Why am i so not interested in dating anymore

Why am i so not interested in dating

was easy to discuss my interest in her, as it was guys-only party; yet, there was a catch: other guys knew her, too, and they also expressed interest in her. i want companionship more than sex(nothing a man can do that i can’t do myself) or marriage definitely. if you are not ready for sacrifice, do not go for love. men go thru depression, insomnia, low sex drive etc when they get to middle age and their bodies also stop producing certain hormones. i am not a virgin, i have had sex before, and while it was very meaningful with the man i loved and i enjoyed it somewhat, i have never felt like it was this amazing thing that some people make it out to be. men don’t give a s#@t if your strong or not, unless we need you to buck some bales, and the fact that your independent translates to “i don’t need you, so be aware that your very expendable” which is always a turn on for any man.” he reminds me a lot of you–with all of your complaining.’re all aware at this age about health and the importance of staying active… who wants to zone out on tv when there’s active things to do together that enhance the relationship? i have not had a single date nor wanted one since separation. physically, i can still go downhill skiing and pitch baseballs for exercise. i’m hopeful you find someone who is willing to meet you halfway. difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things. sad, but that’s why i stuck around for the last 3 years. still can’t take responsibility for how she hoisted herself on her own petard. i thank karma every day for sending this quietly confident and wonderful man my way. have found it quite true that most women in their 50’s are not interested in your average male of the same age or a little older. to elite daily's official newsletter, the edge, for more stories you don't want to miss. i liked being in love…it made the days of my life better. harry sold his share of the firm about 10 years before he died and devoted himself to civic and community philanthropy. in aging, dating, expectations, love, marriage, men, midlife, relationships, sex, singles, stereotypes, women. my experience , men can tick along normally until they meet me and say those immortal words ” i feel i can talk to you” …. i remember someone said, desirable is not attainable; attainable is not desirable., i have actually seen educational ads on tv that say “women find intelligent men attractive”. notice there’s only one “study” to affirm preconceived notions & there’s a reason the authors of the study are proudly cited in prose. before you start trash-talking men in generalazations, let’s turn the mirror around and take a look at yourself. and boy oh boy is he going thru the change. i’very wanted to date again but dating at 52 years old is abysmal 🙁. these are the women who rejected the nice guys like you and then ask, “where are the nice guys”? yes, delivering the "i’m not interested" message to any feeling person will be a bit uncomfortable. bought my own condo and have been solo/single for 18 years. like i said, they worked hard to get that cash from their exes and it’s for them. and then, find an attractive man near same age (mid 50’s) without having to settle. now that i am older, wiser, and my 22-yr-old son has left the nest, i realize my independence has been to my detriment. let’s face it; your best days are behind you. you must have taken many photos and of all types to try to show who you are and in the best vantage point. i’m not sure i’d want to get legally married for financial reasons but would definitely have to have a commitment ceremony. with all i’m working on for me, and all the time and effort that takes, there’s really not much left in the tank for someone else. at some point you get over the concept of the “white poofy dress and ring”. but look, if you are ok with this, there is no reason to worry about whether you are normal, or not. if, god forbid, those two attitudes are coming across on george’s dates, though he may not realize it, he will not have 2nd dates. found this site when i googled “why bother…” in regard to seeking a life partner. i did not experience an overbearing husband nor abusive relationships. need to understand that their worth as people is not tied up to relationships to others, especially men. women don’t need to contort themselves physically in order to be f***able to men. they continue to insist on talking about it, repeat: "i've said what i have to say, now please drop it" and talk about something else. i’m trying to determine the difference between being discerning or avoiding commitment. i do miss the intimacy of talking to a partner and sharing the details of my day, discussing topics in the news, politics and what have you. now we’ve been together for over a year with no breakups (quite a record for us), but some of the magic is gone. i like to say that there is seldom a better time than now to tell someone what is true for you, especially if that truth has consequences for the other person. register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. the reality is there comes a time when you age out of the whole stupid game, that to continue is an exercise in futility. i told them i had no particular standards and just desired someone who would make me happy and who i would make happy in return. there're any number of reasons for this - they may be. note if you are the person on the receiving end of this message, i want to remind you that finding the right person always comes with some degree of trial and error. i love my independent life and i love the times we share together at least twice a week for a date and then a sleepover taking turns at each other’s house. it’s that i want to, and need to, do for myself with things like getting my retirement plans on track, seeing a little bit of the world while i’m still young and healthy, etc. yet i found there are more players than real sincere ones. i am a human being that after years of games, travel, attitude, laughter, freedom loss, great sex, what have you, just decided i am at my happiest just hanging out with friends. the wife wakes up, does not have the material things she thinks she deserves, and dumps the husband; looking for the young handsome plastic surgeon. am almost 25 and a good portion of my friends are engaged, married, dating someone, in a relationship, or just going on dates or "seeing somebody. normal that after one year dating my boyfriend has only photos of his ex and none of me on his facebook? can appreciate that others here want something different, and i accept that. i’m in fantastic shape, still have a strong sex drive and therefore ambition and drive—and will continue to be so until the day that i have to walk off into a bear cave somewhere in the woods. true, some are hucksters, seeking green cards or citizenship, but a good many are not. i regard myself as content with a life full of work, adult children and a new grand daughter. i sometimes wonder if my lack of interest in dating is just a wall i've put up to prevent that from ever happening to me again. many middle aged men don’t need to date or be in relationships to be happy. i realize no woman is likely to pursue me and be able to pass my tests. it requires lowering the walls, being realistic that love doesn’t occur on the first date or the second and can’t be rushed or forced. of course, have to be selective and prudential in your choices. i’ve never been so selfish, and i really like just being me again. i am not rich by any means: i drive a 13 year-old car and live in a modest house, so there is none of them mistaking me for rich, but i do find that i love them. not all believe you are ip to an affair, unless you give reason to be suspicious;). who’s to say the roles won’t be reversed, and he’ll be the nurse, and have the money when your part of the divorce runs out. this is subtext for ” no matter how normal i appear on the surface, you are about to become the catalyst and custodian of some inner demon or dark secret that i’ve managed to contain for years” . is what it’s really like to be an alcoholic in your 20s. meanwhile, well-meaning friends and family feel sorry for me and keep telling me i’ll meet someone ‘someday. we usually share our evening meal together and watch a little tv together during the week, but then we kiss goodnight and go to our separate houses for the night. that assumes that you want to not just have a relationship, but also live with that person. she’s a great gal and i love her to death but our relationship goes back 37 years to high school and is likely to stay platonic. when i contacted them and showed interest, all three of them said there was either “no chemistry” or “no connection”. looking for a right / good man here who is serious, love kids and family is so difficult, because i am from vietnam, people here very traditional and strict …. typically mid life women who dump the husband have a good career and have already been taking care of the family in both domestic and financial ways – they are tired of raising their husband too who acts like an overgrown kid, so yes – 2/3 of divorced are initiated by women. if i could meet a woman who was nice to me, i’d consider marrying her. i wouldn’t mind dating her but i don’t think she feels the same way towards me and just wants to stay buds. i certainly hope you can understand because i enjoyed meeting you and wish you the best." your life is your life; it's not a democracy or up for public debate. it truly is unfortunate for the children to be in this position, but i have not lost the perspective of family and commitment, like so many seem to do when mid-life comes knocking. pretty ridiculous- never heard of a woman trying to upgrade in midlife to a husband who makes more money?(d) like living within my means in a job that offers work/life balance. i’d prefer longer lasting relationships, but honestly i’m fine with more sexual relationships as long as i’m treated well. i am not saying i don’t want to be responsible for myself and my son, i am just saying that i should not have to be solely responsible for a grown man as he shouldn’t have to be solely responsible for me either! ironically, single moms have hit on me as a prospect to be with until they have found out that i also have children. to give up one’s independence and take a chance only to be duped by someone playing the field… (a white-haired shy guy! this certainly keeps many of us good men single since trying to meet a good woman that can accept us for who we really are really makes it very tough for us men right now since many of us are not single by choice. that news is as old as iran contra and we’ve had our fill of “disinformation”. but he invited himself around again tonight, and i have been anxious about it all day even though i told him i didn’t want to go down that road. sure, we make love, and spend the majority of our time together. our needs and energy levels may have changed, but we are not dead…yet. how can i take care of her (in the event that she may need me). george, it is not likely you, it is the online dating. found this site after searching for “middle age mutually beneficial relationship”. i think this is why men my age look southward in the dating age. the thought of going without an intimate relationship for the rest of my life makes me feel sad. stop playing it and wasting your energy, well being and time. i look after myself, no man has ever looked after me financially since i was a kid (my dad! fairness, you got a pretty solid kick in the balls from the universe. simply want a friend to do things with, have a meal with and not have to be a caretaker or to meet what many of my friends call the “established menu”- meaning that quite often with men, they had an ideal when they were 30, it did not work and now they are attempting to have that again… what is so stupid about this is that it could be the freest time they could have and they do not want to budge from their limited scope.- have gone out with men and had some pretty serious relationships. i will move forward, whatever the men do, that is my nature. it was mentioned here that your online profile may not read well. i:(a) abhor materialism and consumerism – pretty expensive things don’t fulfill me.’ why doesn’t anyone believe me when i say i’m really not looking, no one needs to feel sorry for me, i’m not lacking in any area. my point is that i’ve had a few loooooong relationships and been married — basically always had a committed relationship when i wanted one — and i realize i’ve been lucky that way. my single lifestyle is a choice, and if you cannot respect my right to make that choice please don’t talk to me. and i for one am not that woman and will be leary of that kind of boy for the rest of my life! twenty-three states have legalized lifetime alimony, ruining a man’s financial life to where he starts out with a big monkey on his back to try to start over. even when i do meet someone all they want is to be platonic. and, there (thankfully) are enough men close to my age who actually do want to date women their age or even a bit older. and in the 2010s, people ask why certain folks act a certain way, as if it’s a crime to be guarded. i left him and since then i have been on and off some dating sites. viagra is often misprescribed for men who are suffering from low-t. i was in the dating field, i could never crack the enigmatic code of what it took to score the second date. i just didn’t see me reaching out to anyone these past two years while i needed to fix myself and expect someone else to “fix” my life.” they tend to marry quicker than older women, but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby; it’s because women are more likely to be looking for a short-term relationship or a companion, not a husband. after reading many comments, it reminded me of why i had decided to end the last relationship…at this age unlike before marrying we wonder what our spouses would be as a parent…this no longer matters at this stage of life. i think it is worth it for me for the simple reason that i prefer a sandwich with two slices of bread : ). none of them are going to be willing to be the first “lab rat” in his experiment to find connection. speaking as a 50+, many-years-divorced woman, i am trying to live the life i could not when i was married. that said, not every woman is materialistic, into social media (so many of my gal friends aren’t), etc. sometimes i think my mind as well may be just so fixed on running mentally that i have no time to care about sex? my ex has certainly given me a shock into what dating would give me in life.” many of us don’t want to re-create the dynamic we had: live together, cook and clean for another, etc. they think it’s their god-given right to have a woman half his age, or he “offshores” his love life by getting a mail order bride i. religion is an obvious example of this - if you're a hard-core atheist who can't understand why anyone would believe in an invisible sky-daddy, you're not going to get along well with a person of faith. you're right it might also be related to the bad breakup you've had, you might be trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again. because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a “nurse with a purse. please don’t give up hope and please let me know how you’re doing. if they’re so good on their own, why don’t they stick to the pua articles that celebrate their bachelorhood and leave the ones about us inferior, worthless females alone? 55, still get winks, staying active, work hard and want to go home to my sanctuary of quiet and calm at the end of the day. and in some instances (again often for economic reasons) the two spouses remain in the house. remember ladies you are the most important person in your life ! then before the kids come–it is off to paris for the weekend–flying first-class and staying at the george v hotel. view this video please enable javascript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports html5 video. he is kind, intelligent, with an excellent career, caring, generous and old-fashioned in the most wonderful way.

