When should i take down my online dating profile
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When should he take down his online dating profile
but i just dont know how to really tell if his idea of a relationship is the same as mine or if he just wants to date. so it concerns me when i found out that his profile is still up and he goes online like pretty much everyday. he said he is so excited to date and see me, and already planned where our date would be. he has been a total gentleman and he even went into a “domestic partnership” with me on facebook (haha). now i’ve been in a new relationship for two months that’s seemingly going well. my case, i have remained patient however his profile is still up.! i just found out today he has another profile on pof i want to date other men but now i feel stuck…. i kept refreshing the search everyday i don’t know why and then last friday morning i was shocked when i saw that not only had he been online but he had uploaded his picture. also said she wasn’t one for dating sites ( no sense) and if a guy was to try and talk to her she would say she was dating someone. i don’t get why he texts me those things saying what he says and then not give me the time of day. he came all the way here (drove 40 minutes in practically a blizzard), and his birthday was three days ago so i made him a cute blanket.… i guess the question we all want to know is: what is in a man’s head that makes him think / or not even think at all i guess from your comments? there are times when we could hangout mor, but he doesn’t want to like i do. in about another month or so, he will know for sure if he will stay here or be sent away, and we have agreed to talk about being officially exclusive at that time. i can totally understand having caution after being cheated on, but at the same time you don’t want to wait months and months only to find out this might not go anywhere. he began texting numerous other women, and even had a one night stand with a younger woman while he was out of town. similar story met a guy online 2 months ago we meet once a week on the. but i do remember in the summer we seemed very close. i deactivated my pof online dating acount 2 weeks ago as soon as we discussed that we were dating. you don’t want his profile up and that’s what i think you should have said. as far as the deployed thing, he is getting deployed in a few months, and this is something i knew about not long after we met. he didn’t get mad at me all, even for snooping. that said, she is regularly active on match and i’m a bit concerned putting myself out there with her she may not be ready more given the whole cheating matter she had to deal with."sharon, you are correct, but i'll clarify your statement even further: instead of saying "top echelon," i'll say that men and women who are generally considered to be attractive, who have reasonably o…"weebs on you’re probably passing up your soulmate, and you don’t even know it. i think it’s reasonable for you to be concerned based on what you’ve found and i think it’s reasonable for you to let him know that. i just want to share another way of looking at it…so maybe you need to change but maybe not. have discussed with the other person the prospect of moving the relationship forward and have decided that removing your profiles is a good test to see whether a new level of commitment feels right. and this was the first time in my life that i had actually dated a variety of men at the same time.’s what i seem to arrive at in conclusion anyway…. no shame in protecting your biggest investment: your self esteem and right to know who you are in bed with…. there are some great guys using dating services but sometimes it takes having a good deal of patience to find them. a man can frame it any way he likes, but the simple truth is that a man doesn’t keep his dating profile up unless he wants to keep his options open. first, the idea that you calling his phone or texting him would drain his phone battery is a lie, although i imagine he’s going to use that event if pressed on why he’s not talking to you. along really well communicate during the week and he comes over even when he is exhausted just to see me wants to meet kids and his kids we have had 6 dates and wants to go out from the beginning not to b too serious go slow and asked me two weeks ago to settle down didn’t really answer him but told him i like him. – i can’t really speak to what’s going on in his head. his excuse was he did not have a computer, only his phone to access, and there is no way to deactivate from a mobile device. he's gone from nothing to raining women in a few months. i want to be with someone who is at least sure enough to put all the other girls in the world aside for a moment and give the relationship the attention and respect it deserves – for however long ‘it’ lasts – for whatever ‘it’ is. the online dating profile is tellng me that he is still keeping his options open just incase. has his ego been hurt that i was online when he had removed the earlier account? a fear of commitment, soaked with very, very committed conversation and feelings? i then asked if he was still on the dating site and he said yes.? anyway we end the goodbye on some jokes and pull funny faces at each other as i drive off. legitimate reasons to remove your profile involve how serious you are about another person and the implications of this based on your value system. ive broght it to his attention so i hope it is removed soon. along with many of my personal friends have reiterated your story to me through tears and hugs.‘ve been seeing this girl i met online for about two months. other times, you get hit with a case of fomo, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead. expected both our profiles would remain active until we were certain we were right for each other and moved forward in the relationship. is the thing… when we met online, he stated that he wanted long term, his “last best friend “, or something along those lines. can a sexy woman like me show men online i’m not up for a one night stand? very sad to see all the comments on here about the hardships that everyone is experiencing. she’ll either think that’s sweet and offer to remove her profile, or she’ll remind you that you’re just “seeing each other” and that she’s not ready to be exclusive. if you haven’t agreed to be exclusive, i feel this is the point that the relationship would need to reach before you would be in a position of strength to ask that the profile be removed. i would just be concerned that this type of game could continue for years. know other men who do this sort of thing, i am no stalker, just keeping my heart in check here. (i dont think so cos we hav met without sex and because we tlk about everything for months now).” he told me i was being needy but that he wanted to continue seeing me, but not be exclusive. i said that he really should think about changing that if his goal is simply to date around. you can’t bring yourself to be more aggressive about the situation in person, one thing you could try is to also create a profile on the site (if he’s using a free one). are really two inherent questions here: “when should you remove your online dating profile? – that’s its okay to continue chatting and even dating online while dating and building a relationship with one of us. i was on my way home when he texted & told me where he was late on friday. also, ladies, exclusivity is a trap for women and a benefit to men. i think you should let him know that in the next few months you need the relationship to change: either he needs to fully commit or the two of you need to go your separate ways. i kinda don’t want him to see other guys in between the next time we meet up again. after 6 months of dating, he still introduces me as a friend to people he knows when we go out. would say let him know how he’s made you feel and then keep your options open to date other guys because at this point it seems like he’s proven that you can’t believe what he says. i just started working full time and could not show enough income on paper to get another apartment that fast. he always tells me that he has a great time with me and i’m his favorite person, but that he never dated much when he was younger and thinks he owes it to himself to date around now. during that weekend we spent a lot of time walking around in the town where he lives, we had lunch and dinner in one of his favorite restaurants, and generally had a great time. if he’s just looking for his ego stroking, he shouldn’t need it right now should he? have been dating a guy for 5 weeks, been out 12 times w/a couple of overnights. so as our conversation goes i knew he was referring to me the girl he was seeing. this has much bigger implications than a 12 year olds birthday party. his last message was that he was going to send me a message the next day…but he didn’t. things were going great and he asked me to meet him on thursday.’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months but he continues to be active on dating sites. should i just chalk it up to experience and walk away? someone can take it down to try to ‘send a message’ but it only takes seconds to unhide and if deleted only a few hours to recreate from scratch! am surprised to hear so many experiences similar to mine. have been seeing a man i met online for almost a year now. i have a whole new way to enjoy life and enjoy having
men in my life.“when should i expect the other person to remove his/her online dating profile? i have checked a few times by searching users on pof and each time i see his profile it says he has been on that day. 3 weeks of talking he came to visit me for the weekend, and there was no nervous or uncomfortable feeling between us, just really had an amazing time. is women’s history month, so we’re celebrating women all month at cmb! i hope we can talk tonight but im so confused about where i stand and don’t know what to say to him. not quite sure, or just putting it aside for the next one. i kinda already mentioned about this… i dont know how to play it. i don’t think you should feel stuck though – obviously this is a relationship you should work on getting away from (but i understand your concern given his response). i met my boyfriend (i think) on plenty of fish in july and we’ve been hanging out, having fun since. between monday and thursday i noticed he was logging in. at the same time i don’t want to be a mug. surely… surely it means he is ‘not really that into me’ etc. i made it clear that i was not looking to settle down, but did want to continue dating him to see where it could lead, but could only do it if neither of us were going to continue to see other people. i am not checking up on him anymore cos that upsets me. he was dating and sleeping w/ tons of women – that doesn’t really concern me too much, as i can’t say i wasn’t doing a little of the same, and we had not declared exclusivity at that point. i agree men need women to tell them how and what they feel since men aren’t mind readers but then, neither are women. he wanted to meet me on sunday evening but i couldn’t and then i was shocked to see that he had repeatedly logged into his account. question: do the same mechanics apply vice versa (woman continues to browse the onlinedating site)? it seemed as if we were back to where we were 🙂 but something got me curious and so i went on the same website that we met on thre years ago and there he is on line that day. i’ve met a really nice guy online, and i’m very attracted to him. we haven’t gone on a real date yet because he lives in a different country than mine. dave – you might try sending her here to see that others have dealt with the problem. there is no cure but an expensive therapist to sit with you for several sessions for emotional damage – to help re establish your self worth and value that was destroyed by one person who had the audacity to demand no expectations while you jump to his cool as heck laid back beat. then in febuary, i was at home and i needed to use his computer to chek and email. then he tells me since he had been in relationships up until now, he’s just not ready for a full on relationship’ and that he likes checking when he’s bored. for me, it’s a definite turn off not knowing what the other party is thinking and doing especially when intimacy is involved. so i said i cant speak now can he call me later.., that their husba…"tron swanson on how can i turn drinks into dinner without scaring guys off? till that time though we had exchanged numbers but he had not texted me. how do i let what would normally be a wonderful relationship (if it were not for his dating profile) progress, or how do i let it go? feel like there’s a lot i left out, yet it’s hard typing on my tablet… and trying to sum up feelings and experiences to a stranger. then he’ll later mention ho he misses me of how we needto hsngout more. it i looked to see if his profile was still active and it said ‘online today’. the thing is he goes on his match account every day. we are at the point when we say i love you every day and we are often talking about marriage. he even came inside to meet my parents (he was so nervous) but unfortunately, they went to bed before we got there.” announcing in your profile that you’re now taken by “a wonderful woman that you intend to get to know better” may actually earn you brownie points by your new partner. i work so we are together when i get home in the afternoons. we dated for two months before we became intimate and i just assumed that we were exclusive. met him on pof in august 2013 and to be honest, i had just started dating again since my divorce 6 1/2 years earlier. ever since then i can’t think about anything else and i still feel sick to the very core, i just want to know why he would do this! the 2nd time i had a little too many and it got a little too late and we ended up going back to his place and well you can guess what happened. to make a long story short, he and i are perfect together in every way but, there won’t be a fairy tale ending where we live happily ever after, not after tonight. have offered her to check my username/password to see that i do not have a subscription, told her to send me winks/emails to test it, want her to check her email message and see if her status changes, offered to call match to show my log on status, and now seeking advice. the other person will catch on and know something is not right if you contradict or omit your intent. it hadn’t come up again, and i hadn’t thought much about it. i also thought it was kind of weird but i felt that if he was okay with me seeing where he was and i had nothing to hide then there shouldn’t be a problem. i called him 3 times when i was off work and then it started going straight to voicemail… not sure if he turned the phone off or what…. i also met a amazing guy online and depending on how busy i was, i liked to log in an read his profile or see his pictures, of course i made sure that he could not see that im checking out his profile. brought it up and he told me that he thinks there is someone else better out there for his “lifestyle. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot. for example, either or both parties can “suspend” their accounts – that is, not use the accounts at all or post a qualifier in the profile that the person is currently “unavailable” because of a new relationship that s/he is exploring. went through this with my now ex bf i met in july 2011 from match. so, again, not defending him but i prefer his response over a lot of other responses i’ve seen. to be honest the site was for marriage purpose, i have been in there for some time and gave up hope. he even told me that he’ll fetch me at the airport. i understand his availability issues because of his work as a nurse, but i’m feeling this sadness and doubt inside me because it has already been almost a week since he last sent me a message. i never had the impression that he just wanted sex, since he didn’t exactly initiate it, it just happened while cuddling on the sofa, watching a movie together..he is such a great guy who i think is worth it. in an idealistic world, you’d be able to have your cake and eat it too.. but at the same time i cant understand the need to have a conversation with guys on a dating site? i expected to see the original profile from when we first meet but this one was different and his profile picture was a picture of him and his daughter that we took after we moved in and decided to take family portraits to hang around the house. you could continue to date him if you want, but if he says that he loves you but refuses to take down his profile even when he knows it bothers you…well, i find that very concerning. know this is almost what everyone else is saying but i would like your advice. you decided to meet and on your first date things go great. i also feel really guilty for the snooping online i can’t believe i have resorted to this i’m ashamed 🙁. when he says he’ll take it down when the time is “right”…well, if you’re dating someone and you keep telling her you’re not going to date anyone else then the right time is now! after i posted my previous concerns, my man and i went out to dinner and after that i asked him how he feel about us being exclusive and he hugged me and was silent for a minute then he said yes. whether his behavior was “just” ego-stroking or serious looking doesn’t matter–i found it repulsive and a waste of a mature person’s time. i don’t want to be walked over, and i don’t want to turn into one of those girls who checks up on him…. so, i put my profile back up today and i am not going to tell him. where has all the trust gone, now i feel he’s been doing this the entire length of our relationship? he even had me add a tracking device on my phone so i can see exactly where he is at all times. now in the position where i dont know what to do now? guess i’ll be renewing my membership in the site where i’d met him since i did talk to a couple decent men there despite having had little in common with them but, who knows, maybe i’ll get lucky. i told him am busy & he sent me a text that was obviously for someone else. are tricky conversations and can be difficult to work your way into. he said he wasn’t seeing anyone but me at present, but he wanted that option open. i am not asking the guy to committ to me and plan weddings and babies. when we were a month into our relationship i told her i was not going to renew my match subscription because i only want her. every day they are hecking out the goods online time he or she is not checking out you and what you have to offer. that or i would just cut him off… the guy i used to see from okc has a new gf supposedly but he is still on there. i stopped logging in to my account weeks ago to show i was not looking, while she logs in two or three times a week. he said that’s fine cos him & his friends would go back to the city in any case. i think i f***ed it up a while ago! so i never talked to him about the dating site but i found out that he isn’t using the site we met on anymore but that he has set up an account for a totally different site and tried to hide that it’s really him so that no one will know. he suprised me first thing in the morning with an execpected visit, we went to a braves game that we had scheduled a week before and then he invited me to spend the night at his place. i asked about it and to his credit -it is an old flame and he hasn’t been on the site since april. i checked, and he’s been online in the past 4 hours. i so like him that i cannot help but hope he realises what he’s letting go of. or he could tell me that he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. there is no shame in publicly searching as a guest when he has or she has already lied or had been interested in emails and winks from people on there once exclusive. i know, because i have a friend that is on the same dating site and she keeps me updated, unfortunately. in looking back, he never specifically agreed to be exclusive – i made that assumption that since we talked about it, and then continued to see each other, then that was the agreement. do you care and need to open a wink or email once you are exclusive? as far as i was concerned, going on a bunch of dates would only reinforce why she should be exclusive with me. anyway, last week his sister had been awful to me and i was home alone and upset. reason her profile is still up is basically one of the below:1) she’s playing it cool and trying not to act needy. i realised it was early days and though it hurt i let it go. i understand his schedule because of his work demands as a nurse, but there’s this feeling inside me that makes me feel a bit sad and worried because it’s been almost a week since he last called me. about 2 weeks after we met, i cancelled my match account, and closed out my pof profile. some people, especially some women want the men to be in control, and lead the relationship. basic considerations of traditional methods of dating have not changed with the advent of online dating. im not sure what site i met him on or if he is even on a dating site now. he was sent to them as a mutual match and it showed that he was online that day within one hour after he had with me in bed the night prior.!Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it? rest assured, though, in my case as long as i see his active i will continue to be active. they can be crazy about you and still want to screw the basement chick. i apologised for my amnesia and told him i’d be hanging out with a friend at a pub after work and if he dropped by i could get him a drink to make up. i was getting really tired so we called it a night. doesn’t he realise i am losing trust in him? we chat and video call at least thrice a week..But i dont feel easy with that… its difficult… because teh date went brilliantly. and i don’t care how innocent it might be, it still hurts.?If you want someone committed to you, this doesn’t sound like the guy. given how much time we spend together, it’s really difficult for me to make a case against him keeping his online dating profile up if his ridiculousness of a truth is, in fact, a truth at all. week two came and i found that while i was waiting for him to respond to a text i sent (45mins) he was on the dating website from his phone. know it is difficult to address this issue but i do worry that if you don’t, in the long run your daughter could be hurt more, not less., this female happens to be seeing someone and in the exact same position. that conversation should be there, unless you both have great telepathy that makes you both delete profiles at the same time or if that subject or standard was addressed in the past, a reminder came…pay attention! am a woman in my early 50’s and i have been dating my boyfriend who is a year older than me for about 8 months. i know he’s someone i’m ready to commit to, to explore a relationship with. i guess i’m writing because it seems like we have a good connection and that he likes me (he even told me so) but he hasn’t made a move to discuss exclusivity and he doesn’t seem like he’s interested in giving up his profile. