an "intimidating person" when it comes to dating. don't capitulate to any guy who needs you to pretend you're some kind of childlike being so his fwagile ego can handle it. they think that if you were in a speed dating setting where more cues were available the results would be different. there is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria. is no trope of the “intimidating man”, and no blog post about being less of an “intimidating person” when it comes to dating. to make timid; fill with fear: the size of the opposing players intimidated us. wide smiles that reach your eyes (the “duchenne smile”) and open, welcoming body language can make a shy or introverted guy feel more welcome. but men who try to get into discussions with me seem to be expecting an ego stroke (i honestly don't know why). men who are intimidated by women are very rarely intimidated by them physically. that makes the pool of date-able men a bit more shallow because you have to weed out the insecure ones who can't handle an 'intimidating' woman. just tried my best to write it in her dialect. i got a little annoyed myself, so i guess my last post wasn’t very good. im not a mean person but i guess you can say i look mean., people of colour should be less overtly different to the white society around them? (some might even develop a shouty nature unconsciously, because thery're every bit as socially skilled as male nerds). i will add, to everyone: i have never put up with this kind of insulting roleplaying. are her expectations in the interactions that she's having at the comic book store, in her classes/work, at conventions.., the difference is that the behaviours you described in don't be a creeper (awesome post, by the way) are indeed intimidating. when reading it i was struck by several obvious flaws, such as the attributing of characteristics to the still photos. sometimes these determined women are doing the exact same things as men, but because they are women, and women are 'supposed' to be meek and shy, they are seen as very aggressive. to me (a guy), it's not a matter of measuring up but a matter of personal safety.

What does it mean when someone finds you intimidating

maybe you're someone who never minimises your anxiety, neuroticness, clinginess, and self-doubt to focus on the more witty, friendly and above all unscary side of yourself when approaching someone new. saying "think about your tone," and offering ways to modify your approach (including not pursuing guys who are going to be automatically turned off by strong women), he's suggesting more self-awareness., sorry, i meant to add a question: when you are just getting to know someone, do you act just the same as you would towards someone you have known for years? she’s too loud / too boisterous / a little too non-ladylike. a leader must have confidence in their people and show them your confidence by allowing them to grow and even fail without the “i told you so. intimidating things that i would like to see deleted: staring, arms folded, frowning instead of speaking, rolling one’s eyes, speaking in a disrespectful tone, getting in somebody’s face, etc. but instead of tips on what changes to make to be more attractive to peole in general, somehow one feels that it might be more practically productive to give advice on how to identify these paragons who appreciate one's true personality (i have reliable reports that they are not merely imaginary) and the most likely places where to find them. of course, all this meant was that the rater's rating of 'attractive' was being taken as agreement with the researcher's idea of what confident looked like. are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening?, the meeting between the senior team and their directs will occur and i am quite anxious about making sure the lower level team does not get slaughtered given our experience. before choosing whether or not to enter a sexual relationship with a partner, i'm concerned about the context in which she engages sexually. they also note that a stated preference based on a photo does not mean that in a real situation, a person will actually go for that person. i honestly expected this was the place i wouldn't find it. i'm not sure there's any aspect of our lives where someone hasn't given us this advice in order to "get by". the others, however, were reacting solely to the news that i was in a long-term relationship, and thus it was somehow "safe" to tell me, now. intimidate implies the presence or operation of a fear-inspiring force: "it [atomic energy] may intimidate the human race into bringing order into its international affairs" (albert einstein). over time the more junior team (the entire team) came to us with a collection of concerns they had with their leadership. read on it (disclaimer: am male) is that it's not arguing a women should change their personalities, but how they present themselves at the start of some sort of involvement with a potential partner they're interested in. problem isn't trying to attract just any random man, it's finding those men who do find these personality traits attractive.يُرْهِبُيُفْزِع، يُخيف، يُرْعِبzastrašitintimidereskræmmeeinschüchternεκφοβίζωintimidarpelotellaintimidermenacerredouterprestrašitihræîa, ógnaintimidireintimorireintimidatoriointimidazioneおじけづかせる위협하다įbauginimasiebaidītiebiedētintimiderentrueonieśmielićintimidarзапугиватьпугатьskrämmaข่มขู่คุกคามgözünü korkutmakđe dọa恫吓胁迫intimidate [ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt] vt → intimidarintimidate [ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt] vt → intimiderto intimidate sb into doing sth → intimider qn pour qu'il fasse qchthey attempted to intimidate people into voting for the governing party → ils tentaient d'intimider la population pour qu'elle vote en faveur du parti au pouvoir. while there are plenty who can appreciate an outgoing partner – one who would compliment them, be the yang to their yin – more are likely to feel steamrolled by someone so dominant. you just heard that i have a boyfriend, and that is your first reaction? stephen – thanks for sticking with it, and for being more polite than i was. i know they speak german in austria, but that doesn't look like the classic german i learned in school. the creeper is about women feeling in physical danger… and given the level of rape (depending on where you read) is it any wonder they are constantly warned of dangerous men in the media. many a time, i've been in a social situation with other, similarly strong, independent women, and their behavior has totally turned *me* off.’s silly that guys i meet feel so sensitive to these things especially when i’m still letting them have their shine in other ways. some guys may see that as intimidating because that goes against the typical "fragile feminime" stereotype. i can't tell if you're coming at this from an honest place, or trolling, or willfully misinterpreting me in order to raise dudgeon and release it., yes, what is with guys who need a bat signal? if i am not trying to be intimidating, then i think that the person who feels intimidated should ask themselves what is going on w/ them. in my experience at least, having known me for a bit makes it easier to not be intimidated when i start opening up, if i'm not too abrupt about it. don't get called out for their behavior as often as "intimidating" women do, no… and this is a social factor. point that i'm trying to make is that one can be both "intimidating" and "approachable. you are supposed to be outgoing and quiet and do all the things you said. i play nice, but you can’t lie forever and it’s a lot worse to lose someone because they see you buy a book that’s thicker or more complex than what they read or because you get an award/scholarship/accepted into a prestigeous program/other academic achievement than it is to scare someone off at first blush. doesn't bother me if i make more than a man, i still know how to give him his space to feel manly. having a strong, outgoing personality isn't a bad thing, but it's going to be too much for some people, especially nerds and geeks who tend towards the introverted side of the personality spectrum. a lot of guys *want* to approach that "intimidating" woman, but there's something that keeps them away. many times, we believe that we are right but others feel opposite. you wanna follow a person who states that arrogantly with no interest in finding out if they are right? this article isn't about making yourself *less* intimidating, it's about coming across as *more* approachable., there are fewer women who are intimidated by the prospect of dating a man who is more successful than her, or or by one who is the alpha partner in the relationship. i also have more traditionally feminine hobbies such as appreciation for art and nature, cooking and dancing. but the sheer number of sexual partners doesn't equal having an sti. and i like them to have a basic goodness to them, a kind of happy, hopeful, loving disposition. sometimes, a guy will ask if i'll be around studying on a saturday, and if i might like to join, but it's never an actual date, where we're sitting down and eating dinner together after a movie.