Why am i so not interested in dating anymore

, i’ve tried learning from my mistakes, and i’m keeping an eye out for red flags.) the ex-wife on the other hand, has not met the plastic surgeon, she has tried internet dating, and is bitterly disappointed… the ex does not look that bad. are the two of you able to discuss your issues, or does every hint of a disagreement turn into a screaming match as you drag up every old complaint as ammunition to use on the other? while i’m sure the type of confident and relaxed women you discussed exist, they really are a rarity. good luck, and please let me know how things go, ok? but after about 2 1/2 years, started to feel like a pet; stay in your pen until i want to do something, then be there on time. it’s sometimes better to be alone than with bad company. when we looked at the cause of the divorce, her belief what that it was pretty much all my fault for being a bad husband (and person), yet friends and coworkers told me they thought i was trying very hard and making all of the requisite sacrifices. but it’s almost certain to create more discomfort or even pain if you wait. there aren’t too many options beyond that except an arranged marriage, which happens in certain culture here and elsewhere, or a matchmaking service. i get the whistles and get asked out by strangers, but i haven’t went yet, because they haven’t taken any time to get to know me. successful sex coaches offer solutions for issues in people's sex lives.(c) don’t like travel or endless home renovations (top two female past-times). i went to university for the first time at 48 and gained an honours degree and i am now in the final stages of a phd in biomedical science ( i was a nurse before illness). everyone a favor and stay out of the dating pool. i feel like there is something wrong with me because i don't know any other girls that feel this way. i would love to meet someone and not hesitate on being the first to send the “hello” message but in most cases men do not respond and just ignore me completely. you believe it’s a level dating playing field for older men and older women? that, my friend, is cause in most men by age-related andropause. you must have done research on all of this in eight years of the futility of online dating. i met some ladies through online dating, and went along as my ‘nice-guy’ actual self, and i got the ‘no chemistry’ response. after so many of this-that-the-others, you’re bs-detector gets really sharp and at the first sign of it i say “well, it was lovely meeting you, but…”. of course they would never have strayed so far from home except the other costco has a new golf bag that “all the boys at the club” are talking about. there are way more single women than men, if that’s what you are asking. it’s not that i would demand something of someone else. when she was 30 not 39 she would not have looked twice at me, that is a simple fact. giving awesome vintage haircuts will inspire you to follow your dreams. it’s just another person who has needs for me to fulfill and personally, i just do not find it worth it. as long as you are happy, and not hurting yourself or anyone else, yeah it's normal. who win the so-called “genetic lottery” are said to have their pick of the dating field. the only person you can really count on is yourself – i’m so glad to be on the “worst liberal feminism list”. i’m a guy in my early 40s, divorced for 3 years. one day last fall i told him that it felt more like a friendship. enough with the prom queen, head cheerleader, had to fight them off with a stick stories! many have just had privations throughout their lives and are happy for company, as more than one has said to me, somebody–anybody– who will “love” them. to them, she was an elusive catch who would require a unique strategy in order to capture her heart. latter can be problematic; this sort of attitude tends to close you off to.”,And you were just too independent to settle for anything less!“it amazes me how when a woman first starts dating a man, the men have no problem renting a house boat for a few weeks off the amalfi coast, or riding vespas through the south of france while staying at vineyards. open your hearts and your eyes, time is important but finding a compatible companion is worth the time that it takes. kids (if you were even selfless or woman enough to have any! it feels really good and people will gravitate to you. to embrace my partner and his endeavors and to hope after doing so that he would do the same. have read a lot about the discord between men and women in the comments above. i don’t lack love and the sexual side of life doesnt interst me any more as i’m exhausted. if you cannot find someone also understands what love is, do not get involved with him/her. he said he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and four days later he was on another date. i am surprised that there are any people in relationships at all anymore with the majority of the bitter attitudes and hurtful comments.(and ladies before you start hating me for ‘learning’ how to create chemistry – remember that it’s you that wants this crap, not the guys…). now that you’re one of the older women, you want to get self-righteous about the idea of one of the men your own age dating somebody younger? at this stage in life and the way gender relations have evolved during my lifetime marriage isn’t worth it for men anymore. if i’m interested in you, then i’m interested in all of you, not just the juicy fun parts. you believe it’s a level dating playing field for older men and older women? i have spent time with women from their 40s through mid 50s. they are in college out of state now, and are home during breaks and holidays. a man’s testosterone level takes a huge nose dive at around 50. for years, decades, i carried the “i will meet the right guy one day and it will happen”. if i hear the phrase “you’d be a great catch for someone” one more time i’m gonna be sick. am 37, a single mom with very cute and lovely daughters one nearly 5 years old and one more than 2 yrs old. so you men out there who think women just want to get married……. have decided that the best course of action for me is to simply focus on my children and to raise them as best as i can without a “mother” role model., as for the guy that made that comment above you which he is certainly right by the way since this does really happen to us men a lot. i’m not floundering-successful in every area of my life. so it’s not only men who are set in their ways. enjoy the 20 year old drama-matches your emotional intwlligence(even when they are out of shape+way less everything) feeds your pathetic ego. i have had a few long term relationships, one that we cohabitated together for 8 yrs. a trust needs to be established, a friendship needs to happen, and independence for each person needs to be established and a mutual bond of interests, love, and kindness would have to come into effect first, before i could throw myself out there again and even think of marriage. right now i’m trying to figure out just what that relationship looks like. if you are an intelligent, attractive, white collar professional man, you would be better off swinging a hammer all day, joining a bowling league, and having a vocabulary like a sewer and then you would find a mate. so i guess i am not against getting married again. i hate to tell you this, but more men look like s*** in middle to old age than do women. in fact, in a lot of ways it comes off as needy - as though you're worried that if you. but what i’m reading between the lines is, unfortunately, *desperation* and *bitterness* – two things that are red flags for women. a man suffering from low-t experiences the same hormone-level triggered hot flashes that a woman experiences during menopause. harry always gave me a new car every other year for my birthday, diamonds on valentine’s, and after the kids moved away–we traded going to aspen for christmas–to visiting our children. we have a great emotional connection, spend hours talking, and yes, have sex. the “players” know what to say to manufacture the “chemistry” and the “connection”. ultimately, by closing one door, you bring yourself one step closer to the person and the relationship that is completely right for you. i think many people today no matter what age they are, still are looking for the same thing, someone to make their life more enjoyable when they come home after work. probably because i’m not 5′ 10’+ and christ women over 35 are selective. he carries 3 disposable cell phones one for each woman he is dating.), we say that, yes, you can create freedom in your marriage. after all this work on their part they are very guarded that some loathsome male sould will come along and want some of it. how do i find women like her in similar situations (married but available)? i refuse to play with anyone and will not have sex with anyone who has no sincere interest in getting to know me.“but they were not willing to compromise on losing their sense of freedom, to the point that they were “willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence. my conversations with women usually end up with a lot of “respect” or “admiration” for a man who is willing to take on such responsibilities, but they quickly lose any romantic interest. i have no doubt you will have wonderful romantic adventures ahead. i bought my own home after i got divprced, and it was not from alimony, i got nothing when i got divorced. the reasons vary, but a lot of it has to do with money first. had a lot of chances to meet younger guys because they thought i was in my late 30’s, they all surprised when i told them my age. as he decided to stop working like he had and started scheming on ways to put it all on just me. while the truth definitely needs to be told, the more you can embed this truth in a dignified context, the easier it will be understood and received. i see the toll it has taken on you: “going to die alone”, “have a little cry now”. eight years of looking, of inviting, of holding out my hand waiting for someone to take it… i think i have to go have a little cry now…. i give and give and give, and get nothing in return.'t wait on her hand and foot, she's going to leave you.'d strongly suggest you look into those issues before you date anyone else seriously. i enjoy giving back rubs, kissing, cuddling, laughing at life, sex, etc.. now get off the computer, get back to the basement before your mother realizes you’re gone and has a chance to change the locks on your house lol. yes, i know how to compromise with my two cats (i clean the box; they don’t poop on the carpet), but men are much more complicated than cats. has anyone out there ever experienced just a total lack of interest in anything having to do with dating, getting into a relationship, or even having sex for that matter? just wanted to get to know her to see if we were a match, but my peers saw her as a competition that ultimately turned me off. nerdlove, the only dating advice column that's secretly responsible for ending the time war. two weeks of that, ha ha… and i never looked back at men again! you’re unlikely to reproduce, both of your bodies look like discarded paper bags, and no one has any patience to be around someone 24/7. the latter is great, probably because we deeply care for each other. never strayed or looked elsewhere (i had the greatest thing at home! no one can love someone who has excuses for everything. do you have similar views on how to raise children? believes — and i agree — that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are only looking for much younger women. the “nurse with a purse” thing is a bad excuse for elitism. it just doesn’t feel right to me and i don’t trust that easily anymore. got close, was engaged at 30 but it was a rebound and i had to cut him loose, it was not the right thing to do and i have no regrets about doing the right thing. he has an 18 yo son and a 20 yo son, so he’s not quite an empty-nester (he’s had a few custody issues with his ex over the past 3 years). yet i feel no strong desire to intemately connect romantically. incredibly quickly tends to be a red flag for most people. i have zero interest in dating and have not done so in the ten years since my marriage ended. a person who values him/herself will never choose to play game even he/she was played or screwed by someone. did svetlana in ukraine take all your money on that romance tour? woke up early every morning and did all the usual "daddy things" cooked, cleaned, worked and helped where i could. what i’ve noticed, and you’ve proved, is that men don’t want to accept growing old. if you could help me out and give me some advice i'd be immensely appreciative. it's been ten years, the whole "give it time, you'll change your mind" argument doesn't hold water. it is easier to go about life without having to get to know someone all over again. don’t experience vaginal atrophy, permanent loss of libido, mood swings and stress incontinence the way women do at menopause. i’ve been on line dating but found it to be a tough go. i know, your question is; what are the options to meet women to form relationships if not online dating? at 47, i’ve never been legally married(was with my ex for 7 yrs and we considered ourselves married) and am christian so it definitely closes my dating field somewhat. it has taken me ages to get over him, and it has been almost 4 years since i have seen him.? well, i don’t mind compromising but not to the level i did in my previous marriage. i agree with what mark said that “it is better to be single than with a bad/wrong partner” , then it just waste of time. all three were permanent staff who had careers better than mine, but were single, two had ph. she (the lady in her 40s) is only a few years away. that being said: there's a difference between being content to be single and being single because you're bitter, resentful and mistrustful of everyone around you. a vast majority of people (men and women) cannot even break even in this society so they cannot hoard what they do not have. many, mobile apps designed for hookups have become their hunting grounds. it is not because a guy wants something from you that you have to give it to him. we need the world to accept that we are single. gotta love those ignorant guys who still think it’s the 1900s. buti never dreamed i’d still be unmarried at nearly 56!“when my harry passed away three years ago, he was still the same vibrant and wonderful man that i met many years ago in law school. – learn the tricks of a player – that’s what ladies think they want…. it’s dicey to paint all of us in one swath. also, health- long term health issues are from long term bad eating and living.