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. and now my feelings are starting to get hurt (typical girl). accidentally discovered that my bf had recently logged into his online dating profile. truth you reveal about what it is you are seeking in your profile. just looking for a suggestion on how to handle this is all. you other questions on if his story is true or if he was using you for sex…i really have no idea. if you think this is annoying i definitely understand but i would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue. i would be eternally grateful because at this point i feel as if i am going crazy. i reacted instantly – saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results (i was talking of myself) and of course a few other choice words……. so i made up another profile to see if he would chat and low and behold, he started chatting and added me as his favourite! we had been together for 4 months at that point so it really hurt. – that he could go back online without telling me – this feels like he is going behind my back in some way – though the forum is public so of course i then think the act of going back online means he is making a massive statement that he is no longer interested instead of having the respect and courage to say so to my face… if you know what i mean. out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women. he is not yet her boyfriend, then she is still available. – sorry for the slow response but i would agree with rachel. after 6 weeks of talking non stop via text, a few phones calls a week, and seeing each other no less than once a week i brought up the “where is this going” talk…..Things are going well and I want to be her boyfriend, but I still notice her logging into the dating site where we met. – i think you should gently ask him about it but not attack him about it. unless you are not serious about the person or are using them to pass the time until someone more interesting arrives on the scene. after that i did what any respectable women would do and i deactivated by online profile. he said it all has actually caused him to love me even more and strengthen his commitment to me, which he acknowledges might sound strange, but that is the affect it had for him. sum up, the reason her profile is still up is basically one of the below:1) she’s playing it cool and trying not to act needy., if my wife told me that she put an online dating profile up because she was a pisces…that wouldn’t fly with me! however, it sounds like you’re going to want to move the relationship to a bit more commitment sooner rather than later. i would be as kind as possible if you decide to have this talk with her: you’re not trying to punish/reprimand her, just letting her know where you stand. we were going to hang out all day but he told me yesterday that it’s his friend’s birthday on saturday, i mean how do u forget that? we had talked about it over the phone and via text message and it left me unsettled, but talking to him about it face to face has made a serious impact on how i felt. when we were saying goodbye i told him i would miss him and he said i am already missing you’. my landlord gave me (not kidding)a two week notice to move out. i have some serious trust issues from being cheated on in past relationships, but i’m trying not to let that cloud my judgement. (we suggest one month minimum to ensure you’re dating with dignity, which means really collecting data on your new partner before you decide if he or she is “the one. if you’re two months in and his profile is still up, it’s time to get your profile back up as well. his facebook page and his relationship status says involved with another girl. he told me he was going away for 2 days for work (this is true), so i took that as a hint not to text because he was busy. then necxt evening, when we arer leaving, we hav an odd goodbye, but then i guess we always do. am not brad (obviously) but if you read my post, which is right before yours, you can see i was almost in the same situation., if you sent him a short email saying you were going to be in his area soon and you’d love to grab a coffee with him, i think that could work. also, speaking as someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone all that much, i think avoiding phone calls in itself probably isn’t a red flag if he actively communicates with you in other ways. all of our contact – texting/dates, was due to his initiating – i never texted first or asked him out. he even told me that the first time he saw me he knew he’d marry me one day. i then said well, it is partly because of you, i am not interested in talking to anyone else while i am getting to know you. he said we are not dating but we couldn’t establish any status quo. i think you’d be better off talking about it now (assuming you can’t stop worrying) than waiting another four months and being miserable with concerns. until the conversation happens, i would say it is fair for a guy to keep his profile up. as i discussed above, i would recommend against being aggressive or angry. i don’t know how it got to this point. the profile should reflect their intent and you should call bullshit if the two do not align. she later confirmed she did not consider herself my girlfriend, rather i was just a “very good friend.. when i think back i am surprised to find that each and every time it was i who decided when he should have an opinion about me, i decided when he should take down his profile and actually i decided everything about timing etc based on my instinct and my feelings. should i be worried or should i just take it easy, breathe, and see how the next 2-4 weeks go? have you been 100% open with him on how all this makes you feel? we haven’t gone on a real date yet because he lives in a different country than mine. i met him online, soon after romeo proclaimed adoration and love for me he “deactivated” his account as he said he is % sure i was the one his been looking for. its been a month since we spoke/saw each other. in the article above i recommended that you update your profile to show him you’re still active. i took some time to reflect and by the end of the week i realized how much i missed him. lied to me when he told me he had not said ‘i love you’ to anyone since his ex-wife. tbh, i think we were both so shocked at how well we got on, how much we had in common and how much we were laughing. and how on earth do you even start that kind of convo without sending guy running for the hills? don’t over react but do not ignore the nagging inconsistencies. he pointed out to me the other day that he has a hard time showing affection and was asking why i stayed with him. finally bothered me so much that his profile was still active that i asked him about it.’ve had this problem today and it’s very simple to me. jason if you like the woman, take the next step ask her to take it down and allow for the two of you to get to know eachother better and take it one step at a time, if you are on the same page you won’t have any resistance. my situation he is now an ex for a reason. 3 months in is when i saw he was still logging in……it upset me…. forward to today……the last month and a half, we have been spending a lot more time together…. i don’t think that means that you should have concerns that you’re being cheated on, but i do think you should have concerns around “why does he feel that he still needs to be checking his dating profile? in general, he was never pushy or anything, but the opposite, and i got the impression of him as being a nice and honest guy.” doesn’t have to be confrontational, just you getting clarification on where he’s at. few days ago she offerered to help her friend with her match profile. coffee meets bagel coffee meets bagel (cmb) is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. if he’s not going to commit, this is a risk for you and i’d see talking to other men as a valid approach since you can’t know what he’s going to do down the line. confronted him about it after i had time to let it chill. he said he was checking for my profile and was curious. i taking down my profile because i feel this person is different? hours from where i live, so we knew that dating each other wouldn’t be that easy, but we also said to each other that we would make it work. i recently signed up on another website and have been looking at other prospects because i feel even though i care about him, i don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket if he is unsure of me as well. i gave him about a one-minute explanation over the phone, broke it off, and have not looked back. one date does not make a prince charming, no matter how charming he may be. if i trust her the way i should then i need not to worry. a text with a friend he hadn’t spoken to in a while, the buddy asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he responded ‘sort of. it sounds like this guy decided to start looking again but wasn’t going to tell you. i think that’s a great book but it will only help if you take what you learn about each other and apply it. i’ll replay some of the ugly stuff i learned about him like a broken record in my head and it gets me all tied up in knots again. erica – i’m honestly not sure how you could get him off the sites barring getting more aggressive with him about it. i don’t buy it for a second, but in the spirit of trusting him, i went along with it anyway despite my own common sense. he just got out of a marriage filled with anger. ideas on how i can get her to talk to me? in some cases, this could cause what he saw as a healthy, budding relationship to end abruptly. i haven’t said one word about it since but i am wondering how long to wait. we tlk veryyyyyyyyyy veryyyyyyy often and i guess i havent mentioned being official in maybe 7 months :s maybe i should again? wud like to add we are both the same age and same religion but from differentt cultures origionally (they are similar).
When should i take down my online dating profile
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When should i remove my online dating profile we’ve skyped almost every night for 4+ hours a night, and we text all day. that text he sent to me by mistake screams that messing up with me bothers him. in the browser history i was looking to see if he had been viewing porn websites when i noticed a dating website there. if he can’t give you a straight answer, tell him where you’d like the relationship to go and ask him what he thinks of that. but he’s still so kind to me to help me in my time of need. i think these are all good things and he did give me a heads up well in advance and still wants to meet. but then he did a complete 360 less than 24 hours later. are just guesses but the fact that he took it down in the first place is the most interesting part to me. he seems like a great guy, and the compliments are flowing but something is off. he even used it last night, and i just dont know what to do about it. he’s all over the shop & i can’t handle this roller coaster. after work he did call me and told me that they are being deployed to turkey for about 50-90 days. we started off as being friends with each other and now started dating but he never mentioned about being exclusively but when i check the dating site each day he seems to be on it very often as i am very confused as to why when he informed me that he is my boyfriend and still looking for someone else. i have tried to keep my “option open” by staying on the site – but it just makes me feel bad…. on monday he was supposed to call me but he went to the gym late which he normally does and said he would let me know if he wasn’t too tired for a call. he’s been too busy to delete it and also his friend is using it to find women. obviously what you describe doesn’t sound good (in the sense that it seems like he’s telling you one thing and then says something online that is different to your “sister”). anyways, we still met up and spoke very very regularly over the next 6 months. i realize every situation i’ve read is similar but i also know the answers will differ i appreciate any insight you can offer.’ve checked and he’s not been online since i mentioned it so hopefully it’s made him think. add to it that you specifically asked them if they are dating others or are having sex with others and their reply is “no. the responsible party is the man or woman who has to open those emails to stroke their ego or satisfy what they think is a harmless curiosity. have you had the exclusivity discussion, and agreed to be exclusive?…"adrian on should your spouse also be your best friend? hate spam as much as you do, therefore i will never sell, rent, or give away your email address. we had plans for friday but he said the weekend was best spent with friends., he is still active on the sight and logs in. i finally told him he need to set up a specific date with me where we could go out and talk about this stuff together and privately. while he’s not being asked to marry or make babies, he is being asked to stop looking to date other women. i confronted him about it, we broke up, and then he came crawling back to me 2 weeks later and deleted his okcupid profile. you were a bit persistent while i guess i didn’t help matters! those two circumstances are the only time a dating profile is gives you any strong indicator into understanding a relationship and only as a negative indicator. when we were a month into our relationship i told her i was not going to renew my match subscription because i only want her. i also took more time to look at his profile than i originally did the last time, and i noticed that at some point he uploaded a recent picture that he actually just posted to facebook back in april. i told him i talked to another man on the phone. it’s early may, and we’re spending mothers day with his parents.’s assume one is seeing someone several times each week for a couple of months. have read that many complaints from match is the status option is flawed and can be triggered from simply receiving and deleting a email from match in your personal account. i tried to start a conversation but he said sorry but i’m going out soon. he asked me to be his girlfriend shortly after we got the apartment. he did not have any sent messages in his sent out box. a day or so later i really kind of had a moment where i texted him asking him if things were ok between us because he was being distant. i’m pretty sure that my wife would be upset if i flirted with other women and told her it didn’t mean anything or that it was an ego thing. upset, he asked me later what was wrong and i told him. after all, paid sites can be expensive and leaving a profile online may be the most practical choice. to hear your experience went that way kelly…i promise not all guys are bad though!"hi malika, marika, and emily,Have you ever been on a date where it was clear that the person was in love, wildly attracted to, or just had great chemistry for, the fantasy of you and not you? he opened an email and my friends said he was online within 24 hours. i’m nervous that if i were to message him from that fake account he would indeed respond. if after dating for almost 3 months, he is still having his profile(s) open, then…he is just a bunch of bs, clearly not that into you regardless if he takes you to nice dates on the weekends. he told me he would remove his profile and that he was so sorry he upset me. he tells me how lovely a time he had and how he doesnt kno if we will definately be able to meet again due to the situation. i thought everything was great his parents know all about me i’ve met his friends and some family. when does it become important that she be included in the life of her boyfriend? this could remove some of your problems but it would also be nice for those who are still dating online and trying to find someone interested (and obviously you’re not! i plan to bring this to his attention when he’s back from his trip. perhaps it’s a commitment problem, perhaps it’s a fidelity problem or maybe it’s something else…but regardless of what it is, it’s not a foundation you’d want to build a solid relationship on. as it turns out, he was talking with other women – don’t know if he slept with any of them, but he was definitely out on the hunt. the fact that you’re taking the time to answer each person is truly amazing. he’s a great guy, doesn’t have much friends but come on… i’m not sure if i’m being too stubborn. would you be at ease knowing that if you are looking online you cannot give the relationship a chance? and that he stays online because he is afraid of closing all doors and just be with me, the first woman. i guess you could mention to him that your friend told you that she saw his account was still up and you could let him know that you’d feel much better if he hid it. i struggled with myself whether to bring it up or not about what i had found out, but then i decided to confront him. i have read what you have written on this subject and i know you said that men are slower to remove their profiles than woman – so my question is how long is reasonable to wait for him to do this before you say something or begin to feel offended by it? i didn’t ask him if he was going to delete his, i assumed that of course he would. i relaxed and began to enjoy the journey, tentatively falling a little by little for him. here we are, i have doubts and feel uneasy about the whole thing. he hasn’t asked to meet since i just nodded at his suggestion. i was thrilled to have found something special and i cancelled all of my future dates as soon as i got home from my date with my (someday-to-be) wife. at the end of the day, you can’t really make someone be with you if they don’t really want to be with you. i know he was aware that i disabled my profile because he can check it. we can’t meet up often because we don’t have cars, so that plays an even bigger role in me worrying. he talks marriage, knows my ring size, and talks about our future and potential children.’ve had several readers write me after they argued with the man they were dating to ask if i thought they had made the right choice. i tell him i am very busy through the week and can manage saturday. a few days afterwards i got a text telling me that he got crazy news and that he couldn’t tell me now but would call me after work.’ve now decided to actively date others and am looking for someone that actually cares enough to say ‘would you be interested in seeing where we go from here. i want to trust him, and i have… but i found out that he still visits his datig profile regularly. in the begining i didnt have a problem with him still being active on the site cus it was early days, i was still on there too. the next morning he begged to meet me and we agreed to brunch on sunday (9 jan). if i couldn’t get that, i would move on (easy for me to say, i know). it’s a dilemma that’s more common than you think when online dating turns into an offline relationship. in fact, he has since told me that he is actually glad i went through his phone and handled it the way i did with him (holding him accountable to it, ready to dump his butt, but didn’t attack him like the tasmanian devil). we had a mild argument about what was going on, and what it came down to was i told him don’t take me for a fool, and don’t take me for granted. saw texts between him and his hockey buddies about how he wants to f*% everybody and how we was getting that ‘spring time itch’ really bad. he goes online every day brad yesterday he was online in the morning and in the evening. am his first relationship since a divorce from a 16 year marriage from a woman who had cheated on him. he seems to be just perfect, everything i was ever looking for. it is being wise and mature to set clear concise boundaries to value and protect your emotional sexual health. yes first time i get an invitation to his place. said he is only seeing me and i shouldn’t worry…but…should i? he told my fake profile in his last email 2 days back that there was no spark between us & that’s why he kept it casual. two days ago, someone brought his pof account to my attention, knowing that we were “together”, so i got online and checked it out. mean we are just getting to know each other, and it’s still very new, but since i had asked him if he is still on dating sites or talking to other women, i feel like he wasn’t sincere by telling me he wasn’t. i hope that i only date people in future who agree.) – i’m glad my thoughts were helpful but at the same time i don’t want to come off as if i was saying you were “wrong” in your approach. if you can figure out how to log in, update with new pics and stuff, you can figure out how to do other stuff. so, while perhaps this seems immature, i got gussied up big time and decided to go out that night, knowing we were supposed to go out together later on. if that doesn’t explain enough, i texted him once and he didn’t respond. i try to kind of ask, but he always makes me feel so stupid for asking, as i should (and think) i trust him.’d vote for opening up more and letting him know how you feel…but not necessarily in one big conversation. and then he said “i’m not sure i see it going anywhere. – would you feel comfortable telling him you want to take your profile down and ask him if he would do the same? to me, it sounds like another guy who isn’t necessarily cheating but is struggling to commit. if i had met him at the pub, i would have met his friends & seen his place. i asked him if the text was for me & told him to call me. he brought up my fake profile but i told him i did ‘t want to talk a put it cos i am still hurting. i really do love him and want to be with him, everything would be great if i could just figure out how to get him off those sites. come everyone i want to meet online isn’t interested in me? he is funny, warm, love and treats me to everything…."dale and i have been together for two and a half years and will be married in 3 months. maybe i oversimplify but if we haven’t had “the talk,” there is no promise of exclusivity. – i don’t think expecting someone to be honest is being “needy”. he asked me a month into the relationship to be his girlfirend ive met his family and friends. my heart sank as the truth i had already known finally started to come out. i am just going to start dating other people and not even worry about it. retain some reality, because being online is so surreal and the rules of engagement so different to real life that some surely find it unbalancing. true, we did not discuss what sleeping together meant, but i did not think it was necessary to have the same conversation i might have had with a 30-year-old. because we live on different hawaiian islands, we didn’t meet in person until about a month after emailing and talking. both have 3 children, although his dont live with him and are a bit older than mine. he told me he’s not into the casual thing with other girls, i know he’s active on his dating profile. are you both okay having profiles up and options available? i asked him if dating or seeing somebody and he replied he is dating here and there and kinda seeing someone but nothing serious. now the only reason i knew to look and see if he was on there was this gut feeling that i got. so we met and he told me he was glad i had pushed him out. however, if we use your examples of the real world versus online dating (and really a case that you appear to make that they should operate more similarly): if it were the real world instead of online dating wouldn’t you have been more firm that he shouldn’t be talking to another woman/making himself available to other women? are many top-ranked colleges in the los angeles area, but how do they stack…. he’s told me his biggest fear is missing the boat’ as in not getting married and having kids at a decent age. relationships are unique things and you’ll need to decide when it is best in yours to start demanding more…but at some point he will need to commit or you will need to move on. i told him how i felt he was hiding me that he wasn’t taking me out to dinner or movies. statement i made: “if you like someone enough to see someone several times each week and have sex with them” requires some qualification. they also indicated that to open an email or wink from the service from the associated account would show them as online. communication is a beautiful thing when it’s actually used. for the last few months this has been by far the question i’ve received most often from readers.. which has been cancelled but not hear anything about a visit. can’t really speak to how much hope there is in this situation but maybe instead of walking away, you just open your options as well? in my mind the matter is so simply about respect and i find it difficult to understand how to tolerate the ‘continues to actively online date’ thing…. i think that might be a next step: to let him know that you’re very unhappy that he keeps his profile up.. after fighting about it for weeks he’s now saying he’s going to delete it but when where together to do it… because as soon as i saw he had his, damn right i put mine back up and he said i did it out of “revenge” …. those of you that ask why about how i found his profile, my friend created a blank account to check her dishonest husband a few years ago, and i logged on (with her permission)…my profile has been down for a long time. with a few men but didn’t have the desire to take it further than friendly chat……. cause unfortunately in my world if you like me, well that makes one of us. days ago i was having one of those days where i was thinking about it all too much and letting it get to me again. i am an old-fashioned, of sorts, and believe that any man should take the lead- right or wrong this is where my beliefs lie. except the fact that my bf wanted to date me and see me, but still thought there was someone else out there “better” for him, so he kept the site up. she is now mad at me because she thinks i want to date other people and i am just like the other guys that hurt her. after quite a bit of texting we couldn’t meet up. i’ve developed some very strong feelings for him and i feel that i am making the right move in continuing to see him. i was heart broken when i saw it, and i text him right away confronting him about it…. so i began “snooping” and