What does it mean when you are intimidating

that i am a feminist so this probably colours my thinking on gender roles… i think that it is possible to be a woman in many different ways, including being openly smart and assertive, even in our current society. am one of those late bloomers you were talking about. inferior is not, after all, a synonym for introverted, less dominant, passive, or any other trait that is likely to be stronger in one partner than the other in any relationship. also, my demeanor is very reserved, making me hard to read.'ve sent far more messages online than i've received (by about a 5 to 1 ratio), and inevitably, if a guy writes back, it'll just be weeks and weeks of correspondence. intimideer يُفْزِع، يُخيف، يُرْعِب сплашвам intimidar zastrašit einschüchtern skræmme εκφοβίζω, τρομοκρατώintimidar heidutama مرعوب کردن uhkailla intimider לְהַפחִיד धमकाना strašiti megfélemlít mengancam, mengintimidasi hræða, ógna intimidire おどす 위협하다 įbauginti iebaidīt; iebiedēt mengugut intimiderenskremme, true zastraszyć ډارول، ويره اچول intimidar a intimida запугивать zastrašiť ustrahovati zastrašiti skrämma, hota ขู่ gözünü korkutmak 恫嚇 залякувати, страхати دھمکی دینا đe dọa 恫吓inˌtimiˈdation noun intimidasie تَخْويف، إفْزاع، إرهاب заплашване intimidação zastrašování die einschüchterung skræmmen εκφοβισμόςintimidación heidutamine هراس انگیزی uhkailu intimidationהפחדה धमकी zastrašivanje, zastrašenost megfélemlítés ancaman, intimidasi ógnun; kúgun intimidazione おどし 위협 įbauginimas iebaidīšana; iebiedēšana ugutan intimidatieskremming, trusler zastraszenie ډار اچونه intimidação intimidare запугивание zastrašovanie ustrahovanje zastrašivanje hotelse การขู่ gözünü korkutma 恫嚇 залякування; страх ڈراوا sự đe dọa 恫吓intimidate → يُرْهِبُ zastrašit intimidere einschüchtern εκφοβίζω intimidar pelotella intimider prestrašiti intimidire おじけづかせる 위협하다 intimideren true onieśmielić intimidar запугивать skrämma ข่มขู่คุกคาม gözünü korkutmak đe dọa 胁迫. you're automatically assuming that her behaviour is excessive just because she is being perceived as intimidating. and further, it's that kind of arrogant self-aggrandizing, so lauded in the business-world, that is perfectly simpatico with social and economic exploitation of oppressed peoples (do you by any chance work in finance or academia?" and at the same time, we're wondering, "why the hell isn't it working? if someone else (male or female) acting that same way would make you feel uncomfortable, then maybe you need to adjust yourself (and if you have a higher tolerance for arrogance or opinionated discussion, maybe see how other people feel about it). i dress lady like, act lady like, enjoy being treated traditionally lady like, and all my closest friends are women. see the spiritual dudes living in mansions puffing up their own ego really only showing they are totally off.. should i take a similar approach at reducing potential intimidation or just change my interaction styles when dealing with each team member separately based on their personalities? people fear the people they are working for, their intentions for doing a good job are more for self preservation than delivering excellence to their customers. if i'm being mugged i hand over my wallet, but it's not my responsibility to hold out my wallet all day long in case a mugger wants to mug me…. of the site is geared towards telling male nerds to get what they don't have, and the best way to do that is to appeal to as many people as possible (usually through traits and skills they don't have at all and have to change or develop)… only fair the ladies have to as well. point that i'm trying to make is that one can be both "intimidating" and "approachable. or he may just be the sort of person who prefers a quieter, demure, more “feminine” personality. personally, i don't find strong or smart women intimidating (in fact, that is the only kind of woman i could date). someone takes away your power, your agency and/or your rights. it's as if the review sites are operating on scale from 5 to 10 instead of 1 to 10. is it understandable that a woman who is being obnoxious in the name of "not changing" is still being obnoxious? the madonna is not an intimidating woman, but golly, the whore is. n- i plan on taking your advice to mind the next time i'm out. nerdlove: open mouth, insert foothow to introduce kink into your relationship5 times when you shouldn’t be datingavoiding the friend zonehow to have an amazing relationship. it is natural for people to hold grudge about others when they do not like, question,or do not accept the ideas or opinion. all people are different and some are better matches for you than others, yes. i prefer highly feminine women, sometime lacking confidence but who are extremely decent, honest, and unselfish.., i usually agree with you on a bunch of stuff but i wonder if you're just not seeing it here. well, of course you can, but that means you have to modify how you present. probably highly intelligent and english is your second language, right? as i've said many times in many articles, women are culturally socialized to "go along to get along". the company is undergoing major changes and in the process our team began working with the direct reports of the senior team and the two project sponsors who are members of the senior team. men are marketed a particular style of beauty more forcibly than women are, but just take a look at all the couples you pass on the street. but no, they all pick less "intimidating" women along the way… sometimes they may come back and tell you they regret it, but the damage is done., women get an even less positive response, if they try to use men’s prosody – i’ve known some women who got very good response to their assertiveness, because they worked within traditionally female prosody. can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her. and there's a contradiction there: how can i possibly be looked up to by someone who i look on as an equal partner? i'm 30 but i am baby faced so i'm frequently mistaken for much younger to the point where i get carded for liquor, r rated movies and m rated games. a creepy guy may not intend to be a threat, just as a woman with a strong and outgoing personality may not intend to overpower or overwhelm someone who is shy or introverted but the end result is the often the same: the person on the receiving end is not interested in the other person as a romantic partner. whereas women are more likely to judge men on other characteristics that the photos just didn't do. agree with you, alice, in thinking that such a front and eye were formed rather to intimidate than to deceive; but let us not practice a deception upon ourselves, by expecting any other exhibition of what we esteem virtue than according to the fashion of the savage. the fact of the matter remains: the prettier you are, the more likely that guys are going to have a hard time feeling comfortable approaching you., i think that's a really amusing response to a post about men finding women intimidating. being said, having fewer partners and choosing partners who have had fewer partners is also a way of reducing risk, and it's a valid choice. eventually the "omg someone likes me" will wear off, and they'll realize they just enjoyed the flattery, not the actual reality, of the girl. unless things in your neck of the woods are incredibly different from mine, men aren't randomly coming up to a woman and saying "yup, too intimidating, i'd never date you.