I am not interested in dating anyone

have only ever had two relationships, and one i do not count because it lasted only a few months and i was a teenager. he loves baking, cooking, writing, craft beer, and exploring california. it is very hard to meet available men, married men are a dime a dozen who are eager to cheat. i’m happy they identify themselves as such, however, so they can be filtered out right away. do you hate the idea of being in a relationship? summed it all up beautifully it hurts beyond belief when you get your heart broken self esteem kicked and all you did was be decent and caring keeping optimistic is a great way to be. there are many ways to build a fulfilling life that does not involve a romantic partner. i would like to enjoy life, with someone else in the moment, and not worry about what tomorrow might bring. i don't feel obligated to date in order to be part of society’s “mainstream. neediness is the anti-sex equation; it's unattractive and incredibly off-putting under the best of circumstances. that said, i wish you all well in your pursuit. and i have to add, being divorced is not a badge of honor. i turn this down more than once because i don’t believe in sex without love and commitment. understand that this stings women reading this, but as you can imagine the internet favors women’s advice and therefore men are pigeonholed exactly the same way, so get over it. plus the biology of attraction is based on reproduction/fertility – female beauty is (as is male) tied up in youth – the reproductive years. then we move in together and enjoy the perks (hopefully. me this article rings as hollow and contrived as all those profiles on match. a guy who has seen such men in action and heard them tell me of their one-night stand stories, i can't help but agree that men did, in fact, ruin dating with their hook-up philosophies. shoot, i’m even up for having another baby at 49., i do see how you may have run into entitlement. pull your head out, smell what the man is cooking, and look out the window. most middle aged women i encounter are entitled and self-absorbed. i have been going through the dating site torture for about one year since my divorce. it sucks at times to feel lonely and wish you had a man at your side, but life is too short to be anything but happy with yourself and your life. people just aren't interested in dating or romance - period. she was a senior lecturer and is now a single associate professor. remember the large number of women your age who, when they were the younger women, were out dating the woodstock generation men while blowing off the men their own age? until i read it i hadn’t realized i felt exactly the same way. women don’t get it, so they have to settle for men less than their ideal partner. the right one will come when you are not looking. when you least expect it, you may meet the love of your life and be forever happy. the surgery if it gets you there, because without it it’ll be all uphill. i’m just happy with men as friends who i have known for years,A relationship for me now would be like riding a bike with stabilisers on after freewheeling on two wheels. money always seems to drive a wedge in a relationship when one decides to make the other responsible for everything. whether i’m just in a long term relationship or a marriage, i want the magic and a loving relationship. now that i want someone to take care of who will take care of me as well, i have to face the fact it will probably never happen. years after catching my ex-wife cheating on me -with a woman-, after a 25 year marriage, i can say that at age 56 i feel pretty “sideways”. there are probably many 45 to 60-yr-old men out there who would appreciate all of those things. we are not biologically wired to live longer than that. in their 50’s have no practical use for a man, unless they are desperate/destitute. did that with mom, grandma, a little with dad and was mommy to my alcoholic ex. you can see this over and over again in the letters i get for this column: people who worry that others are going to assume that someone who's been single for so long is irreparably damaged. i am 52 and my wife and i had problems a while back. use your knowledge of the person and your interactions to guide what you say. i was having a glass of wine and asked him in and he had a glass of wine with me. it appears that the perspectives of freedom have been defined as being alone, rather than being free to love and to be loved. if 3x per week is "average" for most married couples after a few years, how do you compare in a comparable scenario? the time women are in their 50s, the kids are gone, the house is made in their image, and they have established all the rules. just cats they want to be holed up with but grown children and care of their parents . because you can be in a committed loving partnership and live apart (i do). i was married in my 20s and in another long-term relationship that was on its way to becoming a marriage in my 30s. still dated while fielding the occasional questions from my peers and elders about why i had to yet to find love. what makes for a happy relationship, married or not, is matched expectations. most i’ve seen either want to relive their “highly desirable in demand” college days, want a caregiver themselves, or have soooo many issues, i feel i need a psychology degree to talk to them.“and i have always believed that it’s good to identify those men and remove them from the 50-something dating pool asap; i’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! however, what i am finding are contented homebodies, who are not always willing to invest emotionally in a relationship. not that i have any regrets, it’s just that i don’t want to do such again. i already have 2 male best friends(my ex “illegal” husband and my ex boyfriend/roommate) so don’t need another of those but you can never have too many friends. don’t have a problem with your criticisms of my gender, falcon. saying this “the only time a woman wants a man is when she needs a man” reflects a somewhat sour attitude. most importantly, you need to ask yourself if you're just repeating a pattern. women, please give intelligent, self respecting men a chance and take down the walls. person could have a great date only to follow up too soon, or maybe, too late, or perhaps, an innocent slip of the tongue ruins his or her chance for a second date. so if your 50 something man looking for woman , have a little patience . don't know what it is that seems to drive girls out of my life. i have a relative who drove me nuts with that when she was in her mid-50s. these days its dangerous to even look at a woman. we are people too, and i’ll be damned if i let another woman use me again.’ve been divorced for 16 years, i am in my 50’s now, and for the first time since i divorced i truly feel i want to be married again. over ,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. i just want a friend to spend time with a couple of times a week, and spend the rest of the time just being free. the first couple of years were bittersweet: absolutely wonderful at times…so passionate and loving, followed by breakups over insecurities. i like family life, but have always gotten the short end of the stick. now i’m attempting to make the dream a reality and having someone along for the ride is not necessary. there are just some things i don’t want or need to deal with…. he may not have ovaries that stop working but he and men of his age (56) go thru physical changes too, and that change is no more testosterone. just because he is a man and you are a woman does not mean that you have to like him. he was nice and gentle, and we kissed, although i asked him to stop a couple of times and i ended up asking him to go home, which he did. can tell you honestly, three single educated women in the 37 to 39 age bracket who could see i was unhappy suddenly, made it very clear if i was available they had desperate ovaries! their idea of an emotionally healthy man is some twit who will constantly cater to whatever they are complaining about at the moment.’ve been married before to another soldier (female) and she got out and earned a lifetime alimony as soon as it was made law. i don’t even know if i believe that line or not any more.“but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby” – is that even true though? share your thoughts and theories in the comments section, and we'll see you in two weeks with more of your questions! virtually impossible for me to date anyone as you can imagine. i’m a tad younger than you but have found similar issues with men around my age. believe in destiny, the right person will come at the right time. it was great because we got along extremely well, he was fun and easy going and he was a widower that loved his wife. i consider myself to be average or above in looks, my physique is holding alright for a man of my age, etc. so when one person decides he/she isn’t interested in pursuing the relationship further, it can be tempting to want to avoid confrontation or hurt feelings. i focused on myself instead and have chosen to live life in my terms. yet, for multiple reasons, most of which are unknown, relationships never developed. stumbled upon this website while googling because i wondered if i was weird. it will be hard finding someone to accept having only a parallel life with mine, meeting me in the middle while we have our own homes, money, and time to ourselves. he was my "first" for sex and so most of my sexual experience was initiated with him. but i am looking for someone who matches with my unique interests, goals and personality in a different way. to be good to each other, time is flying by and is so precious at this point. made a decison 3 years ago that i was through with domestic relationships. no one bats an eye on folks shacking up anymore so social pressures are all but non-existent. the way that i look at it which unfortunately most of the women of today aren’t that nice at all since many of them have really changed for the worst of all. dating is how people get to meet each other and decide if they like each other enough to take it to another level — a committed relationship. i have all my hair, teeth, intellect, health (down to the plumbing working quite well), and i have tried the go-around with the 50’s female crowd, and it’s just tiring. of us are choosing wisely, as we do have, at least some interest in remarrying, but this time we are hoping to find a keeper (and be one), and it may take a while, in these parts! just wanted to get out of her new-found torture (can you say “sybil”? if something more friendship comes from it ,that would be great . women don’t realize this statement alone will make 90% of the men disappear entirely, the other 10% having some sort of dominance fetish. i'm in my mid-thirties, and have been divorced for almost a decade now. a newly single woman after an eight-plus year relationship, i am curious about what to expect this time, now that i’m 50-something instead of 40-something.'re a few things you say that stick out to me. we’re talking almost a 2 to 1 single female to single male ratio, 3 to 1 for 70 year olds, and 4 to 1 for people in their 80s etc. quite frankly, i could live without it the rest of my life and not really care. many have benefited from divorce and/or death (benefits) from the departure, in one way or another, of their first or even second husbands. had my business, a daughter who was grown, but part of my life, and don’t really need someone to unload my “day” on. if it's causing you some inner problems, comparing yourself to others is even more counterproductive. it doesn’t matter what my age was, or their age was. we keep in touch during the week by texting once or twice to make plans for the upcoming weekend (he is an introvert and does not do telephone conversations very well). as a fifty something single man the women seem interested in tying the knot – not me. there is a mid-life power shift at work to balance this out. i compete in long distance running and train 8 to 10 miles per day plus more on the weekends, in addition to crossfit, lifting weights, etc. yes, i have kid and sometime i am tired but my sex drive is still very high. i met my last partner (8 years) and my current partner (1 year) online. if the mars rover could handle millions of people we really could have separate planets. i had different work/employment plans that i have never been able to do due to just having to work to make ends meet.. how many children do you want to bring up in your 50’s and 60’s joe? came across this just now from a search as i was feeling having gone through menopause and now on the other side, my skin and face has just *changed* without my being able to do anything about it (save cosmetic surgery or some such icky thing). my experience tells me that i made the right choice. so men are not hating women, they’re taking the rational and sensible position to avoid them. this sounds cynical, but at your age don’t you think it’s time to take off the optimism glasses and throw on the realism pants? he graduated from ashland university in 2009 with a degree in journalism. i am looking for satisfying relationship which is based on mutual respect, understanding and real love. her husband is a working man, not a drunk, not an abuser, but not making the money she thinks she deserves. knows i'm not immune to this; my first instinct upon reading your letter is to say "no, relationships are great and i'm sorry you were hurt but…". you are not formally educated and are not suited for the job market. a relationship is catastrophic when both are “retired” because now the woman has 5x the work while my mate thought being retired was doing nothing. in the army a sergeant doesn’t argue with a general, even though i’m sure he may privately wonder what is going on in his head. i’m enjoying living alone now, but one day i want to have someone to share my life with…someone intelligent, sweet, fun, silly, romantic, and open to love. i have decided to forget all the “wish list” bs, and look for a normal guy that likes women and want a mutually respectful, loving relationship. but watch out, she will be strong and independent, at least until you slap her down and she finds its all worth it anyway. i think the whole marriage children thing isn’t worth it – unless you are totally into each other and totally committed and in love. think 30 years old women would understand the life experience you had? if you make him the king, then you are condemning yourself to being a serf or a slave. yeah, well over-40 women do that and men care just as little as you did back then. to put it succinctly, there were no warning signs, whatsoever. fella who posed the setup to him, became annoyed, and said to my friend:You’re a little old to be choosy; aren’t you? had lost satisfying relationships because the men wanted to get married but the women didn’t, sometimes because it would hurt them financially and sometimes because they didn’t want to have to care for anyone else anymore. How long to wait for email reply online dating

I am not interested in dating you

women can covet such anger and rage…it’s amazing. i had surgery a few years ago and closed that window for good after a run of men who were trying to get me pregnant. deleted my online dating profiles and mobile apps from my phone. i am a 5’6″ blonde, female, mother , educated masters degree, good job, funny, 135 lbs, healthy, active, caring, happy, life loving, pet toy poodle love, inquisitive, researching, gardening, man loving and i mean love of a real man, not a mama’s boy, but as a real woman and a real man relationship that requires two to stand up and be grown-up when it comes to being responsible for self! not all are like that, however — were you just attracted to type-a women? when i have met them their arrogance made them increadibly unattractive and irritating. this is very unattractive and when years of bad habits are on the outside we know years of mental problems are are the inside. i am attractive enough to date and play around, but relationships lack the depth i crave. within an hour of posting my profile, i got contacted by a “young man” of 49. if equality is not achieved, then why do they piss and moan about alimony, paying for their little shit factories that a man may not have even fathered and have a court system that defaults to catering women over men? i’d much rather be financially independent than rely on a man. most people men and women combined do not have the income level to support yearly updates and remodels of homes, around the world vacations and other things. she and her ex did it themselves…no alimony, no child support. they put themselves out there – their emotions, their hearts, their hopes. typically want a relationship enough to accommodate inviting minor changes in routine is mistaken. my former marriage was a claustrophobic twosome where whatever energy i had left (after all the household responsibilities) was taken up maintaining or fighting for balance (which never happened). a person in a relationship isn't automatically happier or more content just because he or she is sharing their life with someone, just as someone who's single isn't by definition sad or lonely. but there were two problems: he wanted to see me everyday and the chemistry wasn’t there. and also, the only women interested in me right now seem to be 22-28-year-olds for some reason. NerdLove, the only dating advice column that's secretly responsible for ending The Time War. last night he chapped my door bringing me a parcel that he had taken for me and we chatted a bit at the door. lot of things to consider, but here are some of the most important:Are your lifestyles compatible? i had always been a woman who based my worth on who loved me, but once i bought my own house and started taking care of me and learned that i can be independent, my desire to be in a relationship vanished! it might not be men that are the problem; it might be you. i don’t have to marry, and we need to all consider how it affects our retirement/financial plans… staying single is sometimes a better choice in that regard. people think i am a misfit but that’s okay. you may have a better chance of meeting that right person through mutual interests than by randomly dating., years ago, a friend of mine, was presented with a proposition, which he turned down. their sex drives are typically waning, they’ve usually made a career for themselves and so have money to do whatever they want to do, and the women their age are on average not fun people to be around. i am an attractive, never married, 47-yr-old woman, who has always been very independent., it sounds like your friends are worried that you're not happy. it wasn’t by choice, just didn’t get to “that point”. neither of us wants to move in together, and are happy to just spend a day a week together. you don’t want any man — you want a man who will love, cherish and embrace you through menopause. coupledom is not for everyone — bella depaulo writes about this a lot. my husband did run off with another woman two decades ago; didn’t want to be a father anymore, he said. a relationship where you meet for dates and a romp sounds perfect for both older men and women. if one contacts you and you immediately know your personalities won’t mesh, say “no thank you. isn’t there a happy medium between a couch potato watching ice road trucker repeats and mr. most women turn me down for dates; some just stood me up. if you do online dating, you can read into some of their profiles what they’re looking for. but yes, it’s all the women’s fault, men haven’t changed for the worse at all. and, according to one comment in this forum this would indicate there would be something wrong with me. i have a stressful job and i prefer to come home to my own house after a long day. i was raised in an environment where men and women worked, hard, together, to create the best they new how. however, the so-called rules of dating have become so astutely followed, one mistake means the end of what could be a meaningful relationship. so i’m coming to terms with the fact that i will be alone the rest of my life. just don't think i need to be in a relationship to have it." or, even if they're not, they're actively looking, talking about guys or girls, etc. all the other people perfectly okay with being in your situation did not come to c-d and create a thread about it. i went to the gym today and while there decided that i would knock on his door when i got home and explain that i really just want to be by myself tonight, but he wasn’t in and i wrote a note and posted it in his letterbox. he fell hard and fast; i was more gun-shy after 2 failed marriages. was married for 32 years, the last 3 years he was very sick. for women – but it means the men are along for the ride too. while any shortfall of single males in their 50s can be filled with men in their 60s and 70s willing to date younger, the same can not be said for women who are 60+. when i was in my 20s/30s i wouldn’t have looked twice at a middle aged man and have up until now been quite baffled by their apparent allure to young women. complain that women spend money remodeling the house–of course they do–the home is where your wife entertains and is a social signifier of who she is. i am 53 now and have been single for the past 2 years. what happens though is that as you get older (i’m 55), i think we all start to realize there’s a plan. the second reason is they fear being caretakers for another loathsome male soul who might come along and actually show her some affection. thanks for letting me know i’m not alone in this.'s either nature (asexuality) or nurture (scars from childhood and/or previous relationships) or, more probably a combination of the two. that is a learned skill and i don’t think i have learned it very well, having lived alone for around ten years. i admit that the feeling of loneliness comes time to time, but is not that bad comparing to be with a wrong one. but what do you know, eventually the penny drops and slowly 50+ men discover that contrary to reports in the media, not all younger women, in reality, find them irresistible. if your wife does not work outside the home, then that home is her world and she deserves to make that world comfortable for her. much as i loved him i had no desire at all to remarry for the reasons of being totally independent, not having to answer to anyone but myself for anything. in the words of the grinch, “i’m all dead inside” i still find some men wonderful and sexy. it is not fair, we take care of ourselves then hormones go away and we are stuck with this new look. here are some reasons why:the gamesmanshipi remember once being at a friend's for a guys’ night when a woman i was interested in became a topic of discussion. but i really do not know why they think i am so good, maybe due to my intelligence and confidence. i can tell you that women have as much interest in sex, intimacy and having fun as men do and are often looking for a man who is comfortable with himself and is willing to accept a woman the way she is when he meets her. anything, it’s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating. i guess there’s nothing but asshole men when it comes to dating here of late! i have never been the girl who dreamed of weddings or wanted to get married, and i have never, ever wanted children, still do not. try to keep perspective and not look at this as a rejection of who you are. the very thought of give and take and ‘we need to talk’ and ‘you’re not spending enough time with me’ type of conversations all feels so claustrophobic. those who continue to seek love, i hope you find it and value it once you do. i am sympathetic but as this can be an emotional rollercoaster etc. basic competition theory would suggest men have significant power given these distorted ratios, men can be choosier while women can not, though based on various blogs it seems the 60+ crowd of single women are a picky as ever.! my wife and i came very close to divorce, and i came close to having a second family. the man gets bored with that, and that’s when he cheats. no longer feel awkward about dining alone, even in a restaurant filled with couples. it is fact that many of these women have very severe mental issues and are gay as well since they really hate us men for no reason at all when we really didn’t do anything wrong for us to get cursed at from the beginning. they’re devoted to the method of being pick-up artists while tallying the number of times they scored along the way. i haven’t had a relationship for 17 years, i have not been able to find anyone my own age who has a good head on his shoulders and is even remotely attractive socially, physically or otherwise by anyones standards. it’s called a preference, and there’s no right or wrong about what each of us prefers. we both have our lives (he has a very demanding jog), while i work (in a low pressure job), play sports two nights a week and spend time with my kids. you keep making the same mistakes and ending up in the same place over and over again, then you need to be willing make some changes in your life. i always take the next car or have a 3rd person as witness. i feel like i am fifth or sixth on the priority list just behind the cats ! i had my ovaries removed at 31 and technically went through menopause.. by not addressing the situation, you will often succeed at exactly the thing you want to avoid: hurting someone. very few 20 year olds are in this place of enjoyment, financial stability+happiness with family/life-don’t assume you know anything regarding me. i didn’t realize how hard i worked in the marriage and at the relationship, until i left. i imagine the hollywood bureacracy is still a good-old-boys’ network and, like the stereotype, they prefer younger women–as actresses, if not dates. follow very lean/healthy diet (low carb/low fat/high protein). to middle-aged women who insist on finding the high earners: they can usually get someone younger than you. my boyfriend is honest with me and has told me he definitely is starting to feel changes; we both do, but he doesnt go around acting like i’m the only one getting older and going thru hormonal changes, he’s very aware hes going thru it too. modern marriage is nothing more than two rommates shacking up, being dumb enough to “marry” (sign a financial and property contract) based on nothing and giving up when it gets hard. when i say mostly, i mean that i am capable of taking care of myself, but i am not financially able to take total care of the both of us while still caring for my son, now in college, myself and him too as well. on the days i get really lonely i almost wish i was as easily amused as i was in my 20’s, although logically i know better! most men are not a risk taker in the name of love. a family elder told me 30 years ago that senior women didn’t want to be nursemaids or bed warmers; that still holds true. all feminism is about is the right to be treated like a human being–not like a sex toy, an incubator, and a servant. frankly, the idea of pursuing a woman with romantic intentions has no appeal. when you were with your ex, how often were you interested in having sex? over eight years, you must have changed your profile dozens of times trying to attract the women who are deserving of you. helped me realize a single life is the right choice for me and now i realize and understand why other older women have taken this choice as . i look from mid-thirties to late thirties — i am late 50’s in reality.! i had to laugh at your description of so many men’s dating profiles. is why some guys divorced at 40/50 end up with 30 something wives, they are often career women who desperately want children. fast forward 10 months… the husband has adjusted to being a single father. both parties gain companionship and additional financial stability allowing for more frequent and enjoyable leisure activities, travel, dining, etc. has to be a reason they are divorced, especially more than once, and i doubt very much that it was all his fault. to take care of her and be there for her…have a long lasting relationship with her. you prefer to be alone versus give up your freedom? i am not prepared to commit to living with him. simply do not want to get to know anyone as quite frankly what i want to learn in my life cannot be found in a claustraphobic twosome where my entire energy is taken up maintaining or fighting for balance or to keep harmony,Why fight for basics in a couple that i dont have to as a single person? had interesting encounters in the dating field that began to make me question the whole process and its intended purpose. i still look good and get male attention but was confused as to exactly what it was that i wanted from a male. o'malley is a writer and dating coach who provides geek dating advice at his blog paging dr. i am for cutting men some slack as long as they are open to enjoying togetherness in different ways. met couple of nice men online, but didn’t work out. whenever i’ve expressed the desire for romantic love, sex and marriage, i get criticism and told you don’t need a man, you’re a strong black woman. my kids are 30 and 27, and have been out on their own for years. i do not know how you have put up with that grief for that long. are lots of people who don't want those things, including people who may engage in them, just because they feel pressure to do so. i haven’t had a lot of dates in my life. if your relationships follow the same blueprint every time, then you need to stop and examine just why you keep going for the same types of people over and over again. it may help to keep a journal; writing things down and re-reading it over time may help you find patterns of behavior that you weren't aware of. you believe it’s a level dating playing field for older men and older women? i personally prefer someone my age or a little older. he was the only one with whom it felt "right. i don’t care about marriage but i am hopeful i will find love and a good relationship again. as a woman of 55, i’ve had knee repairs, keep an eye on my blood pressure, wear reading glasses, gained a few pounds over the years, so… none of these things “perform” as they did 20 years ago. i go to meet up groups and out with friends, i take care of myself, and enjoy life. spending the last hour reading through all of the comments from readers here, yours is the only one that struck me as coming from a place of complete emotional health. oh well, one can blame and complain all they want but in the end one has to face the fact the life isn’t fair…and just deal with it. it just would be so much more satisfying to share the outcome. i dated lots of women in their late 30’s, 40’s, and early 50’s. as a single professional woman who worked her way thru education and never had a penny handed to her, a man with poor decision making skills who chose someone to stay home and become vested in a pension plan from him is not attractive. a few things became clear to the researchers early on — the women treasured their independence and craved companionship. i’m 42 fit yes i’m independant baggage dealt with i love men, i’m easily pleased not materialistic happy with my life but all i’m looking for is someone to enhance it. in addition i look 10-20 years younger and consider myself somewhat above average looking (i still get a lot of looks). Dating club new york west palm beach florida