found that even though after 6 months he was still using the dating site that we met on, but he is doing it from his phone so that i can’t check. i was not satisfied with his anwser so i kept a close eye on things. the fact that you had to fight about it for weeks is a really bad sign too. dont be surprised if she also noticed you login in, and also wonders., often online dating doesn’t match the real world and i think that in some cases waiting for the commitment/respect to happen naturally is going to be a frustrating experience. and if she wanted to go out with twenty other jdate guys before taking her profile down, she could. thing about the advice above is that someone women will want to start this process immediately after the first date. but he said we were going to hang out all day but now we cant. he starting to show signs that he is interested in me and i am meeting his friends already and its been 2 weeks of dating.!, conversation was boring and didnt amount to anything so i just blanked him and deleted profile. we dated for a year and then we moved in together. he kept his profile online and then during a period where he was busy he removed the profile. have to add that he struck me to be honest and good from the very beginning, and he never gave me reason to not trust him. no reaction from him but when we were talking about the weekend it was clear he had no dates. the assumption that guys see things just as women do is risky business…especially if you are rapidly ending relationships based on that assumption. i know you don’t need to clean up anything to deactivate an acct. i asked why he was online recently, and he said it had to be a mistake, that he must have accidentally pushed a button on his phone that logged him on without him even realizing it. i was already assuming we had broken up so i was surprised. i care about him so much and i yet i have my reservations about him. i also told him that we agreed to be exclusive and that having an active profile tells other women that he is still single and it is disrespectful and unacceptable to me. i am only asking – in these early stages – for respect enough to put all the other girls aside for a moment… is that really too much to ask? if no conversation has taken place, then it’s chaotic, and disorderly, it is not a relationship you are just dating. i know he was clearly a player – is it possible he is a reformed player? perhaps a taste of his own medicine will wake him up to what he’s doing…but honestly that’s not the point or the goal. best way to see this clearer is to flip the situation over. if that is the case, how long to you tolerate such lack of respect for you, for the investment you are making of your heart and your life? however i told him i am relationship girl & not at ease with this casual arrangement. dating profile is still active – is he interested or not?! he’s computer illiterate, but i don’t buy that he can’t figure out how to hide or delete. we did have the talk of being bf/gf and being exclusive. he didn’t like it at all and only thought of me. i don’t know of anybody who would let someone follow their every move, so it must be heading towards something serious… what do you think? in your case, he asked you to be his girlfriend…he needs to cut out the unnecessary continuation of online dating now. is it too late to salvage anything…or was there anything to salvage? he responded with the patent ‘interested & looking forward to your email’. i know he’s been feeling unwell & low lately and my sister doesn’t help the cause. i wouldn’t want to be with someone who treated me the way he’s treated you and because of that, i do think you should start looking to date someone else. might not be helpful but at the end of the day you can only control your choice. saw each other every weekend and we would stay the night at each others house…i trusted this guy, he made me feel loved by his actions. i took mine down right away and i just figured he always had his up. off, let me say that this guy’s “reason” for keeping his profile online makes absolutely no sense to me. we had an amazing day on tuesday from start to finish., let’s just say for example he was doing it because he was bored, but had no other intentions… well even that is dangerous because i personally know so many couples who have broken up over facebook accounts, comments, pics etc… it always just starts so innocently, a person looks cute, they say hello and that could lead to a full blown relationship/affair/fling. i dumped the first two and instantly took down my profile for #3. it’s difficult because i have a daughter from a previous relationship and he wasn’t too sure about that, but was attracted to me. met him through an online dating site six months ago.’m gonna see how it goes over the next month, if he’s still going on then he doesn’t care about my feelings and i’d prefer to be someone’s one and only, not their until something better comes along! in the meantime brad he treats me very well and has introduced me to his parents and all his friends. if i were in your situation i would feel a mix of hurt and anger. had put my profile back on and started looking as well. i texted him and said that i think if he wants to take this relationship seriously as he says (kids, marriage, moving in together, etc) then it’s probably a good idea to delete the profiles. conviction behind your reasons for joining and your honesty with those you date. then he will always know that i found out and, the guilt he may feel could jeopardise our relationship. we saw each other at least once on the weekend and would text, email, im and phone throughout the week. we live an hour apart so i only see him once a week -but we talk or text daily. so for the first time, i decided to do some checking, and did a search on his profile username. friends can be found on meetup dot com or other avenues. right is to engage in a conversation with them about it directly. we like to do a lot of the same things, have the same smart a** sense of humor, both enjoy mind games (of the fun sort), have a very acttive sex life, laugh a lot, ecr ect…. had trouble getting her on the phone as thats something shes uncomfortable with and shes unsure about being able to visit cause of money going towards a course. he said he loved me for the first time and i said it back. week three we went out and he said the big “l” word to me. the fact that he changed his profile means that he still uses the site. you enjoy each others’ company, enjoy the same things and over the next month or so you start to date more seriously. we text when we aren’t hanging out or he calls on lunch, and he is always talking about our future with my daughter. i would really like him to come to the realization that he needs to delete it himself!! yes he needs to appreciate what he’s got instead of fretting about what he’s missing out on. he introduced me to some guy as his girlfriend but tells everyone else i am his friend.!I feel as i am really, truly falling in love with him despite that. he also told me at night that he’s missing challenge in his life. he tells me for the first time that he loves me, i say it back to him for the first time as well, because i know it’s true, but i was never going to say it first. we are committed and our relationship is going on strong for three years now. i reminded him how his friend spied on me – he now says it wasn’t his friend but he himself. this would put our “relationship” on hold and already up to a tough test.’ve been talking with a man i met on a dating site for a couple of months now. i replied no worries, but that i trust that he wouldn’t play games with me because that would be unnecessary. thought through all of this for a couple of days before i brought it up to him. – if the two of you are using words like “love” and “monogamous”, i think it was totally acceptable for you to bring the topic up. have to look at the whole of the relationship to know where you stand. he told me that he would like us to be in a relationship, but because we were approaching his busiest time of the year at work, that he would like to wait until things calmed down a bit…he said 2 of his serious relationships ended over it in the past. have had a 5-6 really great dates, chemistry off the charts, met his daughter, spent a weekend with him. i also said that i wanted to be there for him and support him, and that what he gets from me is honesty and loyalty, but that i require the same., if you let your account expire and can prove that to her, that means you can’t read or reply to any communication so there’s really no risk of your profile being there. i’m so confused, but over thisyear our conversations and time spent together hs allowed my heart to grow. if you’re just not comfortable with that, it sounds to me like you could bring this up again.‘if’ you’re just getting to know someone but you say to one another that you’re keeping it 100% platonic… for the first few dates, then it’s ok to keep looking. i have checked simply out of curiosity and really to keep myself from getting to attached at this point.’ve been dating the same guy for 4 months and today i asked him where i stand and he is not answering me back is he hiding something from me. i doubt asking him about being friends would scare him off but at the same time you wouldn’t want to repeatedly make him uncomfortable about where you stand so i’d recommend just accepting things as-is for now. the 2nd day away, he sent me a pic of himself in a towel. i recently confronted him about a woman on his facebook that was posting pics of him and about how much she loves him. convenient truths of the moment are not genuine and border on deceptive. so i know he is not in it for the sex. i realize she’s already reached that point where it would be devastating for her to lose him but allowing it to continue only to have things end over this a few years from now isn’t going to improve things for her. he can get you a hotel room and take you on a road trip but logging into a website and removing his profile is beyond his time and resources? didn’t see an email from you yet, but i know i’m being anxious and impatient 🙂 thanks again for your great blog. the next day, he disappeared and went totally dark on me. not that you can’t find success, but often this approach mentally “locks” us into continuing to pursue a relationship even when it isn’t that great (and there are lots of other reasons to date multiple people in my mind, but i’ll not go over all that again here). he had planned romantic trips for the two of us, we were together practically every day, we went on family camping trips, i met his parents several times, he was talking about future stuff with each other. i told him i didn’t understand this plan since we had not talked yet.. my friends usually ask me for advice and yet i can’t seem to think clearly for myself. i can honestly say it was incredible for us both 🙂. let’s just say that hypothetically speaking another attractive women sent him a message to his profile. he left he kissed me on my forehead & cheeks before the lips. he said the past few days had driven him crazy & we should cool it. but if there’s an ultimatum, i think it’s only fair that he know about it! have absolutely no clue what to do and i hope you can help me. i once again bring it up because i’m hurt and he proceeds to say he honestly thought it was nothing and had deleted the app and proceeded to even cancel his subscription in front of me. it’s march 2015, and he brings up the topic of moving in together. i felt if he was into me then he would without asking him to. so i texted him jokingly that then whatsapp must be messing with me, because it says he was last online last night around 9pm.. i brought up the subject and he insisted it was nothing that he had an app on his phone and would click on it when bored but that he would remove the app. i find this truth out many many months after dating when she kept walking up into his house and always there when i came over. good thing is, it doesn’t sound like you’re approaching this situation in a demanding sort of way. he then says, oh, i thought it was because of me. second, i believe the following guidelines can help when having your conversations:Be honest. i still think that’s a fine thing to do but more recently i’ve found myself encouraging women to be a bit more pro-active or aggressive (whereas changing your photo is rather passive-aggressive). i took my profile down and never asked him if he did or not. does he really think that i will be happy to settle for being his ‘she’ll do in the meantime’ girl? you’ve decided to get a clearer idea of where your relationship stands, i recommend trying to start conversations as naturally as possible over a 2 to 4 week period. at this point in time it is not wise to promise exclusivity to any man without a proposal. so each and everyone is so different, and yes, i agree with all those that said, the conversation is necessary. i was completely honest with him that i had looked him up, and he told me that he ex-wife took his old computer after they split up and that’s the computer he had used to sign up. yeah, a deleted profile would be best (or updated text) but at least he has it heading in the right direction. when i didn’t hear from this guy till friday afternoon, i was in no mood to wait and was not happy and you can understand why since i had spent all my patience with my ex. i recently found that he had set up a profile on plenty of fish. maree – i think from a guy’s point of view it can be, at least in some small part, a commitment issue. this point i don’t want to even mention to him that i’m aware he’s quite active, especially on match which my sister says allows for various forms of communication with people unlike the site i’d met him on, where his original profile remains active.. im not proud of myself but again it felt so so right, i had fallen for him through all these months. we chat and video call almost everyday, and our emotional connection just gets deeper and sensual. things are going well and i want to be her boyfriend, but i still notice her logging into the dating site where we met. part of me thinks it just his response to getting caught but i’m really in no place to judge him. keep your options open and don’t care too much about what the men do…care about how it makes you feel. i finally pushed him and he admitted he and she had a sexual relationship a long time ago and that he had lied but he felt nothing for her then or now. – this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me. i asked if his feelings changed at all towards our situation. i removed my profile at the end of the first week or so explaining to him that it was my personal preference/instinct and that it placed no pressure or expectation on him. people change – but i don’t want to be a fool about this. told me he isnt keen on that idea but at the saem time how he doesnt want to make them unhappy. and as i touched on earlier, i do think it’s reasonable to demand respect from these guys. almost everyone who has success with online dating will have some time where they have a subscription but aren’t using it…assuming they meet someone. and a few times i saw that he had cancelled plans with me, in order to be with her – of course he had lied about why he canceled with me. i didn’t respond – later he texts me ‘i’ll come over’…and then again ‘i’ll come over’. however, i do worry that the next time he tries dating someone else he might find himself interested in her and then you’ll find yourself alone. kinda confuses me…but i have created a fake profile on the same site with no picture and said that i don’t have any kids and made myself 2 inches taller and also put that i live in the town i grew up in. but i knew i had to be supportive and not dwell on my fears, so i did the best i could to cheer him up and not burden him with my worries. we act like a couple when we are in public and he loves pda. he’s saying that since the people who are contacting him put in the effort to contact him, he should respond to them. told him i understood as he is just newly ‘out there’.
When should i delete my online dating profile
we’ve even been to a festival and just went away for the weekend together. i, the obsessor that i am when i genuinely have feelings for someone, made a fake profile and emailed him “hi! try not to force them but at the same time you will want to look for opportunities let him know that you need to know where you stand with him. he told my fake profile to understand that he’s looking for a ‘soulmate’ – really? this might provide him time to come around while at the same time giving yourself a chance to find someone who’s looking for the same thing you’re looking for. we were out for 10+ hours and he was telling me he hasn’t been out in a while or on a real date in almost 5 years. only that, but the sexsearch profile showed that he had been active on it in the last 5 days. that he would go to the place we had dinner at on monday since it was ‘so so good’. on one hand i am his emotional outlet person but he won’t commit. he has no idea that i know about this site. i guess the details of everything doesn’t really matter, i don’t trust him to be faithful to me long term, and i don’t trust him to be truthful with me. this article has been very helpful but i want something a little bit more specific. and when you’re dating and there’s intimacy involved… holding hands, kissing and sexual contact, then for most of us, it’s generally healthy at that point to start focussing on trust and loyalty and fidelity. he was so into me and i was into him, too. they introduce you to their young child/children, and talk about how excited/happy they are being involved with you. we are both almost 30 years old, and i really want to believe him. about a week ago, i noticed that he had the pof app installed on his phone, and he just got a new phone a few days before that – so i calmly asked him about it. i am protecting myself from a man who had to answer an email to some woman on a dating site to be respectful. but my daughter has this thing where she loves to look at his pictures and since his phone is touch screen and she is only 3 she sometimes hits other buttons, well about a week ago she opened his browser and ended up on the exact dating site i am talking about. you’ve made a commitment to each other, it’s pretty clear to me. the funny thing about being in a relationship when you’ve been single for so long is that you go into it having all these preconceived ideas on how you would react to certain dating situations, and you prejudge your future relationships based on your past ones. i have even offered to show him how to delete it but that conversation always ends quickly. yet after telling me he loved me, i guess i just figured we were forming a more serious relationship.” four words no man or woman ever wants to hear at any point during their relationship. i will add that he texted me at the end of our first date to say he had a great time and proceeded to text me everyday after that. would it really make you feel better if he waited until the next morning? have to admit, it’s been a bit tumultuous for me emotionally sometimes. i am a relationship girl – cannot do this casual/fwb stuff!"could it not be also possible that ultimately looks aren't the most important thing in relationships, and that even after they fade both men and women can be very much in love with their partner becau…"callie on how can i turn drinks into dinner without scaring guys off? shed some light on thisand please tell me what i should do. so, i asked “why do you have the profile up when you know it bothers me this way? six weeks ago i met a guy from an online dating site. i bring it up, he says ok let’s talk about, and bam. i started talking to a guy in dec and we hit it off."i’ve chosen to be cherished and allow myself to know that i was worthy of love. it definitely sounds like you’re exclusive so i would expect him to take it down. i confronted him with it, he did not just blow me off…. have both been under a lot of pressure and stress this past year and i haven’t had the guts to bring it up. i was challenging what we had so far if after meeting me if he could meet other women and still kept coming back to me, we were really onto something really special here, the begin of a great relationship. when searching for profiles, my profile said i had been active within 5 days. you both have a profile on match and have been intimate on more than one occasion, one or both of you should step up to the plate and discuss the options. i just immensely like him, and i haven’t felt this way about anyone. he agreed that he did too, and things were good. even if a woman had been cheated on, the message would still be “i’d like to commit to dating you”. six months later and we now live together, he was new to the city i live in and hes been having trouble finding a job. cmb premium to see exclusive feedback on bagels’ chat activity (android). went to a spa, it was beautiful and we ended up staying the night together……. i’ve seen this with some regularity talking to people over the years and while i can’t say for certain, that might be what’s going on here. wonder what he’ll think when he sees his fiance’s new profile there. it seems to have disappeared overnight and i feel lousy and worthless. he will be turning 30 soon and i am 6 years younger. i messaged a guy on a dating site and we texted for weeks before finally meeting up. i mentioned before, i assumed we were exclusive when we had that talk and worked things out (in late nov 2013). i told him if he’s not that into me, then he’s more than welcome to leave. ok he says, let’s talk about it, then we get interrupted by one of the kids and never come back to the topic. and never be ashamed to check if that person has lied to you. i don’t know if you would necessarily want to “let it go” but at the same time if he’s keeping his options open you might want to do the same (including staying active online). shares so much about himself with meso why is he pushing me away like this. we played around in the snow like little kids, cuddled, watched a movie at the theater, and got shakes. i’ve been dating someone for a month now, we have been sleeping together regularly and he’s super affectionate with me in public. i am going through something similar and i really hope that you may be able to give me some words of wisdom, advice, anything! so i would hope her relationship with him would encourage you to be more aggressive about understanding what he’s doing. after that we never said another word about it and have been hanging out like nothing happened. i was getting player’ vibes from him by this time. so i checked online later monday and low and behold he created a new profile recently online and he was on that day."evan's info gave me the understanding that if a guy is interested in you, he will want to be with you, he will call when he says he will call, he will make sure he arranges time to spend with you. situation is a little bit different, so i don’t know if it fits this category…i’ve been doing the online thing for just about 3 months now, and have met some nice and not so nice men. we made some mistakes by not talking earlier, but i did not want to use that as a reason for exercizing caution when i knew i would not go forward. then if it doesn’t, you could tell him a friend told you that she saw him actively online and you could ask why his profile is still active.