What does it mean when someone says you are intimidating

), don't be too publicly smart, don't be too open about how many people you've slept with for fear of him being upset. my answer is that, while women are making great strides in changing what it means to be female, men are still idealizing the notion of the male that has existed for thousands of years. i have a colleague that is 6’11” and he really experiences it. you present yourself is a personal choice, and i don't always show my "true self" to everybody either, for various reasons. and the people that say you are intimidating never show any sign of uneasiness when interacting with you either or makes any comment on it. enjoy interesting discussions with everyone no matter the gender, but its true that the girls who im interested for a relationship tend to be the ones that give me an ego stroke in whatever related with what i find valuable in a man, hahaha. glad you found a partner you didn't have to change for. the ultimate goal is being sure your exterior behaviors align with your authentic self. not to mention you still come down to the same list of options: rail against the system? if you (again, generic you) are the sort of person who lectures rather than converses or the sort of person who talks down to people or uses their intelligence like a club, this is going to turn people off. there is a suggestion there that men are more socially conditioned to rate women 7,8,9,10. i am a very warm person, but i will admit, i have no time for bullsh*t and will call it when i see it if necessary (of course at the appropriate time). of stated preferences is that one is unable to compare. can assure you, plenty of non-conventionally-"attractive" women are in relationships, and even get married. think doc should have just had you write the article. our "intimidating" woman waiting for the man to make the first move? find the thought of having to go to the clinic far more intimidating than i do measuring up to her previous partners. if she is hot then yes, there are other men you are competing with. the whole idea of this fill me with an incredible fear. nerds should tone down a bit if they want to get along, men or women.'ve been told by more than a handful of guys that I'm intimidating, but I think it's a crock. sure it "works" for a poc to make sure they never have "political" hair in the office (yes, they get this kind of advice, and for the record, political hair apparently is any hairstyle that is natural for their hair and isn't straightened at great pain and expense to be just like white hair), and the soldier could just never have a photo of their loved one on their desk or never bring their partner to social gatherings, but it's not right. rules and mechanics down pat, it felt like 3rd was dumbed down…. browbeat suggests the persistent application of highhanded, disdainful, or imperious tactics: browbeating a witness. unfortunately, now i have this problem with other women where i work as a volunteer. if it were as easy as trying to be outgoing and getting a guy we wouldn't be stressed, the problem is that going out and being outgoing is the turn-off apparently! intimidating woman is not putting the man in a position of physical danger. the same way any issue with one of your exes would color how you view romantic possibilities with new acquaintances.'m not sure why men are so damn intimidated, if that's what they are. thompson on october 28, 2013 at 11:14 am said:Unintended intimidation will always be a thorn until leaders really make an attempt to understand their people and the efforts their people are making to produce excellent results. me ask you a question – when, in your opinion, would have been a good time for these guys to ask you about it and find out – when they thought you were interested in them – if you were actually interested in them, or if they were off base? it's part of the madonna/whore complex (which i thought the dr covered just fine), it's not just about sex. but men i meet still seem “intimidated” by it or they just think i'm sexually attractive and nothing deeper. view in contextyou are quite wrong, excellency, if you think that your presence will intimidate them; nothing intimidates them. on one hand, we're being asked, "why are you still single? on the other hand, the "creeper" usually has sufficient privilege that he gets away with his behaviour for most of his life, and it's only when he's trying to date that it backfires on him., what is also being pointed out, is that all people (men and women) need to be self-aware. there's no reason you can't maintain your "intimidation" factor, while also increasing your "approachability. saying that it's 'privilege' to say that people have different expectations of men vs. and it's not a woman's responsibility to get you out of your shell anyway. to stick with your person of color / gay analogy, yes, these people have to adapt to a majority society that is different than them". you haven't already, i actually suggest you read the piece on this blog about privilege as it's the crux of this whole discussion. they also noted several issues with their results:"however, comparisons of the level of., that's not an ideal lesson to get from criticisms of patriarchy.'ve mentioned this before, but whenever i've done the pursuing and initiating of romance with nerd boys, it's turned out very, very badly for me.'t assume that all of us who have been labeled "intimidating" (how many times…uncountable) are extroverts. the most part, i do not find intimidation to be attractive whether it is occasionally in me or someone else.

What does it mean when guys say you are intimidating

while it does imply that men agree more, it's hardly supporting your point that men have a consensus and women don't. “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once. you say, why in the world would you do that? as a leader, it does not have to be your way. have: be nice, open, welcoming, be interested in what he has to say, tone it down, don't be obnoxious, soften your language, smile, use a higher pitched voice (! to stick with your person of color / gay analogy, yes, these people have to adapt to a majority society that is different than them, just like you and i do, just like nerd boys do. -_- and i think a couple of these translations could have fit that situation. happens if some of your team says that you are intimidating to them but you only hear it from someone else. then what about someone who learns to be more professional in the working world? this is really a question, i'm really curious if you thought it was a timing thing., confident women will often be told by guys that they're "intimidating". it only takes one wrong encounter to get an std, so numbers alone are not enough to determine how safe it would be to have sex with someone. some women are just naturally more outgoing and rowdy; the loud group of party girls are a regular feature of many parties, bars, and club scenes. be due either to the gender of the participants or to. all of which are good in some metrics, and have variable efficies. it's absolutely outrageously galling that i will sit in on meetings and observe men behaving in certain ways (asserting themselves, interrupting others, putting their ideas forward, monopolizing discussion) and it's accepted as normal by the society of egoes. bring up a topic calmly, and i will be the most engaging and insistent debater you will ever meet. he may feel as though he’s going to have to put on a performance in order to keep up with her.’s advice all over this site telling men how to adapt – i would expect any article on women from him to be telling women how to adapt. i said in a comment to someone else that it’s a trade-off: the more you insist on going your own way, the more self you get to express – but the less likely you are to elicit a wanted response. i know there are answers to them, but they're answers that are difficult to internalize. to think of it, the pokemon song is a pretty good theme song for this blog. now i know why those folks did not want to just talk directly to their bosses who, as you aptly say, believe they have the right to intimidate those below them, don’t know they are and don’t understand the consequences., a lot of this advice boils down to "be more of a woman" advice that us intimidating women have been putting up with for aaaaaages. no one would tell me what i was doing that was so intimidating. the best men are the ones who need a stronger woman to be their equal in a relationship. he may be overwhelmed by the force of her personality and worry that he will be forced to be the inferior partner in the relationship. guys who are inexperienced in dating (that is to say, me up till recently), make two false assumptions about how woman are attracted to men. it takes a while until i relax in the presence of new people. i believe it's true, and i believe many women now alive want exactly that: an equal partner. intimidate synonyms, intimidate pronunciation, intimidate translation, English dictionary definition of intimidate. ignored but where does one draw the line on how gay, black, etc someone is allowed to be in white male normal society? i think a lot of modern men are confused about what they truly desire on a biological level. someone who will call them on their shit and argue with them and debate and have hot, post-argument sex. i'd be interested to know how you tell the difference. most people are mature enough to not make the mistakes i look out for as dealbreakers. i have met men who don't get me at all, and men who would lay down and die for me – mostly the latter because being yourself is incredibly attractive to men – i don't compromise who i am for anyone. sometimes, it's just "smile…bitch" but no, literally those exact words from people you live or work with, and were blithely walking past in public, most of them claiming you did something to cause it, but when asked for specifics, they don't know any.'m not proposing that an obnoxious woman just stroll around being obnoxious and anybody who suggests she does otherwise is sexist, but you have to admit that what counts as obnoxious for a woman is usually when she strays too far from being a nice little woman. if someone is telling you (generic you) that you intimidate them and therefore they don't want to date you, you have some choices. but just give us a shot and i'm sure we can work it out. patriarchy gave entitlement to one group and disenfranchised another based on the idea that it was necessary for there to be inequality–necessary for both parties. post starts out with describing this smart, good-looking, successful woman and we're led to believe there isn't anything wrong with her. it's annoying that we are required to be twice as driven and ambitious to be taken seriously in the workplace, and when we do that, we are labeled as monsters who run over everybody else. get that in certain situations you may have to act a certain way for your immediate safety but it shouldn't the standard operating procedure, y'know? disagree with the ideas expressed in the "she's more sexually experienced than me" part of the essay. are you saying that any adaptation at all is bad?