Why am i not interested in dating anymore

week we have a very different kind of question from a reader: how does he make it clear that he. perpetual string of men that: “just didn’t get it!, thank you for acknowledging that we middle-aged gals love sex, intimacy and fun! i’ve been to the 50’s singles get togethers, pushed by friends, but after seeing the dynamics these days couldn’t find the door fast enough! because i can love hard, enjoy a healthy sex life in a committed relationship. women who believe this are not only pathetic, they are going to be sorely disappointed. you know how when you were 22 and the men your age would try to impress you with all the crap they’ve done and things they own? but she says that is not enough … and not for the reasons one would think. i’m looking for a custom fit system to solve my unique dilema. as a male of the age demographic in question (not that i am dating or trying to date), i hear more from women that they have no use for a man in their lives than i do one seeking a partner. will have to forgive me if i don’t tear up. after getting over my initial scepticism, we met and have been seeing each other regularly ever since. ex ran off in the middle of the youngest’ s first year of college, also had to deal with a pile of debt that was new to me that took years to get rid of. part of me thinks they’re bitter and are just looking for someone to take it out on. your alone time, im glad for that, because i need mine too.) so, in “the new i do,” the book i’m co-writing (it went to the publisher yesterday — yay! online dating is discouraging as mostly there are no interesting men (or ones without a big belly and they all have pics of motorcylces, dogs, fish, what’s with that? unfortunately i am not very good with the “fwb” arrangement, it suits some and not others. a lot of men who are 40 to 60 today were screwed by the angle jacob describes. we’ve done our bit for king, country, and the fairer sex. well, for the most part, men are devoted players with phobias for commitment and settling down. her hand shakes, she makes the call and sheepishly asks if he wants to get back together? as a 50 year old single, empty nester, there have been times when i wondered if i’d ever make a connection with another man again. too many times the word cougar is mentioned to which i am highly insulted. been divorced for only 18 months and dating is true my abysmal! is she someone who hoards slights and grievances like a passive-aggressive squirrel hoarding hate-nuts for the winter? doing something you love fills a big void, at least for me. it’s always one excuse or another and i’m fed up with the bs. i guess i need some tips on what i should look for in a girlfriend. little did i know that i really wasn’t ready for marriage #2. during that time i met an italian online quite by chance and after several months chatting he asked if i would like to meet in rome. (and i have always believed that it’s good to identify those men and remove them from the 50-something dating pool asap; i’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! i rather go with my own generation, because it is fun to grow old together. work is licensed under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-no derivative works 3. well, it did when i have tried it a few times. i honestly think we were both afraid of being hurt. basic math shows that most of these women will have picked themselves a permanently single life whether it is welcomed or not. if you don’t want to get involved with this neighbour that’s ok. while marriage was not always easy, as most human relationships are complicated, we loved each other well. i applaud you for writing in about a dating scenario that is all too often mishandled. as i note in the blog, if a woman has spent a good part of her life caretaking others — a husband (or husbands), kids, aging parents — we do get to a point where we feel it’s “my time. worn out cliché: “70 is the new forty”, was designed to fuel consumerism. eventually stopped to think, and along the way, i had an epiphany: dating was more trouble than it was worth. i don’t expect someone to take care of me or support me. and you don’t want me anyway, so alls well that ends well. even if she’s gorgeous; there’s lots of gorgeous single girls out there. seriously, leaping into the daddy role for a two-month-old child so early in a relationship? i’ve never taken a man for a ride i’ve been open to hearing their past experiences and try hard not to judge people. why should i fight for basic rights that i have as a single person?’ve kind of realized that there’s no perfect answer. said if we didn’t look then we would narrow our chance of meeting other people.. it just leaves them floundering for the next 30 years of their lives. there is the contempt for men which women harbor which is always just below the surface. would like to find a sane man to share my life and home with. oddly enough it’s been the 30 somethings investing all the effort while the 40 somethings are playing passive agressive games dropping “hi” breadcrumbs to keep themselves up the top of my inbox and trying to get me to do all the work. i want marriage, he says he wants marriage also, but i think it is “us” that is not working out. behavior, ask an expert, breaking up, dating, emotional sensitivity, etiquette, maturity. the entire time i was trying to make a wife happy who seemed determined to spend the family into oblivion, and the more stuff she did and the more stuff she bought the more it took to make her happy. sees the glass as half empty while i am the glass half full type. might as well be, i haven’t had much luck in the past. what is a man’s excuse for being obese and out of shape? yes, we’d all like a bit of both but if the purse is empty gentlemen – listen to nature and don’t waste your time -or your love. you say that you are not comfortable with what he does, well that means it does not work for you. i just couldn’t divorce him while he was jobless. i have been told that we do not share similar “consumer behavior”. we’ve been on several family vacations and weekend getaways for two. you believe it’s a level dating playing field for older men and older women? meanwhile, after two failed relationships, another reader wants to know: what should he be looking for in a potential girlfriend? my friends call me a dreamer, but i believe that someday we all will meet the right one. i don’t want to be dismissive of the real pain and grief you — and all of us — experience from having your heart broken. i wonder how much of that is generational, with baby boomers being the me generation. the single professionals in my age group whom i have dated like their empty nest, and have strong preferences for their own routine, including stuff like toothpaste caps and how the dishwasher is loaded. i seem lost and not entirely sure what it is i should do. am only interested in women my age or older, but what i am finding is very disappointing; women my age or older prefer to be alone with a friggin cat and have zero interest in any sort of committed relationship. i find the attitudes expressed in the article and comments incredibly off-putting and have experienced them in my dating life. been there, done that, got a nice collection of detonators myself. successful, they achieve what they set out to do only to have no interest in seeing their selected targets ever again. i have even decided to downsize so the house does not seem so big and empty. we are still friends but i don’t want to complete anyone. i am happy with just me and my 6 cats (yes, i am that crazy cat lady at 24 years old). all three women openly said they wanted kids and although i was 50 then they would like a family if i was interested. when my harry passed away three years ago, he was still the same vibrant and wonderful man that i met many years ago in law school. so i read the pick-up artist stuff, learned how to be a ‘player’ and went back in. one is being self-sufficient, and the other is pushing people away because you've become convinced that people are bastards who will fuck you over. “if that were true, they would be lowering their standards. i think the reason it works so well is the fact that neither of us is looking for more than we what we have. for example, i really don’t mind doing laundry, cooking dinner, and cleaning, in fact i often find it therapeutic.. would you prefer to be alone versus give up your freedom?'s not that i'm not interested in marriage and the prospects of having a family; i feel there's a much bigger part of life i need to live and i've only been scratching the surface. this leaves women searching for those not-so-loathsome male souls who have enough money to finance their own health care and also don’t need their money to buy their latest post-middle age toy.” some women will say that they are sick of the “players” on the dating sites. but in spite of the good times/conversations we’ve shared, i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best not to continue dating. they study the field, armed with their well-crafted pick-up lines, designed to enchant their selected targets. have you ever heard a commercial for androgel or low-t? i take argentine tango classes on tuesday nights; i learn to salsa dance on wednesdays and friday evenings; i study for an upcoming exam for a new career. if the man is willing to allow me to continue that independence and not box me into a fixed role then i would definitely consider it. here’s to many more independent and fulfilling years ahead! i wish there were a service or something where people could “advertise” what they had to offer to meet up with others who are seeking and willing to enter into a “mutually beneficial” honest relationship. me, i have a handful of friends who are single again, in their 50s. started off as a hopeful adventure than began to deteriorate the more i pursed it, which eventually caused me to stop. use the knowledge, create the chemistry – but remember you’re a nice guy. like to take care of my partner and enjoy life with him. i have found the only people interested in me now are married men looking for a fling or men much older looking for someone 10 years younger. if baggage free, choose another baggage free, you are also matched.“we’re perpetually fed a line that we’re looking for love in a market that doesn’t value us,” says marina adshade, an economics professor in canada and author of dollars and sex: how economics influences sex and love.’s what’s happened in the past year — two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. she has suggested dating men between 45 and 50 to offset the health/aging factor as couples age. more to the point - being single doesn't magically prevent you from being happy. in my age range many of these men are very set in their ways, have ‘parked the bus’ or have let themselves go usually health-wise (which gives me fear of the caretaking factor). friend replied: that’s exactly why i have to be! something we don't hear very often - almost never, really - is that it's ok to be single. the only people winning are the lawyers and authoritarian systems eroding us. like many women, i raised my children, ran a household and worked as much then as i do now.’m not sure about the level playing field for older mend and older women. little background: my (now) ex-wife left me for another man while i was on a combat deployment. either you're assuming love way too early - mistaking infatuation and limerence for a deep emotional connection - or you're jumping the gun in terms of where the two of you are in terms of your relationship. stop to consider the medium you use to communicate your decision. he loves baking, cooking, writing, craft beer, and exploring california. if you have a low sex drive and she wants it every day and twice after game of thrones, then you're both going to go away unsatisfied. recently, i had three dates in one week from online dating. childhood issues,, the catchall for everything(mom and dad are to blame). into the dating pool, no one has a crystal ball. irony is, i don’t hate women in general but after dating online, you can see women who lived with their husbands until their house was paid off or their schools loans paid and or both and then had the court take his kids away and put his ass out on the street as part of a divorce settlement along with a substantial awarding of monies. i would hope they would find value in someone who can carry on an intellectual conversation, is witty, and can appreciate the simple things in life.’ve been in an on-again, off-again relationship with a wonderful man (he’s 59 now) for just over 3 years. at the same time, life in our 50s and older is full of loss — with so much more to come. i hope you are able to find a great companion to have fun with … and then go away. based upon what some of my female peers tell me who have been out there dating for years is that if you factor in the desire to have a reasonably healthy and energetic male in this age bracket the pickings do get slimmer. i can buy my own jewellery and am slowly learning to love myself and my own company. women go through menopause, which alters the body in many ways. don’t know about the former but the later is available — but it will cost you. i always approach men indicating that i am not looking for marriage, i am not looking to be taken care of nor do i expect to be their caretaker (for lack of a better word). it sounds to me like there's something about your behavior that gives off the "pissed off and resentful" vibe. until then, i just live life to the best of my ability. very frugal and not into material crap and modern “social technology”., ‘jay’ is not a woman hater for having an opinion – which, alot i agree with. but being stuck in a toxic, abusive relationship is almost infinitely worse. seems when it comes to the dating world, the us woman over 50 is at the bottom of the pile…., that last line makes me sound like such a strumpet. he develops a chronic illness i will do what i can to alleviate his pain and discomfort–taking on all financial responsibilities and household responsibilities myself if necessary. at this age it is almost impossible to meet someone, especially for an introvert. what i do want is someone that is committed to a monogamous sexual relationship and who cares and respects me as a person., i,m speechless, seriously if you look after yourself you can keep a very fit, glossy skinned body-eat in a certain way, you can look decades younger- i know the info isn,t readily available. i’ll also relate that i feel out of step with women at both ends of the spectrum. i just know i am not the right person for you and want you to find the one that is. What is the point of dating younger guy