‘if’ you’re just getting to know someone but you say to one another that you’re keeping it 100% platonic… for the first few dates, then it’s ok to keep looking. or maybe he’s doing this to get my fake profile girl. i wish you the best of luck – whether he changes his mind or not! if not, he certainly does have the right to look. it sounds like he’s assuming you’d continue to date other people because you spent the money even if you found someone you wanted to date exclusively and that makes no sense to me. slept together after about 5 dates and it just felt right but neither of us mentioned about being exclusive, i think we both took it we were only seeing and sleeping with each other, at this point he was still active on site but my time on there was becoming less. he’s an adult and for whatever reason, this is the choice he’s making right now. i checked online today and it said that he was online today. have for the most part what i tell my friends an “effortless relationship”. every now and then, you come across the online dating profile of someone you know, but when that someone you know happens to be someone you’re supposed to be in a relationship with, you can’t help but start questioning the validity of that relationship. she’s waiting for you to make a commitment to be a boyfriend. he says he likes to read other people’s profile summaries for entertainment purposes while taking a crap on the toilet. he might already think of the two of you as exclusive (at which point you’d want to talk about taking any profiles down if you want to be exclusive as well). if you have had the conversation, but someone is still loitering, then you know better than that. i am not a lonely or desperate woman and like to think i have a great life and great friends. to me, he sounds like a guy who can’t admit when he’s found a good thing and wants to keep his options open…but this sort of thing is only going to make his life (and yours) more difficult. i didn’t realize that by cancelling an account it just meant that your subscription wouldn’t renew, not that your profile wasn’t still active. until now, nothing about him has bothered me at all, and i would hate for this to ruin what could be a great thing. do wonder, how would he react if you had an active dating profile online? which btw still says “singe” and “actively seeking a relationship”. i really do appreciate the advice but it’s not going to work out. then a few days later he once again “ignored” a text. then i said how about we just put this off till next week but he seemed eager to see me cause he said no let’s meet on saturday. however there are more things apparently he’s saying that i didn’t tell him “i love him” during sex which was odd to me because i have in the past, i even brought him breakfast the last time i saw him…., in your response to cat, not all guys are like this. it is hard for me to see him everyday cause of my busy schedule and i always work on weekends. he has not only changed his profile picture, he has added a picture from our trip, a picture that i took of him., the not knowing how to deactivate the account doesn’t fly and i bet if you deactivated it for him he’d get upset (well, from what you describe…that’s just a guess). if we are “exclusive” (without titles that express commitment), than why the need to continue prospecting? i still had my profile up and so did he. do not trust online dating anymore too many bad experiences and too many shady characters.…it seems as if he’s on there browsing girls, seeing if the grass is greener.. he has gone from asking me to move in to changing his mind. i’m not sure how often she goes on them, but i deleted both of my profiles about a month ago yet hers still lingers. he said his data on his phone wouldn’t work (i think he meant he didn’t want to risk paying for the roaming), but he would text me whenever he would get a chance. can someone, please explain to me what is going on because i see it as one thing and one thing only, i am being deceived in a very cruel way as he is clearly preoccupied with pursuing other women on dating sites. men are slower to commit and many also need their ego “stroked”. i guess it could but it might just be a schedule or habit thing (like something he does before bed) so i’d try to not read too much into the timing. start small and work your way up if you’re truly afraid you’ll come on too strong. he said his profile was up but that he hadn’t been checking it and he hadn’t found time to take it down. better to get an answer now than to wait another two months to find out where you stand. the worst part is that he is doing this while i am sitting in the same room, but hides what site he is on! you’re not sure how to approach it, i’d basically let him know what you told me: you feel bad for snooping but you were suspicious and now you’re very hurt by what you found. he also said he has friends he talks to but no one that he is seeing or dating. i shouldn’t have made such a big deal of it, but i was really hurt. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. we proceed to see each other two more times, before i went on vacation for 5 days to cancun (alone). this sounds familiar, then it’s critical to find the cause of this fear. we see each other once a week since we live an hour away from each other. i did that, but no response…he claims he fell asleep. if you really hit it off, i’d hope the car situation wouldn’t prevent a relationship from forming. in other words, in many of the cases described in these comments the woman is put in a situation where she needs to force the “let’s be exclusive” conversation. that being said, i’d still be cautious – it takes 5 minutes to take your profile down so his excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. lemres – i’d try to be patient if you can bear it., well, we both said that we weren’t going to have relationships with anyone else without telling the other first. we haven’t talked about exclusivity yet, because i think that it’s too early to talk about it and that i might be putting pressure on him, but i don’t want any games or be fooled., you’ll probably want to check out my previous advice on this topic. i got another funny feeling one day, agian while waiting for his text. if being online and chatting to other girls was face to face lets say and you met a man in this way. if he can’t answer where you stand after your first conversation don’t go and demand to know by such-and-such a date. i am going to do what i want because he is surely doing what he wants. anyway he’s told me he needs time to himself. i’d love to hear how things turned out if you stop back! i want to take it the relationship slow too but i also don’t want to be seeing a guy that is looking for the bigger better deal. during the date, he continued to say the same things that he’s been saying to me and he couldn’t keep his hands off me. he says he loves me, yet aout three weeks ago i asked him where he thought our relationship was headed. these actions tel me that he likes me and is trying to have a serious relationship with me. i know you can hide your profile when you have an active subscription because i’ve done it so don’t let him try to convince you he can’t do that either. he always will have one job and continue to look for a bigger and better job even if he has no intention of leaving the one that he has. he tells me to look after myself and tries to make the goodbye casual and jokey…. i’d be careful: if he’s now dating another girl and things don’t work out with her, he’s likely to try and come back and make you feel like everything was fine and you were overreacting. you decide to be exclusive, then you later notice that she’s still logging in — it’s worthwhile to address that. i’d suggest you suggest to him that you meet out his way – if he responds positively and wants to meet, things are probably fine. i’m really freaked out about commitment – i love this guy and have a relationship with him like no other, he accepts everything about me, he adores me, is kind, gentle and makes it his daily goal to do things that make me happy. a guy checking his dating profile isn’t always a sign that he’s unhappy and based on your agreement i guess it’s fine for him to do so. we laughed so much, i couldn’t even remember when a guy made me laugh like that! i told him no way cause i have a life to which he said how about saturday day time? re-enable your profile, let him know that you no longer consider your relationship exclusive but you hope to continue to date him, and then start looking for other guys to date. he said he was trying to hide his but couldnt do it on his phone but when he gets a laptop he will do it, i said ill hide mine too. i asked him on sunday and he said he was in there cleaning up his inbox before deleting. since then i have been the happiest girl on earth and i am so in love i have never been. i have not confronted my boyfriend about this online dating profile yet. monday he contacts me and asks to lock in a time and date. i know, for me, i’m not interested in dating anyone besides you right now. do you think that would be the wrong way to go about things? took 6 months to tell me he loved me, but still has his profile up even tho its hidden…and i just grew on him like a comfortable old shoe…lol. i get it and i will be patient and understanding. he said he wasn’t doing any of that on purpose and i was wrong to think he was intentionally doing those. he knows that i will soon be going to live where he lives soon because that is my plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. i can see why some people might not like their friends reporting on this sort of thing regularly…but if you’re close, she would probably appreciate it. told me the first day i hadnt talked to him that he forgot his phone at his friends, and id like to believe him but now 2 more days of him not talking to me much i dont know what to think… my friends tell me to give him space so im gonna work on not trying to contact him as much today. i’d say make a point to sit down with him and ask him where he sees the relationship going. jackie – as with the other situations, i can’t say exactly why he would keep his profile up. live feedloading tweets by @evanmarckatz…you said"lol evan goes all byron katie on us…"andi panda on are you a great girlfriend? and tomorrow is another day so the answer may be different without warning. i’m not saying settle for good enough, but if you find potential, at least try.” so obviously, i creeped today and you can see (even if you’re not a member with a profile) if a username of a profile exists. he cuddled me beautifully the entire night – it was sweet. in the unfortunate case that the relationship ends for whatever reason, you may even garner some sympathy from other women and therefore appear more sensitive and caring than your competition and get more winks and hits later! is now day 3 i havent heard from him at all today. since i feel that really good advice would require me to understand the relationship on some personal level, i can’t tell you exactly how to approach the situation. i said i had made an account and saw him on there. however, if you go another month without any change, i think you might want to keep your options a bit more open as well (and be sure to let her know this in a gentle way as she’s going to be sensitive to feeling like she’s being lied to). i’ve met his friends and he’s met my friends and some of my family. none of this one foot in the bed and the other on the floor while exploring options. low and behold, he had been online sometime in the last week, and had added new pictures. i’m happy to say i accomplished all those things and with support from my best friend, decided to start dating again – but i was certainly not looking for a relationship or to get serious. when searching for profiles, my profile said i had been active within 5 days. if it’s not, you might want to have a more direct conversation regarding it…. boys my own age tended to not be interested in dating, or only had eyes for the…"malika on should your spouse also be your best friend? i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but the miles between us and the unknown are really bring out the jealousness in me and i don’t like it. it proved to me this is someone i really want to be exclusive with. he checks his emails in front of me and i didn’t think much of it that he still got emails from another dating website and he had said he couldn’t remember the password. deleted my profile about 2 weeks after we had started being boyfriend and girlfriend.! this happened to me after being in an exclusive relationship for 14 months. i know you may not want to for fear of what the answer will be but in the long run it’s better to know sooner rather than later in my mind., why not hide your profiles so other people won’t contact either of you? i don’t want any distractions as i am getting to know him. you may not only be screwing the village idiot but all the others he or she is lying to. he also said that he would fetch me in the airport. if you can share your body through sexual contact (which is clearly intimate contact), then you should be comfortable enough to have the talk about expectations. don’t attack him about it – show genuine curiosity and i hope he’ll realize that even if he thinks it’s not a big deal that his profile should come down/be hidden. agree with the advice here – especially the timing – and acknowledge that girls tend to overeact in these matters of the heart so maybe we could all do with a bit of advice to slow down a bit. unfortunately it seems that at this point you should have a conversation with him about this and where he sees things going…i’d hate to think that he’d be using you for a place to live (and hopefully that’s not it). was noticing a few things even when i’d be around his neck of the woods and invite him to join me and my friends he wouldn’t. How can I get her to take down her profileHomeonline dating bloghis dating profile is still active – is he interested or not? he said that he doesn’t use it and doesn’t care about it and was planning on taking it down. find it very difficult to give advice on this topic because there are often so many things going on that i can’t really predict. if you don’t get a response to that you’ll definitely know something is wrong. – let’s imagine you met my wife and i for dinner. are you ok that you may hurt both of you because opportunities come easier and in catalogue style online? 2nd day i texted him at 830 am and asked him what was going on. because i try not to think about women like that, period. the subject is in your email subject line and says: so and so sent you an email. now, i feel like when i go with the flow and stop trying to control any given situation, things fall into place. you can simply say, “i’m happy with how our relationship is progressing and have really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months. on, my now boyfriend and i started dating and it was casual dating for both of us. yesterday morning i checked again and it said ‘online now’ to say i felt sick was an understatement but i didn’t want to go wading in and accuse him when i didn’t know the story. he feels like he has a ‘clean slate’ now, and can see that he absolutely wants to be committed to me, he said quote “i’m all in! if she says she’s not comfortable with that because of her past experience, i’d try to be understanding. i am a strong woman who needs a strong guy. however, taking it offline after one amazing date with a seemingly amazing person is not such a great idea. was pretty angry at my outburst……that friday i wrote him, apologizing for acting instantly rather than sitting with my feelings and just blowing up on him. there are going to be ups and down, good and bad – you just have to be willing to put forth the work. but for those who do not wish to take the hard line of interrogation, this would be enough to establish trust that they are working on knowing you and not everyone else on the dating site. did a very filtered search on the website and discovered a replica account without a public picture.’ve been seeing this guy a little over 3 months now. again 🙂 just clarifying that the part i wrote about him telling his buddy he ‘sort of has a girlfriend’ and that ‘he is trying to behave’, was over a year ago – that conversation did not happen 4 months ago, i got my dates wrong…too much confusion, right!?Now it’s been 4 months and i wanted to see if he’s being true to his promises and i decided to check., i think you should have been more honest with your guy. we agreed that we’d tell each other as soon as we slept with anyone else for health reasons. i messaged him on my friends proflie and he answered very nicely that i was pretty and he was still looking for a relationship., i find really annoying is when he informs me that he is not cheating on me but why is he still on the dating site. – it sounds to me like you were exclusive at some point (at least in his mind) and then later, without you knowing exactly why, you stopped being exclusive (again, at least in his mind). this sounds simple, but online daters rarely think of this as an important step or action – and it is. if a woman had emailed me after i met my wife, i probably would have looked at the profile even though i knew i’d met “the one”…i think sometimes it’s more about wanting to know who was interested in you as opposed to pursuing them.. i’ll summarize the positive and negative of what i found:He had not been texting or emailing other women since over a year ago (at least from what i could tell). i don’t want to bring it up with him again for a third time. he’s never given me a reason to not trust him, when we aren’t physically together he calls and tells me where he’s going and what he’s doing, we talk and text daily, and he’s told me that i make him happy. he wanted to meet my girls while we were having after work drinks but i told him it’s not a good idea since it’s our girly ritual & we don’t get guys in there. i love him so much but it seems that he keeps making these promises that mean nothing. i met a guy on plenty of fish in june. you do not know after a month of seeing someone if you would like to eliminate the rest to give her a fair shake, recognize that there is something that is not resonating for you and the best course of action is to be direct and tell her. you are short, fat, older or an asian man, you must read this.) last night i went on (my profile is hidden) and his profile is active for everyone to see. he could’ve at least told me upfront instead of brushing me off and beating around the bush. men be forced to pay for children they didn’t want? i would talk to him: let him know you want to be exclusive and see what he says. i know he checked his email and eventually he did look at the profile, but he did not take the bait and respond back. questions to you are these, one thing that sort of bothers me is that we are exclusive, however he only hid his profile. the dating expert goes on to say that while there is constant temptation to always be trading up, “the whole point of dating – for most of us, anyway – is to find one person that makes you want to quit altogether. abruptly changed his mind because he suddenly “didn’t feel it” with me, i had a sneaking suspicion something. there was one night about 3 weeks ago now where i did flip out on him (somewhat) about not responding to my texts at all (heard nothing from him, two different days. have offered her to check my username/password to see that i do not have a subscription, told her to send me winks/emails to test it, want her to check her email message and see if her status changes, offered to call match to show my log on status, and now seeking advice. long story short, he came and picked me up from the club i was at and he knew i was upset with him. which privately causes me to panic…but i told him i was open to the idea and to talking about it further. i’m sure this will make him angry but it will be pretty hard for him to deny (and i get the feeling that you’re going to have to accept him getting angry if you want to pursue solving this problem, regardless of how you approach it). doesnt seem like he is committing to the relationship or caring about my feeling the past few days. as you approach being exclusive, obviously it would be a problem but since you say that’s not where you’re at, i’d leave it be. i was hurt but more disappointed because he told me that he would never hurt me like my ex s did or any man before him. he helped with my car, helped paint the shutters of my fathers house, my father is getting old now and it meant so much to me, he even helped with other things around the house, he said he “liked to take care of me. he said the only reason he was on it was to try to figure out why they took out of his account. again, not with any type of ultimatum, but i’d let her know that you’d be interested in concentrating on dating each other exclusively. online dating was an avenue i hadn’t tried and i was curious! all that doesn’t work, i’d say at some point you should just say: “so-and-so, i really enjoy spending my time with you but i worry we might be looking at our relationship differently.?It saddens me to read all these stories becuase i am on the same exact boat as most of you. you say to find someone who makes things easy for me — but relationships are not easy, and if they are, they aren’t real.” conversation with someone you’re dating is a delicate undertaking indeed., as with other situations discussed here, i think it’s totally reasonable to expect real commitment at a certain point and it sounds like you’ve reached that based on what you describe. when he tried to confirm, i told him i hade forgotten we had a date and promised lunch to a friend. “we weren’t going to have relationships with anyone else without telling the other first. and he said he had logged in to show his friends my picture that i was the highlight of the weekend. hmm…i don’t think you should be looking for a way to blame yourself for his actions. non the less i started to warm up to the idea. ultimately he said he thinks we need a break for a week or two – that things were getting messy & the last thing he wanted is to hurt me. after 2 months he asked me to be his girlfriend – actually an old college friend of his we met on the street asked if i was his gf and then a few mins later i told him that i did not want to continue to see him unofficially so he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he’d tried to ask many times but was too shy. i know its him because of the wording he used and the things he is looking for. even after you’ve met and worked out relationship expectations face-to-face, there are other options than simply taking down a profile. and, truth be told, i am not sure if we are both checking on each other and prolonging the chase or not. a profile can be forgotten and left up even if the owner is totally committed to a relationship. the time august 2014 (now one year of dating), he was spending every night at my house, we practically lived together, even though he still had his own home. deleting a profile only says “i am not so lazy that i am reluctant to reinvest 3 hours of my time if we don’t work out”, we might as well all of us, keep an active profile up and see what comes in. said he doesn’t talk to anyone else on the phone like hd can to me. i told him i didn’t care if he kept it up but i’m going to re-activate mine and he didn’t like that (i get very high response rates, which he knows) should i care about his reasoning for taking it down or just be happy that he agreed to?” i then printed this section out and asked him again if he was cheating on the internet and he looked me straight in the eyes and said: “definitely not”. it’s designed for busy singles who want to find something real with little or no effort. another problem is that a few times he had informed me that he is confused and do not know what he wants in life or keeps on changing his problem which makes me feel so confused and disappointed. may be hiding something…although it may not be that he’s looking to date other women.. i took my off as soon as we slept together. i played stupid and said i had thought that was the plan from the start. realistically i believe that whether or not he has paid for a subscription, if he is interested in me – then he shouldn’t be using it! i feel awful doing that but once i saw it i clicked on it. it’s like things just continue to get better and better every day. i met my boyfriend on an online dating website years ago. a couple of weeks went by and he still hadn’t taken it down. he then when he was at mine told me he wanted to keep me satisfied so i didn’t go elsewhere! said, if you’ve only been dating for 4 or 5 weeks, i think i’d recommend you just be patient for a while longer. this online dating drama made me push him & drove him ‘crazy’. he wanted something casual at the moment’ but wasn’t sure if he wanted to see others. i did confront him to discuss it but now i realise i did so – not to understand him – but only with a view to declaring that he had failed, that i don’t ‘share’ and therefore we couldn’t continue in this state. well i found out he is now with a seperated lady he met online.” he goes, “aww 🙂 you like me so much to delete it. said u were on there he replied with yea but he has 2 mutual friends. i’m no saint though i go on match too but i’m different and it bothers me he uses it that much. ideas on how i can get her to talk to me? finally i asked him if he has talked to anyone on the site, and that’s when he got really angry that i don’t trust him. i just don’t know how to deal with the pain. ali – doesn’t sound like good news to me unfortunately. jenn – i actually touch on this issue a bit in my article on when a guy disappears after a few dates. so when i met him on thursday i asked him why he was online if he so wanted to get off.