Intimidate - definition of intimidate by The Free Dictionary

would you rather be entitled to be who you are? i don't think your intention was to suggest that there's obligatorily an inferior partner in all relationships, the language used strongly implies just that – 'the' inferior partner, not 'an' inferior partner – and that it's normally the female, which makes it uncomfortable for the male when the tables are turned and it's him instead. i just don't have a desire to ever be in an intimate relationship with a strong independent woman. someone having to be politically correct is not the same burden as a poc/homosexual/woman. i have always tried so hard to project that you can come to me about anything, but i refuse to hole into myself, swallow that which i am passionate about, and become a decoration just so others feel more comfortable. accepting that you are not everyone's favorite meal is the best thing you can do for yourself -then move on and be the best you, you can be. you only have one life to live, and you should have what makes you happy. interactions with the team certainly will help leaders know their teams and in turn the teams get to know them.: there are guys who see past physical flaws, just as there are with women. do you have anything to say but 'play down your strengths so that men don't run for the hills'? is like following a person right now who says the sun revolves around the earth. a strong, independent, intellectual woman who has had to compete with "the guys" academically, professionally, and personally, i totally understand the challenges inherent in the situation. i find a meek feminine voice to be bliss inducing (yes i literally feel bliss listening to some women's voices). you need to look into stereotyping and its use instead of assuming this is valid on the part of the men involved. i’m still meeting men who seem “put off” by what i share about my achievements (and they ask, i don't just start talking about them out of the blue). it will appear that she probably isn't really enjoying herself, or being natural., when dealing with men like this it might help to play the innocent, reserved, respectful, submissive mouse. women refusing to be less than they are only takes something away from men in the worldview that men aren't enough in themselves to get by in the world. don't necessarily say that it's a woman's responsibility to help me out of my shell, just that she's welcome to try if she wants to. in your details below or click an icon to log in:Email (required) (address never made public). i love it when i walk into a facility where the team is a seamless blend of leadership at all levels. i can hear a women on the phone and instantly know it won't work. if it is not, then either the woman is wrong to be strong and confident or the man is wrong to be intimidated., the abstract directly contradicts the link you provided, which claims that "study finds consensus among men, not women". the doc explicitly says in this article (twice, if i’m correct) that a lot of this advice goes for both genders. if someone's getting negative reactions to her personality and is unhappy about that, i think it's at least worth considering things that others might be reacting badly to. seek their best interests:The door of influence opens when others believe you seek their best interests. you can go religious, yep like cardinal bling and his 42 million dollar home improvement project. - to compel or deter by or as if by threatsrestraindaunt, frighten away, frighten off, scare away, scare off, pall, scare, dash - cause to lose courage; "dashed by the refusal"discourage - deprive of courage or hope; take away hope from; cause to feel discouragedintimidateverb frighten, pressure, threaten, alarm, scare, terrify, cow, bully, plague, menace, hound, awe, daunt, harass, subdue, oppress, persecute, lean on (informal), coerce, overawe, scare off (informal), terrorize, pressurize, browbeat, twist someone's arm (informal), tyrannize, dishearten, dispirit, scare the bejesus out of (informal), affright (archaic), domineer attempts to intimidate people into voting for them failed. agree that almost any characteristic can become obnoxious, if taken to extremes – is that what you were thinking? it makes no sense – if anything, that would be an ego boost. contend that we are people first and foremost while the title helps to clarify where the greater accountabilities lie. i'm not saying it's easy or that it won't be incredibly frustrating – or even heartbreaking – under the best of circumstances, but your (general you) choices are between time + effort or giving up entirely. there are much fewer women who feel threatened by the concept of dating a man who has had more sexual partners or sexual experience than she has. thing about language, though, is that however correct it may be, if you're communicating something other than what you intend, it's on you to clarify. but this factor always seems to bug them, yet men complain how women feel entitled to be paid for? also: men who're into large women but won't be seen in public with them for fear of what his friends will say. on october 27, 2013 at 10:08 am said:It’s interesting how titles can intimidate. my advice isn't "be more of a lady", it's "be more self-aware". isn't a very straightforward or simple issue, either: it is true that people can be obonoxious about their smarts or about insisting on an opinion until the bitter end and so on. i was also still a little intimidating (primarily in terms of quirky wit and etiquette), but only insofar as i wanted to attract my social equals." in fact, i've been told just the opposite (and, honestly, sometimes i'm really *too* approachable). i was totally asexual/agender through the first two-and-a-half years of high school, so when i found out my forceful personality kept me from having to deal with people i wasn't interested in, i had no qualms, whatever. and to be perfectly frank (not to downplay your frustration, which i understand), the idea that women aren't as visual or as interested in physical looks is being fairly well debunked; you can see the trends in male fashion, body type, even porn changing as people start to realize that women look at guys the way that guys look at women. guys like small, large, and in between, tall, short, dark, light, big boobs, small boobs, etc, and (just like women) a guy who falls for someone will think that person is amazing looking, even if she's not necessarily his "type". still, when i say i'm single, that's the kind of thing i hear:– you're too smart, men don't like smart women. men are frequently shallow and a man's stereotypical "worth" is defined by the level of beauty he can attract.

What to Do When Your Coworkers Find You Intimidating - Glassdoor

. when a (straight) guy in the dating world is "intimidating", he is usually coming off as threatening or creepy. maybe you're not like that, but if you remind a woman of a previous relationship that worked that way then she'll automatically be suspicious that you are., as i said above, this is an issue that us so-called intimidating women are getting hit with *all* *the* *time*. other words, is she asking "why aren't you attracted to me? don't tell us how we can change ourselves for the male gaze – our social skills are our own problem. if you are following a person not wiling to investigate what they think in one area you can be assured they are close minded in other areas. i'm an introvert, i want an extrovert to help me out of my shell, or at least someone i can watch and be an extrovert vicariously. if not, if a woman is truly suffering from gender bias, then fuck the weak guys who can't take it. but we're still struggling with outdated gender norms and until those are fixed, strong women will make us feel insecure. people usually see sex as something special and when guys or girls just kinda see it casually it turns people off because they come as as not being very serious about you, or you're being used. this doesn't change the fact that when women find men intimidating, it is most often because they are perceived as a physical threat.'m a seemingly outgoing introvert (seemingly only because i only talk a lot with you willingly if you like you, so of course my friends forget i can be quiet) who has really only dated other introverts, naturally and also for my sanity. me put it this way, this advice is like telling a person of colour that in order to succeed in business they had to be less black. register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! everything else is an extension of where we start, is it not? in other cases, she might decide that it's a core part of her being and she's ok with only appealing to a limited audience. i know you have the best intentions, believe me, but given some women here are taking issue with/ saying you're off on this, maybe you're off on this? doctor who is mainstream and culturalin the uk but its still sci-fi and draws in geeks. just like how if any male made such a bold assertion, he''d be labeled as anti-progressive, misogynist, domineering, etc etc ad infinitum. on november 3, 2013 at 5:48 pm said:A wise person helped me see i could be intimidating."similarly, if a man is interested in a woman who’s more in line with the idea of more traditionally feminine or lady-like behavior, he isn’t going to make for a good boyfriend for an outgoing, dominant or non-traditional lady. the only people who don't need to adapt to get along are white, straight, socially 'normal' men? harry potter is geeky, yet it's one of the most popular franchises in recent history. i've seen the effect it can have (quite striking; pardon the pun), and it's what i've chosen to strive for in my own interactions. if it comes down to changing everything about my personality (and that's on top of the constant advice about how a woman should look), or staying alone forever…. you say i am misinterpreting you… you said that poc/gay people needed to conform 'to some degree' 'to get along'… i want to know why and who makes the call on to what degree? it's served me well, and hasn't required that i change who i am, or try to make myself look less intellectual. if a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?'m just bowing out of these comments now, and, with a genuinely heavy heart, unsubscribing from this whole mess. the women i'm interested in, who share my love of learning, skill acquisition, and getting out in the world, don't remotely do it in my laid-back, judge not lest manner. i'm sure you'll talk about next week, the traditional roles/definitions of masculinity don't hold up now (and maybe never did). and while some women might find this advice useful for them (and if it makes them happier, coolbeans), for me i'm very glad i have a partner who thinks i'm a stunner, and smart, and opinionated (well, if you've read this far, you're hardly surprised, right?'d like to point out one of many reasons for why these women might have adopted being intimidating:I went to a technical school, and even after dropping out, i pursued a career in the field i had "learned". i think this is perceptual gap and need is to bridge the others perception by positive action. well, of course you are, but that has consequences one has to deal with. thing is that intimidating doesn’t just happen at the begining of a relationship. is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at christina hendricks2 and her admittedly less symmetrically-gifted husband. my interpretation is that they were saying “why are you bothering important people like us with these trivial concerns? you said that you could go from a '3 to an 8 by talking' to a women. what we have here is men, who's egos are unable to handle strong, confident, outspoken women. i don't talk academics either, unless explicitly asked and even then i only mention the very non-threatening trade-school diploma i'm working towards. man does not need to be dominated any more than a woman wants to be dominated and abused- if they attempt to intimidate or have that persona. i pretty academic, and i rarely spoke unless i was passionate about the subject at hand, so you can imagine how people reacted when the "voluntary mute" rushes into a debate headlong, with blue eyes blazing. that might not be the right guy for you, unless those statements are followed by something to the effect of, "but i want to find a way to reconcile those feelings, because i love you the way you are and i want to be with you, and i don't want you to change for me. need to adapt to be liked by men… to get along because men are treating them with the same level of respect as property but that's not the men's fault? be honest, from this side it seems like the problem is mostly with the men who find these women intimidating, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it other than give in to that.'ve also been in many situations with strong women in which they use what i like to call "the velvet hammer.