Why am i not interested in dating

i am sorry for your loss, and am happy you have found a new love and a new way of being. he loses his job and declares bankruptcy i’ll face poverty with him and do what i can by working extra hours, helping cut expenses, and supporting him in his search for a new job–without nagging.’m not even 50 yet and the men my own age have already abandoned women their own age. now with the possibility of kids waaay over, i have some regrets. may depend on how much aerobic exercise you get - how much you run - and on diet. i am by no means criticizing or complaining — just providing an observation based on an admittedly miniscule number of women. no, not with the opposite sex, but alone, to recharge, read, take a walk or garden. always thought that middle-aged women didn’t date because older men want younger women. supposedly these women are superior to us in every way, to hear those guys talk. stop talking, or typing as the case is, you are making we women look crazy. don’t think i’m bitter, but girls and women have been nothing but irritating my entire life. for years even before my divorce, i was essentially a single parent, working full time and taking care of 90% of the household duties (wife couldn’t be bothered even though she didn’t work). we got on very well and subsequent visits were planned and eventually i met the parents. sometimes it's because you're sexually incompatible, or because she's just bad at monogamy. it’ s finding kindness, generosity, genuine interest and goodwill, shared values, some activities in common, and deciding on a joint adventure. being together as little as we are, we enjoy every minute together and don’t have the time to get on each others nerve. obviously, since then i’ve chosen men who don’t want to have babies. because i found a husband my age, bought my own home and had kids, i guess i never needed to look elsewhere. but if you are further along than a couple of dates, you may want to pick up the phone and actually have a conversation. kind of scary jumping in on lines nowadays, so i will wait for a friend first and see how it goes., johnny’s words are harsh, but sometimes, that’s all anyone will listen and react properly to. i guess i’m just going to have to date younger women, i’d rather not, but gee wiz when all these older women want to hole themselves up in their homes with a cat or cats, have no real interest in a relationship.’m sorry that was your experience, william, and it’s great if you are happy “as is. since the of today have really changed since the good old days when now there are so many very greedy, selfish, and very money hungry women these days that will only want the best of all and will never settle for less unfortunately. i agree a woman should not let “having a man” define her happiness. the first is about how you try to treat women like princesses. having a realistic view of life is not the same as having a pessimistic view, which you seem to have embraced. the rest and my ex-hub were good people and we just wanted different things. i have enjoyed my “freedom” but there is so much more to enjoy with someone you mutually respect and freely love. here on the bs meter… bottom line all men stayed nine years old forever and will tell nine year old boy level lies to you. i have two children who lived with me after the divorce (their mom couldn’t be bothered). many older women are fine with compromising in love — to a point. i personally think internet dating is such a con and the only people that suggest i do it are those in relationships andnever tried it themeselves (which makes me laugh). is also article after article about how bad american are. i also have never been married, have no children and have not been in and out of relationships my entire adult life. we're taught that being in a committed relationship - a husband or wife, 2. i will be very blunt- i am not willing to deal with a lot of health and body issues of men over 60. wonder what their reasons were/are…the majority doesn’t always speak for the minority…. lots of friends lost along the way, “here we go again” scenario.’m over 50, and while i do have things i have to do, work, i am not so rigid that it’s impossible for me to do new things. and when we don’t want to date, we’re what’s wrong with the world. normally considerate people will justify completely disappearing by saying they don’t want to hurt the other person. i can’t relate intelllectuallly or emotionally with younger women and i don’t share in the immense experience of older women. i gave that garbage up some thirty years ago, when i was in my thirties. but to get to the point of relationships; i have taken on the responsibility of raising my two grandchildren who are very young and have had them for 3 years. maybe, considerations for the future just were never seriously taken into account! we reach retirement males want love, a companion and nurse. imho sex is overrated, and i wouldn’t care if i never did it again. for economic/insurance reasons, we stayed together in the same house. the “players” know what to say to manufacture the “chemistry” and the “connection”. and when many of us good men out there will try to start a conversation with a woman that will attract us which she will curse at us since i had this happened to me already and a friend that i know had it happened to him a couple of months after me. after you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads. one can have a very full life without romantic partners (read bella depaulo) by choice, rather than letting one bad marital experience determine it. the risk of sounding conceited, i am a very attractive, fit/thin female who is talkative and outgoing, so it's not like i "can't get" a guy and have therefore sworn off men. these are the women who rejected the nice guys like you and then ask, “where are the nice guys”. which is why many choose to live apart from their romantic partners, as i do. show your match the same respect you would want if the tables were turned. even the study the author cites says older women who refuse to give up independence get loneliness instead, & that she like the lonely women want companionship & independence. i am 5’4″ and wear a size 6, not that such things qualify me as an expert in being attractive.”ultimately, i saw myself as a dog trying to chase a speeding ferrari. works for us and i hope it will continue for some time to come. i always thought that in a relationship that each person basically took care of their part and if they needed a little help from their partner then their partner would support them on times of need and vice versa. it’s better than the best thing they offer, and brings none of the bs!…takes two to tango…first look at “yourself” in the mirror…just cliches…they say…i was married to my first wife for 17 1/2 years…she always thought grass was greener on the other side…after i left, she went on to relationship after relationship, married and divorced twice more…i feel sorry for her…forever searching…never finding…i was married once…maybe enough for me…. if i meet a great guy at this stage, not even sure if i want to get married now. post wendy it seems that so many people see age as a barrier to enjoying life sometimes it is about choosing carefully and making sure that someone is ready to meet you half way going through the hurt of being someones caretaker for a few months until they feel ready to move on is indescribable and knocks self esteem and confidence there are many lovely people out there. yes, some might say i simply chose poorly, but i also see far too many men in the exact same spot as well, and i know zero couples where i would be okay taking the man’s place. you say you want a relationship but then mention that the people you’ve dated like their empty nest as it is. is it with men, when i was younger no one wanted anything serious because i was divorced with children, by the time i was in my 30s no one wanted a serious relationship then either because i was a promo model and they didn’t like other men looking at me (the exception being creeps who didnt care about me they just wanted a trophy wife or those who wanted “good breeding stock”), now my kids are grown and i have my own business no one wants anything serious because i’m “too old”. sometimes i absolutely love it, having my alone time, but i think that one day i’ll want more. even though we maintain separate houses, we help each other with our respective “honey-do” lists. a loved one experiences a major illness or disability and is not the same person. but if you've been holding on to and nurturing that anger and resentment… well, that's going to be affecting just about everything in your life, and that's kind of a shitty way to live. i have many female friends, but i wouldn’t want to live with any of them. at this point, i am about to throw in the towel. have told her that i love her…see her as part of my future…. i have many friends and a hundred things i’d love to learn about. as for me i shall be just fine and maybe someday my knight in shining armor will appear (lol). being single in my mid 50’s, great income, lots of fun to be around, non-abusive, and very social causes many friends young and old to point out my singleness. i’m pretty sure that someday i’ll want to get married again, but not anytime soon. the time men are in their 50s, the workplace has taken their lives away from them as a condition of employment. want to know where to find active men who want to do something. it is easier to just enjoy my social life with my friends who share the same interests that i do. they convince themselves it is better to just fade away. ruined datingyes, i'm a guy, and yes, i'm saying men ruined dating. fearing commitment and the loss of my independence, along with thinking there would always be more time, has now left me wondering what i have given up. i love your description of a loving relationship…so beautifully written. i haven’t dated in 4 years because life got in the way.. do you believe it’s a level dating playing field for older men and older women? the men i do meet are usually not on the same financial playing field as me, most are dysfunctional, some are alcoholics and/or abusers and most are game players or timewasters(online and off). i believe that lowering the walls is the only way to true intimacy. i just don’t think i am relationship material in this age. i am not referring to any one person’s comment but the collective malarkey in these comments. the affection may be nice but the imagined potential adult diapers are not. that is why men start to have sexual dysfunction and lack of energy around 50 +/- a few years. it isn’t hopeless, even if you’ve gone through cancer alone (i hope you had a support group and are doing well). im a guy of 63 and probably an outlier in that i just never did like the dynamics of dating so didn’t. i'm happy as i am, i have no interest in dating and that's not going to change, and i'd appreciate it if you'd just drop the subject. but i would be a fool to think that i could do whatever i want whenever i want within a marriage. you're happy, if you're getting your needs for companionship and intimacy met and you're content being single, then just. cheating with every bar fly they meet ,escort,or stripper. all three worked at the university i worked at as a casual lecturer/ tutor. they scout the nightclubs in search of their latest one-night conquests. no, i don’t need a man in my life to complete me, but it sure is nice to have one to enhance it. it never happened to me and i’m sad, but on the other hand i am capable and independent – because i’ve had to learn to be.: something tells me that you're the sort of person who commits. they reason that vanishing without a trace is better than rejecting someone out right…right? major problem with relationships nowadays isn’t a man or woman thing. but as i accept you, please accept me and those like me. i haven’t even thought about it until two years later now. so finding real love for many of us men is certainly a real challenge now as you can see which most of us really have no reason to blame ourselves at all since it does take two too tango. i’m 49 and i had the worst time with entitlement attitudes from men more than a couple of years older than i am. but the points will be scored with the aquiring of an acceptable male. moreover the thought of raising and providing for a second family is not really that appealing after all! this doesn't need to be about rehabbing your wounded soul so you can go out and date again, just about giving yourself some closure and learning to let a decade-old wound heal. i am so busy with work and kids and sometimes feel stressed because just me with kids and jobs. 37 to 42 ish there is a real knowledge it is children now or never, a lot of women do struggle with this if they are single; the late 40’s early 50’s divorced guy is the second option over the single younger guys, but he is in demand. don’t think anyone can comment on what any women wants . i suppose you are god’s gift to women in the looks department. i realized after all those years being a mother, and before that a wife and mother, the house is very empty and cold now that everyone is gone. one or two more viewings of “fatal attraction” should finish that off! i think many middle-aged *people* don’t need to date or be in relationships to be happy. isn’t to say all men are bad, as some are superb gentlemen; it's just that the bad crowd polluted the dating world. many men that i have met are like old dogs who don’t want to get off of the porch. three years ago i found out that my husband of 24 years was having an affair with a 27 year old (we were 49). on three myths about living apart together that need to endbeen there already on dating at middle age – why bother? it normal to want to try something new when the prson you are dating is hot? and recognizing those patterns is the first step in breaking them. my “man filter” is set on high at this stage of life and my bs tolerance level is set on low. the men i’ve met just going out as soon as they find out how old i am many react very badly and are quite nasty, others i see their body language change as they put me into the “i’d f it but i wouldn’t marry it” box, these men are my age, i’ve stopped telling people how old i am now. he was and is a great guy but was very needy. was no major event that led to my decision to stop dating; rather, it was a long process that only grew as the experiences began to tally up. i love to travel and photography and blogging take up quite a bit of time with every day stuff leaves little time to think about a partner except when i’m writing about it. i’m “all in” this time around, but he’s got a wall up, and is keeping his heart guarded. women, too much exercise can cause depletion of estrogen and progesterone,Two hormones important to sex drive and satisfaction. tim must have beer goggles, when he looks at himself in the mirror., there are some of us women that truly like men, like sex, and want to find a good fit for our lives. i kept track of my progress and looked for areas of improvement, as if i was running a business, but it never made me happy, especially when i had dates that never panned out. idea of a romantic partner is faintly alluring even still, but the knowledge of what modern relationships are about, and what modern people seem to want out of life makes me just shrug and say:Omgchroniclestwitter: omgchronicles says:April 22, 2015 at 1:41 pm. can’t reach the berry so she calls it sour!“my closest friend recently left her husband because her husband was selfish and resisted yearly updates and remodels suggested by their interior decorator. too many women have no means to support themselves after a divorce because “they needed men” a little too much during their marriages. recent study looked into why older women — in this case, women in their 60s and 70s — date. i can’t feel bad because my body is going through menopause and a man won’t be attracted to me for that reason. they have the right height, zero body fat and, perhaps, a nice income. Are any of the big bang theory cast dating