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When to deactivate your online dating profile: The ultimate game of met a guy online we hit it off really great. he really loves you and agrees you are exclusive, the profile needs to come down. he evenetually wanted to come visit me within a couple of weeks of chatting.! i said i really like you and have knocked back dates from others too as i was seeing and sleeping with him, he said, he knocked back dates too! he knows that i will soon live where he lives because that is my future plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. if they notice that you’ve removed it at midnight when you left your date around 11:30, they will probably assume it has something to do with them — and probably think you’re jumping the gun. that moment i realised i really do have feelings for this guy. i think if you start to have those conversations it might lead more naturally into an “exclusive” conversation. i generally do believe he does like me but he is just either not wanting to be hurt again so taking these easy or he is seeing other women. seemed we were perfect together with him professing his love and talking of marriage. he told me he would try to meet me somewhere if he could get some stuff done for work and some family things, he told me to txt him in an hour or so and see where he was at with being finished. if he still doesn’t make the right decision (taking his profile down), i think you may want to consider putting yours back up as well to see if you can find other people to date. i can’t say which one it is but i do think if he’s keeping his options open you’ll really want to do the same thing (and not just saying you are to convince him to stop). in her case, it is very reasonable for her to expect her guy to offer some clarity on where he sees their relationship going. we spend a good deal of our free time together, he’s met my friends and family (he has no one here, but his family knows about me), and we have an amazing time whenever we are together. – i’m guessing here but if i were going to tell a woman i was dating that i had taken down my profile, it would normally be because i would be hinting to her that i want to date each other exclusively., if he’s going to say things like “you are not bound to him”, that makes me a bit nervous for you. i just don’t want to him to like someone more than me.’m still very interested to hear your thoughts and advice. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. he did many kind and loving things…though he no longer does them. would say things like “you don’t want to work it out” etc……he told me we were just on a “break” not broken up that he wanted to prove to me breaks could work…. you’re right – i think you do need to have the conversation. everyone and a while i would get on his phone or computer and check. we havent spoken properly about this as this was late last night and when i rang i woke him. jane – unfortunately, i’m not sure there’s much help to give here. you’ll wish her the best of luck in her search and you’ll both move on to greener pastures. i confronted him about and he said he was deleting it and,and i better start acting right. the same is happeningto me again so maybe next time i will try meeting someone who doesn’t have a computer as i am rapidly losing faith in meeting someone who is honest and loyal and can commit to one person. if you are not making it clear that she is the only one you want to be with them its a open relationship. and he replied with a nice good morning text as usual, apologizing for not texting yesterday but he didn’t go to the wifi place but went to the base and finished settling in and going to bed early. we went on a road trip together, he paid for everything, went to the beach got a really nice room. so it’s been three weeks now since we agreed to be exclusive but he still have his profile up and checking it. met a coupld more times and then slept together, its not something i do easily at alllllllllll, it just felt right at the time. i told him at the end, “i’ll get home and delete my profile :p” he goes, “so will i ren :)” so that night when he got home, we texted for about an hour and he told me what a great time he had and that he can’t wait til i’m in the same college as him so we can always be together. so looks like he pulled one over on me and is still online. he always tells me that he loves me deep down but i just don’t know what to do anymore. while i agreed to casual & laid back – and only cos he said he’s just come out of a relationship & doesn’t want something full on (and i have too but i am ready) i did not saying anything about the seeing other ppl business. – if i understand correctly, you’re saying that if he doesn’t decide to take his profile down in 6 weeks then you’ll not talk with him about it and just end things? i was able to get a hold of his phone last week and saw that he had the dating site application on it.’d try not to worry too much at this point. i had a dinner date that evening & due to some sudden dramas it didn’t go ahead – i came home & realised i couldn’t find my mobile. btw, he told me today that he would need my parents’ consent and then we both just changed the subject. i am still not sure how to handle the situation. i also have a feeling that he won’t text me tonight. he totally denied that he was on the site and could not see how the picture got on it. how he hates the fact he makes me feel the way i do with all this. he wouldn’t make out with me that night – he said ‘i don’t want your friends to think i only come over for one thing’. i should probably mention that i began sleeping with him very early after first meeting each other, but that did not mean i was serious about him or wanted a commitment. but it was apparent that he was really hung up on her. i know you make a case for not doing this in your comment but i worry that there is some risk in expecting a man to recognize:The moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally). if the two of you have worked out some understanding on a difference between exclusive and girlfriend/boyfriend, isn’t he still headed towards breaking that agreement? he texted me later & said the following: are you ok? if he’s introducing this way to some people but that way to other people, i think you have a right to know where you stand. i have active accounts on the on line sites as well but its been months since ive even thought to look at them. i got a strange feeling in january 2014 that something was just ‘off’. he not only read the email but he also viewed my profile. that said, it’s honestly hard for me to guess as each situation can vary so much! also that he got to go and wished me a great day and that we would talk soon. if you guys are planning vacations and are seeing each other soo frequently, he should have more respect for you and not have any active accounts.’m not sure i follow cathy – did you meet him a long time ago on a dating site but now he’s forgotten? dating magazine content, including the content on this page,Copyright by online dating magazine and may. but i was extremely bothered by it, it didn’t sit well with me at all. try to pick what feels like the best opportunity to talk about it, not the first opportunity.. even if after i take mine down, because it is just a profile… and i have decided… (just now) after reading all these comments that unless he cheats and i can prove it (and i will be gone)… nothing else matters…. the next day he says he went online and couldn’t find me. should i have her make a date with him and me show up? i would rather have someone that challenges me and pushed me to be a better person every day, and i intend to do the same. he did and had no problem giving me his number! i also think if she didn’t respond the way i wanted i might put my profile back up. strange thing is, while i deleted my profile from the site on which we’d met, he hadn’t and i assumed he’d just cease using it or hide his profile and not renew his subscription but, turns out he has a match membership discovered by my suspicious sister whose brought it to my attention. still he kept his profile up as “single” so i did too. i know it hurts right now but i suspect it will be for the best in the long run and i’m glad it didn’t go on any longer than it did if he’s (finally) being honest with how he feels. it never occurred to me that i could, that it was an option. the risk of being lied to is higher online because it is a catalogue of sorts. he mentioned twice that nobody comes to his apartment but me. ‘dated’ a few guys when i decided to try the online forum. being exclusive means resisting temptation and focusing on the lady you are bedding and claim to be crazy about. he promised that was not his intention and again said he would take his profile down, but needed help because he couldn’t figure it out. only problem is that i now trust no-one and everyone i meet on the net is suspect, although now i keep my profile up (even though i do not use it) so at least they know i my profile is still active. i also had a gut feeling as it had happened to me previously. however, i know has has a dating profile because a few weeks after we started dating my friend who uses the site told me she saw a profile for him. months, i never checked on because i trusted him, just went today and he has an “available” profile seeking ltr and just logged in this morning. i let it slide since it hadn’t been in use since 8 jan which was before we had met. i just asked if i had anything to be worried about and he said no. would it be acceptable if he continued to go along to such events and chat and flirt with other girls? a few weeks later we broke up for 5 days i activated my profile and gave a guy my number. i i mean gee, is it really necessary to say that after you just told me you loved me? i thought he was nice and understanding, but i was completely wrong. you been dating exclusively for 3 months or have you not had a talk on being exclusive? i’m headed to a wedding across country and he’s not happy with the fact that i have a date. i’ve stopped responding to these emails from the fake profile. you don’t have to be aggressive when you talk with him about this but i would be direct and ask him straight out where you stand and explain the confusion he’s creating for you. also, he is seeking a long term relationship and he loves love as i do (from what he’s told me). she later said she would do the same and we took off the auto-renewal but we both never bothered to hide our profiles. it seems that this was the choice he was making prior to you making an issue of it so i really don’t think your actions need much scrutinizing. i mean i just met the guy, who am i to say that he cant. at the end of the day, i think everyone needs to make decisions that they feel are best for their own situation. i need a break from online dating so i’ve hidden my profile. know this has become a long message, but i really hope you find the time to reply. he even had the brashness to say in his email to this imaginary girl (who was me): ” i am also very honest with my partners, nothing can be built on lies…. it’s just what always happens to me and i really would appreciate it if you would tell me what my next move should be and how this should turn out/how he feels and what he may be thinking. if hes searching for something better which i feel is the case as much as it hurts me im not afraid to be alone. friends all think he seems to really like me… i hope s too.’t it be as simple as this: at some point you have “the talk”: are we dating other people? you have different needs, different goals, different perceptions – no reason for anyone to get hurt. when i quizzed him, he said casual meant no rules & includes going on dates. month 4, i told him i was really enjoying getting to know him, and that my feelings for him were growing in a way i had not expected, and realized that i had reached a point where i would like to include him more into my life and allow him to meet my children (they are teenagers now)., forgot to mention, i go over to his place a lot and everytime i leave, he begs me to stay and says he hates that i have to leave. guys are just passive, so it’s hard to know if there’s any issue here. things had been going wonderfully, we spent a lot of time together, almost every other day, and texting/phone conversations every day. my friend asked if i check to see if he had gotten on his profile, so i did, and that sunday night he had been on. i guess my question is, if it’s almost been a year and his feelings haven’t changed since we first started seeing each other and he’s still going on dating websites, should i even try to thinkta he would someday want a relationship? this after he had spent friday with me & had told me he never shares his bed with anyone. lol but then proceeded to tell me that i “grew on him”.’m curious though, maree: when you forced a “swift ending one way or another” with these guys (prior to the last) did you ever first force the “let’s be exclusive” talk or did you just end things? if he really cares about you, being open and honest like this shouldn’t bother him. i tried to explain to him i want you to see where i’m coming from, that i was so shocked and hurt that he did that…. later in the week he asks if i had any cancellations and i told him i hadn’t. have tried everything and online dating is still not working! but he’s open to me talking to him about it when i feel the need to. as it turns out, he continued to see his fwb through mid december, sometimes he was ‘with’ both of us on the same day! once that talk is done, i think it’s much easier to get a real feel for how much respect (or lack thereof) a man is showing. person who wants you and only you will make it happen and let you know without veiled deceptive wordsmithing..the “needle in the haystack” ohh that makes me so mad. if what you want is exclusive, you need to be very specific.! snatched my phone out of my hand said he would ” f me up” if i went on a date with another man even though we’re broken up! 6months we decided to meet up again finally and it was just incredible! i hope we can remain friends but understand if you don’t! am 45 living in nyc and just getting over a relationship…it ended really well and we are good friends. it wasn’t just becuase of him but out of 8 guys i met everyone lied aobut martial status & job among having 10 year old pictures up. if some girl is into you, but you’re not into her, you’re gonna keep browsing online. we both want a faithful and loyal partner, and since his last girlfriend cheated on him constantly while he was deployed to iraq (3 times), he said he really doesn’t have time for games. don’t know what to do at this point – my friends say just lay low, wait it out, don’t contact him anymore and see what happens – my gut is leading me into the mindset that he found someone else while i was away, or just decided he went too fast and is now backing off way too much. then, one day, out of the blue i decided to see if he was still using the dating site and he was online and chatting with girls. in many of the other cases, the guys don’t clearly commit or label the relationship. hes very loving and affectionate which completely goes against the grain of him being emotionally closed off. i’m scared because i think i’m already falling for him. a profile only says “i am not so lazy that i am reluctant to reinvest 3 hours of my time if we don’t work out. then today he calls me like nothing’s wrong and when he could tell i was uneasy talking to him he made a big fuss and said ‘well i can tell you’re in a bad mood so bye. he didn’t say marriage, but his intentions are long term with me and he is excited to see a long term future together.” so i told him i was going to start seeing other people…. notion that men are afraid to commit while women are not isn’t true. expected to hear from him more, but i heard less from him. that said, i do agree that in many cases respect is also playing a large role. met a guy online from okc in january 2014, i was evicted 6 weeks afterwards for violating my lease after letting family members stay with me. i texted and welcomed him back and told him to enjoy. but again, maybe i misunderstand what exclusive means in this case. it has got to a point where now people do meet ups and then formally go on a date etc. i just think i could get hurt if i asked him where things are going more so than if i just moved on, perhaps if i contacted him less he might get the message…. last week, while just hugging and feeling so happy being there, my heart was racing with emotion that it actually startled. i checked, and again i was right on the money (i should have read this blog before so i did not do what i did again) i called him out, this time he flat out lied and got verbally abusive. i was really upset (also was pmsing) and asked if i had been wrong in assuming we were exclusive. i would also like to include in here that she has sent him text messages from her phone, and is talking about setting up a date with him. both talk on the phone/text daily and having a having a sexual relationship with each other. i was very upset & contacted him – he came over & not only calmed me down but sorted things out for me. so how on earth can it be acceptable to do it online! exactly the same thing happened to me with them – and at the time i tried contacting them, but i was ignored. you just never know but i have given up on online dating. then even though my fake profile kept telling him i wasn’t interested he kept asking telling me i (real me) was ok with this since he’d been ‘honest’ with me. there’s the possibility of a move for him in the future after his military career ends, and he has asked me to go with him if that possibility becomes a reality – i accepted. thing is in the begining he was referring to our future hopefully it would lead toi marriage and refferred me as his wife, love etc. think i’m hot but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to think so. he said things to me like “you have a lot of stress in your life, and it’s stressing me out etc."barbara,I asked a male boss years ago why older men liked younger women. i guess my thought is that some more time together could help convince you both that it’s a good match (or not) and then all the wondering wouldn’t be required. many times she ‘broke up’ with him via text, and then would come over later that day and have sex with him. sure, there is a degree of romance in having the guy take down the profile on his own. i took down my profile after several months yet she did not. we met on a dating website, and the relationship took off right from the start. i did ask him two months ago to tell me if he wasn’t interested in me he just had to tell me. lied when he said he added pictures to his profile just to see if i would notice and to see if i was still online. it sucked because my friend offered to give me rides to his dorm but now that’s canceled. i can be rather forthright in these matters – the usual sympton of having been hurt terribly in the past and made a fool of etc. a month ago, i complained about his dating profile still being active. he doesn’t want to take it down due to wanting to be with only me. he had cancelled his membership (and told me he was doing this) about 3 weeks ago. i saw that his profile was still up, which was a bummer since he said he would take it down and he hadn’t. no wonder so many lose faith in the online dating venue. she said all the right things and we spoke of only being interested in each other. he claimed a guy he worked with asked him to check out and see if his wife was messing around. he takes out so much time from his busy schedule to skype with me, which he initiates a lot, and he drove to see me and paid and was a huge gentleman. just as some people have trouble committing, others are far too quick to try to do so. on monday he asked if he could see me on tuesday and i told him i wouldn’t mind but i wasn’t getting intimate since i didn’t like the idea of him flirting and dating other women. i don’t like to come across as the vulnerable one & dating commitment phobes in the past has made me tougher so i don’t want to bring up a conversation of where are things going or mention his profile still being up. – my personal opinion is that you have every right to be concerned. are you ok with easier opportunities via online dating while shagging her? we both care really care about each other and want to stay in each other’s life. the site was deleted and i never heard anything else about it. a little reminder on what they’ve already found could do some good…and if it doesn’t at least you can be confident that you need to keep looking for the right guy. to get to the point here just like many of these other stories i felt something was off with him, i wasn’t getting the morning texts anymore. you can continue to hang out with him but start looking to date other guys as well? that we are at different places in regards to what we want at the moment, although we do want the same thing in the end, a loving, solid relationship. of course, many of us can’t handle dating a few people at a time without going crazy, so if you end up exclusive with someone “by default,” it doesn’t mean they’re exclusive with you until it’s discussed. i recently started seeing this guy and we met through an online site a long time ago but we just started talking through facebook. i got really sad about he still having it up and went into my zone for the rest of the night. we still text once a week and i usually text first or he does if i don’t. i dont know, but the last time i tried to have an indepth discussion about something with him he said i was “pushing” him and we broke up for 2 weeks. was/am in the same situ, whatever happened in your situation? think i’d try to shrug it off for now. maybe wait a week or so and see if the profile comes down on its own. he said he respected that about me, and that he had not seen or been with anyone else in a while. i do hope to hear back from you about my situation, you seem to have solid and sincere advice. all this bull about the guy being scared of commitment and just being a guy is bull crap. past 3 days have been really wierd, we were suposed to go see a movie together after i was off work and i hadnt heard from him since noon, had texted him quite a few times with no response. we met on a chat room site back in june. gaining my trust, after my past, is not an easy task and he has managed to do it. i had been on a few dates from the site, and was just about to lose interest completely when i met him. if they are still online while doing all this but say it’s your fault for not asking earlier, than find someone who has your best interests at heart. he texted me as soon as he got home and i thought things will progress.?Any suggestions on how to deal with this now am i just wasting my time and just move on? a relationship can be whatever two people decide it to be, at least that’s my belief. and after a few mins said i needed to go. we our going out again which we’re both excited about. it would be the same thing to me if i asked a woman to date me exclusively. i look today and it’s back up with modifications? we talked for hours and both expressed how comfortable we felt talking to each other about any topic that you can think of. we got back together after less than a day though (i broke up with him out of haste and anger of something else he did). more about relationship coach marni battista and dating with dignity. if you use that approach with him, i would hope it would go pretty well. he says wow u look jus like my friend, are you her! and today when we were texting i said (in response to something), “i mean i like you enough to know that i don’t wanna see others.? and do u think he is using me for sex ?’m definitely not defending what he did (i disagree with it and think it was wrong of him to do so) but you did get a much better response than many women: he removed the profile quickly and i think he was a lot more honest than most guys in admitting that creating it made him feel better. – i need to wrap this up, it’s way longer than i meant for it to be! i know he got my messages yesterday i messaged him on facebook and it tells you exactly when he read it