10 Guys Reveal What They Mean When They Say A Girl Is

i could study that prosody just like someone studies a language (because it is a language, only one without words), and in fact doing just that has brought me more success in interacting with others. are all factors–things you're not supposed to be if you are a woman. think this article has a lot of great points about why men find these types of women intimidating, and i agree that toning down behaviors that are actively aggressive or oppressive (not just misconstrued as such) is a good thing for dating and socializing (and i'm guilty of doing this, as a competitive, argumentative woman). is an old saying "never make a contentious woman your wife" - contention means contest- you don't want a woman around that is constantly seeking control - some one that is competitive with you. it's not that this is bad advice (the caveats dr. and you might be the top of the list so long as you keep your chin up. – she hears the same thing over and over again:“you’re too intimidating…”. are here: home / communication / the “intimidating” woman« previous 1 2 view all next »i want to introduce you to someone. lot of us strong, "intimidating" women tend to dig our heels in against change just as much as the shy nerd-boys do. and yet, friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying all the sex while she’s at home with fringe on the dvr and a bottle of malbec breathing in the kitchen. tell a friend about us, add a link to this page, or visit the webmaster's page for free fun content. clustered closer to the scale minimum, it is possible that men.'s also more likely that a man will fudge what he does or doesn't find attractive to "fit in. in a few cases, it might even be that a habit or two is causing people to perceive someone in a way she doesn't feel is accurate at all. in relation to the article: how do you know if the "you're intimidating" is for the reasons dr. the crux of it is, this is an issue of sexism." these women use their force of personality and intellect to establish themselves in a conversation or a situation. you have the choice of either looking for people who are in tune with that personality, or you have the choice of making adjustments if the people you are attracted to are going to react badly to it. if you expect your sex partners to restrict their activities to relationships, then a similar and even more effective form of risk reduction would be for you to do the same, even if a tempting opportunity arises. perceived reality and validating said perceptions by rationalization are two totally different things and this article falls into to latter category. video games are geeky, even though most young adults at least enjoy the occasional fps or sports game. sport lovers that can fire off statestics are geeks of the sport world but its just accepted. article is gross and it is full of contradictions, i stumbled on it while looking for something else… ladies kudos to you for being interesting, don't dumb it down or mask your awesomeness for anyone. hence, starting the second paragraph with "the point that i'm trying to make…" just adding my own two cents to the discussion, really. want to add: on a practical level, the whole "changing myself to suit my maaaaan! i'm sorry but are you suggesting that a gay person needs to toe the line to get along? of course, this is aside from the fact that they state quite clearly that the rating of a photograph has almost nothing to do with people's actual preferences. you can decide whether to modify this behavior or continue under the assumption of "people can take me as i am. on october 27, 2013 at 9:38 am said:Let us not forget the intimidating leader who says, “you’re too sensitive” as a was of justifying intimidation. think some of it may have to do is if a woman shows a large amount of self confidence. there are some who, yes, envision beauty completely different from the rest of the world. the lack of awareness is staggering and even an intimidating, kick-ass woman like myself only has so much time and energy., i just got through this entire argument, and honestly i think the best thing in it is when stephen says:"if i find a woman who is strong and confident intimidating, we need to fix me. he doesn’t have the self-esteem or confidence to get past the power differential – and beauty is a power – then move on. among the points mentioned, i think the key to reducing intimidation is developing / having a strong relationship with your team. told “you’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women. is a totally separate issue that is about all of us having to share the same planet. she’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it., that having been said: you may want to consider toning down your behavior somewhat. i'm thinking yep, the answer is to stick with confident guys. i don’t want to so i’m asking what behaviors are intimidating and what behaviors alleviate the issue. if i see a women out in public, but she doesn't appear to be approachable, i would use the word; unapproachable. kumar gupta on october 27, 2013 at 8:49 am said:Holding grudges and unwillingness to acknowledge others perception are perhaps the biggest intimidation. nerdlove’s original post about male privilege in part described that false sense of privilege as an annoyance with women who didn’t respond well to men asserting themselves. it has been said that if a woman doesn't want to change, she should not. i was trolling i would have suggested you use a higher pitched voice so as not to come across so seriously and intimidate me…." if you're approachable, then the intimidation factor can be overcome by the person who wants to approach you.

How to Be Mean and Intimidating when Necessary (with Pictures)