Are You Not Interested In Dating Anymore? - The Balanced Narrative

Why am i so not interested in dating you

the lifelong ‘spousal maintenance’ is just something to work around anymore while i watch the ex. i was divorced at 44 for the younger woman and children were not an issue. as a general rule of thumb, people who're cool with you committing that fast tend to not be people you want to be in a relationship with in the first place. you might have a harder time relating to a more free-spirited, laid-back go-with-the-flow type. women have the advantage in that they only have to accept or reject any proposals they receive.! there are billions of people in the world when i want that interaction. then the eliminate men from the dating pool that aren’t chasing women like herself or other approved demographics. i'd like to know if there is something that i should specifically watch for. the houseboy will have affairs on the side with younger women and the 50-something can get a nice cat for a companion and chat on npr forums for intellectual fulfillment. i have found myself meeting really cool fun people as of late, so at least i’m having a much better time as of late. i will concede the point that there are some, maybe even many, nice worthwhile single women in their mid fifties out there. in fact, many said they were not interesting in caretaking ever again — they’d been there and done that. closest friend recently left her husband because her husband was selfish and resisted yearly updates and remodels suggested by their interior decorator. all i hear is, you are a beautiful woman and i want to date you. i don’t know what the future holds for me, but i remain optimistic that –if meant to be — i will find a suitable companion. last year i was visiting friends in boca and met a gentleman with a nice 40 foot cruiser–the man had not taken the boat out of harbor in three years. it seems like the older men usually want younger women. men are set in their ways at this point in life, too… women are not alone in being empty nesters. ultimately, i have my own small business (a lot of stress would have been spared if i’d been an entrepreneur from the beginning instead of trying to follow a traditional career track), that has literally saved the ranch and kept the roof over my head, not to mention some hours of terrific pleasure in nature. he has been in before, but last night he just went that bit further and i was not comfortable with it. remember, if you are being yourself, you are not doing anything wrong. you are absolutely right, “there is so much more to enjoy with someone you mutually respect and freely love”. greedy women (potential dates) want him ‘baggage free’ to pad her own nest. amazes me how when a woman first startes dating a man, the men have no problem renting a house boat for a few weeks off the amalfi coast, or riding vespas through the south of france while staying at vineyards. but i don’t regret making the wrong decision and marrying and breeding just because “all my friends were doing it”. but they were not willing to compromise on losing their sense of freedom, to the point that  they were “willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence. a good number of my friends keep telling me to "get back out there," or some sort of variation of that., let's be fair: two girlfriends is a damned small sample-set and you're not giving me a lot of detail to work with. rocky, thanks for calling out the elephant in the room, menopause. i’ve accepted now that men see women as a disposable object of low value, their loss, i’ll be focusing on my business now and men, well they know where they can go. so trying to compare how you feel and act in your 40’s to actual mid life (as it stands now) is ridiculous. yes, if you want to be dating someone, there will be times that being single can leave you feeling lower than a snake's nuts in a drainage ditch. couldn’t care less if men my age want to skew younger (or women my age for that matter). you will make the perfect match for the right person. girlfriend wants a man who can “support” her in case ever loses her job. i’m now starting feel attracted to women again after 2 years of therapy and time trying to heal. all but the menopause are often valued by men who love the mother of their children. they met me so my looks got me the first date. stuart, i’ve always assumed 30 year old women choose 50 year old men as a way of securing a place on the overpriced property ladder, but actually your personal insight makes sense. not all men experience andropause symptoms starting in their late forties, but most experience a decline in vitality due to major decline in testosterone production. that’s probably the conversation we need to be having. sometimes you get bombarded by attitude and fantasyland talk and it gets to the point that single men have to detonate the message like a nuke to get everyone to listen, understand, and accept. i like to do many activities , dancing ,hiking, hiking ,kayaking fine dining , and skiing . this whole thing and other pages/sites like it, just confirms me committing suicide. not sure if i have the energy to get my heart smashed up again now. this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today! but i still believe there are many good women ( at least i am one of them) who are single. two attempts did began with good times but quickly reviled a level of deception i would never tolerate. you need to get out there and meet them in real life. agree that, at this age, i’m not interested in sacrificing or compromising any more. so, 0k later and a ‘reduced’ payment of now,only 0 per month (children are now adults), she had to file for bankruptcy because she pissed the money away. i was in fantastic shape in my 40’s and am still in great shape now too but time has inevitably reared its head despite how well i’ve lived my life. i’m finding that women in their 50s who say they want independence make it more of an issue and pull away from potential male lovers, friends, etc. i come and go where i want, when i want, and how i want. i’ll bet you’re an amazing woman, except this belief is not amazing:”my body is going through menopause and a man won’t be attracted to me for that reason. men and marriage are wonderful, but my dream does not include them. 1 in 4 women don’t have children, i think over 50% by choice, but the rest by circumstance and at 50 do you take on a 30 something and have kids and feel younger or go for an empty nester who only wants you for the weekend? when the pickin’s are so slim and you need to latch on to a meal ticket! the older, and stop pretending that the playing field is level. post can so relate to it wish there were more like you. i have discovered that some foreign women whom i get to know first simply based on my appearance are much more likeable, less demanding and more accommodating — in every way, even when i tell them my real age. scheming in ways to shirk his responsibility of helping pay our mortgage and any other bills!, in terms of what to look for in a girlfriend? can see that i am an attractive woman; i believe most men would agree. here’s a situation that’s very common and yet there’s virtually no discussion on it.. so, if you're constantly dating cheaters - and walking in on two girlfriends in a row means beating some pretty goddamn long odds - then you need to sit back and just look at who you're choosing to date and how you're interacting with them. is difficult for me to get noticed, that i know of. ironically, i met someone on a blind date (not from a dating site) and after almost 3 years of dating, we married. how you got where you are is not as important to the people you meet as much as what you learned from it…leave the sadness behind and move forward with optimism that can make you light up the room with confidence and not injured. person who can’t divorce (usually for economic reasons) but wants to date. its a major backward step and a recpie for resentment,My interests and passion would be secerely compromised by being in a couple as i don’t want to become another mans mother or main care provider. i managed to pick a whole bunch of guys that were not right for me. i have been trying to reset myself since he took me for such a ride. i feel that i have made significant progress in that area now and feel i can finally present myself as an independent woman again in the dating field. we were engaged and he did buy me a very nice ring, but eventually mother won and i was discarded. the guy would have to be worth it for me to go back there again.” years of childbirth, caretaking, menopause, and putting everyone else first do factor in (although putting everyone else first could well be lumped under “bad habits” i suppose). he has an extremely responsible and high profile job and, believe it our not, pays for everything, or at least 80% of the time. cars and the white picket-fence - is the end goal of life, the ultimate mark of maturity and adulthood and people who don't have this must have something wrong with them. in others, closing the match with a reason is a better tactic. i have accepted who i am, and i’m cool with being alone. a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), adshade says older women really aren’t disadvantaged on the dating market. make every effort to handle the situation with an appropriate level of consideration and maturity. lot of stupid women on this topic that was written by a woman anyway. i am 57, have been married, divorced, engaged again and reinvented myself after some serious illness and have no children. a divorced (my choice) single father over 40 i wouldn’t marry again to resurrect a child. all i could think was, “and how are you ‘exceptional’ that pierce brosnan should materialize in your living room? oh they’re sooo sweet in the dating stage… give it time… that’s why your there and i’m here. at this age , i want to travel without animals or small children. i’m way into me these days with buying clothes, things, and working on and enjoying good health. what a horrible empty society we live in now, what is the point? i worry about when i get older and can no longer drive and travel the way i do now. i exercise 2 hours a day; running, x-country skiing, biking, and am in better health than many 35 year olds. he is so loving and supportive but i have an acute awareness potentially i could loose myself by committing long term. i feel like if i mention that as time goes by women start to greatly out number men the women who compromise get first choice i’m insulting her as if i’m saying 2+2=4. we go to movies, museums and often he cooks dinner for me at his place. in my downtime, i enjoy a craft beer while watching my latest interest on netflix. they feel rejected and tend to believe that you are having an affair. wish you lots of luck as you venture out into the strange world of dating at midlife. was told there are rules to follow, but are they that important in today’s world? finally reap the benefit of her own bs, file for bankruptcy and shelter a sorry son-in law that can’t provide for our daughter. had talked about the future before, but now we’re just taking it day by day. i do think personally that the idea that women in their 50 by and large truly want a man is not a self-evident truth. be adamant from the beginning that there are many things you value more than money. still have great times together, but the sweet, loving, affection and passion are missing. online i have to lie and say i’m in my 30s to get a response, when i did a reverse search for my age the only men looking for me were old enough to be my father, its creepy. to not be with a woman is not necessarily a default position but it is becoming a rational decision of choice. loneliness and bitterness are stark, but we won’t talk about that, nor will we talk about how men like you swarm to any article that states the truth we women simply don’t want you anymore. they exist, and if that is what you want then please be open to the possibilities. you can imagine what the human body goes through for that. superficialityi have never been one to place a strong belief in the power of first impressions to accurately gauge what kind of person one may turn out to be. getting on an elevator with a female can get you fired if she files a complaint. my disinterest in sex could be because i just don't want to have any of those negative experiences again (i felt repulsed physically) and because i think nobody could ever compare to him (which is true). i have everything i need in my group of fun married and single friends that just accept me as i am. don’t want to be alone or lose my freedom — is it possible to have both without having to become a wife again? can be found dispensing snark and advice on facebook and on twitter at @drnerdlove. so many people want to write us off because of menopause, etc. i have a great career, with great attitude towards life. i work too much because i have very little money- was divorced from a crazy husband 11 years ago who destroyed me financially- not that there was very much, but what little there was gone and he ran up debts behind my back that made the economics even worse. had a few year relationship with a woman who was approaching 60. so just tell him to stop and that you have no romantic interest in him. it is more often perceived as threatening, remember “strong and independent”? married someone who had money or made a lot of money. look, i get that it seems like an obvious plus to show a woman that you worship the ground she walks on and you want to fulfill her every desire, but in practice, that's not exactly attractive behavior. that is something that has changed and that you mention in this article: being more selective.) who aren’t necessarily looking for a wife or a live-in partner. yes women go through menopause later but men also go through something and age all around too. often overused, outdated rulesi understand we, as a society, need rules in order to function. i first turned 30, i knew i was entering a decade of high expectations. i must start from the position you are not; sorry but every woman in my life has convinced me that you are all out to take advantage of me. so, 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 0k later, i’m living a life that suits me much better. now that’s not ‘entitlement’, i don’t know what is. is in response to the guy who thinks women are a drag who are going thru menopause. a younger man still wants sex while i want love and affection (which i get from my kids and family) and never from a mate. sorry, but you will have to pursue me and convince me you’re a decent person. sometimes a problem is only a problem because other people insist on. (so, no, the playing field is not level from that perspective). reason that you can’t find a good woman is that you are a lazy old dinosaur! however, it should rule out the “fat and ugly” comments that many women’s posts on such topics seem to bring. she also said before i look for another relationship i need to fix myself. so with this said, yeah i personally have trust issues with what i have observed. beautiful and amazing women know that a good partner will see that in them, regardless of their menopausal state or not. i don’t think i would even want to entertain that thought in the beginning of any relationship now, because it is after all, the beginning of a friendship and that will have to take time. the persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships. so easy to hide behind the screen and ignore someone who tried to be nice.