which was this morning around 8. i have never done online dating myself but because of my boyfriends profile i now log in under a fake profile every day to check his activity. he did & told me his dad’s very ill – he seemed so upset. tell me, am i just being used until something better comes along? don’t think i’ll ever hear back from him. i don’t know what to do, put my profile back up, question him again or what. i meet this guy on a dating site 3 months ago and we do have feelings for each other. but also texts me and tells me how much he misses me and how much he dreams about me, blah, blah, blah. i mean he seems like a decent guy and all but i guess i’m just worried.! it’s going to be hard to trust a guy after this. i said it was up to him (i want him to take it down because he wants to not because i want him to…) i did say that him keeping his profile active made me feel that he wished to keep his options open and that if he wanted me to feel that way then to carry on. a couple months ago i started to have a “gut” feeling that he was doing things that he didn’t want me to know about.! i contacted him after over 3 days & we started communicating but only as friends..he said no, just that he is struggling at the moment. up to receive new blog posts straight to your inbox:Should your spouse also be your best friend? i recently met a man i like very much – we met for drinks/appetizers, had a great time, lots of laughter and connection, nice goodnight kiss as well.! around the same time he texted & i started sending very cryptic responses. this is how your valentine’s day is going rhia. he met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. – i would generally expect that a man telling a woman that he would like to date her exclusively would be received positively. if he is honest and admits to having a commitment issue, could you give him more time? today comes by and not one text from him all day. i believed him and since we had such a great and easygoing time with each other, i just went with the flow., it is possible that he just likes getting emails to stroke his ego and isn’t looking for a relationship. i understand not wanting to fight and dropping it but his excuse for being on the site was pretty weak…. i do have some advice but let’s first look at one reader’s email and user this as an example for better understanding where you stand with your guy:My issue comes with him still having his profile up, and with my curiosity getting the best of me, i check almost everyday just to see when he last logged on – seems to be every few days or so. are working with yelp and spotify to make your first date a success! if he sent it that would be more concerning to me. i told him he shouldn’t be taking his frustrations out on me & that he can date my ‘friend’. its a similar situation to the above scenarios – he really has his act together and has made it very clear that he is sure that he wants me in his life (so he doesn’t say anything like “i’m not sure” or “i can’t commit”). a lot of guys (this one included), the clarity at which a woman is able to say something exists isn’t clear to us at all (and i speak as a married man who has conversations like this from time to time with an exasperated wife who just doesn’t understand why i don’t get the obvious). he says if you can keep your options open, why can’t i’ and i’ve told him several times i don’t want to keep my options open. any other girl came to me with the same dilemma, i’d tell her the exact same thing dating expert evan marc katz would say. i told him if i ever considered dating another man i would be honest. i try and not let these things effect me but of course they do from time to time, my friends are always telling me i need someone who is going to be there for me…a superman…and yes this guy has understood things, told me i could talk to him, however recently their was another family episode and my guy wanted “a break” ok. just want to take the time to say thank you very much for your insight and guidance. he is gone the third day only, and when he arrived there he texted me that getting a wifi hotspot is problematic, but that he would figure it out. but what if he doesn’t… i cannot go on for years knowing the profile is there. while it does look like he may be being a bit dishonest with you, there is a chance that he may, for some reason, think you’re not interested in a serious relationship. this might come off as being too ‘charming’ or ‘player-like’, but it’s actually not. literlally with in mins of saying good nite to me he was online, he disappeared for a few min and then came back up and now his profile was saying he was looking for a relationship, so it went from nothing serious to looking for! at least some of the guys will admit they’re keeping their profile online updated or keeping their options open. the daily matches argument/excuse is about as weak as they come. a friend advised me to keep dating other people, but i’ve never really worked that way… but i do feel i need to back off a bit from this man. so i can see how the boys would struggle to manage that and think that continuing conversations online harmless… it is an enormous confidence booster, flattering to receive attention and the thrill of first dates really good fun. continued seeing each other and finally i just told him that i had made it clear in my profile that i was seeking a long term relationship and that he had indicated that in his profile as well.’s best way to let a great guy know i’ve chosen someone else? i brought up the online thing & he said he was emailing 2 girls – ‘nothing interesting’. i have told my parents and he has claimed that he’s told his as well. i confronted him about it and told him how much it confused me and hurt me, since i thought we were still good, and that he wanted things to work out. there was more to the text that told me his close friends were there at the pub with him. that aside we normally go out at least once a month or every other month. second, the idea that he can’t delete his profile because he only logs on from his phone is silly…it take 30 seconds on a computer to remove it. the issue now is figuring out how and in what capacity. all you can really do is let him or her go in peace, and hope that maybe one day soon, he or she will realize before it’s too late what a truly great catch you really are. have met an army man on an online dating site about 6 weeks ago, and we pretty much hit it off right from the beginning. he’s removed his dating profiles, although i don’t like that i had to get very demanding about that. finally, just because you have been seeing each other for months doesn’t mean it is exclusive/official (place a word you prefer). the reader above waited six weeks and i think that is very patient. we talk on the phone most nights since we are busy and live about 45 minutes away from each other. things are well, but i’m still struggling with it all. after a few days, i told him i’d done that and asked if he would. he asked to meet so i suggested lunch on saturday – since that’s a harmless, friendly thing! 4 units so busy but he bought it to my attention that he saw me online previous day. sum it all up: i would expect that within the first month of actively dating each other that you should have an idea of where you stand and i would expect his profile to be down. if you see that he’s active all the time, you could send him an email from your dating account to his and ask him why he’s so active on the site. ren – at this point i’d suggest giving him a bit more time. to turn things around he tells me he likes me very much and misses me when he’s gone. i told him i wasn’t the kind of person looking for a casual relationship and he confirmed he was also looking for a long-term relationship. visiting and using their profile is an indicator that they do not want to be exclusive.’ve decided to try online dating and found yourself talking to a man that seems promising. who’s to say there aren’t other profiles out there that i am not even aware of? eventually you will become one of the “regulars” on these sites and the opposite sex will avoid you. when she let’s me know, i can normally respond in a way that makes her happier!
When to Delete Your Online Dating Profile i’d say that long of “exclusive” dating should be long enough for someone to know if they’re ready for that step. i have to add that i am 41 and he is 36, but he said he doesn’t care and neither do i. after we had sex i asked him about a lot of things. “if then it dosn’t work out boys – by all means go back online, chat and date all the people in the world that you desire! before you begin to wonder what he or she wants, though, we recommend you begin by taking a look inward.: online dating magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. i felt kinda hurt even though we aren’t in a relationship. we ended up sleeping together and he spent the night at my place. if a woman continued intereacting with men she was meeting online, the man she’d been planning a future with wouldn’t dismiss it as innocent. that was fine, i did keep a check to see if hed come on and there was nothing for a few days and now its started again, hes been on and off for the last few days now. later that night i noticed he had taken his profile off and i was very happy. then about two months after, i went on the site with my friends user info and searched for him.. but i can’t relax with her until i know. she showed me the profile and it said he was interested in meeting women for dates. i called match to make sure i did not falsely accuse him of being online if he was not. How do you tell if he is interested in dating you exclusively? i get that you can view profiles for free… but my thing is that if a person is into you seeing you more than once a week – nine times out of ten you have nothing to worry about… dating more than one person is not something most guys are good at and let’s face it… it is too damn expensive. mine is pretty similar however, like most others, i really don’t know how to handle it. previous post:how to start a relationship when you’re out of towni have a client who is dating online. do like that you’re reading the 5 love languages together. and that’s most often how the “real” world works: the days of grade school where we are forced to ask someone to “go steady” are behind us. last weekend we were supposed to go out but i got tied up and i told him and he was pretty bummed. do women in their 30s not want to date men in their 40s? i am sorry i know it is painful to hear . i sent one text on that first day, and one on the second day, and decided that was it. i did bring up exclusivity but he said isn’t it too early? is why i reassured her that she didn’t have to remove her profile. and lets just say that because i went out for a girls night instead of hangin with him, that he responded to this other woman. i know it’s annoying but he’s being open about it and i don’t feel like anything you describe is “shady” (yet). it’s one thing to say someone is the only one for you, it’s another thing to actually live that out. i was thinking of sealing the deal the second time we see each other. i don’t know if he’s been online or not but should i be worried? any insecurities i had were short lived – he has proved to me through his actions that i can trust him. he said men formulate the image of their ideal woman when they are young and they grow older and change but the ideal doesn…"emily, the original on should your spouse also be your best friend? just finished it on the assumption that he had had plenty long enough to decide if he liked me a little bit or not. they are not looking out for you if they still are checking out the menu while proclaiming they are crazy about you. i’m afraid that i’m starting to fall for him. he doesn’t have to read her mind, she should know that the reason why he took his profile down it’s because he wants to be exclusive. so based on my observation i am assuming that he was checking his profile for a minute or two then logged out. i don’t whether i should initiate the what are we talk or wait for him…. there’s enough confidence that it will work to ‘go out together’ and invest in intimacy, then people should stop using dating sites. i wish these readers had written me beforehand because this is often the worst approach to take (at least from this guy’s point-of-view). and then i saw that he actually had been online in the last 3 or so days. of the last couple of weeks ive had this nagging suspicious feeling and i couldn’t put my finger on it. i met this woman off of okcupid and we have been talking for months, and been seeing each other and having a great time, and seems really interested, yet she still has both her pof and okc profiles active. it’s not that he doesn’t want to keep spending time with you, it just means that he wants to keep his options open until someone he’s more into comes along. that for the first time since his divorce, he is ready for a full on commitment, and that it just took him a really long time to get there. he says he cares for me, likes being with me, and likes the way things are but i don’t think he’s committed to me. or am i a time filler till he finds something better.!2 days ago i checked to see if he had taken his pof profile down (along with another one i had found several months ago – sexsearch dating site).. i think it’s all because of the recent stuff with my brother…. if after a week his is still up, you could try dropping hints: maybe mention that you took your profile down or talk about how you enjoy spending time with him.)anyway,i said, so i am just going to enjoy this while we’re here. was really keen to see a pic of me so i showed him a few not too close up, he kept asking for closer pics…………. you are old and wise enough to read the tos and have basic respect. i’ve met his family and friends, he takes me out everywhere and even wants to book time off with me. whilst it’s early days, if a man is interested my gut instinct is that he wont risk you being snapped up by another and if he’s prepared to, why wait? but revenge wasn’t sweet as he then sent me an email about his lack of self confidence and his poor self image and how it gave him such an ego boost as his mother never loved him blah, blah, blah, blah. he remains curious and i increasingly uncertain of where i stand. find out how i failed at first but then had great success with online dating – download my free 100+ page online dating guide ebook today! he didn’t reply to that one anymore because he obviously had gone offline already. completely deleted my profile dont know if i should make a new one or what. you know i’m not a bad person and i did try to tell you i wasn’t thinking us in a relationship would work. still, these are areas you will need him to define. i had touched on a similar topic last year in my post my boyfriend has kept his online dating profile active. i check his page (because it’s viewable to the public) and he’s made several modifications today. sex until you both take down your profiles and agree to be exclusive. a healthy normal relationship should consists of time together and time apart. i am in my late 40s and was seeing and sleeping with a man in his late 50s who i learned was very active on the dating site we met on. this whole situation sounds to me like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. about a week or so ago i ask him what we are. that in mind i wanted to review one of the recent emails i’ve received from a reader and offer some additional advice for this problem. he lives about 120 miles away and is busy finishing up his residency., this guy may not even be thinking about his profile and might be totally confused if you disappeared. he acts very much like a boyfriend but wait a minute he refuses to acknowledge the gf/ bf thing. we both said that we had a great time after it was over. he has had it rough…a lot of ups and downs with his ex who has refused to let him see his babygirl. he said ‘no’, he said he had posted those pictures to see if i would notice, and because he was curious to know if i had been online lately, which he saw that i hadn’t. word travels fast and unless you care about how you treat people, consider reexamining your disclosures and intent. we worked things out and he promised me he would delete it asap. is not a river in egypt and you can do a non member search to check if he or she has lied to you before. a few days after i posted, he and i went to lunch and had a serious talk about it. not by his charm or anything, but by the effort he puts into being with me and everything. i am aware that there is a 30 minutes lag off in okc, like you will still appear online even though you already logged out. now, he only goes online for a couple of minutes at a time whenever he does log in., i don’t think after two months anyone would accuse you of “rushing”. on friday (13 jan) he tells me that he was going to his mates place for dinner so if i’d like to join. nothing amazing has ever come out of those four words. after a while i replied & said that my friend had told me she’s seeing him. this doesn’t make leaving his profile up is right…but it could mean that he is committed to you even though he is taking an action that suggests otherwise (so don’t lose all hope! had not been looking at emails that came from his dating site, let along responding to them. i don’t go to the gym to not work out. he’s opened up to me about lots of deep emotional things. to play devils advocate: let’s imagine he totally forgot about this profile. don’t do it unless it’s what you want and it feels right. – i guess i don’t understand what the difference is between being exclusive and being boyfriend/girlfriend. have the same story as above, i started dating this guy a month ago. i had a longer night than him but i wasn’t going to pull back. so this was just the tactic he needed to reel me in hook line and sinker! he is affectionate and kind, all the traits i was looking for. it’s been a wonderful week and i decide to see if he’s up to anything else and low and behold i find him a jdate, jwed, passion, hotmatch, and zoosk. one month down the line he stopped refferring to out future, except he will only speak to me current situation and only refers me as gf. here are some guidelines for helping you answer this question for yourself:Am i taking down my profile just because the other person asked me to do? clients"i have met a man i can only describe as practically perfect. texted me when he was out with friends, letting me know where he was and that he would call me once he got home etc. need a bit of advice as i’m recently dealing with this. we have a great time laughing, joking, talking and we both have told each how much fun we are having and how excited we are to see each ofher again. for example:Regardless of the other person, you feel committed to exploring the relationship and therefore don’t want to lead on other online daters who may contact you. saw each other again, two weeks afterwards, i went to visit him this time.. i ask for a proper goodbye and he hugs me and hesitates to kiss me……. do with online dating site, so…what had this punk done? he is super attentive when we are together, has introduced me to all of his friends who have warmly accepted me into their circle as one of their own. asked why,he said i’m stoking him,and he will take it off when he want’s i’m not going to tell him when,and we had a huge misunderstanding over that,even if i was not making an issue,he stopped replying my msg’s,did not return my calls. he invited me to stay at his place and we again had a great time, very easygoing, no tension or uncomfortable feeling at all. i met someone online a year ago and we started dating six months ago.? i felt suspicious but right away he said he wanted to do friday or sunday. would you be amazed by the love i have for my wife? i’ve made it clear i’m all his its time he did the same. in the morning things were as usual great – he asked for my advice about some property & financial matters & we talked about everything under the sun. he then texted me and said he too tired was but i saw he was on his match account. i asked him if things were still good because i really wanted things to work out between us. that weekend we texted each other every day and spoke about every other day, since we both have time consuming jobs. i was chatting/emailing a guy for about a month, we met and seemed to get along really well. his title on the site is “just looking” but his goal is to “fall in love”…. and he announces to them that we are moving in together. but after three years of giving my heart to him i feel that i deserve more than that, i feel that he is being disrespectful and dishonest if he is spending all this time with me and saying he loves me, we are even doing 5 love languages together to help our relationship. all that being said, i do have some family issues in my life, i have a brother who has a drug/alcohol problem who is always getting in trouble that i have to look out for, my mother passed away 5 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. i am in the same boat and i wil be having a discussion with my so called guy about this asap. once he wants to commit, you’re willing to commit as well. breaking up is the easy solution when you’re operating under the guise of a traditional relationship, but there’s no such thing as traditional when it comes to online dating. we were approved he never moved in because he has his own home. he immediately guessed my name – so guess at this point he’s only seeing me. i just assume that if someone really likes you, then they would delete their online profile right away and they wouldn’t be so afraid of commitment. you should open up to men you’ve never considered before. i asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (some of whom met my friends online and some who are or have dated online in the past) they all confirmed clearly that if the guy dosn’t remove his profile voluntarily following the moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even ‘by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally) then it is clear he is not entirely certain about you or he is not entirely ready to committ to a relationship. i have been told by a close friend (who is male) that i need to be chased and show him that i am not at his beck and call. have been dating this guy i met on okcupid for a few months now. you had the conversation about killing both profiles there is no excuse to open the emails or winks even now that you know the tidbit about the cookie auto log in i just told you about. my problem is when i date i can only focus on 1 guy and 1 guy only. i also think it’s reasonable to bring it up! it takes is one act of unprotected or oral sex and a habitual liar with high risk behavior to expose you to a lifetime of emotional and physical problems.! this after he tells me he’s the luckiest man to have a great catch like me. and if this is the case, that’s great news to know right away because you can then start to look more realistically at their potential as your match, and continue dating both online and off! i told him i like the idea of living together, but seriously needed to talk about things before it could actually happen..but im starting to feel a bit strained because i just dont know where this is all going. i said i just needed some reassurance and he told me to be reassured. after reading many of these stories i have somewhat of an undertstanding that this is not uncommon. when a day ago he made a point in asking me how it was going on the site. we have a lot of common interests and have so much fun together, but have had a couple of awkward conversations about exclusivity and where this may be heading. you can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here. i texted him yesterday and he said that he “saw” my text but was “super busy and forgot”. cmb premium to see exclusive feedback on bagels’ chat activity (android). even after all this thinking and reading: i still don’t understand entirely. he has met my family and gets along great with them, i have met his mom and some of his friends. i said, “dare i ask if we can see other people? i’ve talked to a lot of women where this type of situation can drag on for months only