"could it be that, as a response to feeling like people are telling us to change, we actually ramp up our outgoing/competitive/intellectual/whatever nature without really realizing it? there is someone(s) for everyone, why would you want to be with anyone who doesn't think you are as totally amazing just as you are- even if you are loud and opinionated and have zero people skills..like letting them decide where to eat,pay for dates, initiate, etc. i agree that it may not be intentional but answer lies there.' but, if people seem to be generally put off by you, take a look at how you act – an honest look. (same thing with extroverts actually, just the pitfalls are mostly different. of curiosity, do you agree with my poc/homosexual analogy? that’s the point of adapting, to elicit the response you want. how do you get some people who think they rule the kingdom to look in the mirror? in particular, when trying to engage with someone or attract them, they are almost invariably, consciously or unconsciously, presenting themself in a specific way to get the best outcome possible. but often regular women, who are not obnoxious, but just self-sufficient, confident women, are perceived as intimidating because men don't know how do deal with women who know more than they do or are assertive. nerdlove adds clarify things), but that it's a man telling women how to better behave to get a date. think i'd like to offer a but of diversity in your sweeping argument: "men who generally agree also mostly agree about the attractiveness of women. this article isn't about making yourself *less* intimidating, it's about coming across as *more* approachable.'m a supposedly 'intimading' woman who tries pretty hard to start relationships and conversations (not in an overbearing way) and for the most part, it's me being turned down! if you saw a video of yourself, would it change your opinion about your behavior? but i find people who are cocky or rude off-putting, regardless of gender., i related to this article so much it was insane.: nodds & nends: “fake” geek girls, write like you talk, and the pendulum choir | absurdly nerdly()." if you're approachable, then the intimidation factor can be overcome by the person who wants to approach you." i mean, if they are, then they're just being assholes and that's another subject entirely. issue deals with the way in which they attempted to study how men and women judge each other by using still photographs. i spend a bit of time in denver at our corporate office and you can tell by walking down the 16th street mall the confident ones from the not so confident ones. don't know if intimidating is the right word for me.  after all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, i thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys."i’m not proposing that an obnoxious woman just stroll around being obnoxious and anybody who suggests she does otherwise is sexist". a woman is being told that she's too intimidating to date, it can generally be assumed that she has attempted to ask someone out on a date, or has gone out on a date with that person a number of times. you shouldn't compromise who you are as a human just to be more appealing to men who can't deal with strong women. to start with, i disagree with your assessment that i'm telling women to play down their strengths. i find a woman who is strong and confident intimidating, we need to fix me. otherwise, the mindset of desperation you complain about is a direct result of your reluctance to intitate. "an inferior partner" implies that there are more than two people in the relationship. are scared they will be "wrong" and confused by you not doing what is "right". heck, it isn't really worth it to show an exaggerated amount of attention, because it means i'll get used for an ego stroke. the best way to be safe is by using condoms and by getting tested when you find a new partner. why are these same characteristics something to be hidden and/or toned down if you're a woman? i want to stop and say that i said something tone-deaf and insensitive, and i want to apologize for that to anyone who was offended. i think that, as we make further and further strides towards creating equality for the female sex, we will find many new challenges to be undertaken in reorienting the male sex. maybe not as fast as some might like, but it’s giving us a greater range of acceptable behaviors on both sides of the fence., doc, what i mean is that i am usually told i am the intimidating type, and i honestly don't understand why, because i don't make a point of showing off to men. it takes some of them a good 15 years to understand that rejection is rejection, no matter what script they'd like to use, and everybody has to deal with it all day long, not least the woman who doesn't even get a chance to turn anyone down, and to get over it, i don't know. be fair, an inferior partner who is in a particular relationship between two people is also the inferior partner in that relationship because there is no continuum of superiority." or "maybe there is something wrong with you or how you present yourself". what does a not so good looking girl really do to survive and get relationships then? once they get past the shell, i can be very open, and i'm no sycophant if it's something i have an opinion about. men settle for less attractive women, either because of the conditions listed in the article or perceived scarcity.

What does it mean when someone says you are intimidating

How to Intimidate People: Pro Tips from Drug Dealers, Hostage

thing is that intimidating doesn't just happen at the begining of a relationship. i want to be goddamned glorious and i don't want to have to hear it from somebody to believe it., if this is an issue you're concerned about, be very proactive yourself about using barrier methods and getting tested regularly. know, letting a smile slip every now and then, chatting with friends, or anyone. exactly does it mean when a guy says he's intimidated by a woman? less than men (by how much, i can't say without access to the numbers), but it's still described as "substantial" for both genders. it absolutely astounds me when i hear people say "i like shy girls.: intimidate, browbeat, cow2, bully1 these verbs all mean to frighten into submission, compliance, or acquiescence.(side note: this is has long been an ongoing issue with men; the idea of masculinity has changed and men are scrambling to keep up. tweet reddit2 share stumble14 +19 pin4or at least plays one on tv [↩]drool [↩]« previous 1 2 view all next »pages: 1 2. it actually makes me angry every time i see something like this, why are women always looking to fix whats not broken? agree with what brittersweet said: you can be very safe and still have multiple partners. there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but it can become a real compatibility issue. tell the men how to navigate the difference between "intimidating" and deliberate negative aggression. that's going to keep you healthier in the long run. don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. but the trademark passiveness won't allow them to break it off… so they'll sabotage the relationship somehow, usually by being very passive-aggressive, or by being just downright aggressive. if when you are out in public, and non of those things are naturally happening, and someone notices you, but you are acting like you don't even want to be there, you are unapproachable. this is true whether we're talking about male privilege, socio-economic theory, politics or religion – nobody wants to feel as though they're walking through a minefield when one misstep will lead to a lecture about why they're wrong and a horrible person for believing or acting in a particular way.? the same things not-so-good looking guys do: develop charm and personality and tough things out while you look for someone who isn't so shallow. a shy guy, even one who wishes women would be more assertive and take the initiative, can have a low threshold when it comes to directness and energy. becoming more confident (without being arrogant or close-minded) helps people to be less intimidating. the shy girls i've known have been more fun to hang out with, after i got pass their defenses. key differences are firstly, that the "creeper" is leaving women feeling in physical danger. but every time i read someone say "don't go after the shy guys, they either run away, become doormats or turn passive-aggressive," it just reinforces the belief that someone like me only has a chance with the more stereotypically 'feminine' women and/or women who i have some 'advantage' over in height, age, intelligence etc, even though that's not particularly what i find attractive. i came to this article really excited to see what insights the good dr had on the subject.! i just wanted to hang you and get to know different guys, and was always told i intimidated them! it's not the relationship with the woman, but the relationship to themselves they're looking for. i think it's a matter of presentation, something we all have to contend with, no matter who we are., but if you find 1,000 men and have them rate 100 pictures of women on a scale of 1 to 10. they then looked to see what raters agreed with them by giving high attractiveness scores. when we tend to hear what we like, we tend to develop shield that does not allow what we dislike. but you'll also find that the ratings vary a lot less than if you perform the same experiment with women looking at pictures of men. intimidatepast participle: intimidatedgerund: intimidatingimperativepresentpreteritepresent continuouspresent perfectpast continuouspast perfectfuturefuture perfectfuture continuouspresent perfect continuousfuture perfect continuouspast perfect continuousconditionalpast conditionalimperativeintimidateintimidatepresenti intimidateyou intimidatehe/she/it intimidateswe intimidateyou intimidatethey intimidatepreteritei intimidatedyou intimidatedhe/she/it intimidatedwe intimidatedyou intimidatedthey intimidatedpresent continuousi am intimidatingyou are intimidatinghe/she/it is intimidatingwe are intimidatingyou are intimidatingthey are intimidatingpresent perfecti have intimidatedyou have intimidatedhe/she/it has intimidatedwe have intimidatedyou have intimidatedthey have intimidatedpast continuousi was intimidatingyou were intimidatinghe/she/it was intimidatingwe were intimidatingyou were intimidatingthey were intimidatingpast perfecti had intimidatedyou had intimidatedhe/she/it had intimidatedwe had intimidatedyou had intimidatedthey had intimidatedfuturei will intimidateyou will intimidatehe/she/it will intimidatewe will intimidateyou will intimidatethey will intimidatefuture perfecti will have intimidatedyou will have intimidatedhe/she/it will have intimidatedwe will have intimidatedyou will have intimidatedthey will have intimidatedfuture continuousi will be intimidatingyou will be intimidatinghe/she/it will be intimidatingwe will be intimidatingyou will be intimidatingthey will be intimidatingpresent perfect continuousi have been intimidatingyou have been intimidatinghe/she/it has been intimidatingwe have been intimidatingyou have been intimidatingthey have been intimidatingfuture perfect continuousi will have been intimidatingyou will have been intimidatinghe/she/it will have been intimidatingwe will have been intimidatingyou will have been intimidatingthey will have been intimidatingpast perfect continuousi had been intimidatingyou had been intimidatinghe/she/it had been intimidatingwe had been intimidatingyou had been intimidatingthey had been intimidatingconditionali would intimidateyou would intimidatehe/she/it would intimidatewe would intimidateyou would intimidatethey would intimidatepast conditionali would have intimidatedyou would have intimidatedhe/she/it would have intimidatedwe would have intimidatedyou would have intimidatedthey would have intimidated. guys are afraid to approach a female it is because their own self confidence is lacking and are feeling insecure. i also let them have their moments and show appreciation for what they share or do for me. because i know that other women have found men who do appreciate their intelligence, strong opinions and so on (and these guys aren't supermen themselves, so it's not because of them being even stronger and smarter than their partners), i hate to think that i would be making both myself and an incompatible man unhappy by pretending to be somebody i'm not. i think it would be a good idea to be more aware of which group is doing the oppressing here. if it is, then i don't see why this article is even needed. incidentally, there are more pocs (and women) in the world than white people? “i don’t mean to,” is no excuse for unintended manipulation. does this start out with saying that a woman shouldn't need to change her personality, but then evolves into advice for women to soften their personality to appeal to men – and not advice for men on how to approach a woman they like but are intimidated by? after you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads. i'd love for someone i find attractive to hit on me in a slightly overbearing way, the way men stereotypically hit on women, but it's not likely to happen 🙁. men in general agree on which women are the 10's, 9's, 8's, etc. other thing is, as terrifying as we are, our confidence is often torn to bits because of all of those failed attempts (much like nerd guys). thing is, if we give women advice that legitimizes the traditional position they hold in a male dominated society, are we not making it worse?