Why am i not successful in online dating

long ago, men and women expired/died in their 40’s/50’s, many sooner. the primary motivation to find or be with a man is gone. some are gonna read the bitterness here, in between the lines you see the real point. are no longer women, they been programmed to think they do not need men, but it’s men who need women. i feel very guarded now about the potential for being lied to again… ugh. is why many of us good men are still single today says:December 9, 2016 at 1:26 pm. when two people begin to date, they put so much on the line. i exercise regularly, eat healthy food and am very positive. i like the security of my nest… it recharges my focus, drive and zest for living life but i love being social. home is great, but there is a world out there that i’d like to explore preferably with a partner. i thought men were busy not wanting us and being too good for us. it is very much about having given and compromised and done for others most of my adult life. i do though have hope that a real man still exists for me out there. the women tell you that it is your sour attitude and bitterness that has caused you not to have formed a relationship. maybe it depends on location, but many of us know “if you meet them in the bar-leave them in the bar! and as i’m discovering, men like me are more plentiful than you might think. article was interesting to me because i’m a 53 yo twice-divorced woman and i’m trying to figure out just what type of relationship i want. she and her hubby live apart but also for economic/insurance reasons can’t divorce. marriage and relationships have been so utterly destroyed, families are a thing of the past or only for non-western societies that bothered to keep their values and familial bonds. i read a headline the other day that “std increase is linked to dating apps”. not 100%, but enough so you don’t feel that you’ve lost who you are, and can still have your stuff your way. i live in a council high rise flat ( the one i cared for my mum) and mostly i have decent neighbours. successful sex coaches offer solutions for issues in people’s sex lives. is that men want and mostly talk about dating young women. at least it sounds like you appreciate some part of him.” i take walks through my city in solitude and i enjoy every second of it. going forward, i intend to continue this while keeping dating in the past. at least, no one is really approaching me and my subtle approaches don’t seem to spark interest. unlike dave, i don’t have a particularly wonderful life (although it by no means sucks). i’ve since lived a very full life after realizing that i’d live one of quiet and totally depressing if i’d stayed. my last girlfriend had a 2 month old when i met her and i raised her from there. want a compatible mate; you carry your baggage, i’ll carry mine and we can spend time together and enjoy life without being burdensome dead weight. it possible you ended up dating two assholes in a row?’s nothing arrogant about saying i’m not interested in the middle-aged men who aren’t interested in dating in their age group, just like it’s not arrogant to say i’m not interested dating meth addicts or cigarette smokers. am educated, i am a great cook and very funny- but i am 61, do not want marriage- but would love to have a great friend. i don't feel bitter toward or resentful of couples; i'm very happy for them and i hope their relationships flourish to everlasting love. while she is very frugal, she does love her luxury items (she drives a bmw, i drive a ford edge). the flip side, if i were wheelchair bound, do i want him to take care of me. i’m in search of women that are intelligent, sweet/kind, physically fit and attactive (facial beauty is of particular importance) whom share common interest and goals. fed each other intel on their encounters with her and how they could, perhaps, win her over. a single woman would be crazy to take this on. on the whole, when women (or men) cheat,It's usually for a reason. fail-state of "relationship" isn't "single", it's "being in a shitty relationship". i stopped asking women out because it’s clear they are not going to go. while her dating issues are less of a problem (guys are less picky re: marital status), it’s still an issue for her. have any stories about how you broke out of a bad relationship pattern? when you meet a guy that you fancy you will feel fine when he pursues you. reasonably healthy and energetic men our age also has been tricky, but, again, not too hard where i live (sf bay area), where many men and women are active and fit and have healthy lifestyles. she said point-blank that she wanted someone “exceptional” who would take her out to dinner, maybe come home and have a little fun, then go home. he and i both earn a comfortable salary and can easily survive financially on our own. i then left the relationship of pure craziness as he fought in court to get me to pay him alimony and to give him my household furniture that i bought before our marriage. i’m going to join the local corvette club so i’m excited about that. like mary, i receive all the love and affection and joy i need from my kids and wonderful friendships, and love men as friends but have no desire to be in a committed relationship. i don’t need to be in a 50/50 relationship; i’d settle for 30/70. in fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partner. hilarious that older women blame the men when clearly it’s the young girls who are the hunters. this is almost never the case, not in our age. they only want a toy to play with; though many women are just as bad. here is where it comes full circle for the women on the dating sites. i miss him dearly, but would like to find someone active and older to go see the world with before it is too late. have found women aren’t particularly attracted to men who aren’t materialistic at our age. it was also a yearly fight about how much to spend for their annual christmas parties–her husband would nickel and dime the caterers menu/ the band/ the florist and the valet until it made my friends christmas party a miserable experience every year. although i am sure there are plenty of those, as i have experienced, looking for someone to take care of them and don’t care who they are, as long as they can do the job that mama doesn’t do anymore! but i’ve had no trouble being seen as attractive. no matter how you look at it, we as species will continue to hurt each other until the bitter end. it kept me literally alive through years of dating hell. there’s more of them out there than you think! she has clearly stated that she cannot take such a risk. i just can’t be bothered with it any more, maybe because i have a lot going on in my life at the moment? there simply won’t be the men out there who are available and have decent health. to say i was blindsided would be a massive understatement. and maybe some of it is that some women feel there should be some grand karmic payback in the form of a dashing white knight for all the years they sacrificed to their kids and ex-husband. if you're a serial monogamist and she's someone who simply doesn't see the reason to restrict herself to one partner, you're both going to be cruising for heartbreak. many of us just want friends to chat with, travel with, hang out with, and enjoy the beautiful days ahead with no complications. it is common for men to have your experience on online dating sites. balancing that with having an intimate and sexual connection with a man hasn’t been too hard, at least so far. typically sane individuals can become a jumble of nerves, anxiety and expectations. you say stuff like “i’m frugal” and “spend the family into oblivion” it just shows that you are a little child-man who is pouting and wants to hoard his money. unless a miracle happens, i know i’ll be just another unmarried on the shelf older woman. there are many ways to skin a cat and please each other, and it s always better when the pressure is not on. you don’t say what age range you’re looking to date and perhaps your profile doesn’t read well or, well, any number of things. am 55, am a tenured professor with a happy life, good relationship with my two kids, am a romantic and considerate person, and have been a life-long fitness enthusiast, training for a triathlon. it makes me realize just how lucky i presently am. i had a dollar for every time i saw “i’m a strong, independent woman” by a personal ad, i would be able to retire today. all my cousins, siblings, and family members are married or dating someone. doesn't always bring that much happinesswhen i was in the dating field, i saw it as adventure filled with limitless opportunities. even a year into a relationship, you're still getting to know each other; and it's barely the time to talk moving in together, nevermind raising kids.“my single lifestyle is a choice, and if you cannot respect my right to make that choice please don’t talk to me. choose well in dating, it affects all areas of your life. i don’t get paid to have one at home also. i have been there since 2003 and 4 of the 6 neighbours on my floor have been there longer than me. at some point i want to have someone to share my life with…to wake up with every morning, not just 1-3 times a month. my determining factor was this: if he were to end up in a wheelchair, would i want to care for him and i could easily answer, yes. in fact, i'd rather not have it, because i always worried slightly about pregnancy when it did happen, even protected. after spending a great day and night together, i go home to my place, looking forward to the next time. while i have several groups of friends, it's pretty hard for me to let anyone get too close, even women. i’m just getting to the point that i’m really enjoying my empty nest and the relationship that i have with my adult children. i’m not saying i necessarily want to get married, although it might be nice.’m a 55 year old male married to a gal who came out as gay a couple of years of ago. that may be true for younger people, but that isn’t always the case at this age, she says. social security check doesn’t always arrive on time, and you rarely hear from. she was friendly and displayed an outgoing personality, which i found appealing.. i’m a type a woman and i can assure you we type a women avoid wedding bands and everything and anything having to do with them whatsoever! with no inherent desire for a sexual relationship, they may be natural loners with little need for companionship, they may be avoiding potential hurt, they may have chosen chastity for religious or spiritual reasons or they may simply just think that the rewards are worth the potential risks and challenges involved in pursuing and maintaining a relationship. i am busy at university, i have good friends, live by myself (after being carer for my late mother and her dementia while doing my degree and going to italy to be with him). i also see a lot of the ones who are married or supposed to be in serious relationships back home. you really don’t want a woman who needs a man; you want a woman who enjoys the company of men and wants to be with one special man. sometimes it is better to give him/her a brief thanks, but no thanks. last february i started a relationship with someone i met on match. gets especially pronounced if someone happens to be single later in life, and many people fear the stigma of being single past a certain age. do i make those who refuse to drop the subject see that i would rather die a painful death than to go down that road again? the goal of feminism is to be treated like equals but when it come to catastrophe’s women turn into petulant little girls screaming for help. i take sex so seriously that i won’t share my body with a man unless he is committed to me–in the sacred vows of marriage where we swear to one another to live together till one of us dies. florida gets cold these days, and there are no subway grates to sleep on. i’m afraid to get involved because i’m starting to enjoy my complete independence (my 18 year old is in college now) and i also don’t want to lose myself again catering to and investing time into someone, and i refuse to lose my daughters inheritance to another situation. hopefully future generations will get rid of this progressive meaningless nightmare we live in. i still believe in courtship and friendship as a start of a strong relationship. but is she someone who blows up quickly but forgives just as fast? it is much better to give closure to something that has been started. then, about 6 months ago, at the suggestion of a friend, i put my profile on a dating site, clearly stating that i was not looking for a man to complete me, but rather a companion to spend some time with. dating in 50’s is so different because we all have baggages, at this age compatible companionship is more important than a marriage, it is so much time consuming for online dating, i don’t like it at all. if i found someone to love, it wouldn’t be giving anything up. power and speed sports that release a high amount of growth hormones and. good luck to all of us who are pursuing happiness and peace." you don't have to justify it or explain any more than just "this is how i feel. am 43, and i am a single father to the last of my four children as my youngest daughter is still at home (15). i've left dating in the past and i look forward to what is to come. this was a perfect article for how i am feeling today and i enjoyed the comments as well. clicking on the button above, i confirm that i have read and agree to the terms and conditions and privacy policy. he graduated from ashland university in 2009 with a degree in journalism. if a prospective mate doesn’t work out, let them down easy, as you would want to be treated if the tables got turned. Has anyone out there ever experienced just a total lack of interest in anything having to do with dating, getting Journalist and author vicki larson's musings on marriage, divorce and parenting. so basically i’ve resigned myself to spending the rest of my life alone and i’ve accepted this now which was extremely hard to come to terms with. fail-state of "relationship" isn't "single", it's "being in a shitty relationship". otherwise, people can be left destabilized, questioning themselves and more guarded for the next relationship. i have observed men in their 40’s with huge beer guts, and damaged skin, love handles. i have been to the top of the mountain, been pushed down the other side (a steep fall, indeed), and it is bullshit. then before the kids come–it is off to paris for the weekend–flying first-class and staying at the george v hotel. would much rather be alone than give up my freedom. in general, i do not let guys get very close at all. i’ve read some interesting points on preference and choices in this thread and i think that is what it boils down to. being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely or missing out or that you're miserable. been single for the last 8 yrs after we split up. i don’t think all 45 to 60-yr-old men enjoy an immature 20 to 30-something. both seemed to love me as much as i loved them, but here i am now, single and alone.

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.life is too short,Omgchroniclestwitter: omgchronicles says:April 22, 2015 at 1:48 pm. i could happily co-operate in a low-pressure, high-availability monogamous relationship – no marriage, no “care-taking” – but there simply aren’t any to be had. all men will eventually notice their bodies going thru a “change” too. wives don’t understand when you tell them you need your time alone. a window of opportunity is arriving when i could make a change and the one ingredient that can sway the outcome is fellowship with a like minded male. the deadly toxic liberal poison can easily been seen now days in america. my last rship finished a couple years ago and i wish i had better self esteem through my 20s and 30s because i may not be alone today. if you need some help with the actual words you use, here’s a good place to start: "this is not easy for me to say, and perhaps it won’t be easy for you to hear. however, look at (grr) hollywood and how actresses struggle for roles once they reach a certain age. a reasonable proportion of the women who are rejecting you on match would likely be receptive to you if they met you in person. not sure what you mean about reproduction/fertility being the thing. what that “more” looks like exactly, i’m not quite sure yet. it’s taking a little getting used to not checking my online dating site for messages but so far i’m pretty happy just letting things be. you can have a completely satisfying and fulfilling life without dating someone. also will honor and obey my husband–archaic as that sounds. completely understand how you feel and as a 48 year old female feel exhausted by dating, just need my own space and keeping busy with friends family and work is enough. maybe you just sound like this because you're tired as fuck of all the well-meaning busy-bodies in your life who keep poking at you demanding to know when you're gonna date again. i don’t want to hurt her but i don’t want to waste her time either. i believe many woman in my age group will relate to this. i like the freedom but do sometimes miss the companionship. reading this, i am so glad to be married to a man that is a good companion but barely tolerable as a husband. the last woman i met was fanning herself during the date due to a hot flash.’m a fun active healthy 51 year old man who ended an 11 year relationship 18 months ago. now that he has run off with the secretary his ex will live in poverty after the alimony runs dry. according to an aarp survey not too long ago, many divorced people do want love again … men and women. while i may feel sorry in a way that women become invisible in later years – my experience in younger days was they were chased by guys like me. said, i’ve pretty much decided to go it alone and stop looking.’s a hard choice, but i really think it’s a trick question. i have another good friend whose husband refuses to travel much anymore because of “how expensive everything is.. most women regardless of age, will see his lack of exposure and experience as a huge red flag. were curious about what i desired in a romantic partner. may not have those feelings because it's not in your makeup to do so, except perhaps with a very few people who "fit" especially well. the divorce settlement just wasn’t big enough or you “wanted it all”, ran into. i dreamt about being a beautiful young bride and having a home and family life like so many women do – but it’s not going to happen. bitterness tends to spread and infect things around it, affecting your world view as a whole. most had disaster stories of their prior lives (wonder if i attract such…). she lives with the memory of her dad who lost everything in bankruptcy about 15 years ago…and died early from alcoholism. then found out he held a family trust fund that he could live on for life. on that same note, american men have been turned into entitled babies thinking their girlfriends are their mommies, think that as long as they keep a job (if they can even do that) they don’t need to be available in a relationship and if she gets annoying, just leave her. thing is i meet a lovely man who i now love very much…. too have tried match for years and never got a date fun or otherwise. and, despite my constant attempts to get them to drop the subject (as i have less than zero interest in it), they keep bringing it up. told story joe, i am a divorced female after 19 years of marriage. ironically, if it was you, you would have figured it out and not wasted your time for eight years. comments about men’s sexual performance are unfortunate, there again an open mind is key. we each have our own houses, and have the occasional sleepover, but in the past it was more like 4-5 times a week (too much) as opposed to 1-3 times a month (not enough) now. please don’t look at hollywood or the media for that fact for any “truth” about people (well, you can believe this blog! the beauty of dating at our age, at least for me, is that without the pressure to couple up and have kids, we can spend time getting to know someone. once the kids have gone off to college–most men seem to think that driving to a different costco, on the other side of town is a vacation. i would like someone but i’m okay being alone. (not gorgeous or young always, but lots more single women than men. i was enticed by the possibility of finding “the one. we were married for 15 years, so i didn’t live on my own and learn to be independent until much later. i met and dated several men online, but the creeps out-numbered the nice guys. his new book simplified dating is available exclusively through amazon. i have no desire to work to support her lifestyle of leisure while i will receive nothing from it after he pays for his ex and kids that he created. this process, i had multiple online dating profiles and messaged potential matches. spite of the disappointing experiences and heart breaks, i remain optimistic about finding a life partner. but don’t want some endless dating cycle that’s more like a friendship. it’s when i get too bored i’m in danger of feeling too discouraged. if there is a man pursuing the same dream and we happen to meet, it’s icing on the cake. i wonder why they are on line, or trying to date at all? i have been through plenty of teeth rattling experiences, on my own, for the last 20 years. in the beginning of our dating and marriage he did just that, but then became all too comfortable with the fact that i was a strong, capable, mostly independent woman. my initial thoughts were of another relationship, but i found myself getting tired just thinking about it and couldn’t figure out why. register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! warren, i’m very new to eharmony and have gone on two dates with one of my first matches. i stopped; i was gearing up to solve a problem that's. when my own marriage collapsed, i ended up leaving, despite having a 2 1/2 year-old daughter (light of my life! do i tell someone nicely that i’m not interested? i find i’m unhappy and the marriage or being a wife is unfulfilling i will stay. i had a few dates that were wonderful experiences with women who truly impressed me and still do. i know there are other people out there who feel the same. there's certainly nothing wrong with that, but if you do eventually want a relationship, it would more likely be successful if you find a partner who has a very similar libido level. no one mentions it but the grey elephant in the room is menopause. at my age, i am not as resilient as when i was younger and my heart doesn’t heal as easily. chemistry together, have fun, enjoy traveling, her family connects well with me, etc. coupled with the factor that many 45 to 50 year old men may not be interested in dating a woman older than them (even though it is only a few years). i’m having an exceptionally hard time getting a man to even notice me in the first place. my reaction to that is to be the first to want to pull away. would have been up for having another family with the right man but men were too wrapped up in what they wanted and were frankly control freaks. i want a relationship with someone close to my age and have run into something i did not expect — my fault i am sure. in some sort of self convincing mantra that really comes off as passive aggressive. if you’re entering your 50s now, when was the playing field anything but absurdly tipped in favor of the women in your generation? i enjoy companionship, but not just on dates or or vacations. isn’t true for my three girlfriends, but it’s true for me. i don't get is that i had a lot in common with both of them, and both really seemed to care for me. what kind of human being would ever write “strong and independent” unless it was a man? match not working out does not change who you are and all the great things about you. i miss the love, the friendship, and the intimacy /sex and cuddling . one of the women who was interested in me went as far as to say, ïf she had the family she so much wanted, she would be happy for the guy to stay home (her home was a million place and belonged to her grandparents originally) and look after them until they could go to child care while she worked. the only time a woman wants a man is when she needs a man. i have too many requirements and not enough in the dating pool.’ve tried online dating a bit and dated a guy for close to three years. one neighbour is 60 and divorced and also looked after his aged mum for a long time and we got on quite well over the years. i enjoy being single, working, doing my running, hanging out with friends (of both genders) and am a very social person with an active and busy lifestyle. i’m not sure what the point of it all is, but i had recently thought, maybe i should give it a second look.’m a guy who stopped dating because i found the next best thing. in the meantime, i also have 2 older children with strong backgrounds with loving wives and 6 children between them. and women in our 50’s tend to have a different set of high standards when it comes to looking for love. after you are married with kids, men seem to think that flying southwest to akron ohio and staying at the airport hilton, while they are going to a work-related conference is a good vacation. the irony to this , is that the majority of these men are over weight themselves,bald,and i see them inviting women into their hotel/motel rooms in every town they travel to. your life is what you make of it, and your choices reflect your character. i feel that i am happier just doing my own thing. comments range from disappointments from past experiences to fears that paralyzes us from moving forward. also feel like i have a complete lack of interest in sex. yes, i had “offers” from unhappy women in unhappy relationships (why would i be interested? in that case, it might be helpful to find out who you really are and maybe take a shot at finding out why.’m 60 female and after many years of marriage my husband died. long way around to my point (with a little venting) is, yes, why bother? one feeling that makes a man fall – and stay – in love. after divorce #1, i was a single mother with custody of my 2 kids…working and trying online dating. most of them look horrible, many because they did physical labor for years, and this ages the body. i had several sexual encounters after he left me and not one of them was positive or even enjoyable, in fact, most times i never wanted to speak to that person again. i do have short sessions of loneliness from a desire for intimacy, but they are few and far between and slowly vacating the cranial mass.’s tough to find the right one when you’re over 50. advice » dating, dating issues » how do i tell someone nicely that i’m not interested? the other one ended in so much pain, betrayal, and hurt for me that i can't imagine going through that again. have you ever heard a commercial for androgel or low-t? response to “frank,”my experience since divorce has been one player after another and when i finally thought i found an honest, caring guy… 4 years into the relationship his double life was revealed. it takes an open heart and open mind to accept the risk, and to want to move forward to get to know another person. financial difficulties and his job losses kept me in the marriage longer than i would have liked. it is a matter of choice or no choice in case when you cannot find one that you are looking for. everyone wants to know that their potential partner has no real use for them except their own self gratification, right? you prefer to be alone versus give up your freedom? i mean come on, i was by his side through thick and thin, put in every dollar i made into what i thought was love, sharing and a lifelong marriage, only to find betrayal in every aspect. the majority tell me that it is because young women are more attractive,thin,active,and are not as set in their ways. are are assuming, eric, that the only companionship older women can have or want is with men, but many enjoy gal pals, children, grandchildren..it comes along when you least expect it and it could possibly be right in front of you.’m a 52 year old male and my experience is that women my age and older, who want to date and even have a committed relationship, are very rare indeed. the end of the process, the ferrari was far away with the chasing dog extremely exhausted. not to mention all the family dynamics just to scary i think. you are the same age as me and you sound lovey. sad that we all seem to share similar views but cannot get together with someone. its really having a joy for life period, a bucket list- some glow with passion from life- at any age you get negative types etc -if you glow you are like a magnet, at any age you light up a room. some women will say that they are sick of the “players” on the dating sites. as a point of inquiry from any of you who may be more knowledgeable than i am; how does this situation fit into finding a companion, a committed woman with this type of variable? i love my freedom, but would “give it up” if i found someone. made a list of the things that always interested me and i committed to them. me, being in your 40’s is not the same as being in your 50’s. so many times i’ve “started over” after a rship breakup. we’re all way too self-absorbed and concerned with the unholy trinity: me, myself and i. if you're an outgoing socialite and she's an introverted homebody, you're going to have a much harder time meshing your lives together. you have porn sites, video games and plenty of slutty liberated females to have meaningless sex with you can then complain about on here who aren’t wife material, while the ones that are have no choice but to be working 8-12 hours a day. she is a great woman but not right for me.