to see the man start dating another woman. that feels like it could go wrong it lots of different ways. he’s spoken a lot about his parents and himself and his friends and his work. i could honestly envision us together for a long long time, and it just came as a blow. friend of mine said that he is a pisces and thats just the way they are. – i think it’s likely that he’ll find another excuse, but you can explain to him how to hide his profile: log into match then click profile then settings and then set the profile to hidden. i’d hope that he’d respond positively and remove it. you two have ongoing sex in any form , have respect for yourself as well as her and anyone else you are whispering to in bed – and either become exclusive if its going well or let her find a man who knows her worth and would like to share life with her. he was right where i was with my opinion, so again – a match. he is still getting messages from other women on there and i told him that she accidentally hit it (i didn’t even act mad) and he turned it around like it was me and said i was probably snooping (this time i really wasn’t! recently, we met up for the first time and we hit it off pretty well. in this way, a couple is on the same page and agrees on the meaning of certain reciprocal actions in a relationship. i started by telling him i wasn’t ready to move in together and needed more time..what am i going to be with you, sleep with you, & be wondering whats going on; on the side with the dating site…. he’s not that into you if he’s still looking at other women online. that’s why i am confused of what to think and do now……. for example, at the end of a nice evening together (especially if the two of you are commenting on how much you enjoy spending time together) you could bring up your concerns on not knowing where you stand in the relationship. me, this guy is saying he loves you but he is not showing it. we just launched cmb premium, featuring our first-ever exclusives for…. i’m afraid if i put my profile back up that it will make the situation worse, plus i really don’t want to. leaving a profile up, you are sending a message that you are continuing to look. was feeling unsure (trust issues from being cheated on 2 out of 3 boyfriends) and so i created a “fake” profile (something i am not very proud of). honesty between you and the person you are seeing regularly. he goes to this site and changes his status without thinking about his profile text and logs out.? because rushing into a conversation like this could scare the other person if you bring it up too soon. i think you should make sure some others in your life are aware of what’s going on…i don’t feel very equipped to help you very well if things are turning abusive."to make a long story short, i am so happy because i met mr. people can be quite different than how they present themselves online. i slightly said some of my concerns today (coming off as joking) and he lied and said he hasn’t been online since the time of our date to take his profile down. he then said, “maybe i am looking for a committed relationship and i just haven’t found the person to have that with yet. what if this other guy he sees has a car and they meet up regularly? – i do like your friends advice to continue dating others. i will tell you that he does the same with his job though. well, he apparently took me requesting time to think as pretty much a break up. guess i’m wondering if he’s interested or not.’s a situation i’d appreciate your perspective:Have been doing the match thing for a few months. instead, it’s something you think has to be done as a courtesy and out of respect for that person when you know you’re going to eventually mess up. easier access to women and men verses the old fashioned way of courting and meeting. and i don’t feel like i wanna see others either. thing you can do if you feel ready to remove your profile after one to three months of amazing-ness with mr. he said he had in the past gone from one serious relationship to another and wants to see what dating around is like. or just let it go and don’t make a big deal of it and just focused on our relationship? i know you care for him and i know that it hurts, i’m just afraid that he’s establishing a pattern where he’s showing that he’s going to continue to hurt you throughout your relationship. about three months into dating, i knew i was starting to fall in love with him and i was bothered that his profile was still active, he would be on at least every other day. instead i think if there is no mention from him after 6 week i would find it easier to just ignore him & move on to dating over guys. he wanted to look, he could hide his profile and still peruse the women (assuming you’re on a site that has this feature). however, now that he’s made the commitment i think it makes the next steps easier.’s tricky to suggest an amount of time set in stone for when you should expect things to move forward as every relationship is different.’ve been dating a guy i met online for almost six months, but he won’t delete his online dating profile. he also tells me that he hasn’t told any women that he loved them since his ex wife – and they have been divorced 11+ years at this point. am thinking of giving him a few weeks and see what happens but at the same time i am concerned as well and confused as to why his profile is still active and he often logs on. after about 6 weeks he freaked out and said he wanted to feel more “single” and that he wasn’t sure we were right for each other. after the first date their was no question weather or not if i wanted to see him again, hope to be his gf and etc.!First off let me say that many men keep their profiles active even though they are interested in the woman they are regularly dating. i stupidly rang him and asked if he wanted to be with me."i'm getting to
know and like men with an entirely new perspective. he calls me every good name in the book, such as “baby”, “my girl”, and the works. he wants to have the best of both worlds — that of being single, and that of being in a relationship – which now leaves us at the point of either breaking up or renegotiating the terms of our relationship. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot."i feel more confident and relaxed and i'm not even sure it matters if
i meet the one. across the country, today is the first day i haven’t heard from him at all, even though i’ve made several attempts. so my question is should i be concern about his profile is still up and he’s still checking it, since i never mention or ask him to take it down. at this time he posted that he was “single” on ok and so did i. he finally set up some time for us to talk, but i was frustrated that at this point, he had already given his landlord 30 days notice. finding out the basement roommate and he actually did have an intimate relationship after swearing up and down since july that he never touched her was the final straw of many in the red flags and numerous chances to be honest. each time i saw/found out my guy went online after going out with me for a while i felt sick, duped, confused about where i stand, no longer confident about how he felt about me or what i thought the relationship was, suddently totally insecure and worst of all foolish…. this means no going against his grain or his rules. why would a man want to keep me as his friend after he knows he’s messed up? basically i met this guy on a marriage website and we got to know each other of the basic stuff. the next morning i asked why he always tried to meet me during weekdays and he said it was just a coincidence cos his weekends would get so busy.’m confused because things haven’t changed since we met.”) for men that time period can be even longer, as it can take men from one to three months to decide if they want to take themselves off the market. that you want her and her only and if the feeling works both ways. nov to jan, we went on a date once every 3 weeks, always having the time of our lives. this last weekend he finally got the courage to inform his mother that he had proposed (6 months ago! he texts me the other day and says he it on pof just out of pure boredom and then tells me he misses me and wishes he could see me. brad, i really enjoyed the post and seems that many of us experience the same issue. one thing you shouldn’t do is verbally attack the guy or start throwing out ultimatums. he was moving the relatiosnhip way to fast wanting to move in etc. it’s just that the sent messages show when that user has been online). i suppose that is were trust comes into place, and mine is a bit shaken. seems really into me, seems genuinely happy to hang out with me and to really want to hang out but we haven’t had the exclusivity talk and i am honestly not going to go down that road and fish for information for another 2-4 weeks. his status updating from:“interested in meeting women for dates”. 10 minutes of weekly entertainment isn’t worth losing endless hours of entertainment from you,” he said. it seems to me that many people want to be open to long distance relationships but then when they get in one, they decided to keep their options open for something closer. he was suddenly not wanting me to meet his friends. logic aside, i would ask any reader who has this issue the same thing i asked the woman who contacted me: are the two of you exclusive and have you both made it clear that you are only interested in dating each other? we have fun when we’re together but i just don’t know if i should trust him. and then he asked me to accompany him to his brother’s girlfriend’s b’day. that way you’ll know if you’re on the same page or not. how can a man give me a stupid meaningless ring and tell me he can’t to get married to me etc and then do something wreckless? ive taken family vacations with him and his father so im thinking things are just fine. on sunday he told me he thought it was harmless to email though he was only seeing me.. i also haven’t heard from him all day yesterday, but i didn’t think anything of it until i found out about the badoo thing. he said she was just a fan but nothing more so i let it go for a bit. met my boyfreind on the site in april 2012, we spoke over txt for like 3 weeks and met up. that being said, almost 100% of the time when i talk to women in this situation they want to follow the advice your friend is giving you: lay low, wait it out. – i don’t think you’re reading too much into things. i even told him i had to get his confirmation because i have trust issues with previous guys cheating on me. i’ve been dating this guy i met on pof for 3mts now. he doesn’t have a problem with it and i obviously don’t either. he gave me a key to his place also and told me to stop by whenever. he answered back telling me that he knew i’d been online too. after all, you don’t want to jinx the relationship before it even has a chance to start. it’s not clear to me what you’re trying to figure out…. my membership came to an end shortly after we started emailing and i chose not to renew – i’m now off of the site, and he knows this. in the first few weeks we were together i was worried about how my daughter would react to being around a new guy. meets bagel (cmb) is expanding our service beyond helping people discover others online to….. which is solely his decision… however i have the right to vocalize my thoughts which is what i did… i would never tell him to close his account and also to those of you that are upset that you man has his account out there… how do you know unless yours is out there or you are still online? yeah, it would be nice if when he got the “hi” email if he would have said to himself, “oh, that reminds me, i should hide my profile! so he said that he would take it down since it bothered me. however, if she refuses to be miss right now and makes it clear that she’ll accept nothing less than a commitment, that’s okay.’ve had this problem today and it’s very simple to me. i’d hope that if there was real chemistry, things could work out (cars or not). whenever he said he would call or text, he did, and in situations when he was held up, he would always let me know. i’m not saying this is what is happening but i would argue he seems to deserve a little more benefit of the doubt than some of the other guys discussed here. until then, people are living through a fantasy to some extent and putting themselves at risk for unmet expectations. taking it down or hiding it is a very weak positive indicator of anything. ms curious – i’m not sure anything is jumping out at me here as requiring a lot of worry. well as it turns out, that wasn’t actually true. he had told me earlier that he wanted to get off the dating site. the same thing happened to me, but i was so confident in what was going on between myself and this amazing man such great chemistry and connection that i didnt question it. he might just be hiding that he’s not ready to commit. seems he wants me on his terms but doesn’t want anyone else having me. there’s enough confidence that it will work to ‘go out together’ and invest in intimacy, then people should stop using dating sites. don’t do it if it’s being done for manipulation. i brought it up with him, as i couldn’t pretend i hadn’t seen his profile. he visited me one weekend (stayed in a hotel), i visited him the following weekend (stayed with him), two weekends pass and he came to visit me again this past weekend. don’t do it, if you honestly don’t know the new prospect well.” so i admitted what i had done, he got mad that i didn’t trust him, and i got mad that he was still on there. his only real response to all of this is that he is a different person now than he was then., i’m in a similar situation to most on here. he asked me to cancel the recurring payments in paypal, which i did for him (english is his second language and he’s not terribly computer savvy). yet my gut says there is something not right about his profile being up still. a person has no issue dating and having sex with more than one person while sublimating the cold reality of “it’s none of your business what i do” than their true self is in the limelight., i thought i was the only one in this situation. your own profile down for a personal reason such as “i’m taking a break from online dating” or “i find myself checking my inbox too often” is perfectly fine. i’m having doubts if he’s still interested but i view his page anonymously and he hasn’t been active for 2 weeks and also removed his pictures. met a guy on a dating website about 3 weeks ago, and ever since then (tons of long emails back and forth), we’ve been really attached. so he can see if he knows someone…and then what? stop fooling one another with the notion that we should not have expectations. he did not introduce me as the “girlfriend,” but simply by name. set up some boundaries to lessen (not eliminate) the likelihood of this happening to me again. as we are very up front bout most things in general.
Online dating etiquette | The Independent we decided to put the apartment in both of are names. his last email he said he was thankful to me for giving him the kick & the confidence to get back out there. it has been another 2 weeks after that conversation and his profile is still active. is us women risks a lot of emotions right away when by fact we should be more objective in the first place. i replied next morning and told him i had other plans since i thought we were on a break. and my rule for kate is “just let me know what you’re thinking”. i don’t write the others off by no means but just usually really like just 1. he know it bothered me the first day he “forgot his phone” so why would he keep doing it unless he was purposefully ignoring me possibly? during those 6+ years, i focused on raising my two sons, building my career, healing and finding myself and my own happiness. i texted him that i missed him, i havent mentioned anything to him about deleting his profile, i told him i deleted mine and he said he cant delete his from his phone. its called self control or let her go find someone who will value himself and her enough to not open those tempting emails and winks. i do need to sit down with him face to face and ask him but i just never seem to have the confidence to do so as i worry i am being too demanding. admit the date was perfect but i had bit of committment issue to because i got hurt in the past and due to this i dumped him on the third date but we quickly patched things up.’d suggest talking with him and encouraging him to let you know when he’s feeling down or tempted to create a profile…but you need to be open and understanding if he’s going to be that honest with you (so no attacking if he admits he’s feeling that way). well…i don’t think it’s a *good* thing that he’s still logging in.” but i wouldn’t fault him much for looking at the fake profile. i think for now, you might want to hide your profile in the off chance that he’s keeping his profile up because he still sees yours is up. i asked him to back off and please take it slower. i want to be with you if you want a relationship with me, i don’t want to be with you if you’re only deleting it to have sex with me and he goes “of course not” and i said the whole match thing adds a lot of confusion to me.. i put his hand on my chest and said ‘omg! this infuriated me, and to my utter shame i called him out immediately. or he is looking for whatever he doesn’t have from me. he then said that he was going out at that time. this morning i decided to reciprocate the photo txt, and i sent him one (nothing i would be ashamed of though if someone else saw), and i sent a message along with it that said good morning 😉 it’s been a good 20 minutes since i’ve sent it, and in another 15 i know he’ll be at work and therefore wont text me. we have yet to have a real exclusivity talk and have not talked about our dating profiles..so along along he was active and looking for talking to, meeting up with other woman. i deleted mine because i was sick of the in box messages and found someone (him) that i really liked. notice shes still going on this same dating website we met on ( i had taken mine off since we met) but this worries me so much that i asked if she still went onto the site and she said she did. 5 days later – screen shots proved he had just been online and active. plenty of guys will lie and lie and lie when caught. it’s especially bothersome if his actions suggest exclusivity even if he hasn’t declared so in words…and yet it is still acceptable in my mind for him to keep his profile up, even in this case. i told him again that it makes me feel as though i can’t trust him if his profile is still visible because that means he is still single. when #3 saw my profile was down, she asked me why. i have already backed right off and only texted him yesterday after not hearing from him since my birthday which was 4 days before. he told me had a b’day but could manage to meet me for a bit and a drink at 12pm. as i’ve recommended to others, it may be best to talk with him about where he sees things going. well after we had sex and all he is still interested cause we went out again and i told him i had my period and he didn’t care. and when you’re dating and there’s intimacy involved… holding hands, kissing and sexual contact, then for most of us, it’s generally healthy at that point to start focussing on trust and loyalty and fidelity. my biggest worry is my daughter, she is very attached to him and tells him that he is her best friend and she loves him, and he tells her the same. would then suggest that if things are still going well between the two of you in a few weeks that you let him know that you would like to be girlfriend/boyfriend and see what his response is.! now i’m really starting to panic – so without hesitation and with some authority, i look him straight in the eyes and tell him in front of everyone – ‘that is not a for sure thing yet, as we still have not talked about the details’. he was very attentive towards me & was making plans to go to football games with me. so i took a week to decide if this was someone i really wanted to be in a relationship with because we both have kids, and i wanted to make sure that if i commited i am doing so with the intent that i will stick around for awhile knowing we will start to integrate with the children. – it’s very possible that he would change as we don’t really know what’s causing him hesitation from fully committing to just dating you and hiding his profile. what’s the point of me looking for other people when i was into her? i still haven’t come across a problem like mine. i confronted him about it and said that it bothers me that you still have your profile up on match."you provide a reality check and remind me that everyone has doubts and there is no one "normal" response to love and commitment. doesn’t mean you don’t want to see her, just means you’re looking to trade up. if you feel horrible as you’re doing it, then just stop. i know i’m reading into it but i’ve been in abusive and bad relationships and i just don’t want to be used and hurt again. on sunday (and i knew he was going to do this) he cancelled saying he had to go to meet his folks for lunch he didn’t even reschedule. but he did cancel on an invitation to join me at my friend’s farewell on sunday. i think you should (once again) talk to him about making girlfriend/boyfriend official? thus, on occasion i sense her guard is up a bit. may not like the answer you get, but i think being 100% clear on what you’re hoping for in the relationship (especially since you’ve dated for 5 weeks) will be better than trying to be sneaky. not in that place to talk about exclusivity but one thing that i find bothersome for me is when i see he is online immediately after i’ve left his place or he’s left mine. there will come a point that you will need to draw a line and make ultimatums but i’m not convinced one month into the relationship is that time (especially if you think you’ve found a great guy). i was shocked and sad about it, of course, especially since we just had spent a great weekend together but only met twice so far. is it something i’d want to make as a general statement for men (or women) in general? so as that sixth week approaches, i think it would be best if you let him know that you’re bothered by his profile still being up and see how he responds. he hides his friends list on facebook and has changed his relationship status from “single” to hidden since he asked me to be his gf. so, i do happen to have a differing opinion and do not believe that most times “she’s just not that into you”, i actually believe it is just the opposite- i think for many who are new to online dating- and this might be her, as well- she has insecurities about exposing her feelings for fear of anticipating too much too soon in this very complex world of dating. i mean, if he meets someone else online it’s not as if you’re exclusive any longer. it really didn’t come up again for quite a while. i told him earlier today that i had deleted my profile, “just to let him know”. that said, given how you two talk i would expect it to be down very soon (within the next week). jessica – i think it would probably be best to ask him what he’s looking for in a relationship since that conversation hasn’t come up. there used to be a time when only serious people dated online despite the old stigma back in those days. i think having the talk on this will clear that up and if he still won’t take his profile down, i think that will be the sign that something is really wrong.’m realizing that the bottom line is, i don’t trust him anymore. last night i didn’t hear from him at all. i feel as though you don’t care about the way i feel and that makes me wonder…. that i will want to continue in the same way knowing he is looking/browsing for someone else? about a month ago exchanged really great emails, texts, calls. i noticed that he was not his normal self around me.” we also did the “in a relationship” status on facebook. or how would he like it if the situation was reversed? even after three discussions and several screenshots as well as telling him how to delete his account and how to bury his cookie email tracks, he still could not resist. i am not asking for a commitment or exclusivity but when he knows how much it’s hurting me