Rookie » “Intimidating” Is Not a Compliment

i’m 23 and been single for a year and half now and have been called “intimidating” many times its been hard dating. i've been told that i'm "intimidating," but i've never been told that i'm "unapproachable. i think i see what you were where aiming for this article was but here's my main issue….'m not sure if i'm intimidating, but i must be, since from past experience, i sense that i'm not that unattractive yet still unapproachable to the opposite sex. these are the women i am most likely to fall for. i heard it from my first girlfriend's grandmother: "everything about a guy that is more handsome than an ape is a luxury. things are geeky because geeks congregate around them and get way more into them, and more into the more obscure versions of those things, than people typically do. and i ask why they enjoy what they do and wait for them to ask about me. the mechanics in 3rd are so terrible and easy to abuse…., like adam above i have always been interested in these so-called "intimidating" women. nerdlove is not implying that relationships are, by nature, a superior/inferior creation. some are adapting while others are panicking and trying to hold on to the old and familiar roles. view in contextlet us depart at once, for the common saying that in delay there is danger, lends spurs to my eagerness to take the road; and as neither heaven has created nor hell seen any that can daunt or intimidate me, saddle rocinante, sancho, and get ready thy ass and the queen's palfrey, and let us take leave of the castellan and these gentlemen, and go hence this very instant. i wasn't willing to be a bobblehead just to get a guy; i guess that was intimidating. there are many men out there who feel threatened when the traditional social roles are changed.'m 50 now, and i'm still single… not that i didn't have meaningful relationships, but they never worked because i'm too awesome for men, too educated, too sexual, too this, too that… the list just goes on and on… it's funny how my failure in landing a partner doesn't come from what i don't have, but from what i have… and now, i have too many years. but that's the nature of generalities, and the plural of anecdote is not data.” and i do mean genuine; shy, geeky guys are perpetually concerned that people are secretly making fun of them. is quite another to be mistaken with no interest in investigating thoroughly the accuracy of ones beliefs. if you (generic you) are someone who does not follow traditional gender roles, someone who expects or requires them will take issue with this and find you (again, generic you) threatening to his world view. in my experience, people who are shy and retreating are pretty boring*, no matter their gender. despite my masters degree (in library and information services, which isn't a traditionally "male" profession), travel experiences, financial stability, etc, i’m feminine at my core. i use wit as a way to lighten the mood, even if it means making fun of myself. but the intimidating woman is just there, living her life. best kiss you've ever seen… so how would you feel if someone said they shouldn't be allowed to do that as they need to conform to some degree? don't know if intimidating is the right word for me. but i can't connect and have intimate relationships with them. it's a small semantic distinction, but one with important implications. if when you are out in public, and non of those things are naturally happening, and someone notices you, but you are acting like you don't even want to be there, you are unapproachable. these women have to out perform their peers by an order of magnitude to even be recognized, all the while fighting off sexism, misogyny and sometimes, assault at conferences. actually reading the study, this sentence implies to me that both men and women tend to agree on attractiveness (bearing in mind that attractiveness here is based on a single instance photo of an individual, so appearance, clothing, posture and facial expression, and not a) trends by observing these things over several encounters [like a person on a good day vs a bad day] and b) any attraction based on either physical, movement based cues, or personality and interaction) but the men show a higher consensus. mean, on dates as well as with male friends, i’ve started focusing more on a feelings level, i. i don’t mean to be intimidating, but i just have a hard exterior but a pretty cool guy. women are static, meaning they either like you or don't. nerdlove facebook page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. a guy who really identifies with his spider-man shirt isn't going to up his game in the fashion department. To make timid; fill with fear: The size of the opposing players intimidated us. she’s too loud / too boisterous / a little too non-ladylike. either they're too nice or want to avoid conflict or aren't good at arguing (honestly, i never figured out the why as he couldn't articulate it). i'm not intimidated by smart, assertive girls; i like the nerd arts; i'm told i brush up okay; i'm not socially awkward; i'm very kind and polite. but the kind of self-awareness needed in this case seems to be too much – i'd need a personality transplant and become a stupid, uneducated, fragile, alienated little girl. 😉 i have one ex who i swear to you, people who don't know him all that well would never believe he's got a very snarky, kinda mean sense of humor (and it's hilarious, btw). she’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work. saying be friendly is one thing but it's the whole higher pitched voice stuff… we shouldn't be feeding into that. knowing how many partners she has had, along with other questions provides some insight. but to me that smacks of putting the responsibility on (and possibly the blame) the women to manage these men's problems and i don't like that. view in contextwhereupon, although his teeth chattered with the ague and his swimming eyes could scarcely see, he held on to his fading consciousness until he could intimidate the bushmen with the simple magics of compass, watch, burning glass, and matches.