11 Things People Who Are Not Interested In Dating Are Tired Of

The thought of dating doesn't intrigue me/interest me anymore

just left a 20 year marriage which turned very brutal and ugly after male menopause set in, i was puzzled as to what i wanted. is why i suggest that 50ish women just forsake the us or western market alone and go for a foreign house boy with multiple skills, from fixing appliances to fixing a low libodo. i think the idea that women who have their lives together professionally etc. i’m 50 plus and have to admit that my independence is important to me. i stopped having sex years ago because frankly they sucked at that too, i don’t get anything out of it. pursue my writing, and i plan to start stand-up classes. clicking on the button above, i confirm that i have read and agree to the terms and conditions and privacy policy. please don’t throw in the towel yet; i’m not sure where you live, but i have found, at least in the sf bay area, that there are some open-minded, attractive and interesting men around our age (i like to skew a bit younger! i can understand not wanting to experience heartache again — being lied to is devastating — and yet accepting that we may face heartache again, and we will, is the only way we can ever experience love (or any deep connection with another person) again. so, yes, that means we keep putting ourselves out there in the world and living, hopefully at this point, with more gratitude than expectations. at least i know male colleagues are crazy about me. in the vast majority of cases i would *never* be able to tolerate the bs, especially having tried to do it once already. put the value of the day in proper perspective, and live. i want someone to hang out with a couple times a week, take a long weekend trip once in awhile, or watch a movie together.. these dialogues lead me to think it’s all pretty hopeless and if you can’t handle cancer alone you’re a pussy. no man could ever understand what a woman has gone through or how she feels emotionally . i made many sacrifices in the marriage and put my dreams on hold. i like not having to answer to or “work things out” with anyone. i've learned in the past, looks are deceiving, but in the field of dating, that never turns out to be the case., that last relationship is just what i’m looking for.“if anything, it’s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating.” but, ok, in my experience of my divorced friends, yes, all of us are interested in love again, and many of us have found it, sometimes several times. post straight 38-year old women only come in 3 flavors: jaded, desperate, and masculine—sometimes we get a little neapolitan mix. women who are my peers (or reasonably so), don’t need a man. in my opinion, this one is pretty simple; all it takes is just a bit of maturity combined with honesty and sensitivity. potential partners want to be seen with such a catch in public to the point that personality is pretty much irrelevant. like you, i am interested in someone in his 50’s. first want to say that i have enjoyed reading all about everyone’s dating experiences after the ages of realizations and expectations! ever said you need to be with someone or in a relationship? for self-absorption, i freely admit that i am entirely too self-absorbed to think about dating. been in a few relationships, but after a while, you can tell it’s not going to work. for me, i feel liberated and enjoy the feeling and focus it allows me to have. i have been a full time provider to my children and then during early retirement, a full time maid to my ex and constant fights and “conversations” about what i needed from our relationship, but with no results.!After reading many of the submissions … maybe i am with the wrong woman.. after the horrible experiences i had when young, i’m not about to put myself in harm’s way again. i can’t say that i enjoy being single for single sake, but i do enjoy the time to get to me some. that is often the man’s choice, in hindsight i would say to guys the empty nester, but when i was nearly in that position i thought younger woman and start again. what do you know, in 4 weeks, i’ve got 3 ladies (ages 26, 35 and 42) interested – one of whom kissed me on date one and stayed over on date 4. heck, just getting to the first-date phase was challenging enough. according to my doctor my health/fitness level is in the top 5% for my age range. don’t agree with you (at least in regards to me and some of my single women friends). if that's the case, then maybe you'd benefit from talking to somebody. am a registered nurse in dubai,52 years old and been receiving indecent proposal from men, a relationship base on sex alone. if not , it’s not the end of the world unless you’re an insecure bastard !! i’m 42, i’d love to have partner(s) in my life, but while i’m not necessarily opposed to living together, neither that nor legal marriage is something i’m shooting for. i always paid my own way (for the posts above about “material girls”, some of us do play fair and carry our own baggage) and worked to be a supportive partner. that my children are grown and married, i too am looking for someone to share my life with. at this age, becoming attached is a decision, it’s not by magic. now i don’t feel desirable though have been told i don’t look my age. sexually, it is not great most of the time- and that is not me not liking sex- just get tired of performance issues…. in the past 12 years i have dated two old friends for a few months time each. i have always gotten along better with men than women. the low production of testerone makes men just as moody, irritable, unpleasant to be around as some women having a bad menopause time. never understood men’s desperation to find a mate past 40. only contact women who seem to be of like mindset. that people are happiest when they're paired off with someone - possibly several someones. i too have been trying to figure out this older life dating thing. perhaps you should be more specific if and when you post dating profiles; put up a line like “no gold diggers need apply! in many ways this reminds me of most men i meet my age–they have the means to go on incredible adventures–but they chose to stay mored to a dock and let barnacles grow on them. always keep in mind that it’s not just what you say but it’s also how you say it. he cooks, cleans and picks up the kids thanks to womens’ lib. you prefer to be alone versus give up your freedom? in fact i have extremely limitied dating experience as well as munimal experience with women in general (long story). maybe we need a t-shirt or a hat identifying us. big changes with my kids grown and a new career you’d think now would have been a great time to finally meet someone since i had both the time and the room in my life for a new man but what’s happening instead is the same old crap in a different flavour. i know that if our relationship should come to an end, it will be done in a respectful and loving manner. i have made myself completely available both physically and financially to a marriage relationship for 6 years. say, "i appreciate that you're concerned about me, but i'm fine.” every woman goes through menopause yet that doesn’t mean all of us have gone without a partner. there are over 50 women who lose their sex drive+others who increase it due to decreasing demands from children.'ve now had 2 relationships, both lasting about year long each and its twice now that i've walked in on them both in bed with another dude. you should see the blogs of the men who trash talk western women in general, and women in the usa in particular while lavishing praise on the asian, colombian, russian and ukrainian women! men age faster and die younger, and, once they hit 60, start suffering from a host of chronic illnesses. i’m very selective where i stick my baby-builder because let’s be honest, it’s not really as important as the freedom i have. wasn't peer pressure that led to the turn off, but rather, the fact i felt locked into a game i knew would only lead to more problems down the road. so that whole notion that women are the only ones whose bodies and emotions change in middle age is bull****. reset by means of my financially getting my life back in order since he took me for everything except my self worth. after a couple weeks, he found a new “girlfriend” and is very serious about her. person who chooses to play games reflects his/her inner world is not solid.'ve looked for complete opposites and girls who are like me, and nothing seems to work for me. but i'm just wondering if i'm the only one out there that just doesn't seem to have those feelings. i never imagined being the sole support and then watching my then mate go behind my back with his mommy and steal from me! i have everything i need in my group of fun married and single friends that just accept me as i am. that said, i feel men are guided by the laws of sexual attraction. but it may be that there's something about this particular personality type that attracts you. sure, i knew it was a milestone age, and i had accomplished most of what i set out to do — except find love. but that strips the humanity right out of it, because a man is not a thing to be acquired any more than a woman is. never mind everyone around me seems to be partnered up. they'll get the hint and move on to a different topic. he is also a regular guest at one of us. hopefully, he is out there looking for me as well. with such busy schedules with work, family, volunteer work and some returned to school, believe me, they aren’t holed up! what i have witnessed around the break shack table during lunch breaks and while traveling for work. i want intimacy, sex, fun, interactions, and i get tired of going places alone all the time…but lots of times i want to be alone, talking to whomever (whom- or who-? i let the other two ladies down gently, explaining i’d met someone. i received them into my home as my own when they were 1., maybe you need to be choosier in the women you date. see women who are married but miserable, but won’t leave because financially they don’t want to have to go back to work or full-time work. so what do i think about dating at this age? i bought my own home thru hard work and saving after i got divorced, and i’m not selling my home to move in with anyone. you have baggage, accept others with similar baggage, you are matched. maybe it’s the baggage on both sides, as no one reaches the half century mark without some of it. my career field crashed and burned, so i’m doing blue-collar work. i do have a short list of “deal breakers”, it consists more of the non-smoking, no drugs, and no criminal past order than the tall, dark, and handsome requirements juveniles usually list. but remember – “with great power comes great responsibility” – don’t abuse it. i’ve accepted i may be alone for the rest of my days, and i’m ok with it now. i enjoy happiness and fulfillment, but i doubt i’ll find either by breaking a covenant promise and violating my conscience. our marriage was as close to perfect as possible for the first few years (before i deployed); we rarely fought (and even then, never raised our voices to each other), enjoyed each other's interests (as well as shared ones), enjoyable sex (happening at least biweekly), and we both got along really well with each other's friends and families. you are single, that is why you can’t get anybody. so how to go out there and still feel attractive? is why men like you have problems–you really hate women. my advice is to get involved with things you enjoy-church, golf, fishing, music, model trains-whatever. you are kidding yourself if you dont think men dont go thru change. that's taking on an huge level of responsibility with someone you barely know. actually, i’m not a player, i have no interest in being a player. notice, the two women who have relationships are getting married, the author doesn’t show interest & is single too. in some ways it seems much more complicated at this age because we can experience a relationship in so many other ways than the traditional fall-in-love-move-in-get-married-have-kids paradigm. all wanted to rush to the alter or “move in together”. it is most interesting to read other people’s experience. i had no interest in meeting another man and thought that my two adult children were all i needed. just have no intention to pursue dating, as i'm disenchanted with the whole process.'s a certain truism when it comes to dating, tb - the only common denominator in all of your relationships is. unfortunately, this search produced predominantly sugar daddies/sugar babies websites. is a huge hole in available attractive women between 25 and 35 (married, gay or finding themselves (read: career-driven)). it’s about the other person, whatever children you may have (divorce is tough on kids regardless of what professors of women’s studies rant) and keeping your promises. i’ve probably had more than my fair share of men in this lifetime already, anyway. his orders may not always make sense to me, but i can still carry them. if think marriage is about being a servant to the man, then you have a warped view of marriage! i, too, am not looking for a husband (although i’m not necessarily against marrying), but i most definitely would like a partner — uhh, with conditions. not being in a relationship isn't an automatic referendum on your worth as a person; it just means that you're not dating anyone. amazed me is that there is no one mention what true love is. we only have a few years left to enjoy ourself before real old age kicks our asses and relegates us into generic blue-hairs, dismissed by every other living person on earth as waiting to die. you assume, as i once did, that women actually want a relationship with – or at least a resource in – a man. you will reach a point in your life when it is all an exercise in futility.(e) have low debt tolerance – think vacations and renos on credit is for fools. life is too short to sit on the couch and i’m not willing to go through another heart ache. plus they love to lord it over older women that they can get women of any age, even going overseas on those so-called “romance tours” for mail order brides who are young enough to be their doggone daughters.(b) have no interest in this social media / facebook / twitter / look-at-me thing. why do you thi k mdn have to rely on bibra so mou h now in their midlife. with my odd requests my dating pool is much less. maybe have a few flings with younger men and have fun with your gal pals until you click with someone? they can’t reproduce anymore, so there’s no biological “hunt” to find the best male producer/provider. also, i get a good laugh out of hearing a man in his 50s say he’s dating down to avoid menopause. think it’s easier for me because i travel alot and i don’t expect to meet anyone and i’m not trying. you prefer to be alone versus give up your freedom?

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