why is he not turning it off? i told him it was iffy and i had hidden my profile because i’m not sure about it all together. i asked if we were exclusive and he said yes. anyway, he tells me that he doesn’t have the desire to talk to or see anyone else. he has continually helped me out, he surprises me with gifts along the way. first off, he has significant commitment and some emotional issues.” today, i emailed him and asked him if he is dating people from the site and that we should both take our sites down and focus on each other. – was he the one who sent the text or did he receive that text? see, the grass is not always greener when you find a good thing, but you could miss it’s fertility because you didn’t water it. – have you tried talking with him about this more aggressively? you care for him and while some of his actions declare he feels the same way, other actions make things less clear. i suppose if she’s just dating you casually, it may be less stressful to think that you might be cheating on her. cos he seems to think of me when he’s down & out! said, i’d be careful to really be sure that he owns that profile..and during all this, we are both still active on the dating sites…. before all this i knew we have a whole lot in common and there was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension plus i really like him., based on his responses to your previous questions, i get the feeling if you were able to prove he was using the services his response is going to be a strong one (and to me it seems like the wrong person is getting angry! my sister looked on her computer from he account as she is on there, too. guess my queston is why does it seem like we are playing house with no real commitment? he may have secretly been hoping for a commitment from you after having this conversation and when that didn’t happen he’s now not sure the relationship is going where he had hoped it would. i have been seeing this guy for two months and we’ve gotten fairly close. to hear but this is how it should go if you expect to be trusted. my suggestion would be for you to let her know where your head is at. i’m sorry, but it does sound like it’s time to move on. he told me “let’s go inside and delete it right now, together” we tried but the site was having an error. started talking to a girl for around 2 weeks, we met on a dating website and have been talking daily. i was enrolled into a dating site, after a couple of weeks of dating this guy, i took my profile of the air…almost 3 months have passed by and even though i talked to him about this, he still wants his profiles open…so not into me! when i was stepping out for a smoke he told me ‘if things gets serious, i’d like you to quit’ & i told him i’d do it for him. opted to move on,i loved him,it was so painful. i have never seen a guy so keen to listen to me in my life. it’s a good idea to let him know that the active profile is the source of much of this feeling (leaving this out could leave many of us guys, who can be dense when it comes to relationships, confused or surprised). i keep creating these scenarios in my head and i know i shouldn’t. now whether you really talk with other guys is up to you…but honestly, i think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually do so. we actually had a very serious conversation about the future last weekend, and ours seems bright. and trust issues will happen if you keep your profile as does she. i’ve met his parents and extended family and he has met my parents. as i’ve said previously, if you can do this without anger or making him feel threatened, i think it will go better. during the process i did get the little ‘addiction’ niggle. surveyed 832 coffee meets bagel members to find out what singles think about valentine’s day, what they…. i have no shame in making sure after i had been lied to once to check again to be sure. i don’t know if i should give him more time or move on to find someone who is more committed to me. over the past few weeks we’ve been out a couple of times which has been nothing short of fantastic! that being said, i believe a month of spending time together is a good general time frame to expect some concrete definition to your relationship, especially when you’re going out of your way to interact with each other every day. your situation is a little different because it sounds as if he didn’t have a dating profile when you started dating but now he has one (? side-stepping this conversation is, in itself, a red flag because there’s something inside you that is most likely “afraid” to bring it up. i have only been seeing this guy for three weeks. i was quick to let you know how much i loved my wife but every time i told you this i also punched her in the face. get all the destruction away and as “scary” as it may look. i told him that i couldn’t continue on with him though if he still wanted to see other women. to be honest, i’m not convinced that all the guys doing this even understand why. i did let him know that i would have cell coverage in mexico, and if he’d like to say hello he could. coffee meets bagel (cmb): cmb is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. after the month of him being gone, he got a hotel room and i stayed with him for a few days, hanging out non stop except when i have to go to work. i just have no idea what to do anymore…he is acting like everything is good other than my crazy moodiness lately (i think some of it has to deal with him and the other is just a mix of things bothering me). now 5 weeks later i will be meeting his kids and going to a family gathering soon but he is still online. as the cool chick that i am i felt secure enough that he could search the universe and would never find someone like me. i know that’s easier said than done but if you do end up dating him again just be very cautious…sounds to me like he would have cheated on you if he would have had the chance. and he went on to say he thinks we may be meant to be together but struggles with being unsure. he had left it logged in and i noticed from the history he had checked some of the women out but he didn’t have a premium account. i told her i recently gotten an email and deleted it but i have not been on in a long time. if you want to take a stand and draw the line at 6 weeks, i’m okay with that. then a day later i saw him driving around, i called him not to initially bring anything up, but when he didn’t answer we got into it and he said that he does want stuff to work but i can’t be so paranoid. so, if this is the case, why would his profile still be up? we decide on a break but it doesn’t happen. i told him i’m a straight up woman if he wants to explore to just tell me and that i hoped he finds what hes looking for and someone who loved, respected and appreciated him as much as i did, this set him off right away…. i am not sure if i can handle knowing that he is with me and others. day 3 he texts me and apologizes for his coldness and tells me that i don’t deserve that. he’s said it takes him longer to commit to someone. he goes out of his way to text me just to say hi, good morning, or see how my day is going. i am really confused cos y’day he was online 3 times i haven’t even gone into my account. you can read a book together but if he turns around and starts putting a profile online, what good has it done? vague about your intent and checking the site while having giving the impression you are developing a relationship with one person is shady behavior. i’ve planned to take her to do painting of an ocean area with an artist and then a picnic. if i try to ride it out, what is a good amount of time to see if he takes it down? we were very intense the first month seeing each other all the time and every weekend.” i honestly thought i had found that person, especially when he finally agreed to delete his online dating profile. to repeat the same thing, just wanted to see if you could help me a little. the other day i did have to make a little remark where i said, you know…i know you arent in this for the long hall, (i only said this because when he told me he loved me, he also said…”this doesnt mean i necessarily feel i want to spent the rest of my life with you…wtf? we have been seeing each other, twice a week for 7 weeks now. after spending the last 5 months with him, i’m decided that i made the right choice. needless to say, he has trust & commitment issues and i am understanding and patient…. he said that he is very much excited in seeing and dating me, and already planned on where we would go. but i must say his profiles up still really bother me, especially since we have been intimate. we were casually talking about something and he slipped something about the site and i asked him: “wait, are u still on the site” he answered that yes he’s still on it but it’s “just there”.. and then back to the sex thing he thinks he was going to get some from me but i told him not till “the break is over and the sites are deleted” (this is all texting btw) and he goes “you’re demanding stuff because you said were not going to have sex till i delete match”…ummm duh… i said yes and i have a good point to, that don’t you think? on the other hand, i feel like i’m getting mixed signals re. she says he’s on it regularly and this evening while he’s texting me on the phone, she calls and says, “he’s online at match right now”. that’s how things went for my wife and i when we met online. i do think the exclusive conversation could be very tough before you meet, but if you find you keep worrying about it and you think you’re at a place where he’d be open to it, i’d bring that conversation up. i know that when you are dating you should do this but i just can’t and he said he was the same. i have no idea how he’ll respond and whether he wants to keep seeing other people, as he had stated his doubts about our relationship before when we broke up. you meet someone online and you start spending more and more time together, the last thing you’re thinking about is your online dating profile, let alone updating or deleting it. situation is very similar to what had been described in a few of the comments earlier. it’s so frustrating for me that the website charged him (earlier than they should) and after he had cancelled his sub. if we are “monogamous” should we even have these sites up? figure with all the things he has done it sounds like he is interested in me. we still caught up on sunday evening and it was lovely. and hes always cslling me, we spend every moment together that we can. i think your insight and perspective is incredibly accurate - you seem to understand the plight/perspective of the working, successful urban woman over 30. i once heard a comedian say, the reason people marry another is because subconsciouly they think ” she/he is the best i can do for where i am in my life or for my leage” when i heard it, it was a funny but it definitely has some truth to it.’ve heard your feedback: you asked for more control over your chats with the ability…. i told her i recently gotten an email and deleted it but i have not been on in a long time. he said that he hadn’t been on that one in months and didn’t even remember the login – even though it said he had been online literally right before i called him.’ve met someone online, but i’m unsure about if and when i should remove my online dating profile. i have a date today & i did mention to him on friday night that i had a date then. its been like 2months together and he is really great guy if i have to be honest and i do have my moments too in annoying him too. otherwise people are not doing those things that are so important in a relationsihp… loyalty and fidelity. i was like would u be happy hidin ur profile as i am. never apologize for checking up on a person who has lied to you and promises to do better.?Also since posting this, we’ve had more discussions, all of which have been helpful. last week we went out for meal, he came back to mine, we slept together again, he went home that nite, he txt me as usual to say he got home, we said it was a lovely nite and then good nite to one another. article, and i found it because i am in a similar situation and really need your. 10 million readersand the thousands of women i've helped find true love. he’s mentioned having a vested interest in me, has talked about future (unplanned) visits, we text daily and talk almost every night. i don’g want to pushtowards anything, because i feel as thoughhe will if he wants to…but am i wasting my heart on someone whois using me as plan b or using me as a passing fancy? how am i supposed to trust him when he makes empty promises? he was very interested in asking me about my life, my opinions, my family, my experiences and he genuinely seemed to care and to want to listen. my ‘dating’ experience had been extremely limited, despite being married and divorced twice. then today i searched again and it said active in 3 days. he said he could ask me the same thing and that i had blown up his phone all day until it died. i know at one point after we first met, he told me he wasn’t just sleeping around with anyone and everyone. i know it’s fair game and it’s just a first date, but i can’t help but think this way. sustained contact and interaction offline is the only way for a real relationship to move forward. his job is stressful right now, but in my mind, if you like someone a minute or two to send a quick hello is not a big deal. we had a look and he has changed his profile to looking for women for friends. we definitely argued a bit and i told him to go on a date, if he liked the girl, we were done (obviously). he’s military, so his schedule is pretty screwy, but since my work schedule is easily manipulated, he proposed that i get it to match it as closely to his as possible so we have the same days off. there is simply no viable, reasonable, acceptable response he can make – even if, somehow, he has not met any new women since “committing” to you,” argues katz. i asked him about going to the movie again and never heard anything back. i want to pull back from him and stop seeing him, but it’s so hard to do when you like someone. he replies within a min and we text for hours until i get sleepy and tired. may (2014) he got an out of the blue text from his ex (fwb girl), saying he should come to a party she is having in june. actually i have some of my toiletries in his bathroom and he’s fine with that. that being said, are there any creative ways where you could spend more time together even though you don’t have cars? if you’ve read a lot of my advice you’ll know that i do see dating one person at a time as problematic.. we are both full time parents and work full time. i checked the messages tonight and it said he was online now so i messaged him with hi how are you, he didn’t respond. they like having women contacting them…even if they are rejecting all of them as it makes them feel desirable. so, you ask, when is “too soon” to initiate the conversation. i have also noticed that on his computer he is getting on another site and looking at personals, mostly from other states. then i saw just two months ago he was texting w/ his buddies about have spring time itch again. i stopped answering and next time i saw him i asked him if he was still on the site and he answered and said: “yes im still on there and actually last week someone messaged me on there, and i’m pretty sure it was you.” conversation is similar to the “what are you looking for in a relationship? it feels so much like a relationship and that he is warminig to the idea, but we havent discussed it cos we cant due to his parents and their plans for him. i treat him so well, cook, clean, and care for his kids but yet i seem to have no standing with him. so to answer jason’s question, it could just be that she is login in to look at your photos, or to read your profile once again, because she is enjoying getting to know you so much. he also said that i should know that if he had a chance to get online, he would have texted me as he always does. we met online mid june and became sexua lly active early august. he replied jokingly asking if i stalk him haha and that he didn’t know why because he turned off his roaming of data to not have a cost explosion. we see each other about once a week due to work and we both have kids, he has his when mine is gone to his dads. i personaltely can only date one person at the time. after a couple of weeks i told him that i had deactivated my profile and he told me that he had cancelled his subscription. opened a convo, i spoke to him like i normally do and we got on so well but he did notttttt kno it was me! – i think it would be a good time to mention being official again. sometimes i feel that maybe we rushed into things a little too quick…. i think doing this can be beneficial because a) you might find a great guy who does want to commit or b) he might realize how much it sucks to have the person you’re dating to be open to dating other people. the funniest thing’s that i asked him directly if he was seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone & he denied both. any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. as maree touched on earlier, these guys wouldn’t try to continue to pick up other women and real life and shouldn’t do so online either. i feel like i’m just there and he is still looking for something better and it makes me feel bad. do we want to be exclusive, complete with “boyfriend / girlfriend” label?"evan answered my question on one of the calls and it was the best coaching ever. he however did not, at first it did not really bother me. he said that i was making a big deal out of nothing. convo with me, pretending to be another woman was not flirty, it was more obscenely friendly tbh and he was keen to open a convo, be friendly, (overly maybe) ask for msn or skype…. i know it sounds petty but he is being petty by saying stuff like that to you and even being on those sites. met an amazing guy about 2 months ago and we decided to only see each other. and taking down your profile – especially if you’re on the same site – can unwittingly add unwanted pressure on the other person and strain your developing romance. i have also made myself avaible for this same night. the keep saying they will hav a good future together and will make them proud if they get married one day. since we see each other daily (he gets mad if we don’t) i just don’t know how to deal with this anymore and its taking its toll on me. i think it would be better to try to stay away from him at this point…he’s lied enough that it will be hard to tell if or when he starts telling the truth! as i usually contact him 1st but he responds like right away, like he is sitting on his phone almost. in the beginning we talked about being interested in each other, yet if someone comes along whomakes us happier then we would understand as lon as we were honest with each other. it’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make for him – something i never would have done for anyone else. he possessed the 3 important requirements that fit my need: chemistry, compatibility, and emotionally and physically attraction. if you never ask her to be your man and just play house with her she can and will and has every right to talk to other men. when does the 12 year…"givemeabreak on what do i do with a boyfriend who lets his daughter exclude me? i think we can both agree that no two relationships are alike, and that being in a relationship doesn’t have to mean the same thing it means for most people, especially the kind of people who believe in marriage. are you ok with having sexual relations with one another while your profiles are active? our emails were immediately riveting and he even told me it seemed like we knew each other for ages. i did my usual hey there sexy, he said lol…i asked him how his work thing was going, no response. he did, when we spoke i said i was upset, i just seen his profile and how it changed and we were literlally with each other hours ago. we all know that what a man does speaks louder than what he will ever say. he seemed to show a lot of remorse, and made the comment that ‘he was a dirt bag’.! week four, another i love you, and a few more fun filled evenings. i was happy and i told him that and that i liked him a lot. however, when we commit to getting into a relationship we should be willing to give some things up. obviously the profile is not “just there” and obviously its not there for his friend’s use because he is putting up pics of himself and updating his own info. a month is enough time to decide if you want to pursue a relationship further. we have been calling/texting each other about everyday since we met online.’m so grateful to have come across your article here and am impressed by the fact that you’ve continued to respond to commenters for over 4 years now, wow! he was bored, and it made him feel good about himself. we continued to date and then on valentine’s day we broke up officially. maybe once you know where he stands, it will make it easier for you to make a decision? we are planning a tropical vacation in a few months, we’ve taken several weekend trips together, we’ve brought up the subject of moving in together if he doesn’t get sent away, and i’m seriously falling for him. think that many guys who use internet dating think of it as a “smorgesbord” and feel that it is their right to taste everything on offer! and no a guy views dating so differently to us that it can only be expected that removing his profile is repeatedly a delayed occurrence. though he already told me he wasn’t interested in dating other people, and we had both disabled our profiles a week or two before. have been on 5 dates with a guy who i met online, i really like him & feel like we have a good connection, but he has not yet mentioned exclusivity & deleting our profiles. wanted to write you before i did anything to freak him out the way females usually do. it is concerning that he would trying to chat with other women where you met though.” taking down a profile is no more profound in meaning than spending a few hours planning a nice date. i expressed the same feelings and we planned to move in together two weeks from now. initially he asked me out first few times and then ive been doing it since. i am a little upset so a few days i set up a fake profile with photos of another friend he has never met and messaged him. live in hope that not everyone is the same and that there are genuine men out there. that’s like saying, “the 0 i spent on my subscription is more important than what i have with you”. actually, he kind of chased me online for a week before i gave in and talked to him. be fair and above all else, have a conscience and empathy for the other person. i’ve lived in a military town my whole life, and i avoided dating military men for that entire reason. we met on a dating site and i knew when we started dating his profile was hidden ( i wanted to show my friends who he was but couldnt find it! i have a question, i have been dating a guy that i was introduced to by my sister. i think there might be a third option which would be to do a little of both. just met someone this past weekend and we “hooked up” for a few days and it was nice…and i find it weird that he still emails me on the site seeing that we have had such a hot weekend… i have stated that i find it weird to communicate since he and i have each others phone number and i also stated that i date one person at a time and that if he chooses to continue looking that is on him…. don’t try to force these important conversations even though every bone in your body may want you to talk to him about it as soon as possible. explain how much you enjoyed spending time with her but given how infrequently you are seeing each other and given the fact that she’s still looking online, you feel like you should keep your options open. it honestly sounds like your time might be better spent looking for someone who would fight to spend time with you as opposed to fighting to spend time with others. i never gave the guy a chance to make any changes. i let him pursue me and after two and a half months of being with and seeing eachother every single day and night we decided to be together in a relationship.
- The dos and don ts of internet dating