Take Control and Say Goodbye to Intimidation

it seems that you're much better at explaining what he means! criticisms should never be taken to heart, especially if you possess these qualities by choice and are otherwise comfortable with them. my case, the woman has already been out with the guy. you can try to figure out what they mean – hence my including the most common interpretations. i got told just the other day that i would be more successful with men if i tried being "less gorgeous and less intelligent". if you have a handle on what it is they mean, then it's time to decide whether or not your behavior is or is not a problem and whether something that needs to change. my mother has told me multiple times growing up that this scares people away. of male and female behavior are changing in america – women are less approving of male assertiveness within the traditional model, and men are more approving of female assertiveness outside the traditional model. i've got plenty of friends who aren't conventionally attractive (some who aren't attractive at all, sorry to say, and i'm really not trying to be mean when i say that), but who have wonderful, healthy, loving relationships. the use of the definite article is grammatically correct in this context. example: let's imagine a man who was quiet, but handsome, assertive, serious with strong opinions and openly intelligent. we get friendzoned just as much as the men (sometimes it seems even moreso since our boisterous manner makes us more friend material than someone of interest) and it can be a little bit of a mindf— to on one hand so many turning you down while others (usually men in relationships or out of your age group) are saying: "dear lord, woman, why are you still single? an "intimidating woman" doesn't leave a man carrying his keys on the way home, just in case. women are all attracted to the same type of guy (the 10's on the cover of gq). olivia munn may be a geek1 , but how is average joe nerd supposed to compete with the celebrities she meets on a daily basis? a lot of guys *want* to approach that "intimidating" woman, but there's something that keeps them away. this is, again, where the self-awareness and examination comes in. heck, it isn't really worth it to show an exaggerated amount of attention, because it means i'll get used for an ego stroke. to acknowledge the perception of others prevents you from dealing with unintended intimidation. may think you’re a pussy cat but you’re not. really helps but like you've said the physical attraction needs to be there too. it takes a lot of maturity to learn the difference. one asserts oneself within the context of the signals that are generally societally accepted for your gender, you're more likely to be successful – e. a woman could have slept with 50 guys, but gotten herself and her partner tested and used protection every time and end up being clean. while it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “i’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it. you said it was a question of degree and i want to know to what degree? suggest……run, run as fast as you can and find an honest, open and willing person. am intimidated by plenty of women (rarely on the basis of looks) but often on the basis of their achievements and so forth." or is she asking "why haven't you asked me out?, okay – the column was prompted by a smart woman's troubles with finding a man who appreciates an intelligent, assertive (and possibly even beautiful) partner.'m also more reserved with strangers – but then if you do start to open up later on after you get better acquainted and more comfortable, and the other person becomes "intimidated" by your personality, then what can you do? :p) and that i'm out of his league (i'm not, just the opposite), but doesn't turn that into a fault in me. knowing who they are they decrease or inflate their idea of themselves to compensate for their fear generated by their lack of understanding. view in contextif you come her to intimidate me, you come to the wrong man.(i went on a date with a girl who thought that i didn't like her because i did not initiate a kiss on the first date. doesn't really work… guys just want attractive girls at the end of the day since women can see past physical flaws more. thing with shy girls/guys, when you get to know them and they come to trust you, they may open up a lot. this could mean women have, say, 80% consensus, and men have 85%. thoughts on “i didn’t mean to intimidate you is no excuse”."men in general agree on which women are the 10′s, 9′s, 8′s, etc. it's just "i'm intimidated so i don't want to work with her. these men are really "intimidated" by is your violation of gender prescriptions., if a man is interested in a woman who’s more in line with the idea of more traditionally feminine or lady-like behavior, he isn’t going to make for a good boyfriend for an outgoing, dominant or non-traditional lady. reality, this stuff is rarely anyone who has actually dated or bedded the woman, unless he's mad he's feeling inadequate, and it's not usually after a long-term relationship, it's before one gets too far underway. if you live in an area where that's hard to come by, it could be worth it to move. i see these women out in public such as bars, or concerts, or social events, i will not approach them, as those are the ones that reject the hardest/meanest. it will appear that she probably isn't really enjoying herself, or being natural.

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    it's because they don't know what to do when when the situations is off-script.'m quiet, soft-spoken for the most part, book-ish, and definitely on the shy/introverted side until i get to know someone well. someone who has hardly ever heard this nonsense from gay women, and even most women going so far as to peg "intimidating" as the femme in the relationship, i beg to differ.'s good advice in that it works, don't get me wrong. that women being less often perceived as being attractive if they are assertive is i think also incorrect. that is an issue with the men, though, and this is an article that is advice for women. someone says, “you’re too friendly,” ask them to give you an example. is, the authors of the paper are aware of the ways in which the study is flawed. know you say that a lot of this advice applies to men too, but on a lot of it, the line where a man being openly smart or conversationally agressive is a problem and where it's a problem in a woman are in veeeeeery different places. seem to be positioning this as an 'on' and an 'off'. this isn’t to say that there’s something wrong with being high-energy or being a tomboy, just that there can be a fine line between being energetic and outgoing and being obnoxious. story short, at least for me, it is really, really not worth it to initiate. are geeky, but most of the big summer blockbusters feature them. but that's different from some men apparently being intimidated by women showing certain traits even when they are displayed at a level that would be considered okay in a male friend. reilly on october 28, 2013 at 10:47 am said:Dan this is, unfortunately, on point with a meeting we had last week with a senior leadership team. gives rise to the assumption that these kind of behaviours are instilled with education/up bringing. who's been waiting chastely until now, but who falls fast and hard and rolls into bed with you almost immediately is a powerful fantasy, but it's not one that's likely to happen all that often and it's a very heavy burden for women to live up to. say it's a question of degree but it's still the asking of adaptation of someone because we are intolerant of then…. and realizing this habit is one thing and working to overcome such shield is another but often more difficult. it's like they think that, because i smiled to them or because i'm interested in them, i will publicly lose an argument / play the fool just for them to look good in front of their friends. and yet, men are still expected to be the ones to always initiate… if, as you say, ng have a mindset of desperation, don't you think that mindset would be fixed by pursuing them more, not less? like, it just seems like you're another dick or vagina that means nothing you know? person who doesn’t have glaring weaknesses probably doesn’t have outstanding strengths. at some point, though, the shredded self-confidence overhauls the people saying, "you're a smart, attractive woman– who wouldn't want to date you? there are behaviors that are off-putting, even when they aren't meant to be. it could have also, instead of telling women what not to do, simply informed men about which behaviors may actually be problematic and to avoid them (maybe the strong female in question is obsessed with winning and will argue counter productively for dominance). both women and men will make snap decisions on a person's attractiveness, and both women and men can be swayed up or down that scale based on getting to know the person's personality better. i don't see underorange claiming she's taller than you, i see her intention to be demonstrably as tall as she freaking is–which i personally think is great, and also an approach that is open to men. this is like the way in which films and games are often rated. instinctive response may be to play down your looks, and while this can work – there’s a reason why the “beautiful-after-all” trope exists; everyone likes the idea of the librarian who’s secretly model-gorgeous – it’s ultimately putting the responsibility on you.– you have to play coy (apparently men don't like when women answer the questions they make, i have to twirl my hair and bat my eyelashes instead). most of the time, i do not want to be consciously intimidating.'s face it, if a man finds a strong and confident woman intimidating, is this right? i must confess i am confused by how the majority thinks i’m not “intimidating” or stern enough but on the other hand, some say they feel bullied instead .) changing the 'you' you present is something that's always going on, and under your control. is regards to be intimidated by number of partners…i think it's more of a fear it's not very special. is sexy, whether its confidence in public situations or confidence in your relationship that allows you both to sit and read separately without feeling the need to be constantly entertaining your partner. being an introvert myself, my communication skills are one of the things i work on most. nl mentioned, or if it really is just a brush-off? the study doesn't actually say what the article based on it says (badly written article is not data). a girl who really identifies with her own outspokenness isn't going to figure out a more persuasive way of talking to guys. am all for self-awareness – and the advice you gave on that was very nice."long story short, at least for me, it is really, really not worth it to initiate. i can, however, choose how i want to tell the world about that – or even whether or not i want to let them in on my little secrets at all.'ve been told by more than a handful of guys that i'm intimidating, but i think it's a crock. but i think advance-screening for confident, intelligent, self-secure guys certainly makes it easier. or tell a gay person in the military that being gay is a-ok, as long as they never, ever, ever mention it to anybody they work with.

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